


Kunugigaoka Knows

by gwendee



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternative Perspective, Canon Compliant Events, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, POV Outsider, Slice of Life, Social Media, The Author Regrets Nothing, but they do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 77,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22773166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: "We're supposed to know nothing," Asano reminds her."But they're so bad at it," Mikasi whines, and around her the other class representatives voice their agreements."Well that's why they're in class E," Asano says, rolling his eyes. "If there was a final for subtlety, they would have already failed it."Kunugigaoka's main campus aren't so oblivious after all.
Comments: 1500
Kudos: 999





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I.... can't even say anything right now. I'm sorry.
> 
> Hello my fellow assclass fans, this is Gwen back with more chaotic fics. Have you ever wanted to re-read or re-watch the whole of Assclass again but from the perspective of the main campus students? No? Well, you have it anyways.  
> I have to apologize, though, that there are so many original characters that you are about to be introduced too in this fic. There will still be the main cast we all know and love, and this fic is still all about them! And, well, how horrible they all are at keeping secrets. 
> 
> Thanks for giving this fic a shot! I know the premise is hella weird like huh? Huh??? But! I hope you have fun with it!

The highly anticipated hour has finally arrived, and masses of students gather at the singular notice board in the middle of the hallway and clamber for a look at the name list that is to decide their lives and standing in the social hierarchy for the next year. The class of 3-D, or rather the current year 2 students who would end up in the class of 3-D at the start of the next academic year, convene in the current 2-D classroom and look over their spoils.

"Hello, new classmates!" Shun says, throwing his bag into a seat and plopping into the one adjacent. "Looks like my standards have dropped again this year. Who are the unlucky bunch in next year's death squad?"

"A lot of the undeserving ones," Kiyoko says sadly. "Yuuma Isogai, for one. He should be in at least C with his grades but Principal Asano put him in E because of his part time job."

"That's a shame," Guro agrees. "I heard his family is really unfortunate. Not everyone can afford the expensive elite school fees, but luckily I heard he's on scholarship from one of the community beneficiaries."

"Oh damn!" Hosu says, holding his phone out at arm's length. "Karma Akabane is in 3-E."

"Oh?" Yana says. "Yes! Finally!"

"What's wrong with Akabane?" Shun says. "Isn't he one of the smart ones? I want him for group projects."

"If he was just 'one of the smart ones'," Yana says, "he wouldn't have been in D originally, would he?" She leans over with a conspiratorial whisper, and the group huddles in closer to listen. "He's put in D originally because he keeps getting into fights but it was with other school kids, so Principal Asano didn't care but he still had to move him down to D to preserve the sanctity of the school reputation. The final straw was beating up one of our own, and he got a suspension for that too." 

"I mean we all knew this," Shun whispers back in the same tone of voice. "Why are we whispering?" 

"Don't you know?" Yan says. "The walls have ears. You were in C last time but here in D, we have less leeway so we speak a little quieter about these things. And let's face it, Principal doesn't really care about the rights and wrongs of beating people up. I hear the real reason is because Akabane argued with him."

"No, Akabane's still alive. That's not possible." Huso pauses. "A... mild disagreement, maybe."

"Nagisa Shiota is in 3-E!" Shun says. "Aww. I was hoping to be able to speak to her more, I thought she was kind of cute-"

"Him," Yan says firmly. "Not her. Nagisa is a boy."

"Really?" Shun stares. "But she has such long hair! And I saw her mother at the gates once and she called Nagisa her daughter."

"Well Nagisa told us he's a boy," Yana says, "so he's a boy. Maybe he's not out to his mother yet or she doesn't accept him." 

"Oh," Shun says. 

"I hope Akabane doesn't give him a hard time," Kiyoko says. "They were friends once, you know, it was really weird, they ate together during lunch and went out after school and everything. Then one day they just stopped being."

"Maybe Akabane wanted a girlfriend but he found out Nagisa was a boy," Guro says.

"Maybe," Yana shrugs. "I don't like Nagisa's mom. Something about her seems off."

"Hope she doesn't give him a hard time for being dropped to E," Yan says. 

"I pity the lot but I wouldn't want to be there," Hosu says. "And to climb up that stupid hill everyday? I'd rather drop out."

"Forbidden words!" Kiyoko gasps.

"We might die," Yana says with a theatrical voice, "or even worse…"

"Expelled!"

\--

"Who's that?" Wasai says.

"That's the new 3-E teacher," Suki says, turning back to look at the new face who passed them in the halls. "I saw her going up to the 3-E campus the other day. I don't know her name, though."

"They have a new teacher?" Wasai says. "What happened to the last one?"

"I dunno," Suki says. "They recycle teachers like DADA."

"Huh?" 

"Right, you don't watch harry potter. Weirdo. Anyways in Harry Potter, they take this class called Defense Against the Dark Arts or DADA in English, and the thing about that class is that all the weird stuff happens there, so they end up changing a new teacher every year for a ton of reasons."

"Ohh. That makes sense."

"Does it?" 

"Not really. Do you think there are secret elevators on the hill? They can't possibly walk all the way up and down every day, right?"

"I don't know, Tsubara and his friends went around the hill to try find something like that once but they didn't get anything."

"Aww," Wasai says. "At least they'll be getting tons of cardio?" 

Saki snickers. "Sure, and we'll have to run laps like normal people." 

\--

"Why the hell was Sugino dropped off the school team?"

"Didn't you hear?" Sato says. "He got put in 3-E." 

"I tried talking to Coach," Shindou says. 

"Coach is useless in this scenario," Anaya says. "You have to talk to the Principal."

There's a pause as everybody contemplates that situation, and they let out simultaneous shudders.

"Yeah, nah, I like the guy,” Shindou says, “but not enough."

“Rip Sugino,” Juno says, “he was a good guy, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

“I thought his grades were pretty okay,” Anaya says. “I mean, he was slipping, but not that much, right?”

“Yeah, but 3-E’s class quota has to be filled,” Sato shrugs. “If not him, someone else had to end up there anyways, I guess Sugino just drew the short end of the stick.”

“Yeah,” Shindou says. “Not something that can be helped. I guess we have to hold new tryouts.” 

“I hear Sugaya got kicked out of the Art Club, too.”

“Well, to be fair, they’re going to have to focus more on their grades and not extracurriculars,” Juno points out. “Besides, by the time they walk down the hill when class ends in midday, it’d be sun down!”

\--

“The moon exploded,” Asano says, gaping at the news article on his phone and double checking the sources for credibility because that’s just ridiculous. “The moon fucking exploded. Are you seeing this?”

"Heheh," Sakakibara says. He turns his phone screen to show Asano a picture of the crescent moon with bold black text on the top, "this was the moon we all drew in 3rd grade". 

Asano gives him an unimpressed look. "The moon exploded, Ren." 

"Well what do you want me to do?" Sakakibara says. "I can't fix the moon." 

“What do you think could have caused it?” Koyama says. “Aliens? A government conspiracy?”

“Why would any government blow up the moon?”

“I don’t know, why would the US government blow up the twin towers?”

“Well something must have happened,” Asano insists. “I’m going to find out.”

“I’m sure they’ll release an official statement soon,” Sakakibara says. “We just have to w-”

Asano's phone dings. He looks down at it, scrolls, squints, and shouts.

“A giant yellow octopus blew up the fucking moon?!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! If the first chapter didn't discourage you to read the second, I'd like to say thanks for clicking on! 
> 
> I get the reservations about OCs for the most part as most fics introduce just one or two OCs, and this fic is going to be primarily OC based which most people aren't interested in reading on. Especially since people read fanfic primarily for the characters they are already interested in, an OC here or there requires new emotional investment and attachment that is honestly exhausting.  
> Hopefully to reassure you (?) this whole bunch of OCs are low commitment! The main campus kids will have their own little subplots and lives going on but you don't have to necessarily follow any of them if you don't want to! There's no pressure to keep up with anything and it won;t affect the main flow of the story, which is some sort of "overheard in ___" kind of vibe i'm going for.

“I heard a new student transferred to our year.”

“Oh?” Wasai is mildly interested but she hadn’t seen any new students around in campus. “What’s their name, which class are they in?”

“That’s the thing,” Kiyoko says. “She got into class 3-E! Her name is Kayano Kaede-

“Kayano Kaede?” Watanabe, who has thus far been busy with her phone, quickly slides into the seat across them. “What about her?’

“You know her?” Kiyoko says, eyebrow raised. “She just transferred in. She ended up in class 3-E, what a shame, really, she hadn’t had the chance to experience the rest of the main campus yet.”

“Oh? No, I don’t know her,” Watanabe says. “I thought you were talking about something else.”

“I heard the boys talking about it,” Kiyoko says. “Apparently she’s kinda cute, they saw her going up the mountain this morning, she has green hair with two adorable twin tails like this,” she bunches up her hair and pulls them into two side ponytails, but they look more messy than adorable. She shakes her head and smoothens her hair down. 

“They talk to her then? Did she say anything about 3-E?”

“Nah, they didn’t get the chance to. They just asked Asano what her name was. Maybe we’ll get to see her in the assembly this week.”

“Oh man, I just thought about it,” Wasai says, “they’re going to have to go up and down that stupid mountain just for assembly! That’s awful! Why is one singular classroom built on a mountain, anyways?”

“I heard from the seniors that it’s haunted,” Watanabe says. 

“I know Rukiyo went up there once, and she says she thinks she saw a shrine,” Kiyoko says, “like, for a dead person.”

“You think someone died in the classroom?!” Wasai says, eyes wide. “That’s why we can’t demolish it, or the angry spirits would come wreak havoc on the school! So we have to send a class of sacrifices up there every year to appease them!”

“Maybe there are a ton of ghosts up there,” Kiyoko says, winking conspirutally, and her voice drops to a whisper, “maybe the Principal killed someone and buried their body!”

The three burst into giggles. “I wouldn’t put it past him, if I’m honest!” 

\--

“Asano, you okay?”

“Hm? Oh, hi, yeah. I’m just thinking about something.” 

“What could be possibly plaguing the mind of our favorite student council president?” Toro teases.

A half-smile quirks up at the side of Asano’s lips. “You’re biased.”

“You’re our favorite~!” Chika sings, from where she’s perched at her desk a few seats away. She abandons her phone and bounces over to the table adjacent to the boys. “What’s on your mi-nd? Are we going to get a killer curriculum again this year?”

“No, it’s…” Asano pauses for a moment, frowning. “I went to a funeral yesterday.”

“Oh?” Chika says, furrowing her brow. “My condolences.”

“No, it wasn’t…” Asano shakes his head. “It was 3-E’s homeroom teacher. She passed abruptly in a terrible accident.”

“Oh no,” Toro says. “What was her name? Yukihara-sensei, right?”

“Yukimura,” Asano corrects. 

“How are her family coping? Are they alright? What happens to 3-E?” 

“That’s the issue, her family was largely absent through the proceedings. Only her fiance was present but I was told she had a living father and sister.”

“Maybe she’s estranged from them,” Toro says, “that’s so sad. I hope her fiance is doing alright.”

“He was…” Asano’s lips curl. “A unique character, I would say. He didn’t seem too bothered by her death.”

“I didn’t know much about her but now I feel bad,” Chika says. “I mean, I would suggest we do something for her family, but…”

“The Principal is supposed to notify 3-E today,” Asano says. “I doubt they’ve heard the news yet.”

“Are we talking about the Principal?” Yuna steps in through the 3-A classroom doors, a bag slung over her shoulder. Sakakibara and Tanaka are behind her. “We saw him go up the 3-E mountain. It was kind of strange, there were a couple of people in suits with him.”

“The fiance?” Chika wrinkles her nose.

“What?” 

“Yukimura-sensei passed unfortunately two days ago,” Asano tells them. “He’s going to inform 3-E about the news. Who was he with?”

“Some guy with black hair all spiked up like,” Tanaka fans his fingers out, “woosh.”

“A lady with short hair and a clipboard,” Yuna says, “and someone with a buzz cut and glasses who-”

“-had a fucking machine gun!” Tanaka yells.

“What?!” Asano jumps out of his seat. “Why didn’t you start with that?!”

“Well the Principal was with them, so…” 

“Well he’s psycho,” Asano says. He runs over to the window which gives him a view of the foot of the 3-E mountain, but there’s honestly not much else that can be seen. “Like an actual machine gun?”

“They were in black suits and everything! They’re like… the Men in Black!” Yuna says.

“Are they going to kill the whole of 3-E?!” Chika says.

“I sure hope not!” Toro says. 

“I’d appreciate if this was kept in the low-down until I confirm the situation,” Asano says, “I don’t want unsubstantiated rumors being spread and causing mass panic.”

“A couple of others saw them too,” Sakakibara says. “Not that we’ll go blurting out in public that our Principal is going up a hill full of children with a gun, but I’ll spread the word: no unmitigated rumors.”

“Right,” Asano says. “Any news gets through me.”

“Yes, council president!”

“Stop that. That’s cheesy. Asano will do.”

“Yes, council president Asano!”

“Now I feel like the Principal.”

\--

“Hey, hey,” Watanabe elbows Sato, who looks disgruntled at the interruption and tries to go back to his book, but Watanabe elbows him again. “Look up.”

“What?” Sato says.

“That’s Haruna Mase. With 3-E.”

“3-E?” Sato leans over her head and squints at the class in question, all dressed in non school regulation clothes because why wouldn’t they want to be more of outcasts than they already are? And says, “Haruna Mase, like the actress?”

“Yeah, the short girl up front, the one with green hair.” Watanabe stands on tip toes. “Do you see her?”

“I do…" Sato furrows his brow. There's a short girl with bright green hair, chatting to one of her classmates. "Is she a new student? I don’t recognize her.”

“That’s Haruna!” Watanabe hisses.

Sato squints at her. “Are you okay? Haruna has black hair, right? And what would she be doing here?”

“I don’t know, but that _is_ her,” Watanabe insists. “She’s probably wearing a wig or something.”

“That’s stupid. You’re delusional.”

“I’m not! That is her. I’d recognize Haruna anywhere.”

“First of all, there is no way you would recognize Haruna just like that. You wouldn’t know if Haruna walked past you on the street. Second of all-”

“I run a Haruna Mase twitter stan account.”

“... _Excuse me?”_

“I run a Haruna Mase twitter stan account,” Watanabe repeats, slowly. “I spent hours each week editing and posting pictures of Haruna Mase’s face. I know that’s her.”

“,,,Okay,” Sato says, looking up again at the green haired 3-E girl. He still doesn’t see it. 

“I’m going to tell Asano,” Watanabe says. “Come with me later. He’ll probably figure it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is so far!  
> Some notes:  
> 1\. As far as I know (or as it seems to be depicted in the anime) the world isn't exactly hush-hush about the fact that a giant yellow octopus has destroyed the moon? Korosensei, as much as he goes out in "disguise" when he's with the class, also appears in public plenty as a giant yellow octopus.  
> 2\. It's not canon that Aguri had a funeral or that the Asanos went to it, I just thought it would be fitting (and a good way to kickstart this story). I think she would have a funeral anyways because it's simply proper and expected. Gakuhou would go to be polite, and Gakushuu might go because he's a busybody, although he might pull the "student council president" card to get to tag along.  
> 3\. The name "Kayano Kaede" if I'm not wrong, is the name of one of the one-shot characters Akari played in a short film once. Watanabe, my resident Haruna Mase superfan, knows this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back! Hope you didn't miss me!  
> Here's more... Kunugigaoka Main as they attempt to figure things out.

"Hey, Asano," Araki nudges him, "so that's the new 3-E teacher?"

Their eyes flick towards class 3-E standing at the far end of the hall, standing out like a sore thumb. Would it kill them to just put on the school regulation blazer? Do school uniforms and rules not exist in the part of the world they're living in? Seriously, being in the oppressed minority doesn't mean a free pass with rules, that's how delinquents are bred - even thieves in poverty are criminals.

There's an imposing man with spiked black hair and a dark suit standing by the class, looking as much out of place as his students.

"Yes," Asano says, "That's Karasuma Tadaomi. He's the newly registered homeroom teacher for 3-E." 

Araki pulls out his phone. "They updated the website," he says, and true enough Karasuma-sensei is now on the official list of faculty. His profile thumbnail is no less serious looking.

Behind them, Yuna taps Asano's shoulder. "That's the guy we saw going up the hill with the Principal the other day. Not the one with the gun, the one with the... whoosh hair." 

"Hmm," Asano says. 

\--

“Haruna Mase? Like… the actress?” 

“Yeah, see,” Watanabe says. She pulls out her twitter and scrolls until she finds a nice front-facing shot of Haruna, albeitt with dark hair, and holds it up to the official student picture of one 3-E Kayano Kaede that Asano has found on the school’s database. “See? They have the exact same eyes. Well their hair is different, but everything looks the same. Their face structure, nose, chin,-”

“But why would Haruna Mase be in our school?” Asano says. “And why would she be in 3-E?”

“If Haruna was supposed to be in disguise, she should have gotten contacts too, right?” Watanabe continues, “that’s just lazy. Did she think no one would recognize her if she changed her hair? It’s like saying you guys would not know who I was anymore if I went to cut and dye my hair tomorrow. And the fake name Kayano Kaede, even, it was the name of one of the characters she played in a short film! To be fair, it’s not one of her popular ones from super early on, but-”

“Maybe she just wanted an education without people bothering her about her famous personality,” Sato says.

“Coming to Kunugigaoka, sure, this is a pretty good school. But joining class 3-E? She’s supposed to be like, a genius. There’s no way she’s ended up in class E, something’s definitely up,” Watanabe says. “Right, Asano?” 

“Right,” Asano muses. “She must have had a motivation for coming here. Tell me everything you know about Haruna.”

“Well for starters,” Watanabe says, “Haruna Mase isn’t her real name, it’s just her stage name. Her real name is Akari Yukimura-”

“Stage name?” Sato says.

“Wait,” Asano says.

“Well yeah, tons of celebrities have stage names. Like... I don't know-”

“Yukimura?" Asano furrows his brow. "Like Aguri Yukimura?”

“No, no, _Akari_ Yukimura-”

“We had a faculty named Aguri Yukimura,” Asano says. “She was the 3-E homeroom teacher. Do you wager they’re related?” With a few more clicks on his laptop he pulls out a picture of Yukimura-sensei, to which Watanabe gasps. “They look so alike! Did she come to learn under her sister? That’s so cute-”

“No, Yukimura-sensei’s dead,” Asano says. “I was at her funeral last week.”

“She’s what?! Oh gosh, Haruna has been inactive from social media for the past week, I just thought she was busy with her schedule-!”

“So she is in 3-E, which was her sister’s old class,” Asano muses, “but she wasn’t before, and it was a choice made deliberately because her grades should warrant her a place in Main... which means her transfer must have had something to do with the circumstances surrounding Yukimura-sensei’s death.”

“You went to her funeral, right?” Sato says. “How was it?”

“Very strange,” Asano says. “Her fiance was the only family member present. His name was Yanagisawa…” He pauses, tapping something out on his laptop, “Yanagisawa Labs. He’s a scientist, that’s him.”

“He looks greasy,” Watanabe wrinkles her nose. “Yukimura-sensei was so pretty, she could have done way better.”

“Who are we to judge her tastes?” Asano says. “Although… I agree. He was so flippant through the funeral it didn’t seem like it was a marriage for love.”

“Do people do political marriages anymore?” Sakakibara says. “That’s so old fashioned.” 

“Money,” Watanabe says quickly, “warring families.”

“Life isn’t a soap opera,” Sato says. 

“Perhaps we should find out more about Yukimura-sensei and Yanagisawa before jumping to conclusions,” Asano says, but he sounds amused.

“Oh, oh, this is fun!” Watanabe claps her hands. “A spy mission! Uncovering Haruna Mase’s mission and Yukimura-sensei’s death.” She flips her hair over her shoulder. “The detective is on the case!”

“Remember,” Sakakibara says.

“Hush-hush, right,” she winks. “Who knows what kind of sneaky nefarious agenda the Principal has, right? I heard about the guns, I’m scared for 3-E too. I hope they don’t do anything to my pretty Kanzaki!”

\--

"Turns out if you google Karasuma Tadaomi and go to the third page of the results-"

"-Who even makes it to third page?" Toro says loudly.

Anaya ignores him. "-you get to a result that says he's an air force instructor in the military!'

3-A erupts in exclamations, why would 3-E have an air force instructor for a teacher? They turn to Asano, who's thus far been in the middle of the worksheet and now observing the cacophony until it dies down. Then he says, "did you know the Principal is a registered pilot?"

The class gapes and fall silent. Sakakibara says, "What?!" 

"The Principal is a registered pilot," Asano repeats. "I wouldn't be surprised if Karasuma-sensei was hired based off that shared interest, the Principal is eccentric enough to do that."

"Oh," Yuna says, "huh." 

"He brought me on a recreational flight once," Asano offers, because it seems like everyone is wondering. 

A wave of giggles wash around the students. "Was he a good flier?"

"The best," Asano says loyally. "But I thought he was going to kill me, if I'm being honest. It was worse than a rollercoaster. I would recommend it but only once. But thank you for bringing that up, Anaya, you have a good eye for… er, information gathering. We'll revisit that when a relevant link pops up." 

"Kind of in character that the Principal hired a pilot just because," Anaya shrugs.

"I mean, wouldn't it be weirder if the air force is involved in whatever 3-E is doing?" Tanaka says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious to know, how does everyone find it so far? In terms of the OCs especially, I feel like the whole premise and idea of this fic aren't the most out of my expertise given my previous history of weird stuff I write BUT a huge mass of OCs and a main-OC fic is. Is the sheer number of people drifting in and out starting to be too much? Or is it still, well, okay? I don't know. I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww you guys I do love reading everyone's comments, HAHA. 
> 
> OKAY it's pretty plot-heavy right now and we haven't truly settled into the pure-fun areas of the fic as i want to push development quickly so main campus figures things out as fast as they can. Once that's over and done with we will have the 3-E appearing more often and finally seeing Main react to the weird shit going on, as they know what's going on.
> 
> The summary of the fic is a snippet of what I plan to happen but here's another one:
>
>>   
> "He has a tie with the crescent moon on it," Sakakibara. "I can appreciate the symbolism but-"  
> "He's 3 metres tall," Tanaka says. "The tie is… a cool easter egg, I guess, but he's fucking three metres tall."  
> 
> 
> Koro-sensei, please.

Koyta raps his knuckles against the door twice and peeks his head into the 3-A classroom. “Is Asano-senpai here?”

“Nah, he got called into the lion’s den,” says Yuna. “He should be back soon, though, he’s been gone for like, 20 minutes. You can wait here if you want.”

“Oh, okay.” Koyta steps into the classroom and awkwardly takes an empty seat by the door. 

“Why do you want to meet him?” Yuna says.

“O-oh, you know the thing about… Yukimura-sensei’s fiance that has been going around?” 

Yuna drops her pen, swivels in her chair and leans forward. “Oh? Do tell.”

“I mean… my uncle used to work there… I don’t really know much but Asano-senpai said he wanted to ask me about it so…”

“Aww," Yuna says. "That's cool. What class are you in?" 

"2E!" Kotya squeaks. "Oh god, I'm so sorry."

"E? Well, better study hard or you're going to walk up that hill," Yuna says. "I hear it's haunted, and there are snakes - oh hi, Asano."

Asano is at the door, scowling to himself, but his face smooths out. "Hi," he says. 

"Asano-senpai!' Kotya says. "I'm-"

"Ishubya Kotya," Asano beams, "nice to meet you." He grasps Kotya's hands in a firm handshake, and Kotya squeaks again. How cute.

"How was Papa?" Yuna says.

Asano rolls his eyes. "Same old, same old. Whatever that's going on in 3-E is big news, or big enough to require a cover up, at least. He told me to mind my own business in the nicest way possible."

"Can't imagine that," Yuna snorts. 

"So," Asano says, turning to Kotya. "How's your uncle?"

"Um, he actually quit his job," Kotya says, "he never told me what he was working on, said it was classified whenever I asked… but he said he couldn't handle the… uh, the… ethical stress."

Asano's eyebrows rise to his fringe. "Classified?"

"Yeah, I don't know about that… sorry," Kotya shifts, "but I have to tell you that he was saying it's a good thing he quit because a terrible lab accident happened last week! Like, a dozen people died! There was some major experimental accident and almost everyone working there died that night, if my uncle didn't quit he would be there too!" 

"A major lab accident!" Yuna gasps. "Asano, how did Yukimura sensei die? Was she in the accident? The timeline matches up, right, it was last week?" 

"I…" Asano looks conflicted. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Kotya."

\--

There's a cork board in the student council room, that Watanabe smugly tacks a piece of paper with "Freaky Lab Experiment" scribbled on it. Then she loops a string of yarn from that lead through "Giant Yellow Octopus" and "Blew up the Moon."

"That's a bit of a leap in logic, isn't it," Asano says.

"The yellow octopus is either an alien or a freaky lab experiment," Watanabe says. "We don't have leads on the alien thing - other than the moon lead where there's a secret government base on the moon researching classified data and the alien blew it up to preserve it's secrets (it's on a sticky note on the board) - but scientific experiment ties up! It's probably a creature that gained sentience, escaped Yanagisawa lab, killing people in the process including Yukimura-sensei, and decided to wage war on the humans that experimented on it as well as humanity itself, blew up the moon and will blow up the world!"

They do find it on the news - an article on the third page of a tabloid magazine added as if it was an afterthought, about a lab accident at Yanagisawa labs killing 20. The main news networks failed to publish the story, which leads them to believe that there’s certainly something worth being classified about it. How the tabloid managed to get coverage on it no one knows. 

"That's video game logic," Sato says.

"Like any of this makes sense otherwise," Sakakibara points out. 

There are a few other theories slapped on the board. One of it is a creature from an alternate dimension, another of which is a creature from - courtesy of Sato - a video game. None of the choices are any less plausible than the others.

"See!" Watanabe points a finger. "He gets it!"

The council room door bursts open. Watanabe quickly flips the board so it spins to the clean side, but it's just Asami and Yuu. They look like they've seen a ghost.

"Karma Akabane's back on campus!" Asami sobs. "I ran into him on the way up the hill and he had a knife!! I thought I was going to die!"

Worst than a ghost, then. 

"Oh my god," Asano says.

\--

Karma Akabane with a knife is a red flag in itself but with the recent light of unexplained events happening, the main campus is put on red alert. It's for everyone's personal safety.

“I don’t wanna die!” Asami wails, half-clinging onto Asano’s school jacket, as Sakakibara had sprinted off to find Araki to spread the news. 

“He’s not going to kill you,” Asano says, with no small amount of exasperation. “Akabane has a very specific and strict moral code to govern his actions and he does not hurt others indiscriminately.” He pauses. “It’s just that no one can figure out what the hell said moral code is.”

Yuu looks Asami up and down. “You don’t fit the profile of his previous victims,” she says. It's not as reassuring as she hopes it'd be.

“How did Akabane look?” Asano says.

“Well,” Asami thinks, “okay, I guess. A little excited about the knife, which scared me. He’s still cute. I think he grew taller,” she squints at Asano, “I think he’s taller than you now.”

“Oh, dammit,” Asano says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your inputs about the OCs and story format so far! I think a couple of you have commented that it's hard to keep track of people drifting in and out of the story but not really a priority (?) because so far it hasn't been plot relevant. I think the most prominent OC so far is Watanabe, characterized by her Haruna Mase obsession - which makes her memorable, I suppose, unlike the others who have no distinguishing personality traits other than being conversation placeholders. I do plan to have the "placeholder" OCs appear recurringly through the story but it's mostly to keep a semblance of consistency and I don't want to come up with new names, but you don't have to keep track of them if you don't want to! There will be the more memorable, plot-relevant OCs like Watanabe popping in.
> 
> Thanks Tht0neGal666 for the class register suggestion HAHA I would consider doing that up! What is stopping me is that 1. I don't have enough people to make a class and 2. I don't even know who is in which class, for now. I do have cliques and some pre-established friendships so far. 
> 
> Of course I'm always open to comments and suggestions about the story. Thank you everyone for reading! Hope you don't mind my rambling authors notes (although feel free to say if you do).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hear human-Asano and Watanabe are fun to watch n action?  
> I'm steadily running out of Japanese surnames (I say, as I google "common Japanese Surnames"). They'll make their rounds. Pretty sure i'm accidently throwing first names/words that aren't actually names in there, I'm sorry.

The shaky video recording begins at the school front gates with blurry greens of foliage framing the camera. It appears the videographer is inconspicuously behind a bush. 

Center-frame are what seems to be a three meters tall, incredibly pale man in a tacky cosplay-style scholar’s robe, turning an alarming shade of pink as a woman with incredibly huge breasts press them up against him. 

“I’m looking for Kunugigaoka Junior High!” The woman says in a high-pitched tone. She bats her eyelashes. The… man seems taken by them.

"I work there!" The creepy man says. "I can show you the way!"

"Would you?!" The woman says, delighted.

That man does not work for Kunugigaoka Junior High, as far as the students know, and neither does his female companion. Or do they?

“She does now, apparently,” Asano says, showing the classmates surrounding him the registered faculty list. Koyama pauses the video, sent to him from Yuu who got it from one of the juniors who stumbled across this peculiar scene. "I can't find any records of the man as any of the staff."

“Does she?” Seo says in earnest. 

Asano gives him a sharp look. “Her name is,” he checks his phone, “Irina Jelavic. Jelavic-sensei. She is 3-E’s new languages teacher.”

3-A stare at Asano, awaiting his verdict.

“I'm stumped,” Asano says.

“I’ll put it on the Board,” Araki says. 

The board in question is no longer the physical board in the student council room - it still exists, but Watanabe had essentially taken it over and is oddly defensive when anyone else tries to mess up her "vision". There is now an online discussion board - on a seperate server, thanks Chika - hosted by the president of the computing club, so the Principal is unable to poke around on it. The video is promptly shared on the platform.

"That's not a human being," Sakakibara says flatly. "I refuse to believe it is."

"He has tentacles for arms," Tanaka says. "Asano, he has _tentacles for arms._ "

"I am…" Asano says, "flabberghasted. I don't have an explanation for this."

The 3-A's room door bursts open. Watanabe is on the other side, eyes blown and hair messy. "Asano!!!" She screams.

"Watanabe," Asano greets cordially.

"The octopus?!" She screams, again.

"The octopus," Asano agrees. "Sit down."

Watanabe throws herself over Asano's desk melodramatically. "My theories! My hypotheses!"

"The lady is so hot," Yuna mumbles, from when she's replaying the video the fifth time.

"You useless lesbian," Yuu says.

"Those boobs look real-"

Yuu smacks her. 

"-and her butt looks good in that skirt-"

Yuu smacks her, again.

"-and I would LOVE for her to kill me with those heels."

"Am I the only one getting some intense Black Widow vibes from her?" Juno says. "She is in no way acting or dressing like a teacher. No offense to hot teachers. I think my mind is still on the air force instructor 3-E already has."

"Her biceps," Yuna mumbles, hand over her cheeks. "I bet she could bench-press me."

"Is she another air force instructor?" Watanabe says. She's scrolling through her phone. "I can't find anything on her. She doesn't even have social media-"

"-No!" Yuna sobs.

"-or like, any normal internet footprint."

"That is suspicious," Asano says.

"Are we going to skip past the whole three meter tall man with tentacle arms?" Tanaka says. "Someone on the forum is making a very compelling case and I'm not liking what I'm seeing." 

"Let me see," Asano says. Tanaka hands over his phone, which is open to a post of simply a picture of the moon destroying octopus supercreature that… huh. Huh.

"Huh," Asano says.

"Uh huh," Watanabe says. 

"I don't like what any of this insinuates," Asano says.

\--

Rei thrusts a piece of paper - a very passionate artist's comparison of the moon supercreature and the unknown tentacle-armed faculty member, matching them proportion by proportion, body part to body part - towards Asano earnestly. 

Asano stares down at it. "Thank you, Rei," he says quietly.

Behind Rei, Haya steps up, grinning. She reaches out and pokes the end of a crescent moon pin into Asano's collar.

"Haya," Asano starts. 

"We made merch," she says. "Iiya's dad's company could get them done on short notice - aren't they pretty! It's a mini fundraiser! We'll donate the money to the council." 

"Thank you, Haya," Asano says. "I appreciate that."

"I want new chairs in the student lounge," she beams. "I don't like the current faux leather." Message imparted she saunters away. Asano unpins the moon from his collar and slips it into his pocket.

Anaya skips up. She pushes a thermos into his hand. "My mom's new blend," she says, "I say this without hyperbole that it is the _best_." She pauses. "What do you say about an advertising stint? Coffee for some word among the students?" 

Asano takes a aniff of the coffee and sighs. "Consider it done."

"You're the best, 'San," Anaya grins at him. "Keep the thermos." 

Kotya is practically walking on clouds. "I asked my uncle about the moon supercreature in relation to his job," he's singing, "he told me to never talk about it again!"

"Very nice," Asano nods. "There's a lead there we can add to the Board. Thank you for your effort. Try this coffee."

\--

The weekly assembly commences. Now standing with 3-E, there is Karasuma-sensei, their supposed homeroom teacher. Next to him is their new languages teacher Jelavic-sensei, and to the corner is the unnamed unregistered faculty member, the pale man in the cosplay scholar's robe, with tentacle arms and a large round head and a smile showing too many teeth to be human.

Discreetly, because nobody is supposed to use their phones during assembly, the forum Board dings with updates.

"That is so the moon destroying supercreature," Araki says.

Asano lets out a long-suffering sigh. "Yep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly all this OC talk is making me curious of OCs in general. I think most fandom creators end up having an OC or two (may or may not be self-indulgent/self-inserts) and I have yet to have any - or at least I think so? I'm sure I do imbue the characteristics of myself and people I do know in real life into the way i depict the canon kids. I think my avoidance of main character OCs is partially due to the initial age of early self-insert fanfics (no offense but you know the ones i mean, my name is ebony dementia way and I got sold to one direction kind of fics) - so I tend to be dissuaded from reading fics I know there is a non-canon main OC, but I mean I've read brilliant oc-centered fics before. I'm oscillating between two fields.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have a tiny bit of casual, back-and-forth with the main campus kids. They're still in shock, still in the assembly, at ready to drop conspiracy theories the moment they're allowed to use their phones again.

"I'm not gay," Shun is saying, "but that Karasuma-sensei is kinda hot."

Kiyoko turns around to squint at him. "The moon destroyer?"

"What? No! The man in black," Shun says, pauses, "oh my god, men in black. Maybe the military sent him to handle the alien."

Kiyoko snickers. "What? Be it's keeper? Why is the supercreature hanging out with 3-E, anyways, and dressed so fucking weirdly?"

"Remember the video?" Shun says. "It said it was working here."

They turn to the stage. Araki is listing the announcements on the microphone, and there's the briefest of pause where he turns to the side of the stage for instruction. They know he's looking at Asano. Shun and Kiyoko are unable to see the response from their vantage point but Asano must have issued a no-change order, because Araki slips back into standard operation and starts mocking 3-E.

Then Yana checks her phone and leans back. "Boss says pretend everything is normal." 

"Yes, class pres," Shun whispers back, "no immediate danger of the school blowing up?"

The three of them glance over at 3-E, all scowling at the jabs thrown at them. Their teachers look displeased.

"Hope not," Yana says.

\--

"He has a tie with the crescent moon on it," Sakakibara says in awe, "like, I can appreciate the symbolism in the stylistic choices but-"

"He's 3 meters tall," Tanaka says. "The tie is… a cool easter egg, I guess, but he's fucking three meters tall. Is that supposed to be an actual disguise?"

"Apparently," Sakakibara says. "It's awful."

In front of them, Sasaki elbows Sakakibara and steps on Tanaka's foot. "Asano says you're staring too much," she hisses at the both of them. "Look straight."

"Are we supposed to not stare?" Tanaka mumbles under his breath, but Sakakibara has already loyally straightened up and is looking forward with a comical seriousness. In his opinion it would look weird if they _didn't_ stare, anyhow, given that 3-E is and always will be the center of attention, especially now with the moon supercreature, but whatever. There would be plenty of Board pictures larer. 

\--

"How come 3-E gets to have hot teachers?!" Yuna whines, gripping onto Yuu's arm. "That's no fair." 

"You're 15 years old, you don't stand a chance," Yuu pats her head commiseratingly. "Just google hot girl pics."

\--

"They're trying to stab each other," Hosu whispers to Guro. "Are you seeing that?"

"Stop looking," Guro whispers back.

"She has a knife."

"We're supposed to pretend everything is normal."

"She has a fucking knife, Hosu. That's not normal."

"That's why we _pretend_." 

"Stop talking, both of you," Yuki says.

"But Principal always says the same damn thing," Hosu groans softly. "Blah blah study hard blah blah. If it was something important Asano would tell us-"

"Shh!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sure, the concept depicted in canon of the whole of Kunugigaoka being mindless subjects of the Principal's nefarious ideology is good and all but consider this: they know he's full of shit. But if Gakuhou fucking Asano came up to you and said "laugh at 3-E", you laughed at 3-E. "Man I feel kind of bad for 3-E but??? I still want to live." Clearly the only logical route to go is to stand behind the one person your super scary principal would (theoretically) never truly do anything terrible to, right? Mini Asano is kind of terrifying as well but he seems to share the sentiment that his dad is being over the top about all of this, and he'd help you solve a math problem if you were stuck at one, so you like him well enough.
> 
> 3-E, probably: they all think we're outcasts and weirdos :(  
> Kunugigaoka: what the fuck is going on


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a teeny tiny bit chapter addition because I'm sick of typing "the moon destroying octopus" the entire time.#moving the plot because of laziness.

Asano decides to host a student council meeting. He doesn't even have anything in particular to talk about. 

"What are you going to talk about?" Sakakibara asks.

Asano glances to his right. There's a window. "Transparency," he says.

"Huh?" 

"Transparency of all matters pertaining to the school, on the classes parts and of the councils'." He gives Sakakibara a sharp grin. "There shouldn't be any important secrets kept lest it affects the school reputation and progress, should there be? Kunugigaoka is one big family, after all." 

"Oh, oh!" Seo crows. "You'll make 3-E squirm! You're a genius, boss."

"We do all pledge to be open about any school matters," Araki says breezily. "We shouldn't expect any different from class 3-E."

There's a pause.

"What else are we going to do?" Koyama says. "Now that we know that… er… the moon destroying octopus is hanging around 3-E for some reason?"

The virtuosos turn to Asano.

"We shall reconvene on the matter," he says. Translation: I'm not sure either.

“Hmm,” Sakakibara says.

There’s another pause.

“Nothing, for now,” Asano says, tapping his chin. “It’s supposed to be a secret. The principal and the military are involved with it and it’s the creature that _blew up the moon_ after all, it’s certainly a big deal. If they find out the bulk of the school knows there’s bound to be complications and mass panic.”

“Got it,” Araki says. He already has his phone out.

“We can still laugh at 3-E, right?” Koyama says. “And the government, for being terrible secret keepers.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Asano says, waving a hand. 

\--

The student council meeting goes off without a hitch, that is to say that everyone of the class representatives spend their time glancing over and giggling at 3-E class representatives Isogai and Kataoka. Luckily for them, it’s no difference to how the main campus treats 3-E, anyways. The twp look distinctly uncomfortable but no more than they do in normal situations, and they would not look like they were keeping an international dangerous secret if it weren’t so _painfully obvious_ anytime else.

Asano concludes a spiel on a school wide feedback system - for transparency and ease of communications, of course - and the class representatives chorus affirmatives. He turns to Isogai and Kataoka. “Your class is a particular case, after all, given that your location is rather detached from the rest of us, it would be harder for us to follow up and keep updated on your class. I hear your homeroom teacher has to submit a biweekly progress report to the principal. If it’s not too much trouble, you could consider forwarding that information to the council as well for a more professional overview.”

"Oh," Isogai says, "okay, yeah, we'll discuss that with Koro-sensei. It should be fine."

"Koro-sensei?" Asano furrows his brows. "Who's that?"

Isogai and Kataoka exchange a panicked look. "Uh," Kataoka says slowly, "our… homeroom teacher."

Their homeroom teacher? Wasn’t it Karasuma-sensei - oh fucking hell, they must be kidding. The octopus? The octopus is their homeroom teacher? They named their octopus teacher Koro-sensei? Asano exchanges a perplexed glance with Sakakibara, who has a hand over his mouth trying not to laugh. It seems like the rest of the meeting members have caught on about who Koro-sensei was referring to and were giggling to themselves. "I thought Karasuma-sensei was your homeroom teacher," Asano says smoothly.

Isogai and Kataoka look flustered. "It's his nickname!" Isogai blurts, and Kataoka looks like she wishes to die on the spot. "He let us give him a nickname so we would bond closer to him as a class!" 

"Of course," Asano says. "But I will continue to address your homeroom teacher as Karasuma-sensei, as the rest of us would, since we are not given that privilege."

"Yes, that's great," Isogai says, sagging with relief. "Yes!"

\--

"Koro-sensei?" Watanabe says. "Koro... like unkillable? Their teacher's fake name is unkillable teacher?"

"I never said it was a good name," Asano said.

"We're supposed to say Koro-sensei on all school documents and meetings and pretend it's the name of a real human being?" 

"Yes," Asano says firmly. He raises a hand to rub at his temples as Sato loses his shit. "This is going to be a terrible year."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get me wrong, the main campus is still mean - they still spent months looking down on 3-E and bullying them. I won't take that experience away, but they're all kids and we can't say that their attitudes were because of a true terrible nature in their hearts. They would have been 13 years old when they entered that school, that's insane, and following Asano Senior's regime would leave them mean-spirited, more so than most kids their age. 
> 
> Now that main campus knows, this fic isn't going to follow canon in the strictest sense, but I would like to touch on some of the events that 3-E and Main end up interacting in, and maybe a little bit more. I haven't decided how far things would variate yet but I have a... rough idea, I suppose?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be fooled by regular updates. I pretty much pre-wrote chapters HAHA (like how youtubers pre-film stuff. I'm not trying too hard to keep up with any arbitrary non-monetary deadlines for fandom work, it's my past-time so I typically spam-write when I'm in a leisurely mood. This fic is a result of one of those times.) I'm in the middle of crunch season at college and there are so many upcoming deadlines!! I hate this!! I also did crunches the other day in an attempt to be healthy and my non-existent abs still hurt.

The first school midterms come and go. The students of Kunugigaoka Middle School congregate at the lone scoresheet board once more, scanning the sea of names for their own. There’s almost a definitive ranking by now, where one could guesstimate their position in the score sheet and instinctively check for that area. The students are vying for improvement as always, but when the rest of the school population is just as motivated and intelligent as you are, your position in the ranking would most likely stay the same.

Of course, the students flitting in and out of 3-E would be an exception. You weren’t placed in 3-E on the sole account of your grades, after all, but also how well you adhered to the school’s norms. Principal Asano had a thing for putting the misfits in a little box all of their own. It’s not the best system, but you just had to keep your head down for the final semester of second year enough for the “sorting” to commence, and then you could go back to doing whatever you wanted. The kids weren’t paying for their own school fees, and thus far it was a system that _worked._

Of course things fell into place rather quickly after the sorting, that is by virtue of being in class 3-E, regardless of their previous aptitude the 3-E students would begin to fall behind - like how Isogai and Nakamura, previous C class students, were already in the last 50 when they would have stood a chance of playing top 100 last year. It was theorized to be the ostracization and the lack of resources that went into education of the lowest class.

Frowning at the scoreboard, Araki snapped quick pictures of the rankings and forwarded them to the class representatives group. It’s not so much for the other representatives than for 3-E, who would take ages to get down from the mountain. There's a tad bit of sympathetic sentiments circulating around main campus for 3-E.

Especially now that they apparently had a moon destroying supercreature for a homeroom teacher.

"Is Koro-sensei going to destroy them for failing?" Anaya asks, leaning over her desk to mess at Yuu's hair. 

"He probably knew he was taking on the worst class when he started," Sakakibara points out. "Surely he wouldn't expect them to place high."

"True," Anaya says. "Why do you think he's taking on 3-E anyways?" 

"I know," Watanabe says, whipping around so fast she almost whacked Asano with her ponytail if he hadn't stepped out of the way. The classroom board is covered in scribbles. "See, our hypothesis is that Koro-sensei is a government experiment, right? And he was experimented on in Yanagisawa's lab, after which he broke out and killed all the laboratory staff, including the previous 3-E teacher Yukimura-sensei. Since everyone else worked full-time in the lab, there was no issue, but Yukimura-sensei held two jobs, so her death left a convenient job opening that he quickly filled up. And Miss Akari Yukimura followed him here to make sure he's not soiling her sister's legacy."

They blink at her.

"But…" Anaya says, "what about the moon? Why would he destroy it? And why would he even need a job in the first place?" 

Watanabe snaps her fingers with a flourish. "I don't know!"

"...Right," Sato says. 

\--

“3-E is going on a separate route in the field trip to Kyoto?” Sakakibara and Tanaka plop down on either side of Asano, both staring at him with wide eyes. “Why? How are we supposed to spy on them?”

“Why the hell are you asking me?" Asano sniffs. "I don’t plan field trips for 3-E.”

Ruikyo appears over Sakakibara’s shoulder. “You don’t think it’s a little fishy? A teeny bit suspicious? The fact that 3-E gets to go on an _exclusive_ field trip that deviates from the normal field trip that the history of Kunugigaoka has traveled so far?”

“My guess,” Watanabe says, popping up from behind Takana, “is that their homeroom teacher, dear old octopus moon-destroyer Koro-sensei, wanted to join the field trip. But he's a giant octopus, so he demanded a separate route so he could be his true octopus self, and he threatened to blow up the school until Principal Asano agreed!”

The others stare at her. “I think that’s even more unlikely than your hypothesis about Koro-sensei and Yukimura-sensei being long lost lovers,” Sato tells her.

“It’s romantic!” Rukiyo insists.

“It’s weird,” Tanaka wrinkles his nose.

“You’re the one to talk about weird,” Watanabe huffs. 

“He’s a giant yellow octopus,” Takana points out. “I doubt Yukimura-sensei was looking for that in a romantic partner.”

“Well he was human once, right?” Watanabe says. “Before the experiment turned him into a yellow octopus. He knows how human things work and everything. Maybe he was super hot as a human and they met in the lab and fell in love!”

“Oh!” Rukiyo pulls out her phone. “Speaking of human Koro-sensei! I think there’s some fanart of it.”

“Please take this conversation elsewhere,” Asano says.

“Aww, Asano,” Rukiyo says. “Don’t you want to see Koro-sensei fanart?”

“Not particularly,” Asano says, and Rukiyo thrusts her phone in his face.

“That’s just a picture of the Principal,” Asano says.

“Well if any human was capable of being a moon destroying supercreature in disguise, who else could it be?” Rukiyo says.

Asano snickers. “I’d give you that.”

“Oh, this one,” Rukiyo says. 

“That’s a picture of Yukimura-sensei,” Asano says.

“Maybe she was the one that got turned into the octopus and then came back to teach her class!” Watanabe says. “Oh! I’ll put that on the board!”

“Now that,” Sakakibara says, “is a better theory than the lovers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, the plot thickens. Well not really, because we all know what's going to happen. So the plot only seemingly thickens. 
> 
> I don't know about you guys but honestly some of the 3-E kids would be terrifying to hang around, if I was a normal middle school student looking to get grades I'd be wary of them too. Like I won't even comment on Karma. Nagisa is a CUTIE and I love him but pretty much everybody who meets him canonically get serial killer "snake aura" vibes from the kid. Imagine meeting him in real life. Imagine meeting Terasaka, man. His whole backstory was that he bullied people he thought were nerds and guess what? So am I! I'm running for my life from him! I love the girls as well but Nakamura and Kanzaki's whole deals were that they were sick of being smart and decided to "act stupid"??? I would HATE working with them in a group project. "I don't care about your aesthetic I want my A." 
> 
> I still love them. Don't @ me, they're all wonderful people with their own relevant rationales and awesome character development. But c'mon, man. Karma's my best boy and his intro was "wow, he beats people up for fun! So cool! But he has no friends :(" yeah I wonder WHY


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my... (checks notes) five day hiatus. Six? I can't count. Did you miss me? It's okay if you didn't.
> 
> Also skyestar7703 pointed out that the entire school did go on the Kyoto trip (thank you <3), but I wrote in the previous chapter that only 3-E went. I edited the dialogue a bit! The reason I made that mistake is because frankly I was too lazy to fact-check. My knowledge of assclass in the context of this fic is derived from the wikipedia list of assassination classroom chapters, don't @ me.

“There’s a new transfer student in 3-E now.”

“Is there?” The 3-A students turn towards Asano. He’s frowning at his phone. 

“Yes, the school records were just updated. Her name is... Ritsu.”

“Ritsu?” Seo says. “Just Ritsu?”

“She’s foreign. From Norway.”

“Is she cute?” Sakakibara says.

Asano gives him a dirty look, then frowns down at his phone. “Yes,” he admits.

“Show us!” Yuna demands.

Asano sighs. He loads up a picture and holds it out to the class of sharks, a pretty girl with striking scarlet eyes and light purple hair.

“Oh my god,” Jin says. “She’s a reverse Asano.”

The class screams. Amidst the cacophony, Asano touches his hair lightly with a slightly befuddled look. “My hair is not red,” he says quietly.

“Do you think we’ll get to see her?!” Yuna says, latching onto Sakakibara’s shirt. “Oh my god, I want to meet her.”

“Maybe we’ll see her during assembly,” Sakakibara says, just as eagerly. 

\--

They do not see her during assembly. Sakakibara, Yuna and the other students who have seen Ritsu’s school profile picture are disappointed. The former two have coerced Asano to post said picture on the Board, or rather Yuna had tried to coax Asano to post it on the board and Sakakibara had just made a swift swipe of the phone and posted it before Asano had kicked him over the head.

“All of you are annoying!” Asano snaps, at the whining crowd trailing at his feet. “If you want to see the new girl so bad, go up to 3-E to find her!” He storms off, seemingly to do more student council work, or studying, or possibly even demon summing rituals - also known as calling his father. The habits of the Asanos are a mystery to all. 

“Oh my god you’re right,” Yuna says. “We need an expert. Someone who’s gone up the hill to class 3-E before.”

\--

“I don’t want to go back up that hill,” Toro says. “It’s weird and creepy.”

“Listen,” Sakakibara says for the fourth time, “it’s important.”

“It’s one cute girl,” Toro rolls his eyes. “There are plenty of cute girls down here, where it’s safe.”

“It’s not just for cute girls, it’s for _research_ ,” Sakakibara stresses. “Hey, hey- Toro! Come back!”

\--

“There are snakes on the hill,” Rukiyo lists, counting off her fingers. “Cockroaches, rats, spiders, I thought I saw a wild hog but I couldn’t be sure, it was gone really quickly. The path is terrible and worn down from footsteps rather than paved, but there are still potholes and dips and everything. It’s more of a nature trek - a hiking trail - than just a walk up a classroom, you know that, right? Honestly I don’t know how the 3-E kids do it.”

“We do,” Anaya says, “but it’s doable, right? Since the 3-E kids walk up and down tons. And you’ve been up there. You know what it’s like.”

“It was a terrible experience,” Rukiyo sighs. 

“But we need a guide!” Watanabe says. “Sakakibara is trying to convince Toro. Please please please?”

“Oh I’m definitely coming,” Rukiyo says. “That was just a warning. You can’t leave me out. I’ll get Toro to come.”

\--

Toro comes, very begrudgingly. Rukiyo's methods of persuasion are unknown. The other past participant in the initial hill scaling, Tsubara, is the current proud owner of a sprained ankle after attempting a triple backflip at the school gates. An ankle sprain, he says, is the height of luck, as he could have 1. suffered worse and 2. be otherwise made to go up the hill again.

The height of luck, as Sakakibara and Yuna are concerned, is the top of the 3-E hill. They have to tread with caution, however, because this is a non-Asano approved venture which means any trouble spilled would have to be mopped up by themselves. Ergo, any punishments dealt in full by the Principal or otherwise shall be theirs and their burden alone, and Asano would still chew them out after. It's a small risk, all things considered. 

"For cute girls!" Yuna screams. A worthy battle cry.

"Can you bring us to the shrine?" Watanabe says. "You saw a shrine, right? Can you bring us to it?"

"Sure," Rukiyo says. "It's a little out of the way from the main path."

They're all dressed in sports footwear and armed with camping equipment as they attempt the trek. Over-prepared? Sure, but better safe than sorry. Asano had laughed at them on his way to the Principal's office, and Sakakibara had laughed back. Then ducked as a book sailed over where his head would have been. There they went after school hours the group of seven adventurers, set off on the quest - Rukiyo, Toro, Sakakibara, Yuna, Watanabe, Tanaka and Anaya.

\--

"This is a terrible idea," Tanaka sincerely says, who embarked on this quest at the fervent urging of Sakakibara and has currently found himself hung upside down with a primitive hunting rope snare dangling him from his ankle halfway up a tree. Below him, the camaraderie panics.

"Why is there a rope trap in the middle of the forest?!" Anaya screams.

"The principal uses it to trap trespassers!" Sakakibara sobs.

"This wasn't there the last time we came by," Toro says. "Did we just get really lucky?"

"I say it's a recent addition," Watanabe says, "with the supercreature and military and everything, security needs to be upped!"

"With a rope snare?!"

"I got it," Rukiyo says. She scales the tree seemingly effortlessly and pulls out her outdoor hunting knife - which was useful, take that, Asano! - Tanaka twists upwards and grabs onto the rope, Rukiyo cuts it, and Tanaka falls the rest of the way and lands on Sakakibara.

"I don't want to say Asano was right about this being a terrible idea," Tanaka says.

"Then don't," Sakakibara groans. "I'd admit nothing to that boy. His ego is big enough as it is. What do you eat?! I can't feel my arms."

The journey continues uphill, this time with far more wariness, and there's an unanimous consent to not stray from the path in case of any further booby traps. The 3-E classroom sits unassumingly at a clearing at the top of the hill, making a picturesque environment if not for- "-are those target boards? Are those _bullet holes_ in the target boards?!"

"I wouldn't want to piss whoever this is off," Toro says. He jabs a thumb towards a particular target with multiple bullet holes riddled through the bullseye.

"3-E has a… shooting club?!" Anaya says, distressed. "Do we even have a shooting club on Main?!"

"No," Sakakibara says, looking slightly haunted.

"Man, let’s get out of here," Tanaka says.

"Let's snoop for clues in the building," Watanabe interjects. 

They creep around the walls of the 3-E building, but the doors and windows are locked. “It’s probably to prevent animals from coming in,” Sakakibara points out, “if they were more concerned about privacy, they would keep the… uh… target boards. Or get curtains.” The windows are large and provide a clear view of what seems to be a rather normal classroom, desks neatly arranged in rows, chairs pushed in. The blackboard is clean save for the date at the corner and what looks like a timetable of sorts, but it’s placed at the far end of the classroom such that the contents could not be discerned from the window. 

“What’s that?” Anaya says, face pressed to the window. At the back corner of the classroom, there is a giant black box with a television screen mounted in, taking up most of the front. 

“A projector screen?” Toro says. “Since they don’t have the ones we do at Main.”

“Wouldn’t it be at the front of the class, then?” Sakakibara says. “It seems very heavy to move as and when needed.”

“I’ve never seen a vertical TV before,” Rukiyo says. “Kind of weird, isn’t it? There aren;t wires coming out of it either.”

“There are words at the side,” Yuna says. She squints. “I don’t know what language it is in.”

“Take a picture,” Watanabe urges. “And of the target boards, too.”

“I wanted to see Ritsu!” Yuna complains.

“We came here after school hours, you were never going to see her.”

“I was hoping there would be a class photo or something,” Yuna says glumly. She snaps a picture of the strange television. “3-E’s classroom isn’t even that weird. There’s just this TV.”

“Post the pictures on the Board,” Tanaka says. “See if anyone can translate it.”

“Let’s go,” Watanabe says, disappointed, “there’s nothing else to see here.”

“We should get someone who can pick locks,” Rukiyo says. 

“Asano,” Sakakibara says immediately. 

“Asano can pick locks?” 

“I’ve never seen him do it, but he says he can,” Sakakibara shrugs, “He said his dad used to lock him out of the house so he learnt to… pick locks...”

“Man, that’s all kinds of fucked up.”

“Yeah, but he says he doesn’t do it anymore! Well, mostly because it’s ineffective…”

“That makes it 0 times better.”

“Well Asano seems… okay about it…”

“Asano is also all kinds of fucked up.”

“Fair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot longer than the previous ones so far mostly because while I did want to split it in two, it was odd and it seemed to go more seamlessly altogether anyways. Writing a long-ass chapter isn't the reason I disappeared for a-short-time-but-longer-than-usual-for-me, but you have it anyways. Can you believe we are already 9 episodes into assclass?
> 
> I have an unhealthy obsession with Gakushuu Asano, honestly. I love him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are MOVING through the episodes babey! 
> 
> Asano is bi, don't @ me

“There’s a second transfer student,” Asano says, “in 3-E. Whatever they’re doing, they’re packing in the artillery.”

“Oh? Oh!” Yuna jumps out of her seat. “Is this one cute too?!”

‘Yeah,” Asano says absently, then falters. His phone is immediately snatched out of his hands by an eager Sakakibara, who sags in disappointment.

“It’s a boy,” he says. The other girls look marginally more interested then, save for Yuna who snaps her fingers with a pout.

Asano coughs, and swipes his phone back. “His name is Itona Horibe.”

“Horibe!” Chika says. “I know that name! Horibe Electronics was a tech company that when bankrupt like five years ago!” She taps something out on her phone and pulls out a picture of a wiry, light haired man, and Asano puts it next to Horibe’s student picture - a mousy boy with citrine eyes and light blue hair.

“They look similar,” Seo says. “Father and son?”

“They both look unhinged,” Yuu says.

“Why can’t any of the 3-E kids ever wear the school uniform?” Tanaka complains. “Is that so much to ask for?! If we have to wear the stupid unfashionable grey drab they have to, too!” Itona’s school picture in question has him in a fur scarf, a red turtleneck, and for some inexplicable reason the school jacket, as if it made things better.

“Five dollars say we won’t even catch a single glimpse of him,” Yuu says.

“Not taking that bet.”

\--

“So here’s the information we have so far,” Watanabe says, laying it out on the board in the council room. “3-E has added two exchange students in a short period of time. Itona Horibe is the son of the disgraced, bankrupt CEO of Horibe Electronics, and Ritsu is foreign but we are unable to find more confirmed facts about her. We can consider Akari Yukimura to be an addition, although she has a more relevant link to the case than the other two possess.”

“3-E practice shooting,” Rukiyo tacks on. “They have set aside enough space for a class activity, so it’s not simply one or two people in the class. It seems like some of them are getting good at it, too, and the two theories are that it’s either a recreational activity of sorts, or they’re being taught, which doesn’t… make sense.”

“They also have a giant vertical television at the back of their classroom,” Sakakibara says. “It doesn’t seem like it’s for any educational purpose. There are words written on the side panel, apparently in Norwegian. They’re just warning signs - flammable, side panel opens, high voltage.”

Watanabe snaps her fingers at that. “Ritsu is from Norway, which is a connection there we can make. Maybe the television is hers. Why would she bring a television to the class? I don’t know-”

“Wait,” Asano says, narrowing his eyes. “Can you pull up the picture of the classroom again?”

“Um, sure,” Anaya says. “Here.”

Asano is silent for a bit, staring at her phone. There’s a beat of silence as he thinks, and everyone waits. “Did you figure something out?” Araki says.

“This picture was taken of the 3-E classroom six days after Ritsu was had officially joined the class as a student, which brings the total number of students at that particular point in time to 27. There are only 26 chairs in this classroom.”

“I…” Watanabe frowns. “Huh.”

“Maybe they moved it outside?” Koyama says, but he sounds unconvinced.

“But taking up that part of the classroom in place of a table and chair is that television set,” Rukiyo says slowly, “from Norway. Where Ritsu is supposedly from…”

“No way,” Sato says loudly. “No way in hell. You’re not saying what I think you’re saying.”

“Ritsu isn’t a person, Ritsu is the name of that television set,” Asano blurts. Blinks at himself, glares down at the phone, and then rubs the space between his eyes. “I think I need some sleep.” 

“B-but,” Yuna says, “the girl!?”

“We have to prove Ritsu is a real person,” Sakakibara says. “Or die trying-”

Rukiyo slams her hands on the table. “Ritsu is a japanese name! Why would a girl from Norway have a Japanese name?! She would be fucking Norwegian! Why wouldn’t she have a fucking last name?!”

“I don’t know!” Watanabe wails. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone says anything i DID do research okay? By research I watched anime episode 10 and got a very nice shot of the camera panning through the classroom (occurs in the first 10 minutes of the episode because I didn't watch beyond that) AND there were just enough chairs for the students, so Hah. Which doesn't explain how Itona could have busted down the wall and walked into an empty damn seat on the first day of class. To be fair he was in the classroom for like, a whole minute before he tried to murder Korosensei so he didn't need a seat, and Karasuma probably added a table after.
> 
> (Also Introducing one of my ridiculous crack ships, ItonaxGakushuu. This ship doesn't exist in this fic BUT I couldn't resist adding a teeny bit in for my own heart 😌 for those who never heard of this ship (because it's fucking weird) I mentioned it the first ever time in a crack multichapter series where [Shuu, Itona and Irina Jelavic travel back in fucking time to save Koro-sensei in an alternate timeline.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19010251) It sounds as ridiculous typing this out than I was while writing it last year. And I brought them up again in [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21194267) because I love them. You didn't ask for this information, moving on.)
> 
> My [Tumblr](https://gwendeeagain.tumblr.com/post/611992855883497472/im-writing-this-assclass-fic-where-the-main) which I'm plugging mostly because I made a stupid post about this fic but the picture quality sucks :(


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is episode 12, where the kids play baseball!
> 
> I rewatched the episode and it struck me super weird that there was apparently a whole baseball tournament type thing with the whole school (I thought it was just 3-E versus the baseball team), like who green-lit that? Does anyone not remember the one glimpse of physical activity we saw the main campus do in which during the pole-toppling tournament, 3-A were so useless that Gakushuu Asano made his american football friends come in.  
> I absolutely REFUSE to believe that the main campus kids are ready to drop and get the ball rolling at all times. In a normal school you know there's only one group of kids super into exercise and the main bulk of students like "ughhh". Imagine. Imagine if your eccentric principal launched a sports festival day on you. This isn't even the sports festival episode.
> 
> I feel like you can guess where this chapter is going with this.

“A friendly inter class baseball match? Where did that come from?”

“I don’t want a friendly inter-class baseball match,” Shun says. “Why do we have a friendly inter-class baseball match in the first place? Everyone knows the main event is just 3-E against the whole baseball school team for the exhibition match! Which, I might add, is neither fair, friendly nor inter-class.”

“Ask Shindo,” Guro says. “He’s the one who talked to Sugino about baseball the other day. I saw them at the training pitches. And this competition is proposed the next day? That’s highly suspicious.”

“You’re missing the point,” Yana says, handing out the flyers. “It’s not just about 3-E, okay? The whole cohort is involved. It may be a new initiative but it would be fun!”

“This whole 3-E spectacle is blinding us to the normal happenings of life,” Yuki says. “If we didn’t know weird shit was going on, an impromptu event like this is just up the principal’s alley.”

“Speaking of the principal,” Hosu says, “how’s junior doing?”

“It’s a fucking logistical nightmare!” Yana says brightly. “Now all the class reps have to do is to move tons of school events around, clear all our schedules, assign teams and make sure we are all prepped up and ready to go for a random baseball game on the Principal’s whim and fight for the baseball pitch as every class does the same thing - which, by the way, our training days are Tuesdays.” She drops the flyers on a table with a loud bang. “Other than Tsai, does anyone in this class even know how to play baseball?”

Nobody says a word.

“Love this fucking school,” she mutters.

\--

“Asano, when did you learn to play baseball?”

“I got really good at learning to hit things that are flying at my face, with a stick,” Asano says. “Uh, personal experience. For the last time, Koyama, that is not how you hold a baseball bat.”

“Do I look like I have held a single baseball bat in my life?!” Koyama shrieks. 

“Right,” Asano mutters. “Jirou, how is your class doing?”

“Excluding the five baseball team members in B,” he says, “nobody else fucking knows how to play baseball!”

Behind them, Saki walks past, waving his hands dramatically. “I didn’t know we were suddenly a sports school,” he says, “Kunugigaoka Sports Junior High! Yippie!”

“I have a math assignment due tomorrow,” Jirou says sadly. “Can I just be a spectator?”

“One more week,” Asano says. “One more week of this and- OW! Does the back of my head look like third base to you?!”

“Sorry! Also, what’s third base?”

\--

The day of the inter class games commence. There is a lot of fumbling, laughing, and generally bad baseball playing altogether, but it’s clear that the actual inter-class games aren’t the highlight of the day. The Principal and half the teachers don’t even show up for those. The sports kids have come up with their own game where they attempt to hit the ball as far as possible, which is probably not quite the rules of the actual sport. Sometime in the third match bunch of ping pong balls are thrown into the arena, and a point system is generated based on how many of Asano’s math questions the players can answer while simultaneously on the pitch.

3-A is the clear winner, but to be fair, they’re also better than math.

“The exhibition match is slated to start soon!” Araki announces, and the students scramble to clear the pitch and make it spic and span before the Principal arrives with the official school baseball team and their coach. They look rather nervous, which the teachers seem rather displeased at, but to be fair the kids know that 3-E has an octopus supercreature on their side. The 3-E boys are already there, looking rather determined between them. The girls are off in their own exhibition match against the school volleyball team, and most things seem in normal and in place, except-

"-and it's supposed to be an international secret? Are you sure?" Tsubara leans over, tapping Mako on the shoulder. "There's a giant head poking out of the ground talking to them _right now_." Said giant head is - as measured in real time by one of the students - the same diameter of the octopus supercreature’s giant head, but somehow painted in the same design as a large white baseball. Why a giant baseball seemed like it would blend in poking out of the field at a baseball match instead of, say, a patch of grass is beyond comprehension. The fact that it has a moving mouth doesn’t help matters.

"Don't stare so much," Mako says, "you're going to draw attention."

"Oh _I'm_ drawing attention-"

"If I can pretend to ignore my parents' poorly hidden kinky bondage gear every time I walk past their room, you can ignore a giant head for one baseball game."

"Gross," Tsubara says, wrinkling his nose. 

"Now shush," Mako says. "It's 3-E's turn to… throw the ball thing." 

"You don't know a single thing about baseball," Tsubara marvels. "Why are you here?" 

"We're fucking spectators, not the school team, of course I know nothing about baseball. No one here knows anything about baseball. If Asano didn't ask me to come 'make a ruckus'," Mako says with air quotes, "I wouldn't be here."

"Asano didn't ask _me_ to come," Tsubara says, offended.

"You're here because you have a stupid crush on Sato, he knew you'll come anyways."

\--

At some point in the game, 3-E starts scoring ahead of the school team. It’s an exciting match to watch and the forum blows up - the main explanations revolve around 3-E’s physical fitness from having to hike up and down a hill daily, and their sharpshooting training, however strange or unconfirmed it may be. They’re on par with the _school team_ , damn god, and Sugino is the only baseball player among them.

“Oh dear god,” Asano says in horror, as the spectator stands watch the principal saunter over to speak to the baseball team like he thinks he knows too much, no doubt about their failure. When they disperse back onto the field, they all look shaken. 

“Why is your dad - sorry, the principal scarier than the moon destroyer?” Sakakibara says, gripping onto Asano’s arm. 

“Get your paws off me,” Asano says, batting at Sakakibara. From the reserve bench, Fuka shrugs helplessly in their direction, and cowers as the Principal stares at him. 

“We are losing,” Asano says bitterly. He’s right, because 3-E... well, whatever 3-E was doing would have made many many people mad if this wasn’t a school match. It’s in no way any acceptable play style of baseball but 3-E never went by the book, anyways, and there was probably no way they could win if they did, despite the improvements they have obviously made. Araki announces the results with a flourish, the Principal gets up wordlessly and walks off, and the baseball team collapses against the banister in relief. They’ve been spared.

“What the hell did he say to you guys?” Tsubara is one of the people there immediately, joining the other students in clamoring over the players in earnestness. There are questions thrown about asking if anyone got close enough to the supercreature’s baseball head, if 3-E dropped any secrets, if they saw the new exchange student Horibe. There's word from the girls that Ritsu failed to show in the exhibition volleyball match.

“Something along the lines of, ‘if you don’t win, you are a disgrace and should be dropped from the school team’,” Sato says. “It was very scary. How is your ankle doing?”

“Oh, it’s…” Tsubara turns a little pink. “Fine. You played very well. You know, aside from 3-E being all weird on the field.”

“Thanks! You know, I didn’t think 3-E would actually know baseball but they’re actually not that bad,” Sato says, before he’s abruptly pulled away by his teammates and Tsubara gets manhandled out of the crowd, where he sees Sugino and Shindo mid-conversation, the 3-E kids watching from a distance. He attempts a wave, and with a very perplexed look on his face, Isogai waves back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this fic lasted as long as it did, honestly. The OCs are a hassle, yes, and honestly I'm also having a bit of difficulty keeping up with them but that's because I want consistency and i don't want to keep making up a new person whenever I want extras in the background. Hope they're not too bothersome? Since we're so far in I was wondering how are you guys keeping up with them??? 
> 
> I think by now it's sort of easier (?) to keep track as to who is friends and hangs out with who, I hope? Like Watanabe hangs out with Sato, Tanaka and Sakakibara are buds, Yuna is unapologetically lesbian and Yuu is her impulse control, that sort of thing. Although everyone mingles around (if there are about 30 people in each class, there's only 120 people in 3rd year in the main campus excluding 3-E and honestly that's tiny). 
> 
> (In case you're wondering, baseball Sato is the same Sato that Watanabe drags around with her.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just want to say that hope everyone is doing alright in these trying times. It's going to be a real mess of a 2020 and I hope everyone stays safe, healthy and keep your head up! You can always find me on tumblr or discord if you want to!
> 
> We are at season 1 episode 13 now and I can't wait to see how the rest of the story shifts into place.

“Alright,” Asano says, leaning in. “Here’s what I need you to do."

Recap: one fine school day, the kids of class 3-A of Kunugigaoka Middle School main campus are off doing what they normally do, when the classroom door bursts open to reveal their schoolmate 3-D Mako, wide-eyed and panting like he'd just run up a hill.

There are no hills on the main campus. There is one beside it.

"What is it now?" Kunugigaoka Middle School student council president Asano looks up wearily, like he is on the cusp of being interested but couldn't quite summon the energy to be here.

Mako shuts the room door behind him with a soft click. "There's trouble brewing in 3-E," he says.

"When _isn't_ there trouble brewing in 3-E?" Mikasa mutters.

"There's another military man there now," Mako says. "I saw him. He's headed up the hill."

Asano pulls out his phone to check the records. "Akari Takaoka? He's registered as an assistant teacher, not an official one." 

"Say his name again?" Anaya says, tapping on her phone, no doubt to google him. "Ah, here he is. You're right, he's also an air force instructor, similar to our dear Karasuma-sensei here."

"Interesting," Seo says. "More of the military is being called in to deal with the octopus."

"No! Not with the octopus!" Mako shouts, slamming his hands on the table. The students startle. "With the 3-E students!"

"What do you mean?" Asano says.

"My brother is in the air force!" Mako says. "He got Takaoka as an instructor once! I've heard tons of horror stories about him, he's a child abuser! He is, he hits them and yells at them and-!"

"Mako!" Asano yells, and Mako stills. Asano puts a hand on his shoulder. "We'll keep a closer eye on them. The first sign of anything fishy and we'll… I'll figure something out."

"I'll send the news out," Araki says. He's already typing.

Following that is a few days of uneasy quietness as everyone looks over the elephant in the room, wondering if the alleged child abuser would actually hurt the 3-E kids, under the supposed supervision of the military. Until two days later the ball drops and Maehara is spotted coming down the hill with a limp and Kanzaki with an ugly welt on her face, and the 2-B students who saw him ran all the way to the 3-E classroom to report it.

\--

Standing at a conspicuous corner of the corridor, off the side of the routine pathway of the Principal as he makes his rounds, Shun and Takada stand huddled in a corner. “Why are we doing this?” Shun hisses.

“Because Mako had to open his big mouth,” Takada says. But he doesn’t mean that, not really. “Shush!”

Their phones ding in unison, and it’s a text from Yana. “He’s here!”

Shun clears his throat softly, then throws his head back and speaks, wincing a little as his voice rings out loud in the empty corridor. “-and I’m not saying it’s abuse but-”

“It’s a common thing that parents often hit their children in order to scare and spur them into getting good grades,” Takada rattles off, a little too robotically. Shun steps on his foot, and they both exchange panicked looks as the sound of footsteps grow closer in the brief break in speech.

“Asano said his bruises come from sports,” Shun says, and if he listens closely enough there’s a little falter in the otherwise steady rhythm of footsteps.Takada gives him a wide-eyed look, this is where they die. “I mean,” he continues loudly, “he does play a lot of-”

A shadow looms over them, and he whips around. Principal Asano is staring at both of them, a smile frozen on his face a little too insincerely. He’s standing a little too close for his quick appearance, Takada hadn’t noticed him round the corridor. How was he so fast?

“Um,” Takada says.

Shun straightens up comically quickly. “Hi principal Asano!” He says, way too cheery. He doesn’t even have to fake the nerves in his stomach, the impending feeling of death was all too real.

“Takada, Shun,” Principal Asano greets. “How are you two doing?”

He doesn’t really care about their well-being at all. They’ll be dead soon anyways. 

“We weren’t talking about Asano!” Takada blurts, which is the correct response. Shun steps on his foot again anyways, but he’s secretly grateful because that means he doesn’t have to be the one to bring it up.

Principal Asano’s face, if possible, darkens a little more. “Oh?” He says.

“Uh-huh,” Takada says quickly, “we don’t think you- ow!” 

Shun has slapped him. They were edging into forbidden territory, they had to stay on course. ”We were talking about Kanzaki,” Shun says, “from 3-E. The 2-B kids saw her on their way home yesterday, she had a bruise. We thought… er... “

“Her parents were giving her pressure to improve because she was in the E class,” Takada says in a single breath.

“Of the physical kind,” Shun says.

Principal Asano is silent for a chilling two beats, and then he says, “I see. How considerate of you two to care about your fellow schoolmates.”

Shun and Takada exchange a look. It’s not a compliment, in any case, more like a reminder of where 3-E’s status was supposed to be. 

“We’ve all been there,” is what Shun says.

Principal Asano, for all he seems to be omniscient and unflappable, looks to be thrown off by that, albeit briefly. He frowns but it doesn’t seem directed at the two of them, and then walks off. The moment he rounds the other end of the corridor, Shun and Takada sprint off.

\--

The next day, Asano checks the teacher register again and sees Takaoka removed from the list. “Thank fucking god,” he says, as Mako hugs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No shade to Gakuhou and not implying that he wouldn't have stopped Takaoka of his own accord in canon, but... would he have? Really? Really? Anyways, my version involves the main campus kids finally getting the upper hand in manipulating their principal a teeny bit, so it's way more fun. 
> 
> OC recap (for those who have appeared today)! I think I'll do a teeny bit of this for fun because I'm more invested in keeping up with the lives of the tiny people.  
> Shun is from class 3-D and he debuts in chapter 1 as a previous 2-C member. He has appeared a few times as a background character since then, and he thinks Karasuma is hot.  
> Takada is actually not an OC, but the name of a canon 3-D character who picks on Nagisa with his friend Tanaka (who has yet to appear, Tanaka just happens to be a popular last name and I also used it for one of my 3-A OCs).


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter follows episode 15, which is a fucking hilarious episode for more reasons than one.  
> There's a scene where Shindo very dramatically describes the 5 virtuosos to sugino and 3-E over the phone, for 1. dramatic effect and 2. character introductions, but after watching that scene, why would he do that? He's "introducing" 5 of the most well-known students to 3-E, who aside from Ritsu and Kayano would have known all about them anyways because they've spent the past 2 years with them. There should have been no need for any introductions. 
> 
> This fic is all about taking the not-so-common-sense parts of assclass and making it gwen's brand of common sense, so that's cut out entirely (but still hilarious if you rewatch the episode). BUT because I'm a sucker for Shindo and Sugino's friendship, an on-screen phone call still happens. Yay!

“Finals are coming!” 

“I’m not giving you anymore coffee,” Anaya says. “I don’t think that’s healthy.”

“Anaya,” Asano starts.

“‘San-san, you need some sleep,” she says. “How much did you sleep last night?”

Asano doesn’t answer.

“No coffee,” she says.

“Come on, Asano,” Chika says. “You’ll top the cohort anyways. Give yourself a break, have some ice cream! Does anyone have ice cream?”

“I’m on a diet,” Asano says quietly.

“I got it!” Sakakibara says, head shooting up. “All students have to be present at finals, right? We’ll finally get to see Ritsu and Horibe!”

“I dunno, I kinda like the idea of Ritsu being the television,” Yuu says.

“But she’s too cute!” Yuna says. “It’d be a shame if she wasn’t a real person!”

“Hah!” Koyama says. “Tell that to… hmm... Who was that one guy who was obsessed with television girls? 2-D girls? Anime girls?”

Chika snaps her fingers. “Kotaro Takebayashi. I remember him.”

“Yeah,” Koyama says lamely, “tell that to… him.”

\--

“I was thinking,” Asami says, “what if 3-E fails all the exams again? They failed everything last time.”

“So what if they do?” Suki says. 

“I dunno, I feel kinda bad for them,” Asami says. 

“I mean, kinda same,” Suki says, “s‘not something that can be helped.”

“They’re probably too caught up in the assassination thing,” Juno says. 

“Maybe we should do something,” Asami says. "I don't know, like pass them our old notes." 

There’s a pause. “Why?” Suki blinks. “I mean, no offence, but… I mean, why?”

Asami shrugs. “Dunno. Not like they can score better than us anyways, but I don’t know, feels odd to know that they’re… there, facing some octopus creature doing so much strange physical exercise and not caring about their studies.”

“I actually think they care,” Shindo pipes up. “Sugino was telling me that they’re all working hard to get the best grades, although they’re no longer interested in joining the main campus again.”

“Well that makes sense,” Juno says. “They’re leading way more exciting lives than we are, that’s for sure.” 

"So you're friends with Sugino again?" Suki says. 

"Uh, sorta?" Shindo says. 

"Has he dropped any hints about the weird octopus?" Juno asks eagerly.

"No. He did say his homeroom teacher was helpful in pulling their grades up," Shindo scratches his chin.

“The octopus?” Asami looks interested.

“Well if he was a good teacher, they wouldn’t have trashed the first exams,” Suki points out. “Even the better students started performing worse.”

“We’ll see how this exam goes,” Asami says. 

"Hey, woah," Juno says. "I just got a text from Toro. Turns out 3-E are at the school library."

"Studying?" Suki's eyes widen. "Are they even allowed in the library?"

"I don't..." Asami furrows her brow. "Know? If they're there, then I guess...?"

"I guess Sugino's right," Shindo says, "they're really pulling all the stops this time to pass."

\--

“Are they allowed to be here?”

“I’m pretty sure there aren’t rules explicitly banning them from the library…”

Sakakibara pops up. “What are you guys talking about?” 

“Oh, hey,” Wasai says. “No, we saw the 3-E kids at a reserved table when we were walking in.”

Sakakibara wrinkles his nose. “Are 3-E allowed to be at the library?”

“I dunno,” Kiyoko says. “I… guess? The librarian hasn’t kicked them out yet.”

“Let me check…” Sakakibara mutters, tapping into his phone. “No, Asano says there’s no rule banning them from the library.”

“It’d be weird if they were banned, right?” Wasai says. “I mean, they’re still students here, after all.”

“They can’t use the pool,” Kiyoko reminds her.

“Hey!” Seo comes running up, Koyama and Araki trailing behind him. “Did you know? 3-E are at the library!”

“Asano says they’re not banned,” Sakakibara says, waving his phone.

“Let’s go say hi,” Seo says. 

“What exactly do you mean, by saying hi?” Kiyoko narrows her eyes. “Hope you’re not going over to mess with them. I know you’re still salty Maehara stole your girlfriend.”

“Excuse me!?” Seo snaps, and Sakakibara quickly steps between them, shooting the girls an apologetic look. 

“Sorry. Guys, let’s go.” He drags Seo away, Koyama and Araki following with awkward looks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I think this chapter was more confusing than most? I think you can tell this is not my most coherent work :( Hopefully it picks up again next chapter!
> 
> OC recap:  
> Chika is in A class and the computing club president! She debuts in chapter 2, hosts the Board on her own server, and consequently is aware about past-computing club member Takebayashi.  
> Anaya is also in A class. She debuts in chapter 1! She's the heiress of a coffee empire, which is essentially the life force Asano runs on, and for this privilege is allowed to call Asano San-san, and she does call him 'San one other time in chapter 5.  
> 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are still on Episode 15 but don't worry, we're moving on after this.  
> I did borrow the dialogue from the actual episode (dubbed version) but I didn't use all of it because then this fic would be just repeating canon ad nauseam. I did, however, reframe the dialogue - the Big Four are more cruel in canon and they definitely taunt 3-E more maliciously than portrayed in the fic, but I think it's obvious by now how this fic is meant to portray Main.

“Well look at that! It’s the E-Class crew!” Araki says loudly, snapping Seo and Sakakibara out of their petty squabble. The two straighten up and whip around, as does the students milling around them in the library, eager to watch the confrontation. Not that the bulk of them were focused on their work prior anyways, the 3-E kids were always a spectacle of interest.

“How cute, they’re studying,” Seo sneers, evidently still feeling pissy. Luckily for 3-E, Maehara isn’t with them.

“Hey!” Haruna Mase - Akari Yukimura stands up. “Do you mind?! We’re trying to study.” Up close, she’s much prettier.

“Um, Kayano,” Nagisa says. So the 3-E kids don’t know who she really is, huh. Not a big surprise, considering they’ve been pretty oblivious about the fact that they’re doing a horrible job at keeping a secret. 

“O-oh, what’s this, a bunch of little kids trying to defy their upperclassmen?” Koyama says, which is hilarious, because they’re in the same year. He’s not the most eloquent. Around them, the other students snicker.

Okuda has stood up, firing back at Koyama. Why hasn’t the librarian come and yelled at all of them yet? She must be having an off day. “All of us have the right to good grades! You won’t be saying that when we kick your butt in the finals!”

“Those glasses make you look like a nerd!” Koyama says ever-so tactfully. More of the other students start laughing. Araki taps his own glasses, mildly offended, and he looks over at the surrounding tables. Pretty much everyone has their phones out, three students are filming more discreetly than 3-E has managed to keep their secrets. 

Sakakibara, meanwhile, is pulling the works on Kanzaki. He’s halfway working through a sonnet, apparently having forgotten about social hierarchy. Her face looks like it has healed over nicely. 

\--

“Honestly,” Chika says, from where she has her phone propped on top of her biology books, “I think they’re all absolutely useless without Asano.”

“Speaking of, can we get Kanzaki’s school photo from him?” Tanaka says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“So you can print out many copies and stick them everywhere on Sakakibara’s belongings?” Toro says.

“So I can print out many copies and stick them everywhere on Sakakibara’s belongings,” Tanaka agrees.

“Where is Asano, anyways?” Yuu says.

“He went to see Asano Senior,” Chika says. “I hope he’s alive.”

“He has to be,” Tanaka says. “I don’t think we can let those four roam around unattended without him. No offence to Ren, I like the guy, but he’s an idiot.”

“Why don’t we make a bet?” Araki is saying. “Whichever class scores lower has to do whatever the other class says!”

“Oh, they are dead,” Rukiyo says.

“So dead,” Tsubara echoes.

\--

“Aww, come on, don’t be a wuss!” Seo crows loudly, “where’s that attitude all of a sudden! If you wanted to, we’d even put our lives on the line!”

And then the 3-E kids suddenly snap, like the taunting has gotten to them, when Kanzaki swings her pencil back and almost stabs Sakakibara in the eye, or Nagisa poking the tip of his pen just under Seo’s chin, Nakamura and Isogai with their hands at Araki’s and Koyama’s throats. 

There’s a sudden silence, as the library watches them with bated breaths. 

And then little Nagisa says, “I’d be more careful about betting my life if I were you.”

\--

“Holy shi-it,” Guro is shaking Hosu, “did you see that? Holy shit!”

“Did,” Yana says, “did the 3-E kids just threaten to _kill_ them?!”

“This is going up on the fucking Board,” Mako says.

\--

The Big Five sans Asano flees. To look for Asano. 

“I was only trying to make a point!” Seo is saying. “I never thought they’d try to take us up on it!”

“It’s alright,” Asano says tiredly. “You’re not in trouble.”

“Why not?!” Chika says. “I want him to be in trouble!”

“Don’t you have places to be?” Seo snaps at her.

“This might be good to inspire A-Class” Asano says. He glances around the room. “Do you all need inspiration?”

“I’m plenty inspired,” Tanaka says.

“I’d be more inspired if Seo gets in trouble,” Chika says.

“I’ll kill you,” Seo says.

As if on cue, the whole class looks up and chorus, “I’d be more careful about betting my life if I were you!” And Asano would face-palm if he could, but he’s not quite exhausted enough for that display of exasperation. 

“We have to clarify the terms,” Asano says. “I know about contracts with unclear definitions and their respective consequences, or… so to speak. I propose the winner only gets one demand.”

“Only one?” Sakakibara says in dismay, “not a lot we can do with that!”

“Boo, you whore,” Tanaka says. He slathers a photo of Kanzaki with glue, and slaps it on the top of Sakakibara’s desk. 

Asano opens his laptop, and starts typing one-handed. He earns a lot of awed gasps and cheers from his theatrical class, because they like to act as if him typing one-handed is some magical feat every single time he does it like they haven’t borne witness to it many times before. To be fair, he does now sometimes mainly for dramatic effect, even if he learnt to type fast at first for convenience’s sake.

“Here,” Asano says, spinning his laptop around to show a long list open in a word document. “There’s a lot we can do if the one demand constitutes 50 clauses.”

“What will you even make them do?” Yuu says. 

“Plenty of possibilities,” Asano shrugs. “We could get them to confirm the allegations of Koro-sensei, for one.”

“The loser will pledge servitude and total subjugation to the victor,” Sakakibara reads off the monitor. “Did you come up with that off the top of your head? That’s terrifying, Asano.”

“Terrifying? Wait, where’s that line?” Asano checks the document. “Oh, no, that’s a mistake. I extracted this document from the clause my fath- the principal made me sign.”

There’s a pause.

“I changed my mind,” Anaya says, walking up to the front of the classroom and placing a thermos of coffee on Asano’s desk. “I have underestimated the amount of stress you go through.” She turns to the four and crosses her arms. “If he dies of caffeine poisoning, it’s on all your heads, I’m telling you this.”

“Honestly man,” Toro says. “Anytime you need, just say the word. I’ll get you out of Japan.”

“No, I don’t have time for a vacation,” Asano says. He opens the thermos. “We have exams to study for.” He glares at Seo. “If 3-E even comes _close_ to winning this bet, then you’ll be in trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OC Recap:  
> Yana, not to be confused with Yuna (3-A, gay), is class 3-D's representative and she debuts in chapter 1! She has appeared several times with minor speaking roles but as a class rep, she's a degree closer to the student council than her classmates.  
> Guro and Hosu are also from 3-D and I've mostly mentioned them together with mostly background chatter roles. Fun fact: I've written both their names exactly 6 times each in this whole fic!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys know that Kunugigaoka has a "broadcasting club"? What in the world is that? Araki is the president, and he's supposed to be the son of a famous news reporter (?) so anyways it looks like I'm just going to make up clubs as I go now.

The exam results are out.

The exam results are out, and 3-E has beat 3-A in 3 subjects out of 5.

Let us repeat: the exam results are out, and 3-A has lost the bet.

“We’re dead,” Koyama says.

Nobody makes an E-Class joke. Everyone’s staring at Asano.

Wordlessly, Asano gets up and slams the papers down on his desk. The masses wince. He stands up straight, glares at the class in general, and then walks out of the room.

“I can’t believe it,” Sakakibara says. “They did it. They actually beat us.”

“We’re dead,” Koyama repeats.

\--

“Red alert!” Jirou says, crashing into 3-A with fear in his eyes. “The kids have reported. Asano’s in the Lion’s den.”

“Oh shit!” Araki jumps to his feet. “I didn’t even think about what the Principal would say about the wager!”

“Especially since we lost!” Seo says, pulling at his hair.

“Not to overreact but should we call the cops?”

“Not yet but put them on speed dial.”

“How speedy could it get, it’s literally 3 numbers.”

“I’ll call Tsubara,” Toro says. 

“Honestly, that was stupid!” Jirou snaps at Seo and Koyama, who seem properly contrite. “You’re just giving Asano more work to handle!”

“How were we supposed to know they actually studied?!” Seo defends.

“Of course they weren’t going to not study, idiot,” Chika says. “Not after you all baited them like that. They were already putting in so much effort!”

“No one wants to stay on the bottom rung of the ladder,” Yuu points out. She blinks, and stares at the girl next to her, who seems to be deep in thought. “What are you thinking, Yuna?”

Yuna is frowning at her score sheet - 30th in the level. “That Koro-sensei character must be really something else, huh? It’s not like we didn’t work hard too. But we can’t say it’s the biggest surprise, if I’m being honest, because the students who beat the original top scorers at their subjects were already good at them, Okuda has always been top 5 in the running for science, she just failed at everything else which pulled her to class E. Kanzaki came in close to Sakakibara, and she’s always been wonderful at Japanese, too. She won that poetry competition in our first year, remember?”

“Isogai was always great at ethics, I’m pretty sure he wants to be a social worker,” Tanaka says. “And Nakamura was always brilliant! She dropped to class E because she became lazy with her work, but she was top 5 in the whole cohort for the first year.”

“The only exception is Akabane,” Koyama says. 

“He’s slipping,” Jirou agrees. “Probably became complacent.” His eyes sharpen. “Like some people.”

“Who knew the octopus is a surprisingly good teacher?” Yuu says.

Then, Tsubara pokes his head in. “You guys called?”

“Asano’s been called in,” Toro says. “We’re thinking he’d probably need to vent after.”

“Oh, so you want me to let him beat me up,” Tsubara says, but there’s a wrinkle of worry in his eye. “Tell him I’ll be at the sports hall, then.”

Asano returns half an hour after he first disappears, looking very expectedly pissed. He dumps his bag on his assigned seat in the 3-A classroom, Sakakibara says "Tsubara's at the sports hall," and the boy pivots around on a foot and storms back out.

\--

On the last day of school before term break, 3-A files into the hall, only to stop short and see 3-E already milling about, somehow beating them there. It was strange because they’re always the last to arrive, and it was doubly strange to see them in such high spirits, although it is obviously attributed to their recent success.

Horibe is not among them, and he had also been a no-show during the exams. They’ve gotten a glimpse of Ritsu then, and Yuna and Sakakibara adamantly refuse to believe she’s the real deal. “I’d rather have believed it was the television!” Yuna sobs, and Sakakibara bawls alongside her. She’s here today too, looking very much unlike her picture, and 3-A tactfully sidestep the subject.

“Hey, look, it’s class A,” Terasaka says loudly, “where’s the supreme leader? We have a winning bet we need to cash in!”

3-A exchanges glances at each other. Chika steps forth, a scowl on her face. “He’s on his way,” she says coldly. 

“Aww, sad we beat you?” Nakamura says. “Guess you’re all just talk, huh!”

“We heard you could make any one request from us,” Saito says, lips in a thin line. “What is it?”

Isogai steps between them then. “If it’s alright with you, we’d like to discuss it when Asano gets here. We’ve already sent our request through him via email.”

More confused looks get passed through the class. Asano hadn’t mentioned anything about it. 

“Hey, he’s coming!” Yoshida exclaims suddenly, and a few of the 3-E boys run out of the hall. Moments later loud taunts are heard, no doubt from the boys towards Asano. 3-E grow increasingly smug, and when the Virtuosos step into the hall, they gather round and stare Asano down, who stares back equally as indifferent.

“You can’t intimidate someone who has to face the Principal on a daily,” Yuu says lowly.

“I’ll see to your request to the best of my ability,” Asano says faux-pleasantly, barely a smile on his face, and for some reason the E class finds this hilarious and they burst into laughter,

“Best of your ability?” Akabane pipes up. “Well, I’m sure you’re the _best_ , student council president, and there’s no way you would half-ass your end of the deal and prove yourself to be a conniving, spiteful _bitch_ , isn’t that right?”

Before the conflict comes to a head, the rest of the students shuffle in and 3-E seem content to meander around and revel in their victory. Asano seems oddly tense, and he doesn’t say much, but drives Sakakibara away with a head shake.

“We’re dead,” Koyama repeats, for the millionth time that day.

The announcer goes through the regular proceedings about studying and keeping their grades up through the holiday break, but when it comes to the mandatory 3-E taunt, he falters. There’s much discussion on the Board about it, and shortly after the end of the assembly, the outcome of the bet is out: there is a fully-funded trip to an Okinawa resort reserved for the best-performing graduating class during the first term break every year, and this year - on terms of the bet - that honor goes to 3-E. 

\--

In the classroom, Seo obnoxiously props his chair back and says loudly, “who cares that 3-E goes to Okinawa? It’s a local trip, anyways!” And Anaya kicks the bottom of his seat and sends him flying. 

“You’re supposed to represent our goddamn class!”

“I was looking forward to the trip!”

“I’d be more careful about betting my life if I were you!”

“Asano is the only one of you lot that’s worth a damn!”

“I had my clothes picked out and everything!”

The cacophony continues, the Virtuosos dive for cover, holiday plans are lamented about, and then Asano says “shut up!” And everyone instantly quietens.

“We lost,” Asano spits, “that’s the end of it. At least have the self respect to be graceful in defeat.” With that he stews silently in his own rage, staring down at his empty desk and seemingly blocking out the rest of them. The school is in their lowest spirits since the start of the school term, and some pictures of 3-E mid-celebration as they walk down the hill are posted on the board.

“At least some of us are having fun,” Takada says bitterly, and no one says much else about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some little tidbits you guys can remember for this chapter:  
> In the final scene where the 3-A kids yell at the Virtuosos, I actually lifted canon speech from the dub! "Who cares about Okinawa, it's a local trip", "you're supposed to represent our class" and "Asano is the only one of you that's worth a damn" were actually said in the anime. That's right, it's canon that the kids adore their student council president.  
> Very unfortunately as well, whatever Gakushuu says at the last part is also canon. He is depicted very maliciously antagonistic during the scene (which I do agree is a fitting context) but isn't it just... sad? 
> 
> OC recap:  
> Jirou: Karmasabi in my comments section said "did you name the kids after the bnha characters?!" and yes, yes I did. He's the 1-B class representative, and he's a guy because I googled it and Jirou is a boy's name.  
> Tsubara: He's in class 3-B! I think most people would recognize him as has-a-crush-on-Sato. He's notably friends with Toro (A), Rukiyo (C) and Mako (D), and has the tendency to attempt risky endeavors such as climbing creepy hills, doing backflips by the school date, and talk to his crush. I'm putting him in Judo club which may or may not exist canonically (but it should).  
> Saito: If you think you haven't heard his name yet, then you're right. Saito Katsuki is one of the OCs that get a full name, for the sole reason that he says his full name. He's in class 3-A because i think 3-A needs more boys that aren't the Virtuosos.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new chapter is out! I think I fell into a bit of a lull with the previous 2 (there's not a lot of theorizing to be done during exams) but here is the Okinawa chapter! You thought I was going to skip out on it because there was no way I would be able to fit any main campus kids in the Okinawa, right? Well you thought wrong. let's begin.

"Hello, fellow oblivious students of Kunugigaoka, welcome to my livestream, 3-E watch. As you can see here the little dots on the beach are in fact the 3-E students, and that larger dot over there is none other than the infamous Koro-sensei!"

"Oh, I just got a question… where am I? I am on Okinawa islands spying on class 3-E here and for those of you who do not know the significance of Okinawa - which you should - an all expenses paid vacation to Okinawa resorts is an annual perk for the top scoring class of each graduating year! 3-A has generously conceded that privilege to 3-E this year because they are very benevolently helping us save the world."

"As you can see, 3-E has built some sort of… floating house on the water, and they have entered it.

"-and it looks like our beloved student council president Asano has joined the livestream! Say hi, everyone. Viewers are still trickling in, to recap for everyone 3-E has built a floating house on the ocean. they moved a television set inside yesterday so I guess… they're watching a home movie? I don't know. There seems to be no activity for now… but let's wait and see. How has your day been, Asano?"

"Uh huh…mhm… oh... well it seems our Principal is… very disappointed in 3-E's victory for the midterms and is planning to set high-school level questions for us. Asano is his guinea pig - we need to buy our president a few more drinks, am i right? He says he wants more dollar-store sake. Haha, I'm joking, he actually said champagne but we can't afford his expensive tastes." 

"Okay, we have another question… isn't Okinawa supposed to be government secure? How am I filming this? Well, we all know the government is bad at doing things. There's a pothole in front of my house they haven't filled in yet. Well normally the winning class gets only a few rooms booked but it appears this year they've rented the whole of the Okinawa resort, not suspicious at all. How much did it cost, Asano? He says nothing because the government paid for it. They did not account for this second resort, also in Okinawa but on top of a cliff overlooking the first resort, which means me - and everyone else here - can watch them through our room windows. I am in no way concerned over the future of our nation."

"Okay, my dad's calling, I have to go for dinner. For those of you who don't know, he's here on a work trip and brought me along, complaining the entire way that the suite in Okinawa resort he and his colleagues booked 3 months ago has been cancelled for secret reasons, but has been rebooked to his fancier, upscale resort but with a smaller rooms. What a shame. I'll leave the camera running for the rest of you so you still have the 3-E content sans commentary, this has been Katsuki Saito, signing off." 

\--

"Hello, my wonderful audience. Katsuki's back from dinner which was brilliant, it has been about an hour and I have been informed there has been no movement thus far except for a few people going to the bathroom. I don't actually know if they went to the bathroom but they left and came back empty handed, sometimes with more snacks. Looks like they truly are watching a movie, I wonder what it's about but looks like we'll never know. Maybe Jaws."

"I can say having a school wide forum is the best thing ever - everybody thank Chika again for hosting this, she spends a lot of money on a server for us. Thanks babe. Yeah, the council funds her, Sakakibara says they have it under miscellaneous expenses. I don't know why we took so long to make this. Maybe because our principal is a psycho and he doesn't like things he can't control? Haha. Wait, is Asano online? No? Don't tell him I called his dad a psycho."

"Wait… it looks like - holy SHIT the house just exploded, did you see that?! Are those water jet packs? Oh my god! Is no one else in this damn building seeing this?! There are _children_ strapped to water jetpacks flying fifteen feet in the air! That's not fucking normal! If the general public is this ignorant of sensational news it's no wonder they thought we'd be blind to 3-E's insanity this whole time, what the fuck!"

“Holy shit. _Holy shit_. You will not believe- what is going on? What is going the fuck on!”

“Asano oh my god I’m so glad you’re back online! Are you seeing this? Are you seeing this? Oh my god that’s Koro-sensei! They’re shooting him-”

“OH MY GOD Something just exploded? Holy FUCK I - DAD! This is _important!_ \- okay sorry - _holy shit_ there was an explosion - did you guys see that?”

“-wait, he just disappeared? Did something happen? I can’t see anything. I should have invested in better specs, yeah, I know, if I don't see frame-by-frame analyses spamming the Board after this I'm going to be so disappointed in all you people."

“...Okay, I don’t know what happened. They’re swimming out of the water.”

“They look pretty sad, trudging along the beach like that. Yeah, they were shooting him - I’ll see if I can rewind the footage, I think I saw some of the kids with guns. The military’s definitely involved in this, there’s no way they’ll get so many jetskis and… guns?”

“I don’t get it? Why were they shooting the supercreature? Isn’t he their teacher? Are they trying to kill him? Haha, completely unrelated but I bet we all want to kill - well maybe not so drastic as to _kill_ but at least hurt some of our teachers a bit. You know, pull a Karma. Asano, are you still on? I think- Dad I’m livestreaming! No, it’s not for youtube, it’s for my school! It’s not a project, I told you I finished all my homework before the trip!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And next chapter: still the Okinawa trip! I wonder what's going to happen? ;)  
> No points to guessing which hotel Saito is staying at. There is a map of the island shown in Episode 18 that is supposedly depicting the hotel far away from 3-E's resort in the center of the island but... shhh... let me have this. 
> 
> OC Recap  
> Saito Katsuki: he's in 3-A! I only introduced him last chapter, and he's one of the only OCs with a full name instead of just a surname because he says it. He's in the broadcast club with Araki, he has a fancy camcorder, and he's a little sweet on Chika which I just decided will happen even though I didn't mention it once prior.  
> Chika: she's mentioned only by name in this chapter. She's also in 3-A, the president of the computing club, and she likes seashells.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love alternative storytelling.
> 
> If you hated narration from an outsiders' perspective like in the previous chapter, then this next chapter is not for you. Why are you reading this fic? That's what it has all been so far. I'm just joking hope you liked it pleasedon'tgo.  
> If you loved Saito and would like to see him back, then this chapter is a game changer in what the main campus knows about 3-E because ho-ly shit!

“Students of Kunugigaoka Middle School hear me when I say this - this is a game changer. This is  _ the _ game changer. You will not believe what just happened to me. This - this is going to blow up, I cannot  _ believe  _ \- hold on, let me post on… the Board… that I am going live and it requires immediate attention...”

“Let me take a breather - please forgive the audio and the lighting, I’m not in the hotel room right now, I am in a bar. It’s legal, I’m allowed to be here, there are plenty of other children around and they check for ID at the counter. It’s strange that the legal drinking age of Japan is 20, and the government sure puts weird levels in their priorities because I’m 15, i’m legally not allowed to take a little sippy-sip of this mojito here - it’s not mine, I’ll get to it later - but, as it turns out, I can hold a gun and kill someone. That’s right, if I am 15 - 14, in fact, the government will give me a loaded gun, strap me to a water flyboard, put me on an island with a bunch of other of my 14 year old classmates and ask me to kill, that’s right  _ kill _ , somebody.”

“I think you know where I’m going with this. No, you don’t, because it’s ridiculous. Okay so I decided to take a walk, right? Because I’m bored and there’s nothing to do at this hotel, the Okinawa resort is the fun one because they have all the coastal activities. I want to go out onto the beach because the ocean air is nice and I can stargaze, so I’m headed down to the lobby area when I hear some awesome piano playing, there’s a piano in the lobby, see, and it’s really nice so I decided to check it out and listen for a bit, but you’ll never guess who was playing the fucking piano.”

“It’s not a celebrity or anything, it’s fucking Irina Jelavic. That’s right, that’s the 3-E language arts teacher. Blonde hair, blue eyes, huge… things, you know what I mean, super pretty. She’s sitting there in this fancy dress just going ham on the piano! I recorded a few seconds of it, I’ll post it on the board later.”

“Anyways, that’s hella weird, right? Why would 3-E’s teacher be playing the piano?- it’s her, by the way, not a lookalike, and I can confirm because I talked to her. Like why would she be here? Isn't she chaperoning 3-E?"

"So I waited until she was done with the piano playing and I thought she was drunk, but she wasn't. I was standing by the side watching and I didn't know if she recognized me, right, because she hardly comes down to Main. But I waved at her like "hey Jelavic-sensei, do you know me?" and she did! She was like "what are you doing here? Aren't you from Kunugigaoka?" She's way prettier up close, I tell you."

“This is a prime opportunity, right? She’s talking to me in person and I might never get this chance again - oh my god I sound like Yuna - so I ask her what the fuck is going on in 3-E? She asks me what I think, why I would think there’s anything up? But she sounds suspicious, I thought she was testing the waters, like how you don’t talk about a secret unless you’re sure the other person knows it. I have it on recording by the way, the phone was in my pocket but the audio’s still good, I tell her what we know on the Board. We are aware that the moon-destroying supercreature is 3-E’s homeroom teacher they call Koro-sensei, that they practice archery and hold guns, and that the government is terrible at keeping secrets. And you know what she says?”

“She says “the government is bad, stat,” and she asks to look at the Board. I show her a couple of theories - the one where Koro-sensei escaped from that random science lab in an experiment, the one about Koro-sensei and the old 3-E teacher being in a secret romance because I thought it was funny. And she says we probably found out some things she doesn’t even know!”

“So we’re talking and walking, right, we’re walking down the hallway and then you’ll never believe what happens next - I sound like a clickbait article. We come across this random guy lying unconscious in the middle of the floor, and for some reason he’s all tied up and everything. Well, okay, he's not really out in the open, but he was under a table. And he's wrapped up, which is highly suspicious. Jelavic-sensei says, that’s the students’ work, which what? 3-E knocked a random guy out and tied him up, and then left him in the middle of the hotel?”

“So Jelavic-sensei unties him and he wakes up. They exchange pleasantries, it’s clear they know each other, and Jelavic-sensei asks what he was doing here, and here’s the kicker.”

“Remember Takaoka? Remember that piece of shit, child-abusing asshole that hurt the 3-E kids, gave Kanzaki a bruise? Someone pin that thread on the Board later, it’s important.” 

“So Jelavic-sensei’s friend is apparently a chemist of some sort, and that Takaoka psycho for some reason decided to poison the 3-E kids, because he thinks they got him fired or something, I don’t know. He hires the chemist and like a couple of other dudes, he gets someone to go all the way down to the resort to put the poison in their food, and he tells 3E that the rest of them - the ones that aren’t poisoned - to come up all the way up to this hotel to get the fucking antidote. Worst still, that bitch apparently doesn’t plan to give the kids the antidote! He just wants to fucking mess with them! That’s sick!”

“Okay good news first! Don’t panic because the 3-E kids aren’t poisoned at all! So the chemist dude knew Takaoka was crazy, so he made a fake poison to give the kids a stomach ache instead of an actual poison, so they’re going to be alright. I’m glad he did so because at least he has a sense of morality, and it wouldn’t be his fault if he turned down the job because that’s just plain ludicrous, but it’s good that Takaoka didn’t manage to hire someone else that might have actually gone through with it. What kind of psycho poisons a whole middle-school class just like that?”

“That means the 3-E kids are left going up to meet that psycho Takaoka by themselves to get the antidote, but Jelavic-sensei says it’s alright, because - and here’s another kicker, we are going through so many plot twists today - they are “trained”. I know I sound like I’m completely calm about the information I’m giving but trust me, I haven’t even begun remotely processing anything that has happened thus far, I’m still in a state of shock.”

“So air-force sensei - I don’t remember his name, but it’s their teacher with the black whoosh hair we see in assemblies. He’s a trained air-force military man, and the reason he’s there with the class is to watch over the octopus supercreature, and we got that much right. The terrifying thing is what the supercreature is doing there, and here’s why.”

“So the students of 3-E - bear with me here - are government hired assassins that are training to kill the octopus supercreature by graduation. Jelavic-sensei is actually a trained assassin that also got hired to kill the octopus supercreatre.”

“I know.  _ I know. _ I wish I could make this up. I really wish I had a little fragment of whatever pool of imagination I would require to even begin to conjure up the mere concept of this image.”

“So I made a timeline - yes, I wrote it down on this napkin - and let me go through it. At the beginning of the school year, the octopus supercreature blew up the moon. He came to the government and said, let me teach 3-E or I’ll blow up the Earth in a year. And the government fucking sucks, so of course they’ll let him do just that, because a bunch of kids for the rest of the world? Who cares about the kids, right? The government really just said fuck 3-E lives, huh?”

“But they came up with an ultimatum. We all know the supercreature is fast and indestructible against human weapons, right? Turns out he has a weakness, which is some weird rubbery material. I don’t even know how they struck this deal but the gist is this - this supercreature trains the whole of E-class in how to kill someone, they attempt to assassinate him, and if they manage to do so by graduation, he’ll be too busy being dead to blow the world up.”

“I know it sounds ridiculous! I wish I was lying, I really do. I’ll have to write down the details and tie it together or something but this napkin is just too tiny. Oh! The mojito belongs to Jelavic-sensei. She and the chemist guy - who’s codename is apparently Smog, how funny, went to get the other two people that psycho Takaoka hired.”

“I feel like this puts into perspective everything we know about 3-E so far! The shooting targets and the fact they were using guns, and the whole “I’ll be more careful about betting my life if I were you” thing? Turns out they’re not being edgy - well, they were being edgy, but like, not only just because they were being edgy. They’re actually being taught how to kill people, you guys.”

“What… Oh my god, thanks for reminding me, viewer Karama_Akabane_can_legally_kill_now_oh_god_we’re_dead. First off yes, the 3-E kids are armed all the fucking time now, they’re strung up on a live wire, and they have sanction to kill as granted to them by the government. Second off, the exchange kids completely slipped my mind, I’ll have to ask Jelavic-sensei about them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but I love Irina Jelavic too much?? Don't @ me. 
> 
> Also lkhl I have a question for all of you: who do you ship together in this fandom? I think I can guess some of the ships just based off the main demographic of what I write about but like, who else? I'm just generally curious. Mainstream pairs, rarepairs, whatever. ((Throw in my OCs because I want to know who has chemistry in this fic.))


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think some people mentioned that you guys don't remember the OCs enough to reply to my super odd who-do-you-ship? question and I just want to say that's a-okay! That's the point! Woohoo! Most of these OCs are really not plot-essential at all, I gave them little names and little lives because it's fun but their main purpose is for background chatter and I'm actually kind of happy (?) that keeping track of the OCs is secondary and not impeding the flow of this fic? (Of course if you think it's obstructive feel free to let me know.)
> 
> The only real people you probably have to keep track of are the Virtuosos (who exist in canon anyways) and Watanabe (who is the main conspiracy theorist).

“This is an emergency meeting,” Watanabe says, slamming a marker onto the board. “Court order! Is everyone in session?”

“I printed out every security tape, picture and news article I could find about the supercreature,” Sakakibara says, slamming his hands on a large stack of paper.

“I collated everything we know about 3-E in this folder here,” Koyama says.

“I have all the videos and audio from the Okinawa trip in my camcorder,” Saito hooks it up to the projector.

“I have snacks,” Sato says. 

“You kids are very prepared,” Jelavic-sensei says, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “I’m impressed. Do you have pretzels?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sato says. 

“So this is what we know for facts,” Asano says. “The 3-E students are being trained as assassins so they can kill the octopus supercreature before he blows up the Earth, by March.”

“Yep,” Jelavic-sensei says. She’s chewing on a pretzel.

“Just awful,” Saito says, shaking his head.

“And this is what else we do know, that Miss Jelavic doesn’t,” Asano flips through Koyama’s folder. “Kayano Kaede is actually Akari Yukimura, the younger sister of Aguri Yukimura, the old 3-E teacher before her untimely death. Aguri Yukimura worked at a science lab and died in an explosion, which happened about two days before the octopus supercreature revealed himself to the world.”

“One of the two exchange students is an, um,” Asano looks at Jelavic-sensei awkwardly, and rolls his eyes at Sakakibara’s dramatic wailing. “An artificial intelligence specially designed in sweden meant to assist in the assassination.”

“The girl you saw during the examinations was a decoy,” Jelavic-sensei says. “I love that you call me Miss Jelavic, by the way. You’re such a nice kid.”

“Uh, thanks? The other exchange student is Itona Horibe, who was the son of a electronics company CEO that went bankrupt.”

“Here’s what we theorized, in which the octopus supercreature was manufactured in the lab, and he blew it up. We don’t know any possible motives for why he would want to become a teacher for 3-E specifically.”

“Can we go back to Itona?” Jelavic-sensei says. “What else do you know about him?”

“That’s it.” Asano says. “He hasn’t turned up for any of the assemblies or the examinations.”

“He has tentacles,” Jelavic-sensei says. “Protruding off the top of his head. The same kind as the octopus’, with the same weaknesses.”

“Really?” Watanabe says, leaning forward in her seat.

“He came to class one day with a handler who called himself Shiro,” Jelavic-sensei says. “He challenged the octopus to a fight, where it was revealed that he had tentacles as well and could move as fast as the octopus at Mach 20. Itona called himself and the octopus brothers, but Shiro later commented that they weren’t brothers by blood, but by the genetic makeup of the tentacles.”

“Horibe was a normal boy?” Araki says. “No mutations other than the tentacles?”

“None, but he was unhinged,” Jelavic-sensei says. She taps a finger on her chin. “He had to be sedated and dragged off by Shiro.”

“That confirms it, then,” Asano says. “The tentacles are a mutation of some sort, so Koro-sensei was once a human. Maybe he took the octopus form because he had a more severe tentacle reaction.”

“Itona came back twice to challenge the octopus to a fight, although I was not there to witness the second one,” Jelavic-sensei says. “He had five tentacles during the first fight, three during the second.”

“So they can be manipulated,” Sakakibara says.

“Either in a laboratory, or it’s a trait by itself that allows Horibe to control how many tentacles he can have,” Koyama says.

“The octopus can remove and regenerate limbs at will,” Jelavic-sensei says. “Perhaps.”

“Now we have a new player in the scene, whoever the Shiro guy is,” Sakakibara says. 

“He’s probably the link to Yanagisawa,” Watanabe says. “If Horibe is being experimented on by Yanagisawa, Shiro is the guy that tests out the tentacles on the field.”

“You know, I like you kids,” Jelavic-sensei says. “You’re much nicer than the brats I have to supervise, and much smarter at the very least. They keep calling me Bitch-sensei.”

“Why would they do that?” Asano says.

“Because they’re little rascals,” Jelavic-sensei scoffs. Despite her words, she sounds fond.

“Isn’t this supposed to be an international government secret?” Seo says. “Why are you telling us this?”

“It’s not my job to keep it a secret,” Jelavic-sensei points out, shrugging. “And they’re evidently not doing a very good job at it either. Besides, you guys already know, and you have the bonus of more information - so we keep this between us, and now we both know a little bit more about our target. In the assassin trade, we call that smart business.”

“In middle school, we call that gossip,” Watanabe says cheerfully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm too biased for this fic, I love Irina and it's really shining through here.  
> Although I would say that as much as Karasuma bothers attempting to keep a secret, I think Irina doesn't give a fuck. She doesn't seem to care about keeping a low profile much and she's shown to be pretty practical in not taking 3-E's side (notably with Reaper 2.0). She's probably unused to such a long mission given that her modus operandi is just to kill someone and leave, and it's making her antsy - It's post Okinawa where she begins to doubt her place as a teacher so I think she'll not mind the opportunity to mess around a bit with 3-E and the government.
> 
> Addendum: we won't see much more of her after this chapter (for those who are wondering). She doesn't care enough about main campus to stick around now that she got what information she wanted, and while the main campus kids are still curious about her, Asano is adamant about not pursuing that thread and Main doesn't feel like pushing for his reasons.
> 
> OC Recap (for fun!)  
> Watanabe, 3-B, is one of the main conspiracy theorists in this fic. She is a Haruna Mase Stan and kickstarted this whole endeavor by recognizing that Kayano Kaede isn't who she say she is, all the way in chapter 2.  
> Sato (not to be confused with Saito) is Watanabe's best friend. He's also in 3-B, he plays baseball, and he's most likely to get attached by the end of this fic.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I think this is the longest I've gone without updating. I hope everyone is doing well! Things happened (and are still happening), is all I can say. I was given a "please don't come to work" notice like most people but I'm a part time in the service industry so that means my family is down several hundred for the next few months! No working from home here, folks. School mixed around with their deadlines and pushed everything forward to get it over and done with as soon as possible so I did write tons in the past weeks but none of it was fic :( I got sick, mom got sick, we're both declared covid-19 free, yay? 
> 
> Enough about me. What's going on next in Kunugigaoka? This chapter and the next comes from an episode extra "Takebayashi's Time", a 1.5 episode that canonically happens early in season 2. The gist of the episode is that Takebayashi transfers out of 3-E for mostly family reasons. He later realizes the environment in main campus just isn't for him, and the father-son devil duo that is the Asanos make him give a speech demonizing his 3-E classmates. Takebayashi refuses and breaks one of the principal's belongings in front of the school, thereby getting sent back to 3-E. Check out that episode, it's pretty cool, and there are some very nice Asano Gakushuu faces in there. (Also Takebayashi has very nice eyes.)

“I can’t believe it. Is that-”

“What the damn hell is 3-E up to this time?” Chika says, sticking her head out of the window. If you looked high enough, you could almost see the top of something brown stick out beyond the canopy of trees that surrounded the 3-E classroom on top of the hill.

“What do you think it is?” Anaya says.

“A large mound of dirt?” 

“Let’s go up and see!” Yuna says.

“It’s the middle of the school day,” Sakakibara squints.

“Can we call Miss Jelavic and ask her what’s up?” Saito says, looking around. “Asano?”

“We shouldn’t bother her in the middle of the school day,” Asano frowns. “We shouldn’t be so fixated with 3-E. The midterms are going to come up soon.”

“They’re assassinating a giant yellow octopus monster, Asano!” Seo says. “How is that not interesting?”

“Well, we uncovered the secret,” Asano says, crossing his arms. “That’s all there is to it. Do you want 3-E to beat us at exams again?”

“But,” Yuna starts, and falls silent when Sakakibara shakes his head at her. Asano’s hard to handle when he gets into one of his moods, and arguing against his words aren’t pretty. He’s much easier to coax when he’s relaxed, but he’s so tense now his pencil might snap in half at any moment.

The rest of the day passes without much incidence, but the true reveal of 3-E’s purpose through the year unearths a bout of restlessness through the cohort. Thus far it had been some funny inside joke to all of them, some gossip mill, something to laugh about in the midst of the ever-stressful demands of Kunugigaoka life.

Now the truth - or something like the truth - has come to light, and after the initial exclamations, it turns out the whole thing isn’t quite so funny at all. 

It’s marked by Asano’s abrupt shift in mood. Kunugigaoka wonders what is up with their council president, and similarly what is up with their Principal. 

\--

“There’s something…” Asano starts to Sakakibara, and then trails off, looking out the council room window and towards the hill.

“What is it?” Sakakibara says.

Asano looks up. “Araki, Seo, come here.”

He leans back on the table, crossing his arms. “We’re having a new student. It’d be announced at assembly tomorrow.”

“Who is it?” Seo says. “Is it a transfer student like with 3-E? Are they going to assassinate the octopus.”

“Well…” Asano says. “No. The opposite, in fact. It’s Takebayashi Kotaro, who’s transferring from 3-E to 3-A.” 

“What?!” The three explode in frantic exclaimations, which proves to be terrible if they’re representative of the student body’s reactions tomorrow. “Why? What about 3-E’s secret? The octopus? What is he going to do? What are _we_ going to do?! Why-”

“Shut up!” Asano snaps. The three fall into silence. 

“He’s transferring because his grades meet the requirements, and everyone knows that the social strata that comes with being in class 3-E is just _delightful_ , isn’t it. Why he’s opting for a transfer is beyond your business. I’ll send you the rundown of the assembly by three so finalize the script and make concessions for the delay.”

Sakakibara, Araki and Seo watch him storm off. “What about the rest of the cohort?” Seo says. “Should we pre-empt them? They’ll go nuts. What do we do?”

Sakakibara crosses his arms. “It means he doesn’t know yet. He’ll give directions by tonight most likely, latest tomorrow.”

“Who knows Takebayashi the best here?” Seo says.

“Chika,” Sakakibara says. “They were in the same club.”

\--

“He comes from a family of doctors,” Chika tells them, resting her chin on her hand. “They’ve had rather high expectations of him, last I remember. He has a passion for computers but he was giving it up in favor of the medical field.:

“The parental shackles are hardest to break,” Sakakibara says. Everyone exchanges glances.

“Why do you want to know anyways?” Chika asks.

“No reason,” Sakakibara says, the same time Araki says “you’ll find out tomorrow,” and Seo says “he’s transferring back to Main.” Sakakibara and Araki spin around and whack Seo on the head.

“Oh?” Chika says, blinking in surprise. “There must be a lot of expectations attached to that responsibility. The octopus notwithstanding, you wouldn’t want to stay in 3-E either. The association just isn’t worth it.” She leans back on her chair. “What about the anticipated response with the rest of the cohort? Or Takebayashi’s?”

“Asano hasn’t given his input yet,” Sakakibara says.

“Then I suppose we’d find out soon,” Chika says. "They're going to riot, I swear."

\--

They’re right with their extrapolations, because the school descends into chaos. 

Takebayashi steps onto stage, Araki announces his return, and there’s the most tense of silences. 3-E are shocked speechless, gaping at their ex-classmate as he stands on stage and steadily avoids eye contact, going off on a speech of how hard work and dedication brought his grades up. No one’s thinking about that.. Main looks up towards the stage wings where Asano is standing, and wordlessly he gives them a thumbs up.

Everyone starts cheering. Takebayashi looks decidedly overwhelmed as he’s ushered off stage, and almost immediately the Board explodes with notifications. What is going on? Did something change with 3-E’s mission directive? Were they allowed to interrogate Takebayashi?

The answer to all that was no. Takebayashi is walking down Main’s corridors on the wall to 3-A, pleased with the warm reception he received, when a hand clamps down hard on his shoulder and he’s hauled backwards into a stray supply closet. The door slams, he’s shoved into a swivel chair, and a light gets shined into his face.

It’s from a phone torch. The girl holding the phone in question, Watanabe, props her leg up on the armrest. “Alright, Takebayashi. Spill.”

“What?!” Takebayashi says.

“This is a little tad dramatic, isn’t it?” Araki says. 

“Hi, hope this isn’t too abrupt,” Chika pops out of the darkness. “Nice to see you again, Takebayashi. Asano’s in the lion’s den, he can’t join us this time. Watanabe, put your leg down. Stop shining the light in his eyes, he already needs glasses.”

“Hmph,” Watanabe says. 

“Chika, what is going on?” Takebayashi says. 

“We understand you’ve been part of 3-E for the past few months, yes,” Chika says. “We’ve intercepted you here because you’ll be mobbed once you get to class. Don’t worry, there’s a scheduling ‘error’ today so class doesn’t start for another period. Now that you’re back in Main, you’ll need to familiarize yourself with the way things are run around here.”

Takebayashi bristles. “I know all about that. I earned my right back into 3-A with my grades. If you are prejudiced against me I-”

“We don’t care about your fucking grades,” Watanabe interjects. “Tell us about the octopus! Koro-sensei! Assassination!”

“WHAT?!” Takebayashi screams. He looks between Watanabe, Chika and Araki, then starts hyperventilating. 

“We were supposed to break it to him slowly!” Chika scolds.

“What better way to find out?” Watanabe sings. “We know all about it, little boy! Kill Koro-sensei before he blows up the world by March! Juicy stuff! Tell us why you’re here! Did they send you to be a spy? Are you no longer interested in the assassination? Was the mission called off? What-”

“Watanabe!” Chika says, again.

Araki pulls the swivel chair to the side. “We’re aware of the lengths taken to keep the mission imperative a secret,” he tells Takebayashi. “But you’re just not very subtle.” 

“WHAT?!” Takebayashi says, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this time, I suppose. Hope you aren't too disappointed to see me again!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a long chapter! Of course, we have Takebayashi, but it also gets a bit into the politics of Kunugigaoka and the mindset of the Main Campus kids (including what I imagine they would be thinking in canon). They're rather cynical this chapter, but I hope it's still fun to read (?) I tried. You don't have to agree, of course, but I would love to hear your thoughts!

“So you guys have known everything this entire while?” Takebayashi gapes at Chika’s computer screen. She’s slowly scrolling through the Board for him. There are some pictures of Koro-sensei in poor disguises, some blurry snapshots of military men holding real ass machine guns, 3-E crowding around mid-conversation with a giant head in the sand as if they were being secretive about it all, and a picture of Saito taking a selfie in front of a hotel window as students in water flyboards try to shoot a yellow creature down in the background. 

“Not all of it at once,” Saito says. “We pieced together bits of it as the year went by.”

“You guys knew…” Takebayashi says. “I thought… we were keeping it a secret…”

“Very poorly,” Anaya says, from where she’s perched up by the teacher’s desk. “You’re giving me an aneurysm, Takebayashi. To be fair, none of the teachers know we know. Not even the Principal or the Japanese military.”

“We were also wondering if you could provide more input in what we’ve gathered so far,” Chika says. “I understand you’ve signed an NDA. It’s of course void, because we already know. You can still choose to abide by the NDA, although I don’t think Watanabe will forgive you.”

“I think Watanabe hates me,” Takebayashi shudders. Araki had to pry the girl off him when she came at Takebayashi with a stapler. 

“She just doesn’t like someone knowing more about this case than her,” Chika says. “She’s very protective of the Board.”

“San-san!” Anaya exclaims suddenly. Asano’s not in the room, however. She turns towards Takebayashi. “How is he, the poor dear? He’s very worked up recently.”

“Oh, um,” Takebayashi fiddles with his glasses. “Understandably. The Principal is a very extreme man.” 

“I wonder why he let you transfer over,” Yuu says from the front. She has a notebook open, but it’s empty. “Sure, it’s not unheard of, but it’s uncommon.”

“My grades have improved,” Takebayashi says, but he doesn’t sound convinced.

“Is the octopus a good teacher? All of you have seen a marked improvement.”

“He’s good,” Takebayashi says. “He works with our strengths. No offense, but it is a very drastic difference from… um…”

“3-A’s teachers don’t teach,” Toro interrupts. “That’s what you were going to say, weren’t you? It’s okay, we know. They have their credentials, but they lecture, not consult. We do well, because we are good learners.”

“Exactly!” Takebayashi says. “This system is meant to weed out the weak. No concessions are made for the weaker students.”

“That’s how it works, doesn’t it?” Anaya says. She’s standing on the teacher’s table now, looking off somewhere into the distance. She taps her cheek. “In any real world system, there will always be people that fall through the gaps. There is nothing in this world that can run without a hierarchy. It just so happens that the system benefits us, and we are at the top.” Then her gaze snaps over to Takebayashi and she hops down. “If the system changes, it doesn’t mean everyone becomes a winner or some idealistic shit like that. There will always be someone who loses. When 3-E took the higher spots during examinations last term, it doesn’t mean no one lost anything. Someone else came in last place, and they would have to suffer their own consequences.”

“Unless it’s a communist state,” Yuu says.

“True communism doesn’t exist,” Anaya retorts. “In any system, a governing party-”

“If I hear you guys go at this _again_ I’m going to flip,” Toro says. “Every single time we talk about the government-”

“Kunugigaoka is what we call a dictatorship poorly disguised as a meritocracy,” Araki pipes up. He goes back to reading.

“Why are we talking about this?” Takebayashi says, a little hysterically.

“Your transfer is throwing us into a bit of a disarray,” Seo sniffs. “The student body is clamoring for your statement about the events that have happened around 3-E so far.”

“We don’t really care about your grades,” Yuu says mildly. “We know that there is no way Principal Asano would demote any of us to be in E-Class, because if he wanted to he would already have, after last term’s results. Besides, it would really throw your octopus assassination mission up into the air, wouldn’t it? We still don’t know why you specifically got a transfer over but-”

“Principal Asano wants me to give a whole speech demeaning 3-E to the school,” Takebayashi blurts. “He wants me to describe my classmates as monsters!”

There’s a pause in 3-A as everyone exchanges bewildered glances, and Yuu is the first one to snort and roll her eyes. “Isogai as a monster? Please, everyone would know you’re full of it. Sakakibara would argue that Kanzaki is a literal angel.”

“Karma Akabane as a monster? Maybe,” Chika says. “I'll be really happy to never see Terasaka again, too. He tried to call me a nerd for coding back in second year. What an elementary school insult. Did he forget which school he’s in?” She rolls her eyes.

“As far as I’m concerned, there are only two monsters in this school,” Anaya says. “A giant yellow octopus that can blow up the world, and…” She puts her finger up to her lips, then points upwards several times. The principal’s office wasn’t directly above the 3-A classroom, but it was on the top floor of the building. The message gets passed anyways and everyone giggles. 

\--

“I can’t believe you guys managed to uncover so much!” Takebayashi is saying. “So much that 3-E doesn’t know about! The connection with Yukimura-sensei and Kayano, Koro-sensei’s laboratory experiments… Itona… how?”

“It’s not like it was very hard,” Watanabe rolls her eyes. Takebayashi shoots her a look.

“As class representative, Isogai and Kataoka should have had a name list of the students, including Itona Horibe,” Asano tells him. “A customary online search was within your means.”

Chika taps on her phone, and shows it to Takebayashi. “Horibe isn’t the most uncommon surname, but Horibe Electronics and it’s bankruptcy appears on the fifth result of a google search. The CEO of the company bears a remarkable resemblance to your classmate.”

“Airforce-sensei also appears fairly early in the google search,” Anaya points out. “Sure, it’s not first page, but still.”

“Late Yukimura-sensei’s ties to Yanagisawa’s laboratory was only drawn by Asano,” Chika says. “I suppose your class wouldn’t have known about it.”

“You have to admit you were the opposite of subtle,” Saito tells him. “Seriously. I have an entire vlog about you guys. Jelavic-sensei, too..”

“And to think all of this started because of Watanabe’s obsession with Haruna Mase,” Sato teases. Watanabe flips her ponytail over her shoulder and lifts her chin.

“Without me, you people wouldn’t have started this investigation in the first place,” she says, and jabs a finger in Takebayashi’s direction. “Remember that.”

“This is all so comprehensive...” Takebayashi says. “The research put into this. I wouldn’t have noticed a thing about Kayano… I didn’t even realize she was a transfer, although now I remember that she wasn’t a student with us in the lower years. I thought I’d simply missed her.”

“You were rather uninvolved,” Chika says, but not accusingly. “In fact, a lot of you in 3-E were rather displaced from the rest of the main campus. Maybe that’s a deliberate decision on Principal Asano’s part. Not everyone who dropped to 3-E were the strict worst students, after all, just deviations from the norm. If the main purpose of having a class E is for ostracization, it’d be easier if none of you were our friends.”

“We have theories on Haruna’s transfer,” Watanabe says, “although none of them stand out in particular. Revenge, for one, since the octopus caused the lab accident that killed her sister. Although you’ve said she hasn’t been the most involved in assassination, that and there’s no way she would have known that she would be part of the assassination team as your class was chosen for the assassination only after she’d been a member of the class. The second theory is that she simply wanted to pay respects to her sister’s old class.” 

She leans forward in her chair. “Of course, that brings up the issue of why the octopus came to your class anyways, especially if he killed Yukimura-sensei. Did he kill her in order to take her place as a teacher, and if yes, why? If he killed her and found a convenient opening as a teacher and decided to apply, well, what was his motivation? He’s a moon destroying supercreature.”

“You did bring up an interesting point I’ve been pondering over,” Asano says abruptly. “I assumed the military, particularly Karasuma-sensei, had been the main instructor for your class’s assassination techniques. Although now you’re saying that Koro-sensei, apart from the regular subjects, is also your assassination arts teacher.”

“Assassination Arts is a cute way of calling it,” Anaya says.

“Well, yes,” Takebayashi says. “Koro-sensei has taught us rather insightful assassination tips. Karasuma-sensei teaches us how to fight and handle weapons. Bitch-sensei, despite being an actual assassin, only teaches us languages. Koro-sensei is the person that teaches us how to, well, kill. It’s rather odd, given that he’s an octopus, but he knows a lot about which pressure points to strike or the best ways to-”

“That’s it,” Asano snaps his fingers. “That confirms your Koro-sensei was once a human. Not only is it ridiculous for a giant octopus to have hidden incognito for as long as he did before having a dramatic reveal and blowing up the moon, it’s impossible for an octopus to have such intimate knowledge of how to kill as a human. Which brings up the next line of inquiry.”

The table leans in. “What is it?”

“Koro-sensei was a human assassin.”

There’s a pause. Everyone looks to Asano to continue.

“How would he be able to teach a subject he himself is not educated in?” Asano says. “You do not learn about the art of assassination from a youtube video, or a textbook. You learn it from another assassin.”

“That’s…” Takebayashi breathes . “I never… thought about that.”

“Of course,” Asano says mildly. He stands up. “I have to take my leave. Maybe you all could ruminate about this and let me know of any breakthroughs.”

“Koro-sensei is an assassin…” Takebayashi thinks. “He’s not… what I expected from an assassin… but honestly, neither is Bitch-sensei… what if he really is? He talks about it all the time like it’s nothing!”

“There’s so much more we need to look into!” Watanabe says. “Dammit!” She whirls on Takebayashi again. “If only you paid attention in class!”

“I’m paying attention to the important things!” Takebayashi protests, but it’s futile. Sato wrestles the stapler from her again.

“It’d be nice to have a contact,” Chika admits. “It’d aid in our investigations. Although I don’t think Asano is keen on us contacting Jelavic-sensei again.”

Takebayashi looks between them. “Actually, I’m thinking of transferring back to 3-E.”

“Why?” Chika says.

“I’m not saying Main Campus is a terrible place to be,” Takebayashi says, holding both his hands up in defense. “I’ve been thinking about it, and the learning environment just isn’t suitable. I dropped to E after all, if I wish to keep my grades up, I probably need to go back to E again.”

“That’s seems best,” Anaya agrees.”I don’t think you can keep up with our pace, anyways. Koro-sensei’s teaching methods work for you, and ours work for us.”

“How are you going to go about it?” Chika says. “We know Principal Asano allowed your transfer to discourage 3-E. He won’t let you go back so easily.”

“You said you had to give a speech demeaning 3-E, right?” Anaya says. “Do you wish to go back because you don’t want to give the speech? They’re your friends, after all.”

Takebayashi doesn’t answer.

“If it makes it any better, we can just tell everyone else at Main you were lying,” Saito says. “Whatever Principal Asano makes you say. It’s not like you can tell him no.”

“I don’t know how I’ll go about getting the transfer,” Takebayashi lies. “I’ll think about it.”

\--

Takebayashi has it right, on a couple of things. Firstly, if he told his plan to the other students, they’ll probably dissuade him with words or force or otherwise, because his plan left an angry Principal Asano (and the rest of Main to suffer his wrath), and more mess for Asano junior to clean up. 

Secondly, Chika was right because Principal Asano would never let him go back to 3-E as easy as that.

Thirdly, if Takebayashi stole a plaque from the Principal’s office and smashed it to tiny smithereens in front of the entire school, there really wasn’t room for argument on whether or not he could still stay in Main Campus. 

The look on Asano’s face told Main that this move was entirely unplanned.

“That bitch,” Chika says, half in awe and half in horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus concludes Takebayashi's arc. He'll still be involved in Main Campus main theorizing, although it takes a while for them to forgive him. He and Irina exchange conspiratorial looks often. 
> 
> OC Recap:  
> Chika! She appears a lot this chapter, because I want Takebayashi to have a familiar face around and I think it would make sense. She's not a canon character. Here she's in 3-A and she's the President of the Computing Club, the club that Takebayashi was previously a part of before he dropped to 3-E.  
> Anaya: bringing her up again because she has more speaking roles this chapter. She's in 3-A and the heiress of a coffee empire. She has CEO blood and I think it shows in this chapter.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we kickstart our newest arc with the main campus kids. Shortly following Takebayashi's time, Isogai takes centre stage in Leader Time (S2 Ep 5). This should take about 2-3 chapters. 
> 
> Also if you scrolled through this fic recently I added  
> \--  
> as scene blockers within the chapters! I had previously just left a double space between scenes but Rellionna (thanks hon) did mention it was not as clear, so we now have scene blockers!

“Maybe we should destress a little bit,” Sakakibara is saying. “We should destress a bit. Let’s go out for a fun day. Huh? The five of us?”

“No time,” Asano mutters. Handful of papers, he straightens up and stalks straight out of 3-A. Sakakibara is left staring after him mournfully. Tanaka comes up and pats him on the back.

“I worry about that boy,” Anaya says. “A day out is exactly what he needs.”

“A fun day,” Araki says. “That sounds nice. If we ambush him, he can’t get out of it.”

“If we ambush him, we might die,” Sakakibara says. “That’s a great idea. Catch him by the school gates? He has an extra-curricular till three in the afternoon.”

“I’ll tell Koyama and Seo,” Araki says. 

“There’s a cafe downtown I’ve been meaning to try,” Sakakibara says. “Have you guys heard about it? Yuna? You go to lots of cafes.”

“No clue,” Yuna says. “I’ve heard of it, yes. It’s nothing special, and it’s rather out of the way for me, so I haven’t dropped by.”

Toro raises a hand absently. “Walked past it once. Looked cozy.”

“Well, as long as there's no terrible reviews," Sakakibara shrugs. "I read online that the service was good." 

"Hopefully he'd be less stressed tomorrow," Anaya says. 

\--

"You know, glasses-idiot pisses me off," Watanabe is saying to Sato. "He really has the nerve, talking to me like I'm an idiot. After the stunt he pulled, I'll gut him if I ever see him again!" 

"Why? What did he say?" 

“He says he’s worried about Asano,” Watanabe frowns at her phone screen. “If he was worried, he wouldn’t have done that in the first place-”

“He has guts, I’d give him that,” Sato says, and Watanabe elbows him in the ribs.

“By the way, we were right,” Watanabe says. “Itona Horibe is really the son from the CEO of Horibe Electronics. The class found out recently. It’s really sad, apparently after the company went down, Horibe’s father threw him onto the streets. He was picked up by that Shiro guy who used him for scientific experiments, particularly the tentacles. This confirms that the Yanagisawa Labs and Shiro are connected. Then Shiro realized Itona couldn’t beat Koro-sensei and just abandoned him. The tentacles were hurting him as well, but as of yesterday he’s officially part of 3-E and tentacle free!”

“So we’ll be seeing him with the rest of the class now?” Sato says. 

“During assemblies and stuff, yeah,” Watanabe says. “That’s kind of nice. I’m glad 3-E managed to do something for him.”

“Why are so many people hung up on hurting kids?” Sato says. “We’re fifteen, what do they want with us? First Takaoka, now Shiro. Honestly, even the octopus coming in is sketchy, he’s putting all the 3-E kids at so much risk with however much assassins they end up encountering!”

“Must be a running theme with this school, then,” Watanabe says.

\--

“Holy shit,” Sakakibara peers into the cafe’s window. “Is that-”

“Yuuma Isogai from 3-E!” Koyama says. “He’s working here?”

“The other 3-E kids are here too. And, um, their octopus teacher in a terrible disguise,” Seo says. “That’s against school policy, isn’t that right, Asano?”

Asano glares at Isogai through the cafe window. “Yes, it is.” He crosses his arms and steps in, the four trailing behind. Everyone startles at their entrance, and there’s an audible “oh no” from one of the 3-E kids.

“This is your second time flouting school policy,” Asano says. 

Isogai looks nervous. “Let’s take this outside.”

“The last time you were caught holding a job, they punted you to E Class without a second thought,” Asano says coldly. “Such a shame. Have you done no soul searching since then?”

Next to Sakakibara, Araki tugs at his sleeve. Sakakibara shrugs helplessly.

“Asano,” Isogai says. His eyes are wide and pleading. “I’m begging you, keep this on the down-low. You know I need the money.” Everyone does. Isogai has secondhand textbooks and he uses wooden pencils down to their little stubs. It’s no question he’s not as well off as most of the students in Kunugigaoka, and his family can just barely afford the hefty fees.

“I don’t know,” Asano says. “Perhaps we can be gentlemanly about all this. I’ll keep your dirty little secret, on condition that you show me your  _ fighting spirit _ .”

“Fighting spirit?” The 3-E kids echo amongst themselves, throwing Asano aghast looks. Even the four look between each other. 

“Our school has a proud tradition of revering those who can hold their own, in class and in life,” Asano says, all faux cheer. That sounds like something the Principal would say, all verbatim. “The school sports festival is coming up. The pole toppling tournament is amongst one of the events. If E-Class can beat the Main Campus in that tournament, I’ll keep your secret.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I switched the dialogue up a little bit, so it fits this universe. In the english dub episode i rewatched for "research", the 5 Virtuosos had heard "rumors" of a schoolmate working at Isogai's restaurant, which is why they chose to drop by. The conversation after Isogai's "let's take this outside" is lifted from the english dub, although the Four V's actions aren't. They spend most of the commotion just standing behind Asano. It's kind of funny to watch.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've grown unnecessarily attached to these OCs. I appreciate every single one of you who haven't grown tired of them or found them too much of a hassle to read past either, (given the fact that you've made it all this way to chapter 22), thank you so much! My main goal is still trying to write it so that you don't have to keep track of everyone's identities to be able to read a coherent story! 
> 
> But I can't resist giving them their own little lives and feelings and peppering them into this fic _may_ make it confusing if yall haven't been keeping up with who is who. I apologize in advance for that for this chapter so I thought I'll do a little OC intro at the beginning instead of the end notes this time! (For reasons.)
> 
> OC recap (for reasons)  
> Kaito Tsubara: (That's right, I gave him a first name.) He's in class 3-B, first mentioned by name all the way in chapter 1 as one of the people who climbed the 3-E mountain for fun last year. He's Judo Club President because I think a martial arts sort of club exist in most schools, even if it was never mentioned in canon. He and Asano spar sometimes. He also has a crush on Sato, (3-B, baseball club, Watanabe's friend) which was brought up for the first time (and thus far only time) in chapter 11. You know, until this.

“Maybe the cafe wasn’t such a good idea after all,” Sakakibara admits.

“Can he even do that? I mean, Asano’s just the student council president. He doesn’t actually have jurisdiction over the school rules. It’s up to the teachers and the school board to decide whether or not to punish Isogai, right?”

“Yes, but the school board doesn’t know about it now. It’s a matter of whether Asano wishes to raise it to the board. If he chooses to keep it a secret, then Isogai can get off scot free.”

“Wouldn’t it be pretty easy for 3-E to beat us, then?” Chika says. “I mean, we’re not exactly known for our athleticism. Meanwhile the 3-E kids have their assassin physical training going for them.”

“Maybe he wants to give them an easy victory, to save Isogai’s job?” Toro says, but he sounds hesitant. 

“No, he’d never publicly lose at anything,” Sakakibara says. “He must have a plan on how to win, and some ulterior motive.”

“So what? Isogai loses his job?” Yuu says, frowning.

“I don’t know he’ll go through with that yet,” Sakakibara says. “That boy never tells me anything. After the loss we suffered during last term’s examinations  _ and _ Takebayashi’s stunt, I’m assuming he needs a public win to keep the Principal happy.”

“In the one competition we’re almost guaranteed to lose,” Koyama says. “I wonder what he’ll come up with.”

\--

As it turns out, Asano’s grand plan for beating 3-E at a sports event is to find sportier people. Four exchange students from Brazil, France, Korea and America, who have arrived in Japan in some abroad training program (either by coincidence or their student council leader’s very crafty and scary methods), have decided to come by Kunugigaoka for the sole purpose of the pole toppling tournament. 

Yeah, no one else is sure either.

“He’d go that far for just one match?” Koyama says in shock, watching Asano converse with all four of them - in their own languages, even. 

“There’s no way we’ll lose now,” Anaya deadpans.

As it turns out, all four of them are athletes in their home schools. One could barely tell they were fifteen because they stood towering over Asano, who was not a short boy for his age by any means. 

“They’re so big,” Seo says. “Are these guys really fifteen years old?”

“Yeah,” Asano says. “Camille is the next generation’s ace at a famous wrestling gym in France. Sang Hyuk is a rising star in the Korean basketball world. Jose is the son of an international fighter from Brazil. And then there’s Kevin, the American junior football representative. They’re all legitimately our age.”

Koyama is off blabbering nonsense as Jose stares him down. He’s making a brilliant impression for Kunugigaoka. 

“If I hid ages, though, we’d have even more stalwart friends, but I’ll abide by the rules of common sense.” Asano says breezily.

“So you say,” Araki says, smiling with mild exasperation. “It’s not common sense for a middle school student to freely manipulate four different languages to call for foreign aid.”

“I can just see class E’s faces of despair,” Toro deadpans. 

\--

“Kaito Tsubara,” he introduces himself in English. Asano had asked him to be on the pole-toppling team to go against 3-E, which he’s rather excited about. He’d missed out on a couple of close encounters with the strange 3-E happenings so far, but he gets to be up close with them this time and he’s not going to waste the opportunity. “I’m sorry, my English is choppy. Welcome to Kunugigaoka.”

They’re gathered in the sports hall, waiting. Chika has buzzed by with a message that Asano has gone to the lion’s den again - he’s getting called to the Principal’s office a lot more frequently, it must be the reason for his bad mood. Everyone else is just milling about.

“Tsubara! Asano tells me the Japanese greet each other by last names.” The American says. “You can just call me Kevin.”

“Has he explained the mechanics of the pole toppling tournament to you?” Tsubara asks. “It’s a pretty big deal,” he pauses, “not the game mechanics, I mean. Winning the game is a big deal for him.”

“I’d reckon it’d be an easy feat,” the other one, the Frenchman, says. “The Japanese are a fragile race. I do not know why Asano requires our assistance.”

“Yes,” Tsubara smiles wryly. “The students we are going up against all have physical training. They may look small, but they are very strong.”

The Korean boy laughs. “After meeting Asano, I learnt that size doesn’t measure strength!”

Tsubara snickers at that. It’s one of the few times someone calls Asano small, although looking at the four, it’s clear that Asano is tiny as compared to them. “He is very tiny,” Tsubara says in a mock whisper, giggling. ”His waist is so small! When we spar, I can almost wrap my hands around it!-”

“-What are you guys laughing about?”

Tsubara whirls around, knocking his shin into the bleachers. He swears he’s more elegant on the ring. “Sato! Hey, hi! We were just… talking... about Asano… you know he’s very, uhm, tiny… not like that! Like… his waist… it’s very small and nice, um, to hold… I’ll stop talking, please don’t tell him I said that… uh I didn’t know you were competing too!”

“Oh, I’m not,” Sato says, smiling. “I just came to say hi.”

“Right! Um, hi!” Tsubara says. There’s a beat of silence between them. “Oh, hi! Yes!” He switches to bad english again. “Sato, these are the exchange students, Kevin, um… Sang Hyuk, Camille, Jose! Guys, this is Sato.”

“It’s pronounced Jose,” Jose says.

“I’m so sorry,” Tsubara says.

“Nice to meet all of you,” Sato says, in nice fluent English. “I just dropped by to say hi. I have to get going.” He touches Tsubara’s elbow gently. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah! Yes, sure, yes, we have class tomorrow. Like we do. Every weekday.”

Sato’s eyes crinkle at the side. When he leaves, Tsubara turns to see the four laughing at him. “I swear I’m more eloquent in… other situations.”

\--

“Why do I have to hear from the four that you’re bad at flirting?” Asano puts an arm around him. He seems significantly less stressed, even after the visit to the Principal’s office. It must be because of the victory he’s already got in the bag.

“What?!” Tsubara says. His voice drops to a whisper. “They understand Japanese?!”

“You don’t have to understand Japanese to know you’re bad at flirting,” Asano teases him. “But yes, they do. It’s a minimum requirement to apply for an exchange.”

“Oh,” Tsubara says. “Wait, then why were you speaking to them in other lang- you just like showing off, don’t you.”

“You know I do,” Asano shrugs. Then his smirk turns wicked. “Also, I’m nice to hold?”

“Those traitors-”

\--

“Glasses says 3-E are seriously geared up for the tournament,” Watanabe says. “Whatever Asano said must have pissed them off.”

“He has a way with words, that boy,” Sato says wryly. “It feels strange, doesn’t it?”

“Hm? What does?”

“I mean, it seems like all the odds are against them now,” Sato says. “I’ve met the exchange kids, they’re pretty terrifying. I mean, there should be no way that 3-E wins, right?”

“But?” Watanabe prompts.

“But this whole year feels like it’s been a case of the underdogs coming out on top,” Sato says, “the underdogs being 3-E, of course. Do you think they’ll win again?”

“I don’t want to say I want 3-E to lose,” Watanabe says, “but I hope they do. Asano’s pulling out all the stops this time, so it must mean something. The Principal is on a live wire.”

“I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes,” Sato says. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The four exchange kids' details are lifted from the Manga! I don't think they went into too much detail with the anime. Some dialogue is of course made up, but some are lifted from the manga, which is hilarious - everything in the second scene was taken verbatim from the manga, although some dialogue doesn't match up with the original speaker because I wanted some OCs in the scene. 
> 
> One of the exchange kids does call the Japanese a "fragile race" and Sang Hyuk does say that Asano's "size doesn't measure strength" (how flattering). The conversation after that is completely ad-libbed but that one manga panel where Asano is surrounded by the four does make him look incredibly tiny. It's kinda cute.
> 
> Also! I think it's interesting to see yall guys reactions to flipped perspectives, HAHA even though they're so much nicer (more human?) here than they are in canon. We already know the outcome of the sports festival. I think my bias shows in my writing that I just really really love lil baby Gakushuu Asano but (???) That's the point of this whole fic. I have more commentary but I'll reserve that for the next few chapters, I should stop making my notes this long.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the climax of the Leader Time episode! We already know how things are going to go down.
> 
> Shameless self promo and pushing an agenda: if you guys are not Karushuu shippers, you should be. Why? Because I love them. This fic isn't going to have karushuu in it but I have other fics WITH karushuu in it. Don't like Karushuu? May I offer some rarepair ships: karmaxkayano, karmaxitona, gakushuuxitona, gakuhouxkarasuma (don't @ me)
> 
> kjhkl i'm tired

It’s no surprise to anyone that on the day of the sports festival, 3-E breezes through every activity to come in first place. They’re all physically fit, and it’s obvious to see how much they’ve bulked up. It’s harder to notice in the school jackets and during assembly, but the school PE uniforms show off their muscles.

The students make enough of a fanfare for losing just to keep the cover, but the result is expected. Of course, they’re still put out by losing, but it’s not at the forefront of their concerns. They’re more interested in the pole-toppling tournament exhibition match, which is bound to be interesting. It’s not so much of betting for the loser or winner, but more of how close the fight would get.

“Have you seen their arms? It’d be a close fight. I’d say… fifteen minutes.”

“Are you kidding? Sure, they’re stronger now, but the foreign athletes are just on a different league! I’d say Asano beats them in five minutes, tops.”

Itona Horibe is finally seen in public. Ritsu, on the other hand, of course isn’t. 3-E really knew how to keep a consistent story, didn’t they?

“Why get a decoy Ritsu to take exams if they’re not going to get a decoy for anytime else?” Watanabe says, watching the scene boredly. “What’s the point? It’s not like there would be any real consequences if she just missed exams altogether. Why get a decoy Ritsu and not a decoy Horibe, if they’re going to both be students that are unable to show up?”

Speaking of conspicuous secrets, Koro-sensei is just… there. He’s simply just there, watching and cheering. There’s a blanket over his head. Is that a disguise? Is that actually supposed to be a disguise?

From across the field, Takebayashi looks over at Main Campus. He gives Watanabe a dead-eyed stare. In response, she sticks her middle finger up at him.

Of course, then the pole toppling tournament begins proper. Everyone sits up a little bit straighter in their seats. The four exchange students are a menacing sight even when the students know they’re on the same team, and 3-E look justifiably intimidated. Asano is standing in the middle of it all, arms crossed with a lazy smirk on his face.

The referee’s whistle blows. Within seconds, people are running and jumping and knocking things over. The ring-leader for 3-E is none other than Isogai, and he looks worried. Main pities him, almost, but this is what it’s like going up against Asano when he’s on the warpath.

\--

The unthinkable happens. 3-A’s pole hits the floor. 

The shock ripples through the stands. There’s a lull in the background chatter. 

3-E turned the tides with Itona Horibe, who performed a terrifying high jump and smashed into the top of the pole where Asano was clinging onto.

Well, no. 3-E had been leaning towards victory halfway through the match when Takebayashi and Terasaka had somehow cornered the exchange students, and there was no way for the students of Main Campus to rationalize it - how could they be losing again? They had all the odds in their favor this time! Maybe they were secretly hoping for Asano to be able to hold 3-E away from his pole long enough for the rest of the team to regroup, but...

“Araki,” Principal Asano says pleasantly as he comes up behind him, and it takes all of Araki’s effort not to scream. He does flinch a little. “Yes, sir?”

“Do tell Asano I wish to speak to him in my office when he gets cleaned up,” Principal Asano says smoothly. “Do invite the exchange students as well.”

“Of course, sir!” Araki says, faux-cheerily. He stays perfectly still until Principal Asano disappears, and then he slowly turns to stare in terror at everyone else around him, still frozen in their seats.

“I guess we should…” Sakakibara coughs. “Um, start cleaning up?”

\--

“Tsubara.”

“Asano!” Tsubara whirls around, a smile starting on his face, but it immediately falls. Asano has his arms crossed, but his head is lowered and his shoulders are tense. He’s glaring, but it’s not directed at Tsubara. 

“Hey… Asano… how was… the Principal…?-”

“Call an ambulance.”

Tsubara’s jaw drops. “Wh- what- why? Are you-”

“Call an ambulance,” Asano repeats, harsher. Tsubara’s mouth clicks shut.

Asano turns to leave, but Tsubara grabs him by the upper arm. Asano tries to wrench his hand away and glares, teeth bared, but Tsubara stubbornly holds on. “I’m not letting you run off until you tell me what’s wrong!”

“It’s not for me,” Asano says, and all of a sudden he looks tired, and hurt. He gently tugs Tsubara in the direction from which he came. There’s a little study area branching out from the main corridor, and when Tsubara rounds the corner he sees the four exchange students sprawled around the place. They’re all bleeding, holding red cloths to open wounds. They scarcely glance in their direction when they enter.

“What the fuck happened?” Tsubara gasps. “How did- but- weren’t you guys just called to the p… principal’s office…”

Asano leans into him for barely a second, fingers digging into Tsubara’s biceps for the briefest moment, but then he has his head held high and he’s walking down the corridor again like nothing ever happened. Tsubara immediately pulls his phone out.

\--

“Asano!” Sakakibara spots him heading towards the field. He takes off immediately, with the other three Virtuosos at his heels. Asano looks up at them and frowns as they come up to him.

“How’s things?” Sakakibara says hesitantly. “Everything go okay?”

Before Asano replies, Tsubara comes running out after them. “Ambulance is on it’s way. Oh, hey guys.”   
“Ambulance?! What?! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s not me,” Asano says, stilted. Tsubara catches Koyama and Seo’s eyes and he lifts his phone, shaking his head. The other students - Sato, Watanabe, Yuna - on the way to the storerooms pop by to check on the situation, but warning looks are exchanged to stall discussion. 

They mill around in tense silence and Yuna awkwardly cracks jokes until the paramedics show up, by which Tsubara straightens up and leads them back towards the school building. Sato exchanges a perplexed glance with everyone else, and quietly follows.

As if things couldn’t be worse, 3-E shows up.

“Hey! Asano!” Maehara storms up. “You’re not going to go back on your word, right? About keeping quiet about Isogai’s job.”

Sakakibara bristles. Asano scowls at them. “I don’t lie. Unlike you guys, I don’t use underhanded methods.”

Isogai laughs nervously, stepping up. “That was a very exciting match! It was just what I expected of your command, I couldn’t tell who was going to win until the end. Let’s have another match sometime!” 

The Virtuosos hope that, for everyone’s sake, Main Campus doesn’t lose the next match. Asano must not be feeling magnanimous this time and who can blame him? He turns around, ignoring Isogai’s outstretched hand. “It won’t turn out this way next time. I’ll drive you all towards destruction.”

“What a sore loser!” Terasaka laughs. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Nakamura says, “I can’t hear the cries of a loser anyways!”

“Oh shut up!” Yuna snaps, whipping around. 

“Can’t take a little bit of beating, A-Class!?” Nakamura yells. 

“What do you know about a beating!-” 

Watanabe pulls Yuna back. “Let’s just go.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “They don’t know anything.”

“Asano’s been through a lot,” Takebayahi says loudly, and all attention snaps towards him. “He’s struggling under certain circumstances.”

Isogai laughs a little, giving 3-A a little bit of a sheepish grin. “If you compare me to him, my situation doesn’t amount to much,” he says.

“Remember what you say,” Watanabe says. 

“Don’t forget, before you were all in 3-E,” Yuna says, finger jabbing at the ground, “you were here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu is my lil bean 
> 
> Okay some notes! How the events play out is different in the anime and the manga, so I cherry-picked from both. There's nothing to say about scenes 1 and 2 (as per the scene blockers) and the true deviation starts after the Principal beats the shit out of the foreign exchange students. I didn't write that exchange in because it's a main campus commentary fic and they'll witness the aftermath! I don't think I've actually written much from Gakushuu's perspective (even though he appears a lot). 
> 
> How the actual "cleaning up" of the exchange kids are never addressed in either the manga or the anime. However, in one specific panel in chapter 94 of the manga, Asano can be seen directing paramedics towards the school building in the background. (It's witnessed by the 3-E kids but they don't bring it up.) In the anime it's replaced with Asano talking to the Virtuosos, who look like they're moving things around on a cart. And in this fic, I included the paramedics and the ambulance but I have Tsubara do it instead because he's baby.
> 
> The following exchange between Asano and 3-E partially happens canonically, which I took from the manga because I didn't want to replay the episode continuously to catch the words. The anime dialogue is essentially the same. I lifted the words starting from Maehara in the last scene, all the way to Nakamura's "I can't hear the cries of a loser anyways!" 
> 
> However, what Takebayashi and Isogai say is also canon as per the manga! In the anime, it's Isogai who says something to defend Asano along the lines of "I don't know him enough to judge him", and Takebayashi's words are omitted. I've grown attached to Takebayashi recently so I couldn't exclude him! I almost made the Main kids and 3-E fight more, but i decided not to stray too far from canon. I want 3-e to be portrayed as exactly who they are! Not in a bad way, in just a flipped-perspective way, you know? I still love them.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter! No real plot advancement happens here, it's just the Main kids talking and reflecting a little on what has happened thus far. Everyone's a little traumatized. Whatever Yuna said in the last chapter "before the 3-E kids were in 3-E, they were *here*". This chapter expands a little bit on that! 
> 
> Once again I'm not here to bash on the 3-E kids, I just had a lot of fun imagining what the other perspective would be. The Main kids are a little cynical and scathing in their remarks sometimes against 3-E but it's all in good faith! Well good faith in the sense of me writing it, not of them insulting 3-E.

“Did you hear? The four exchange students got hospitalized.”

“Tsubara tried talking to them. They won’t say what happened.”

“It happened after they went to the Principal’s office, right?”

“How about Asano?”

“You know he won’t say anything. Not when...”

“I don’t think it’s any secret what happened.”

“How old are they again? The exchange students?”

“They’re our age! They’re fifteen!”

“Seriously? That’s…”

“Is that… allowed? I mean, of course not but… what’s going to happen? Is anything going to happen?”

“I mean… if there’s no evidence…”

“What more evidence is needed? He fucking - they’re in the hospital!”

“You know what -  _ you know what he’s like.  _ He’s going to say some shit like it was all some mutual spar _. _ ”

“There’s sparring and then there’s just directly beating people up. That’s not going to fly.”

“No one’s going to say anything.”

“We got rid of Takaoka, we could-”

“Yeah, but remember  _ who _ got rid of Takaoka?”

“Isn’t there the goddamn fucking military just up the hill? Why aren’t they doing anything?!”

“The military were the ones who  _ hired Takaoka in the first place _ . It’s clear we - and not just Main, 3-E too - are not their priority. They just want to get rid of the octopus. If they cared about the kids, this whole situation wouldn't have happened in the first place - who thought it was a good idea to let some world-destroyer teach a class? That's not a thing! That's fucked up no matter how many ways you spin it!”

“God this… this is so messed up.”

\--

“-San probably just did his whole ‘I’m a pompous rich boy and I’m better than you’ thing,” Anaya says. “I like him when he does that. It’s very cute.”

“Only you would find that cute,” Watanabe snorts. “I think he’s much cuter when he’s  _ not _ trying to be a pompous bitchboy.”

“What can I say? It’s in my DNA,” Anaya flips her hair. “Maybe I’m just genetically inclined to be attracted to wealth.”

“Eat the rich,” Rukiyo lazily calls out.

“You’re the opposite of a trophy wife,” Yuu tells Anaya. “But you need a trophy husband. Asano is not.”

“I want to be a trophy wife,” Yuna drapes herself dramatically over Yuu’s worksheets, only to get her forehead flicked.

“Who do you think Asano likes?” Anaya says.

“Probably someone smart,” Yuu says. “He seems like the kind of guy who would appreciate brains over beauty. I bet if you asked him out with coffee he’d say yes.”

“Didn’t Rio Nakamura tie with Asano during last examinations?” Yuna says.

“Nakamura and Asano? Ugh,” Anaya rolls her eyes.

“Asano doesn’t like lazy people,” Yuu says. “He works hard, he’d want his partner to have someone equally as dedicated and passionate in their work. 

“Besides, the 3-E kids hate our guts,” Rukiyo says. “No way they’ll think about going out with Asano.”

Anaya crosses her arms. “Why not the other way around?”

“Well, I don’t think Asano hates anyone,” Rukiyo says. “Except maybe his dad.”

“I don’t think he hates his dad at all,” Yuna says quietly. “I think he misses him.”

“They see each other every day,” Anaya says.

“I would miss my dad too, if he was always my principal,” Yuna says. 

There’s a silence between them.

“I don’t think it’s fair, that 3-E hates us,” Yuna says abruptly. “I don’t want them to hate us.”

“Takebayashi doesn’t hate us,” Watanabe says. 

“That’s because he knows,” Rukiyo says. “They must think we’re terrible. We have to point fingers at them in assembly, and now they thought Asano was trying to get Isogai fired...”

“Well it’s not fair,” Yuna says. “They were in Main Campus too, once. They were part of the student body that pointed fingers at our 3-E seniors last year, and two years ago. They don’t get to make us out like we’re some big bullies that oppress them just because we work for our grades. We don’t want to be in their position, and that’s why we do what we do. Just last year they were among us, doing the exact same thing, and now they decide we’re terrible people?”

Yuu frowns. “Where is all this coming from, hon?”

“I saw Okano the other day before the festival,” Yuna says. “She said Asano is going too far, and if I was still her friend I’d see it and tell him. It’s like she doesn’t even remember who she was last year! Like we didn’t sit together and listen to the same spiel on how terrible it must be to fall to class 3-E for two whole years! And then after the sports festival! They’re all going on about how we’re being sore losers!”

“We didn’t choose to put them in 3-E,” Yuu says. “Perhaps they’re undeserving, as well, but we’re part of the system like they are.”

“Nakamura could have gotten first place all this while,” Anaya says. “And she deliberately flunked? What was the point? What did she want to prove?”

“Kunugigaoka doesn’t reward solely for academic aptitude, but also on attitude,” Yuu says. “Takebayashi wasn’t quite good enough to come back to 3-A. Ranked solely on grades, he would have been in B.”

“I’d probably be in B as well just by grades,” Anaya says, frowning.

“But you’re a club president,” Yuu says. “Nakamura Rio and Akabane Karma are intelligent, and evidently rivaling Asano. They just don’t work for it.”

“At least not all of them hates us,” Watanabe says quietly. “Takebayashi is on our side. Isogai too, I think. Or at least he’s compassionate enough to not think we’re the worst.”

“We should just tell them.” Anaya says. “That we know. What’s the point of keeping it a secret?”

“Then what? The military is going to have to get involved. Principal Asano too, if he knows we’ve been… keeping so much from him. If he knows  _ Asano _ had been keeping so much from him.”

Yuna buries her face in her hands. “I just wish we could do something, other than just sit around and wait.”

“We don’t even know what we can do.”

\--

“Well they’re doing much better,” Tsubara says, grinning a little strained. “No lasting damage! Just a few sprains and broken noses. A fracture or two. Um, maybe a concussion… but they’ll be fine!”

“That’s nice to hear,” Sato says.

“Maybe we should send them a card,” Toro says.

“A gift basket,” Rukiyo says. 

There’s a pause.

“I don’t think a card or a gift basket would suffice,” Toro says.

“They’re going back to their home countries,” Tsubara stares at his phone, frowning. “I doubt we’ll be able to catch them. I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want to stay here any longer either.”

“They’re not going to do anything?” Rukiyo says, bursting out of her seat. “Like, I don’t know, call the cops? Sue?”

“No.”

“So we just… do nothing?” 

“...Guess so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's a little hurt, confused and helpless. Even in canon, I don't think they could have done anything even if they wanted to. If Principal Asano tells you to laugh, you laugh. Otherwise you might go into his office and leave on a stretcher.
> 
> Also i feel like my bias and love for Gakushuu is shining through as this fic goes on but ??? I think that's obvious if yall have read the rest of my stuff/been tagging along with me for a while. I'm also becoming increasingly attached to my OCs and I'm already shipping more people together (other than Sato and Tsubara, obviously). Bonus points if you can guess who by the time it happens!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two exams down, two more to go next week! How is everyone else? 
> 
> You know, I'm being too mean to 3-E. I'll cut them some slack this chapter.

This term’s examinations are here again. Main Campus tackles the examinations with a renewed vigor, determined not to lose out again. According to Watanabe according to Takebayashi, 3-E had made a terrible mistake. In the midst of their hubris, they had parkoured over buildings and accidentally injured a man on the ground floor. Their teachers had dealt them a punishment that consisted of them volunteering for a nursery school that the man worked for. In addition, they were prohibited from studying for this set of midterms. 

It was a strange punishment. The volunteering part they could understand, but not studying? That was strange. Still, they pick up doubly on their work. 3-E at the disadvantage this time could put their own grades back on status quo. 

The results reflect that achievement appropriately. 3-E has fallen once again to the bottom of the cohort, and everyone else is back where they have always been. The only exception was that Karma Akabane was in second place just after Asano, but that was nothing. It was almost a welcome change, reminiscent of their earlier years’ examinations.

“Never have I been so glad to see 3-E fail,” Yuna says, sprawled over her desk. Asano had stared wordlessly at the result spreadsheet for so long that Sakakibara went to check on him, but then he lets out the biggest sigh of relief. 

3-E are there, looking dismayed at their results. There’s a brief beat of silence between them as they glare at Asano like he’d personally victimized them. 

“What’s their problem?” Anaya turns her nose up, whispering to Yuu. “They already got last term’s examinations, the Okinawa trip, and the sports festival. All we got to do was clean up blood.”

“Hubris,” Yuu lowly mutters to her.

Then Araki says loudly, “I knew it, the last time was a fluke!”

“There was no need to crush them in the pole-toppling tournament,” Seo agrees.

3-E look ready to fight. 

“Speechless, huh,” Koyama baits. Which is a stupid move because he would probably break something if Sugino had decided to deck him.

“Grades are everything at this school,” Sakakibara says, as much a reminder to himself and the rest of 3-A than it is to 3-E. “Those at the bottom have no right to speak to those on top!”

Then Akabane says, “he-h, then you guys can’t say anything to me, right?”

Oh boy, 3-E brought their attack dog. Everyone in A takes a cautionary step back, save for Asano who stands in place with a well painted bored look on his face. “Don’t you get it?” He says, the number 2 result slip in his hands. “I’m the only one that was serious this time round. Everyone else in class E held back for you guys.”

He turns around, and smirks at them. “They said you guys would lose face if you lost all the time!”

There’s more to lose than face in this game they’re playing. There are high expectations and hospital bills and children leaving school to go back to houses they don’t want to be in. Not even just Asano, too. 

No one speaks out to Akabane, obviously. They just watch him go, flanked by the other 3-E students.

\--

“Sort through a pile of 3-E kids, pick out a handful, and you have maybe one or two out of five kids that seem to have something going terribly in their life for them,” Watanabe says. “What about those statistics in Main Campus? We have easily 6 times their class size in the rest of the cohort. Like all of us are born geniuses that can just decide we don’t want to be smart as we are because ‘we’ll be the odd ones out’? You know what that is? That’s privilege.”

“No offence, Takebayashi,” Anaya says, “but I literally don’t give a fuck about how there’s so much pressure at home because your parents are pushing you to get As. This is fucking Kunugigaoka! Do a random lottery and 90% of the students here have the same spiel.”

“None taken,” Takebayashi says mildly. “But you have to cut 3-E slack. They don’t understand.” 

“What’s so hard to understand?” Yuna snaps. “If their parents are mad because they get Cs and Ds, our parents will also get mad if we get Cs and Ds!”

“You all keep mocking us!” Takebayashi tries. “They’re furious.”

“Well what else do we do?”

“...not mock us?”

"Yeah, and what were you all doing last year back when our 3-E class seniors were there?” Yuna says.

Takebayashi says silent.

“Hypocrites,” she mutters.

“Sometimes you don’t see the flaw in a system unless you’re being disadvantaged by it,” Takebayashi says. “Yes, perhaps we’re contradicting our old actions. But people grow and change, and we realize it’s wrong. If you’re on one side of an argument, it’s hard to see the other side until you’ve experienced it, and we have! Our past actions don't define who we are, and we have a different mindset now.”

He continues. “If you were in 3-E too, trust me, you wouldn’t be able to take the taunts and abuse thrown at us. You all are desensitized to how terrible it actually is. 3-E doesn’t want anyone to go through the same system, so we’re trying to make everyone see how terrible it is-”

“-Like we don’t already know that,” Anaya says. “We know that. We don’t want to be in 3-E. It’s a miserable time being in E-class. From the moment we step into the school as first years all the way till we graduate, we know being in E-class is a terrible thing.”

“Not for the right reasons!” Takebayashi presses. “Yes, we all don’t want to be in E Class. It’s something that was taught to us. But the logic justifying that is that 3-E students are hopeless and worthless, and no one wants to be called hopeless and worthless! But that label comes with so much more baggage that you guys will never understand simply because you’re not part of it. Furthermore, don’t you think it’s pretty messed up? Our motivations for wanting to score good grades isn’t for our future achievements or our own progress. We just don’t want to be in 3-E.”

"I guess," Anaya says begrudgingly. "I wish you guys would stop butting into our business though."

Takebayashi sighs. "I wish we would, too. Everyone's fighting all the time."

“Enough about that,” Watanabe says. “We’ve talked alot about that already. There’s nothing else to say. Takebayashi, what else has happened in 3-E since?”

Takebayashi rubs the back of his head. “Well we got new tactical uniforms.”

Watanabe’s eyes gleam. “Oh? Spill.”

“They’re really great, cutting edge synthetic fabric. They’re shock resistant, fire resistant, severance resistant, stretch resistant-”

“We get it,” Anaya says. “They’re everything resistant.”

“Well, yes,” Takebayashi says. “They’re testing the limits with this one. We’re pretty much invincible.”

“Well we’ll remember that the next time we challenge you all in sports,” Anaya sniffs.

“Oh,” Takebayashi says. “Hows… um…”

“The exchange kids? They flew back a few days ago,” Watanabe says. “They’re not pressing charges.” 

“Seriously?” Takebayashi says. “They could have a case! Aren’t there witnesses?!”

The girls exchange a look. “Yeah,” Chika says. “Asano junior’s a witness.”

“Oh.”

Watanabe snaps her fingers. “Back on track. You’re going to show me the outfit, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, next up is the God of Death arc! Of course Main wouldn't know about them. I just love Reaper 2.0. He deserved better, honestly, and I want to write a fic about him. I think he and Gakushuu vibe well, you know? 
> 
> Some notes:  
> The first section features some canon dialogue as per the manga. Araki's first sentence "the last time was a fluke" all the way to Karma's "you guys would lose face" is canon dialogue! Karma speaks more after that, where he issues a challenge by which they would "settle everything by finals", and the reason I didn't include it is because frankly, I'm tired. And I think the challenge of finals is already implied with the fic narrative so I didn't feel the need to explicitly speak it.  
> In the manga, the only 3-E kids featured during this scene (apart from Karma) are Nagisa, Okajima, and Sugino. I can say they look absolutely ready to throw hands.  
> The rest of the fic is non-canon. I think I've been bashing 3-E a lot this time, but frankly they have a good point. The system is pretty shit and while Main are as much victims towards the cycle and terrible ideology as 3-E is, we have to agree that 3-E definitely gets the worse end of the deal.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Fortunately (or unfortunately) we have no theological discussions on academic systems today. I'm giving the Main Campus kids some downtime because I've been so hard on them recently, so this chapter you just get to watch them act very out of canon character and goof off a little. No 3-E debates, no Principal, just 1.5k words of the kids fucking around. 
> 
> Also, I made a little edit in the last chapter. One of my commentators Carrot (thanks xoxo) pointed out that I gave Asano a piece of dialogue that Karma said. I lifted that directly from canon so I decided to correct it. Thanks!
> 
> Kunugigaoka is actually a tiny school? I read somewhere that there was about 40 kids in a class (excluding E of course) and there are only 4 classes a cohort (A through D), so that makes about 120 year 3 students in Main. That's tiny! I'd imagine everyone knows each other. (I actually did go to a school that had a small cohort size, in the 200+ range? Not everyone interacted, but by third year or so we could all ID each other by face/name. "Yeah Josh's in my year, I never talked to him but I know of him".) I'd imagine Kunugigaoka would be similar. 
> 
> Here, of course, my OCs are reasonably friendly, but I know till now that not everyone has interacted with one another. I counted and I've made up 28 people so far! Damn.

"Six spades." 

“Um," Tsubara says. "King of diamonds?" 

"Nope," Rukiyo says. Tsubara takes a card from her. 

"My turn," Sato says. He places a seven of clubs in the center pile. Rukiyo stares at him for a beat, and then wordlessly hands him a card. 

"Oh! Right. I have a seven," Sato says. 

Rukiyo hands him another card. 

"Have a nice day?" He tries. 

Rukiyo nods. 

Watanabe's next. She places the eight of hearts down, and forms a heart shape with her hands. 

Tanaka throws down a nine clubs. "Uno," he says. 

"What the fuck are we playing?" Tsubara says aloud.

"Ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten," Saito says. He puts the ten of spades down. 

Tsubara stares at his hand. He looks up at everyone, half the group with deadpan expressions and the other half with ridiculous grins on their faces. Slowly he places down a Jack of spades as well, sucks in a breath, and lets it out when Rukiyo gives him a pleased nod. 

Then Sato puts down the Queen of hearts. 

"Oh, new rule!" Rukiyo interrupts. "Queen of hearts means you have to kiss the person on your right!" 

"What?!" Sato says. He and Watanabe look at each other, twin bewildered expressions on their faces. 

"Sorry, I meant left!" Rukiyo says. "I can't tell my lefts from my rights." 

Tsubara chokes. "Wh- that's not- guys this isn't- I thought you weren't even supposed to say the rules-" 

"And no half-assing it either," Wanatabe interjects. Whose side is she on?! 

"Aw, Kai, your face is so red," Sato teases. "Am I such a terrible person to kiss?" 

Tsubara thinks he's going to die. All the times he's helped Asano out, where was that boy when you needed him?! He needed Asano to come here and knock him out, stat. "I mean, no, you're not a… bad prospect-" 

And then Tsubara shrieks a little when Sato leans over and pecks him on the cheek. He barely has time to process it before the group has started yelling again. "Weak!" Tanaka hollers. "I've seen Ren kiss his mirror with more passion than that!" 

"Oh shut up!" Sato says, but he doesn't sound angry. Tsubara doesn't even react. He thinks his brain shut down. "I don't want our first real kiss to be in front of all you idiots!"

"Boo," Rukiyo says.

"U-um," Tsubara stammers. 

"Come on, let's go," Sato says, rolling his eyes. "I'm sure we can find an empty stairwell somewhere." 

"UM," Tsubara says louder. 

"We're in the middle of a game!" Watanabe protests, but she's grinning. 

"What the fuck even is this game?! I bet you guys just made it up." 

"That's the point!" 

\--

"We need a couple people more for our game," Rukiyo says, poking her head into the 3-D classroom. "Any of yall want in?" 

Shun looks up with narrowed eyes. "Are you playing that stupid card game where you make up all the rules but won't say what they are again?" 

Rukiyo beams at him. "Yep." 

"Cool," Shun says. He leans over and kicks Mako in the leg. "Let's go." 

Mako barely looks up from his phone. "I dunno how to play cards." 

"That's the point," Shun says. 

Rukiyo watches Shun and Mako grapple over the phone for a few seconds - Mako's knee is dangerously close to Shun's crotch - and rolls her eyes. She turns to the girls. "You guys coming?" 

"Sure," Yana says. "We're waiting for Yuki to come back from the washroom. She's part of the entourage that got caught in the glitter ball prank." 

"Oh yeah, I heard about that," Rukiyo snickers. "Did they finish cleaning up yet?" 

"Nope!" Kiyoko says. "They have half the cafeteria left." 

"Well they're idiots," Rukiyo says. 

"Ow!" Shun yells. The girls ignore him. 

"Well I think Sakakibara actually looks pretty good decked out in glitter," Kiyoko says. "It fits his drama. And did you see how much Asano was laughing?! I think we should drench Sakakibara in glitter more often!" 

"He was only mad because he just got his hair done," Rukiyo laughs. 

Then Yuki pops in, pleasant surprise on her face. "When did Tsubara and Sato get together?!" 

Mako freezes. He elbows Shun in the ribs and he goes down wheezing. Mako jumps to his feet. "Say what now?!" 

"They're canoodling by the staircases," Yuki faux whispers. "They looked  _ very  _ comfortable. When did they get their shit together?!" 

"Oh, like five minutes ago," Rukiyo says 

\--

“Principal Asano comes to school in a car, while Asano walks,” Yuu wonders aloud “Isn’t that weird? How far do they live? It must be within walking distance, if Asano walks. They travel separately.”

“If Asano can walk to school in like fifteen minutes,” Anaya says, “why bother with the car at all? The principal arrives at school later than Asano. Does he drive circles around the block or something?”

They giggle. “Maybe he does donuts in an empty parking lot.”

\--

"You know, I had a hunch but I wasn't completely sure you liked me," Sato says, midway to ruining Tsubara's entire face. Tsubara doesn't have enough mind to mouth coordination at the moment to come up with an actual reply, so he says, "Hmmmeerrrmmmhhh?" 

"Yeah," Sato says, smiling. "But the exchange kids told me - back when we were getting them to the ambulance - that you told them you did." 

"MmmHhmfffghhhfff!" 

\--

“I hate this fucking cafeteria. I hate being around poor people. I hate you,” Sakakibara says, and he jabs an accusing finger at Juno. “I hate you and your shitty, ghetto, dollar-store glitter.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Asano offers, from where he’s lounging at a bench and sipping a cup of lemonade like it’s a martini, “I think you look absolutely fabulous.”

“Thank you but that does not make me feel better!” Sakakibara stomps his foot, standing puffs of glitter flying. “I just got my hair straightened and I can’t wash it until tomorrow!” On the floor with rags and dustpans, Saki and Juno giggle.

“Why did you straighten your hair?” Koyama says. “It’s already straight.”

“It’s straight because i straightened it, idiot!” Sakakibara fumes.

“What if you just stand in front of the fan and see if it blows away?” Koyama suggests.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Sakakibara muses. “Quick! To any fan!” He stalks out with a purpose, and Koyama, looking unsure of who to hang with, bolts after him.

“Don’t track glitter everywhere,” Asano calls.

“Maybe we should have aimed lower,” Saki says.

“You should have,” Asano agrees. 

“This is entertaining for you, isn’t it?” Juno says. “Watching us mop the place like one of your minions.”

“Absolutely delightful,” Asano agrees.

\--

“Dare.”

“I dare you to break one school rule.”

Toro gives Asami a deadpan look, and pops open a button on his shirt collar.

“What?”

“I’m breaking dress code,” Toro says cheekily.

The circle groans. 

“That’s on me, I set the bar too low,” Asami grumbles.

Toro spins the bottle, and it goes a few rounds before it hands on Chika. “Dare,” she immediately says.

“Why is everybody doing dares today?” Wasai asks.

“Let loose, be adventurous,” Chika says. “What if the world blows up tomorrow?”

“I ran out of dare ideas,” Toro says. “Should we do something with the glitter again?"

Sitting in the corner of the 2-B classroom, an industrial packet of glitter is taped shut. Who bought the glitter in the first place no one really knew. 

“Juno and Saki haven’t gotten back yet,” Chika says. “I think they’re dead.”

“Maybe asking them to glitter-bomb one of the five Virtuosos was a bad idea,” Asami says. “Who do you think they got?”

“Probably not Asano,” Chika says, counting off her fingers. “Koyama or Araki, maybe. I doubt they’ll try it on Seo. They better hope they didn’t attempt Sakakibara, he just got his hair done.”

And all four of them look up as a shimmery blur runs past the room.

Koyoma sticks his head in. “The two are on cafeteria cleaning duty,” he tells them, and then speeds off again.

“Damn,” Wasai says, the same time Toro calls after, “who’d they get?” But Koyama is long gone.

“Let’s go to the cafeteria,” Asami says. “I want some food.”

\--

“So when’s the Principal coming back?” Chika says, sitting at a table with a smoothie in her hands.

“The day after tomorrow,” Asano says.

“He should go on work trips more,” Toro says.

Saki’s dragging a bucket in. “We scrub the floor once more, then bleach it, and we’re done.”

“You guys are good at this,” Asami says. “If you fail exams, you can always have a career as a janitor.”

“Saki's math is too bad to be a janitor,” Juno snarks. "Don't you need to measure things out? He's going to pour in ten liters of bleach instead of one."

“Shut the fuck up, Mr Canada-is-in-Asia.”

“I thought it said China! They both start with a C and end with an A!"

"That's why you got a C and not an A for English, idiot!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Chapter Notes:  
> Nothing that has occurred here today is canon! I don't need to explain.
> 
> There are a lot of OCs here this time round, so sorry if it's a little hard to keep up! There's no real need to keep track of who's who, you can imagine a miscellaneous crowd just vibing, but if you're bored you can attempt to remember how everyone cameoed.
> 
> The card game in the very first section that Sato, Tsubara, Watanabe, Rukiyo, Tanaka and Saito (so many names) were involved in is a real card game. It's called the game of Mao, and I guess it's technically untrue to say that it's real because the game rules revolve around Making Up Rules.  
> The gist of the game: it's a typical "get rid of your hand" game but the dealer has a set of rules, and they can add a rule at any time without notice. There are supposed to be 0 discussion of rules so it's kind of like a "figure it as you go along" by trial-and-error. Breaking a rule results in a penalty (eg. drawing a card). I wrote them discarding cards only in ascending order, but it could be in formats such as suit rotation, descending order etc. There are some "standard rules" (eg. say "have a nice day" if you throw down a seven) but like I've said, you can make up your own.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The kids are really just fuck-all 
> 
> OKAY this chapter features the Reaper Arc being briefly addressed, the kids being absolutely wildly inappropriate (in more ways than one) and my favorite pastime, making Asano sad! I have a LOT of feelings about the assclass adults (mostly Bad) and all of them suck to a certain degree. Except Aguri, and the nice old man principal of the nursery school.
> 
> We've been rather solemn these past few chapters, I think. Next chapter should pick up back again into the normal swing of everyone making fun of 3E's terrible secret skills (as they should) and we will finally get to see the fic's summary excerpt written in this fic. We are 27 chapters in.

"Seriously, guys?!" Takebayashi says, aghast. "We almost died!" 

"You almost die every other week," Anaya says, bored. "Heck, with the Principal,  _ we _ almost die every other week. Alternate weeks of course, because we have a great time when your class is miserable and vice versa." 

"But you're all right now," Yuna says. "You lived. Let us have fun." 

Next to him, Watanabe sympathetically pats Takebayashi’s knee.

Takebayashi groans. "All of you are sadists. Fine." 

Yuna claps her hands together. Next to her, Saito spins the bottle on the floor. It lands on Sato. 

"Oh! I get the first question?" Sato says. "Takebayashi, what was… the way you almost died?" 

Takebayashi narrows his eyes. "We almost got assassinated." 

"Yeah, obviously," Anaya says. "What was the specific modus operandi? This is the same question by the way, I’m not spinning the bottle." 

Takebayashi sighs long-sufferingly. "We almost drowned." 

Sato spins the bottle. It lands in the space between Sakakibara and Rukiyo, so they have a quick go at rock-paper-scissors. Sakakibara wins.

“How many people almost died?” He asks. “When you say ‘we’, do you mean the whole of class E or just a specific group?”

“Everyone,” Takebayashi. “All of us were trapped in a cage with Koro-sensei. I guess Ritsu wasn’t technically going to die, but she got, ah, hacked.”

“My turn,” Rukiyo says quickly. “The bottle technically landed on me too. Who almost killed you all?”

“Reaper,” Takebayashi says seriously, then scowls as some of the students snicker. “That’s the code-name of who is apparently the greatest assassin in the world. He kills other assassins.”

The bottle spins again. It lands on Saito this time.

“How’s Irina doing?” He asks eagerly.

“She betrayed us,” Takebayashi says. “Reaper managed to catch us at first because he told us he kidnapped her, and gave us directions to a warehouse. Once we got there, however, we realized it was a trap and Bitch-sensei had been colluding with him.”

“What?!” Watanabe says, shocked. “Why would she do that?”

Takebayashi crosses his arms. “She was insecure in her assassination. She felt that being a teacher was a waste of her skills and she was losing touch with her work.” He pushes his glasses up his nose. “That, and Reaper manipulated her to think so. Luckily, she switched sides in the end and helped Karasuma-sensei stop Reaper.”

“Oh…” Saito crosses his arms and scowls. Sakakibara and Yuna look decidedly weepy. “Every day I lose more and more faith in authority figures.”

“The class has collectively forgiven her,” Takebayashi says. “I personally find that to be an unwise decision.”

“I guess we do forget she’s a serial killer in the end, under all that hotness,” Yuna sags. “Why is it always the pretty ones who are problematic?”

Takebayashi stares at her.

“Principal Asano is conventionally attractive, even though no one would ever say it out loud” she points out shamelessly. “He looks exactly like little Asano, who we all agree is very cute. His dad is just the grown up daddy version of him.”

At the absolutely scandalized looks she gets, Yuna huffs and crosses her arms. “Don’t come for me. I don’t even swing that way. I just know what’s supposed to be attractive when I see it.”

“Right,” Takebayashi coughs. “Um-”

“Air-force Sensei too,” Yuna says. “I mean, I guess he’s not technically  _ problematic _ . I just think it’s like, super sketchy how he’s letting all this fly. You guys are put in danger all the damn time and he’s supposed to be a government official but he’s all, whatever about it! Really shows us the government’s priority in all of this.”

“I never thought about it that way,” Takebayashi says. “We like him. He tries to keep us out of danger mostly and he’s a good teacher.”

Yuna continues, “I would love to see the female version of him, or whatever. Which I suppose is Irina, but, you know, she kills people. I don’t dig that.”

“Some of the girls do seem to find him… ah… attractive,” Takebayashi mumbles. 

“Fuck, marry or kill,” Anaya says, “Air-force sensei, Irina and the Principal.”

“Oh, gross,” Rukiyo says, delighted. “Can I kill Irina  _ and _ the Principal?”

“No,” Anaya says.

“I think we can all collectively agree the only one among them that is actually marriage material is air-force sensei,” Saito says.

“Seconded,” Yuna says, lazily raising a hand.

“And yet the Principal is the only one among them who’s actually married,” Watanabe says. The group exchanges glances, then bursts into giggles. Even Takebayashi, who’s trying hard to remain somber for the grim topic they originally gathered to discuss, tries his best to hide his snicker. He fails.

“I think we all know who we’re going to kill,” Rukiyo says. She turns to Takebayashi. “You guys are like, hitman trainees, right? Can we actually hire you all to kill someone?”

“That’s illegal,” Takebayashi says.

“Because everything we’ve done so far is within legal bounds.’

“Um, right. Well, that’s revealing the secret.”

“Aw, you’re right.”

“Wait guys,” Sakakibara says, “3-E almost died. Let's circle back. I have to tell Asano what happened later.”

Takebayashi straightens up. “I suppose I’ll have to break down the events. This actually started way before midterms. Remember I told you how we knocked over an old man during parkour?”

Watanabe and Saito pull out their phones to type. 

“Well, there was a florist on scene that called the ambulance...”

\--

“...and that’s how we found out the government actually never specified that us 3-E kids were not to be harmed in any assassination attempt on Koro-sensei’s life. Luckily Karasuma-sensei let us know he managed to convince the government to add a no-killing-us clause to any further contracts they would put out.”

There’s a long silence. Then finally Saito says, “that sucks.”

Takebayashi nods gravely. “It does.”

“I’m glad you all didn’t die,” Rukiyo says. 

“Well,” Sakakibara says, standing up. “I’ll take my leave first. I have budget statements to disseminate. Someone collate the information and let me know when it’s up on the Board, I’ll tell Asano.”

Anaya stands up to leave with him. “Ooh, the budget! How much money is the entrepreneurship club getting? A lot, right?” 

“Right, the school festival is coming up,” Saito says. “I’ll format all this stuff into a blog post then. Watanabe, you and Takebayashi can make amendments.”

“I’m going to go find a new girl crush,” Yuna sighs. “Someone who won’t kill fifteen year old kids. Like, I’m a fifteen year old kid!”

“I never expected the beginnings of the Board to cumulate into this,” Watanabe says. “Fucking hell. What’s the deal with Koro-sensei, anyways? He’s also an assassin, right? How did he become a teacher? The plot is getting so convoluted.”

“Him being an assassin isn’t confirmed,” Takebayashi says. “It’s just a theory.”

“It’s Asano’s theory,” Watanabe points out. “It makes sense, and he’s hardly wrong. Only someone who knows assassination can teach others about assassination, and since he’s you guys how to kill people, he must have had prior experience in killing people.”

Then she suddenly jolts up. “Oh my god! You all are in terrible danger!”

“What?” Takebayashi looks concerned.

“It’s a trend!” She stresses. 

Sato catches on. “Authority figures with the wrong knowledge is dangerous territory,” he agrees. “We only have Principal Asano to worry about. Your assassin teacher literally tried to kill you, and she’s human! If the supercreature…”

“Koro-sensei wouldn’t do that!” Takebyashi says.

“And how do you know?!” Watanabe says. “You never know these things.”

“He signed a contract with the government,” Takebayashi says, but he sounds doubtful himself. “That he wouldn’t harm any of us if he was our teacher…”

“Contracts are only binding if the prosecuting party is within means to persecute the accused, should there be a breach of contract,” Sato says, crossing his arms. “If someone breaks a contract they signed with their company and the company has no money to sue, then nothing happens. If the octopus decides one day to slaughter you all, who’s going to stop him? What will they do after? Sue him? They already can’t catch or kill him-”

“He wouldn’t!” Takebayashi snaps. “It was within his ability to escape from Reaper’s death trap but he didn’t because it would have caused harm to us. He-”

“-cares about you?” Watanabe interrupts.

“That’s all we can hope for,” Takebayashi says. “One day, if Koro-sensei truly decides otherwise… then you’re right. Who can stop him?”

\--

“Nagisa Shiota’s mother tried to  _ burn down the class 3-E building _ ?!”

“It happened last night,” Takebayashi says. “She wanted him to transfer to Main, and he refused.”

Asano looks appalled. “And what happened? The consensus? No lasting damages?”

“Yeah, the building is fine-”

“I meant the boy.”

“Oh!” Takebayashi looks sheepish. “Um, yeah. Nagisa’s fine, mostly. He seems to have convinced his mom to let him stay. There was a bit of commotion, and we found out she drugs and hits him-”

Asano flinches almost imperceptibly. Sakakibara notices because he knows Asano better than Asano knows himself, and Takebayashi notices because he’s trained to notice things. 

“UM,” Takebayashi says loudly, “yes, everything’s fine. He’s doing well.”

“Good,” Asano says, clipped. “Excuse me. I have a council meeting to attend.”

Takebayashi and Sakakibara stare at each other. Sakakibara coughs. “Um, thanks for telling us.”

“Aren’t you in council too?” 

“Yeah, um, the meeting doesn’t start for another hour.”

“...”

“...”

“Won’t 3-E be wondering where you are?”

“It’s our break. We don’t usually all eat together. We’re having a late lunch because lessons dragged.”

“...”

“...”

“Well, Isogai and Kataoka are going to be present at the meeting, so you should make yourself scarce before-”

“Right, right. I’ll… go-”

“Watanabe’s in the library.”

“I wasn’t going to- um, thanks.”

\--

“Every single time Asano is in a bad mood,” Tsubara says, wrapping his knuckles, “I get beat up. Do you guys ever think about that? No, you only think about yourself.”

Sakakibara rubs the back of his neck. “Do you want me to distract him instead? I could-”

“No, I’m going to go get my ass kicked, and then I’ll send him through the shower in time for his council meeting.” He crosses his arms. “I’ve been making up fake moves to hug him mid-fight. You know how stupid that is? I’m leaving myself open to his counters which are  _ always painful _ , might I add.”

“Oh,” Sakakibara says. “That’s actually… cute?”

“My ribs are bruised to hell,” Tsubara says. “He knows they’re bullshit. There’s no way he doesn’t know I’m making everything up. And the most concerning part about it is that he  _ lets it happen _ . Are you his best friend or not? You need to give him more hugs.”

“I can put my arm around his shoulder,” Sakakibara says, “although the reception varies depending on how he’s feeling. I tried going in for an actual hug once and he  _ parried _ me.”

Tsubara is silent for a while. “If you’re going to try again, go slow and telegraph your movements so ridiculously obvious that you look like an idiot. Hug around his torso, not his neck.”

“Got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The kids are absolutely TERRIBLE this chapter. 
> 
> Chapter Notes:  
> I want to say I still LOVE Irina (sorry dear) and I still stand by that betraying 3-E was the only thing she could have done. If she said "thanks but no thanks, I won't help you kill the kids" to Reaper 2.0 I'm 100% sure he would have just killed her on the spot (or actually kidnapped her for reals I guess).  
> I personally don't think Karasuma is a terrible person. He's not my favorite, but I like him well enough! I don't like Koro-sensei for a multitude of reasons (and yes, one of which is because he's a serial killer) but I'm not going talk about that. He's still a pretty cool character, I just don't vibe with him.  
> Poor San-san :( I'd imagine he's touched starved.  
> I love Ren Sakakibara! I do! I wish I wrote more about him. I actually think he and Takebayashi would get along! Although they'll probably fight a lot on what constitutes an attractive girl. "I like when they're 2D." "Haha yeah I wish they had 2 Ds too." "I don't think we're on the same page."
> 
> OC recap:  
> Anaya, or CEO-Coffee Girl (I love yalls nicknames for her, so cute) is from 3-A. I think she can be easily put under the Mean-Girl category (or, you know, whatever constitutes the mean girl category among middle schoolers). She's one of the people less empathetic towards 3-E but she can be nice. Sometimes.  
> Tsubara from 3-B is Asano's regular sparring partner. That fact is brought up first in chapter 15, then again in 22. He's currently the most tactile with Asano on the basis that they kick the shit out of each other on a regular basis. He's mentioned by name all the way in chapter 1 and 2 but he debuts for the first time in chapter 11, and as of chapter 26 he's no longer single ;)


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Kunugigaoka! It'd been a while (a week?) Forgive the momentary lapse in updates, I was excited about my other fic instead. If you haven't been watching my dash, it's an urban fantasy Karushuu fic and I should have the last chapter out... soon. (It's 4 chapters long.) My writing style varies a fuck lot so if you want to hear me sound like a melancholic missus waiting for her husband to return from the war, then you should check that fic out ;)
> 
> Oh well. Let's move on. Isn't it time to revert back to the roots of what this fic is truly about? Making fun of 3-E's terrible secret keeping skills?

"We're supposed to know nothing," Asano reminds her.

"But they're so  _ bad _ at it," Mikasi whines, and around her the other class representatives voice their agreements.

"Well that's why they're in class E," Asano says, rolling his eyes. "If there was a final for subtlety, they would have already failed it. I'm preemptively vetoing any Koro-sensei related ideas, please come up with something else." 

Yoka's hand shoots up. "Maid cafe!"

Asano stares at him, deadpan. "You are 13 years old. I'm not letting you open a maid cafe."

"What about selling takoyaki?"

"I accept that," Asano nods. "Any class who wishes to sell food items must obtain the necessary food preparation licenses, I'll handle the permits."

"Senpai,” Miki says, raising her hand. “What will your class be doing?”

“A set of performances, most likely,” Asano says, “with, ah, other perks.”

“Oohh! Will you be performing?!”

“But we’ll have to manage our own booths and we won’t be able to come!”

Asano clears his throat, and the commotion quietens. “Remember,” he says. “Headhunters from top tier corporations come to scout out potential hires so be sure to make a good impression.”

“Unemployment is at an all time high,” the kids chorus. The numerous career awareness talks that the students have been made to sit through for the past week repeated the phrase ad nauseum. 

“I doubt it’d be a problem for most of you,” Asano muses. “Kunugigaoka’s reputation opens many doors--”

And as if on cue, the door bursts open. Standing on the other side are Isogai and Kataoka from 3-E, both of them red-faced and panting just like they’ve run down a hill from their classroom. “Sorry we’re late!” Isogai exclaims. “We had a, uh, late class!”

“Forgive us!” Kataoka says. 

“What could you all possibly be doing that’s so important?” Someone says aloud, and the students titter conspiratorially amongsts themselves. Isogai and Kataoka look miffed, to be on yet another end of an inside joke they’re not getting, seemingly at their expense.. 

“Tardiness isn’t becoming of a Kunugigaoka student,” Asano says coolly, “E-Class or no, you still wear the school’s uniform. There will be a lot of external guests during the festival and I trust that this sort of behavior won’t be displayed.”

“Of course not, President,” Kataoka says, a little stiffly.

“Won’t happen again,” Isogai mumbles.

Asano sighs, like he’d rather be anywhere else. “As I was saying, your proposals need to be submitted to the school board for approval by next Wednesday. If you’re unsure of an idea will pass, you can run it by me.”

Someone’s hand shoots up. “What’s our aesthetic?”

Asano raises an eyebrow. “Aesthetic?”

“Yeah, like, our school colors? Can our entire store be bright yellow?”

The students start giggling again. “For no apparent reason, of course.”

“I was thinking that since we have an observatory on campus, we can open it up for guests to be able to see the moon! You know, since it’s blown up. I’m sure it’d be a hit.”

“We won’t be seeing the moon in the day.”

“Oh, oh! If we’re going on the moon theme… and the color yellow… we should make posters for it! Like… a smiley face because Kunugigaoka is a happy, fun place to be in, right? But instead of the normal smile, we can have… the shape of the crescent moon for our theme! Because it looks like a smiley, isn’t that right?”

Asano rolls his eyes. He looks amused, though, as does everyone else, and he makes no effort to stop any of the ridiculous discussion. As long as everyone knows none of these ideas will make it past the drawing board.

Isogai and Kataoka, on the other hand, look extremely panicked. 

“You two look like you have something to say,” Seo comments loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Twenty five pairs of eyes zero in onto Isogai and Kataoka, who are looking like deer in the headlights.

Everyone leans forward a little bit in their chairs.

“Um,” Kataoka says, “...our other school color is also blue, right?”

“She’s right,” Asano says, taking pity on them. He affixes his grinning juniors with a deadpan stare - the Asano patented indifferent face that the Principal also wears. “A completely yellow booth is acceptable, if it matches the… aesthetic, but we will not be using the single color for official festival purposes. If we have a mascot on any promotional material, it will have to be Kunudon.”

“I have a question.”

“Yes.”

“Why do we have such a cute school mascot? The Principal - no offence, Asano - doesn’t seem like he’d make that kind of cute stuff.”

Without missing a beat, Asano says, “well, he made me,” with the same nonchalant expression on his face. Next to him, Sakakibara slaps the table and claps his hand over his mouth.

“I have another question!” Someone blurts out, in between the cacophony of laughter.

“Is it relevant?”

“Yes!”

“Go.”

“Why Kunudon?”

“I absolutely hated acorns as a child and he decided to make sure I’d never forget it. The next person who asks an irrelevant question is going to clean the council room after we adjourn.”

“Can we sell Kunudon merch?”

“Absolutely not.”

\--

“You know, I’ve always hated that little acorn,” Tsubara says conversationally, like he hadn’t been flipped on his back two seconds prior, and he splays on the mat to catch his breath. 

Asano rolls his eyes. “The damn kids are gossipers. I hated acorns after Kunudon, not before.”

“You didn’t seem to be the type of three year old to randomly despise a seed.”

“An acorn is a fruit.”

Tsubara rolls his eyes. “You like us gossipers,” he reminds Asano. “Or we wouldn’t have gotten so far with our investigative work. Admit you appreciate it. Admit you need us.”

“I would have figured it out myself,” Asano says, but it’s without heat. 

“Please. You didn’t even know Haruna Mase. Yesterday Watanabe showed you a meme and you asked her who that was.”

“Yes, and everyone laughed at me for so long but failed to give me an answer. I still don’t know who that person was.”

“Gakushuu Asano, that was Hannah Montana.”

“That name means nothing to me.”

"I say this without hyperbole, with genuine sincerity… you worry me." 

\--

The school festival kicks off spectacularly. True to his words, Asano had arranged a "set of performances" for 3-A. Except calling it a set-of-performances completely understated it - it was a full blown concert if anything, and the acts lined up could pass off as professional. 

Gakushuu, a (not) normal middle school student, somehow managed to gain a corporate sponsor. He’s insane. “This is perfect,” he muses, “they’ll provide us with drinks and light meals for free. Considering that the price of my ingredients is zero, customer attraction and managerial abilities, it’s impossible for me to lose.”

There’s also no shortage of domestic resources. “Don’t forget to include us in your calculations,” Anaya says, flipping her hair over her shoulder. 

Event set-ups, amenities and acts, even decorations, pulled together for free by a class of children in their niche.

“It’s not quite at your level, but I have my connections as well,” Seo agrees. 

“According to the data, we should easily be able to gather more than a thousand customers,” Koyama says.

“You put too heavy of a burden on your shoulders during the sports festival,” Sakakibara says. “We can get back for that total defeat by using the full strength of class A’s best members!”

Asano is grinning. “With this, there’s no way I can die!”

(Anyone else find that wording incredibly suspicious, Araki says, or just me?)

It’s a whirlwind of activity, the students scurrying around their own booths and also to check our others. 3-E has their own little mountaintop cafe set up, and according to Takebayashi (and Watanabe) it’s actually great. There’s not a lot of people willing to go up all the way just for a bowl of noodles, though, so it doesn’t seem like they;re starting up with that much luck.

All the better for Main, they suppose. It’s a testament to how crazy competitive the Principal is to pit the students against each other even in an event meant for charity. There wasn’t any real way to gauge the winnings until after the collation of funds on the third day of the festival, but judging by the reception at 3-A’s set-up, it looked like an easy win.

That is, however, until people start turning up by the busloads for the sole reason to climb up 3-E’s mountain.

“This is bad,” Anaya says, popping up. She shoves her phone into Asano’s face. “I don’t know how they did it, but they got a review from a popular food blogger! Saying it’s the best thing they’ve eaten, I don’t believe it!”

Asano crosses his arms. “How are they doing?”

She wrenches at her skirt. “Terrible!” Pauses. “Well, no, they’re doing great. I meant it’s terrible for us.”

Asano frowns. “Any way to boost our own popularity?”

“Well, some people have been bored waiting in line and decided to drop by our booth for a bit instead?” Anaya says, shrugging. “I don’t know the identity of the food blogger… they stay anonymous. I suppose we could advertise more to the people in line…”

“Yeah, we can do that,” Asano says, looking distracted. “Thanks, Anaya.”

\--

Then for some miraculous reason, in the climax of their success, 3-E closes down shop, with a day left of festival to go.

According to Takebayashi, all the raw ingredients that went into their food were foraged from the mountain that their classroom sits on. Asano may have spent nothing on his food, but so has 3-E. Their octopus teacher has decided to preserve their forest’s ecosystem and prevent over-exploitation of natural resources, and the class has unanimously agreed to shut down service once their ingredients had run out.

There was probably a metaphor in there, somewhere.

“I can’t believe it.”

“3-E had to close on the second day, and they still took third!”

“Who knows how it could’ve turned out if they went all the way to the end?!”

“Well, 3-A still came in first place, right!”

“Yeah! And they managed to beat out the high school too!”

“Well, that’s Asano for you!”

After all that… they’re still first place. 3-E’s early closure didn’t matter, how they got to first didn’t matter… what mattered was the results. “Thank god,” Chika says.

“We did it!” Sakakibara says, hi-fiving everyone in the classroom. Even Asano looks relieved, letting his classmates shower him with congratulations.

“It doesn’t matter who wins, what matters is the charitable benefits that we collectively contribute back to society,” Yuna chirps. “Which is what I would say to anyone who asks, but really, it’s all about who wins!”

“Oh,” Asano says, checking his phone. “The Principal is requesting a meeting.” 

The class pauses, and turns to stare with wide curious eyes.

“Well, we won, right?” Saito says. “That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Asano says. “The five of us, in fact.” He addresses the Virtuosos. “Let’s not keep him waiting.”

“We’ll update you on whatever,” Sakakibara says, waving lazily, but he looks marginally worried.

There’s a bit of a lull in conversation when they leave, and then Chika speaks up. “Why do I still get a bad feeling from this? Even though it’s our victory?”

“Because the Principal would never say anything when we win. It’s what is expected of us.” Yuu frowns. “This is not a commendation.”

“There’s not much that can be criticized,” Anaya frowns, “and I’m saying this as a businesswoman. We have a large name sponsor, a professional set-up, low starting costs. We have capable people on our side and we pulled in the profits. I can’t even say much about 3-E, because that’s smart of them. We made this work because of the connections we all have; they made it work because they had their connections. We cannot discredit them for a resource we utilize as well.” 

“Then what do you wager the Principal wants to talk about?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some chapter notes:  
> We finally see the summary excerpt in our fic! We made it so far, I'm so proud.   
> If you don't remember any of the names you've seen in this chapter... those are just the juniors! I have to say I originally planned for Mikasi to have an actual speaking role somewhere else in the fic (since the name popped up in the excerpt) but I never found the opportunity to... so she's a junior in second year for now. I had too much fun with Isogai and Kataoka here.   
> The first 2 sections were completely made up! As per usual protocol. The section as the school festival begins contains some canon manga dialogue. It begins in the third section with Gakushuu's first sentence and ends with Asano's "there's no way I can die" - which, I mind you, is canon. Anaya's sentence is said by Sakakibara in the manga. The dialogue after the results release from "I can't believe it" to "that's Asano for you!" is also canon.   
> I cut out a large part of it, partly because I was pretty lazy to write it out, and also partly because the dialogue makes Main look bad. Yep, I said it. That's the point of this fic!! Don't @ me!! I omitted Asano explaining how the stage set-up worked, some Virtuoso bonding (very sad that I didn't write that :( and a few tiny panels of some students saying Asano is cool which, yes, I agree.   
> Honestly the part that made San-san look like an asshole goes essentially this: in order to watch all the performances, people would have to move from event area to area because the stage serves only half the full event area at a time. However, they would have to re-pay the entrance fee each time they leave to move to the other area, which is how they rack up profits. The justification is of course that food is free. It's a business-smart but admittedly bitchass way to make money. 
> 
> Ohohohoh, the anticipated part of the fic is coming up soon!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current mood: ???
> 
> Hey guys! I thought this chapter was going to take me longer than it did but I had, I guess you can call it a sudden spark of inspiration. Melodramatic mourning wife is here today (jk) ((she's only partly here)). 
> 
> I missed out a bit of information in the previous chapters' notes. I lifted some lines from anime Kunudon and gave them to Gakushuu but I don't think I specified it (namely when he's describing the school festival "there will be talent scouts" or something, and the students all cheer "employment is at an all time high!" is canon anime dialogue.   
> I normally lift dialogue from the manga because I'm lazy to keep rewinding videos to catch words, but the manga description is more boring so I took it from the anime this time.
> 
> That's all, carry on!

Sakakibara’s eyes snap open, and he’s wide awake.

“God!” Tanaka’s fingernails are digging into his shoulder. He looks panicked. “Sakakibara!”

“W-what?” Sakakibara stammers. The entire class was staring at him with varying levels of concern on their faces. “Why is everyone here? What’s going on?”

“We should be asking you that!” Anaya says, storming up. “What happened to the four of you? Where’s Asano?”

“I…” Sakakibara’s head swims. 

A yelp to his left makes his head snap around. It’s Araki, looking bewildered, and nursing a red welt on his cheek. Chika has her hand raised. It looks like she’d smacked him on the face.

“The four of you were like, dissociating,” Tanaka says to Sakakibara, still holding onto him. “You four came back from the principal’s office, Asano is gone, you were all mumbling about killing 3-E and-”

“Oh my god! Asano!” Ren stands up so quickly his chair falls back with a noisy clatter. “Where is he?”

“We don’t know!” Anaya says. Her arms are crossed, but her bottom lip is quivering. “We’re trying to call him but it keeps going to voicemail. No one is seeing him around in school, we have Mako and Takada waiting by the gates but they hadn’t seen him pass yet. He didn’t even come back with you.”

A few seats away, Koyama jolts up. “Poison!” He blurts.

The class freezes. “What?” Saito says, voice dangerous.

“Asano! 3-E! The Principal!” Koyama continues hysterically.

Pieces of their conversation is coming back to Sakakibara, and horror dawns on his face the clearer it becomes. “He wanted us to poison the 3-E kids,” he says, as the class turns to look at him. “Asano was saying… we did all that we could… we secured a victory… Principal Asano was dissatisfied and… he said the profit margin needed to be bigger…”

The words wouldn’t come out.

Yuu speaks up, but her head is down. “And since 3-E was making their own food… he suggested poisoning it?”

Sakakibara swallows. “Yeah.”

Without warning, Anaya whips around and sends a table flipping over in the air with a harsh kick. 

“What the hell did he do to all of you?” Yuna says, eyes wide.

“Nothing, actually,” Seo speaks up for the first time. Despite his words, he looks haunted. “He just… talked.”

They turn to Sakakibara for confirmation.

“He did,” Sakakibara admits. He rubs his arm. “He just… talked. About… how this was the way society was meant to be run. This was the best system… to achieve the best results, 3-E had to go down and-” he shudders. “God, I don’t even want to say it. I think the worst part was how everything  _ made sense _ .”

“I was terrified!” Araki suddenly yells, jerking forward. “What the fuck was that! For a fucking moment I believed him! I…” He grips the sides of his arms until his knuckles turned white. “Did you see Asano?”

Sakakibara winces. 

“What about him?” Saito demands.

“Principal told him to wait outside when he spoke to the four of us,” Sakakibara mumbled. “When he came back in, he looked… scared. I’ve never seen him look that terrified before.”

“He saw us,” Seo says slowly. “We were thinking about what the Principal said, and worst still, I think for a moment we were  _ convinced _ . He saw that we believed in the Principal’s ideology and that terrified him.”

Sakakibara rubs his head. He remembers that expression. “I think I dissociated a bit.”

“You looked a little out of it when you got back,” Tanaka agrees, still gently rubbing circles into his shoulder.

Anaya steps back into the room. Sakakibara hadn’t noticed she was gone. “They spotted him,” she says, holding her phone up.

“Did they?” Saito says quickly. “How is he doing?”

“Spotted him, not caught him,” she shrugs a little listlessly. “He ran away.”

Koyama grits his teeth. “Asano never runs away from anything.”

“No,” Yuna says, and Sakakibara somehow knows what she’s going to say before she does - and he agrees. “I think he’s been running his whole life.”

\--

The Principal is there the next day, uncharacteristically out of his office. He stands in 3-A’s classroom like he owns the space - and he does. He has his arms crossed, smiling thinly as everyone flits past him and bows at the waist.There’s no pre-class chatter and everyone hurries to their seat and pulls out their books to look busy.

There’s another sign that this day is like no other - Asano is late. He arrives last to class with a faraway stare and too-stiff shoulders, but two steps into the classroom it’s like a switch flipped and he suddenly has a pleasant smile on his face. Principal Asano rolls his eyes like it’s  _ amusing _ , not terrifying.

Asano bows at the waist. “Good morning,” he says mildly.

“You’re late,” the Principal says.

“Apologies,” Asano murmurs. He walks to his seat.

“The performance for this semester’s midterms have been rather… unsatisfactory,” he says, and the class winces. They still came in their top spots (save for Akabane), but it all turned out it seemed like a fluke on 3-E’s side, because they were too busy with community service or something to study. Did Principal Asano know? He probably did.

“Well, it seems like it’s time to take matters into my own hands,” he says, sighing, as if it was an incredible burden to be doing so. “Effective immediately, I will be the new homeroom teacher for 3-A.”  A thick stack of books slam onto the teacher’s desk. Everybody jerks back in alarm. Even Asano’s mask of composure breaks a little, and his knee hits the bottom of his table.

The Principal, ever so cruel, catches on that. “Something to say, Asano?”

“No sir,” Asano spits out.

“Ah, that’s right,” the Principal says then, as if remembering something important. “Asano, you can leave now.”

What?

Asano startles again. “What?”

“I’m delegating you to home study,” the Principal says. Is that a thing he’s allowed to do? Technically Asano was both his student and son, but still. “With your standards, you should have no trouble keeping up, unless you slack off.”

Asano sits ramrod still.

“Well?” The Principal demands.

Asano grabs his bag, stands up, and stalks out the door.

“What the fuck just happened?” Sakakibara says softly.

There’s no indication so as to whether Principal Asano heard that. Instead he turns around and writes a subject on the chalkboard, words scratching off quickly and smoothly.  “Apologies for the delay,” Principal Asano says, the same smooth tone in his voice. “There are just some students that are a hassle to deal with, don’t you agree?”

The class remains silent.

“Now,” he says, and the chalk in his hands snaps against the board like a definitive end. “Let’s begin.”

\--

The worst thing about abused kids, Tsubara thinks, is that their parents leave them with an arsenal of skills that are inconvenient for everyone around. Well, no, the worst thing about abused kids is that they’re abused. But the second - well, also no, there was probably a lineup of even worse things on the list.

Okay, how about this:  _ one of  _ the worst things about abused kids was that their parents often ended up teaching them skills that made it terrible for everyone else involved, even though they didn’t mean to.

Who could Tsubara think of? 

Yuna, for one. She was amazing at acting dumb - you wouldn’t be able to tell she was their regional trivia champion or that she was the top 15 in class A. Nobody could be disappointed if they never had any expectations, is her motto. And you should  _ never _ let people have expectations, because the worst often came when you fell short of them.

Saito could lie, and he could lie quick. He spoke fast and eloquently as a member of the broadcast club, but he could talk his way out of  _ anything _ and distract anyone long enough, until they forgot what they were hung up on in the first place. He was good like that, but he reminds others that some battles are worth losing. “Don’t be a one-trick pony,” is something he would say. “Pulling the same thing too often gets you exposed. Sometimes people just need to vent their stress, and you just have to let them - if they’re worked up enough, no amount of talking your way out would help you..”

Anaya and Seo were the epitomes of attitude. They grated on each others’ nerves a lot, but that’’s because their mode of operations were too similar. “The best way to get out of trouble,” Anaya would say, “is to not care about it. Sometimes people don’t punish you because you did something wrong. Sometimes they do so because they want a reaction.”

“Don’t give them that satisfaction,” Seo says, holding his head up high. “Nothing bothers you.  _ Nothing. _ ”

Tsubara himself takes hits better than anyone he knows. He’s counting Asano in that equation, too, because Asano is always on the defensive. He blocks, parries, dodges. He flinches too hard when someone raises a hand too quickly and quickly tries to pretend he didn’t. It’s fitting, however, because the Principal was a martial artist and he most likely taught Asano how to defend himself. Evasive maneuvers, Tsubara learns, just makes people angrier.- it’s better to let them get it out of their system. He has a reflex, but he takes hits. 

Asano  _ runs _ . He walks quieter than anyone in school and he’s often behind you before you even knew it. He knows how to hide, and he hides  _ very well _ . It makes sense because everyone knows Asano and the Principal live in a big house, and it’s pretty much just them all the time. The thing about big houses are that noises always echo and travel far even though it seems like it shouldn’t, and you could often hear something down a hallway, so you learn to be very quiet and quick in a big empty house.

Which makes it all the worse for Tsubara and everyone else, who’s running around and trying to find Asano in a big empty school.

The 3-B group chat pings. It’s Shindo. “Do you think he left???”

“I asked the security guard, he hasn’t signed out yet,” Sato replies.

“I managed to stop by the storerooms by the 2-D classrooms on my way back from the bathroom,” Wasai says. “They’re empty.”

“Fucking shit,” Tsubara curses. He has a lesson in five.

His phone rings - it’s Takebayashi. Tsubara has never answered a call quicker in his life. 

“Hi,” Takebayashi says. “Watanabe told me to direct the call to you. She has a club meeting now.” He sounds confused.

“Yeah, hi, why?” Tsubara says. “Whatever it is, make it quick. I have a class soon.”

“Uh, yeah,” Takebayashi says. “Listen. Asano approached 3-E just now-”

“Why didn’t you start with that?!” Tsubara hisses. “Where is he? Is he with you? Don’t let him leave-”

“He already left,” Takebayashi says quickly. “Sorry.”

“Ah fuck.”

“What’s the situation?”

“His dad kicked him out of class, just,” Tsubara drags a hand over his face. “Look, it’s a mess. I have a break now, but my class is starting soon. Everyone else has their own things to do, but they’re just… checking any doorways they pass in case. Listen, the Principal’s taking over teaching class A for the time being. Don’t contact them, they’ll be occupied for the, ah, foreseeable future.”

“Um,” Takebayashi says. “He told us that. The Principal taking over, I mean. I think he probably left by the mountain route.”

“Shit,” Tsubara curses softly. “Fuck, thanks. I do have a lesson right now. Just text me whatever Asano said to you, I guess. I actually don’t have much else to tell you, because 3-A’s been, um, figuratively but also literally chained to their desks since morning and we haven’t heard anything from them. Sakakibara texted us from the bathroom to find Asano but that's just about it from me now.”

“Okay,” Takebayashi says. 

“Bye,” Tsubara says. He hangs up, texts 3-B to wait for an update from E-class, and heads to English.

\--

“He teaches four times faster but it’s like ten times clearer to understand,” Tanaka is saying. Class has officially ended for the day, and no one has left their seats. They’re all drained - emotionally and psychologically from having to cram so much information and keep up with the Principal.

“There’s word from Takebayashi,” Sakakibara says, not bothering to lift his head up as he goes through his phone. “Asano approached them. He asks them to assassinate the Principal’s education ideology by beating us off the top spots.” He pauses. “It’s not malicious towards us. He wants to show the Principal that his system leads to failure.”

There’s a silence, as everyone considers those words.

“We can’t flunk,” Yuna says. “We can’t. We have to do our best.”

“If we beat 3-E, it’d prove the Principal right.”

“I know.  _ I know _ . But if we deliberately throw the test, he’ll find out. You know he will, and then whatever point this whole thing is supposed to make becomes null. It will no longer be the fault of the system, but _our_ fault. He’ll try again, with a set of more desperate and determined people.”

“It needs to be an utter, thorough defeat,” Saito says.

“We shouldn’t give up anyways,” Anaya says, but her voice is wavering. “We’re not quitters.”

“No, we’re not,” Seo says.

“I want to give them a fight,” Koyama says suddenly. “3-E. Don’t you?”

“A fight,” Tanaka nods. “You’re right. I’m sick of losing to them - even when we win, we lose. I know we’re supposed to lose again - this time for a good reason… but I don’t want to make their lives easy.”

Class A laughs a little. “You’re right!” “They deserve a hard time.”

“Besides,” Sakakibara says. “The top 50 spots are what matters. There are 28 students in 3-E. There are 22 spots left for us.” 

“Right!” Chika laughs wetly. “We still have to reign over classes B to D. We’re better than them!”

“Well Asano can have number 1,” Araki says. “I’ll take number 2. You and class E can fight over the rest!”

“Don’t be so cocky, you might lose out to Akabane again,” Seo jabs him.

“Maybe we’ll tie,” Araki rebuts.

“Hey!” Sasaki says, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Maybe we can just all tie. It still proves that the Principal’s ideologies aren’t superior. We don’t lose, and class E gets their time in the sun.”

“A tie!” Sakakibara says brightly. “50 ties. A wonderful idea.”

“Maybe if we get enough ties we can drop the ranking list,” Tanaka snickers. “50 students with the exact same score.”

“What, use the Board for final exams?” Chika laughs. “The Principal, scary as he seems, isn’t omniscient after all. Even the government.”

“Yeah,” Anaya says. “They don’t even know we know.”

“It’s a matter of national security,” Yuu says. “If they knew we knew, there would be a whole lot of administration for us. Probably a non-disclosure as well.”

“Good thing that did,” Saito laughs. “Look where that got us. I kinda like Takebayashi.”

“As long as you’re not perving on him,” Chika slaps him lightly. 

“Course not, hon,” Saito says, rolling his eyes without heat. “Besides, I think Watanabe would pull the stapler on me.”

“Knowing isn’t so bad,” Yuna giggles. “Tsubara and Sato also finally got together. We got rid of shitty people like…” 

“Takaoka,” Tanaka says.

“Yeah, him,” Yuna says. “I think I actually had fun.”

“Same,” Yuu says. 

“The casualties weren’t fun,” Sasaki says. 

“Yeah,” Toro says. “They weren’t, really.”

There’s a short silence.

“Anyone feel scared?” Sakakibara’s on his back now, on his table, staring at the fluorescent lights screwed into the ceiling. “I feel scared, but in like, a sobering way. Like we’re preparing for the grand finale of something.”

Seo barks out a laugh. “The grand finale of telling the Principal he’s wrong at something.”

“I should install some cameras,” Chika says. “Do you think I should install cameras in this classroom?”

“Yes,” Anaya says. “You should. We can probably find pinhole cameras online.”

“I mean, not that I think anything is going to happen…”

“It’s okay. We’re all thinking it. He sent four kids to the hospital.”

Pause.

“I wish I could have seen it,” Anaya says aloud, suddenly. “Don’t you? I wish I was there.”

“Why?”

“It’s weird. I know he’s done things. We’ve seen the aftermath of it, we’ve heard him say it, but I’ve never…  _ seen _ it. Even with whatever’s going on in 3-E. We hear second-hand accounts about it, we have the receipts, but we don't actually  _ know _ . I feel emotionally detached from the whole thing.”

“That’s good,” Sakakibara says. 

“No, he’s right,” Yuu says softly. “That’s good. I don’t think it’s best to be emotionally invested in this. It’s stressful enough being in this environment. There’s nothing more to be gained.”

“I feel like I should feel sorry for 3-E,” Anaya says. “But I don’t. I know that they’ve been stabbed at and shot at and kidnapped and almost drowned… and that they were almost at the hands of a poisoning scheme. I know that, but… I don’t feel bad for that. Which is what makes me actually feel bad.”

“That doesn’t make you a bad person,” Yuna tells her quietly.

“Feels like it does.”

“Me too,” Sakakibara admits. “I saw Asano cry once, you know? Back in first year. He hadn’t quite mastered the whole ice-prince facade yet. He came in first place overall but he lost some marks to Karma Akabane. I was there when he left the Principal’s office that day. He was trying to hide it.” Pause. “I know terrible things have happened to 3-E, but as cruel as it sounds, I never saw it. I pity them, objectively, but I don’t feel it.”

“I used to talk to Okano a lot,” Yuna says. “We sat together in the library. I felt terrible when she was sent to 3-E. I think I would have called her my best friend then. I didn’t even see her in assembly because our class is on the opposite side of the hall from theirs. Everyone laughed at 3-E, and I didn’t want to laugh, because my best friend was there. And I know nobody wants to, you know? Someone you knew was once there. But maybe it’s herd mentality, or something, because everyone laughs and you do too. After that first assembly she wouldn’t talk to me anymore, and I felt like I deserved it. But then you guys bring the four exchange kids out and they’re beaten up so bloody and-” deep breath “-and she comes up to me and all she can say is, we’re terrible people. And then I didn’t feel sorry for her anymore.”

"But she doesn't know, is the thing," Yuna hesitates. "I miss them. I felt terrible, after what she said. And I blamed her. But she doesn't know."

“Takebayashi pissed me off for a bit,” Seo says. “Because he acted like we were wrong.” The next line sounds like it was a struggle for him to say. “But we were, weren’t we?”

“It doesn’t feel like it."

“We are,” Yuu says. “We were - are - horrible to them. Whatever this is,” she gestures to the room in general, “they don’t see it. What they see is us laughing at them when they fail. Us taunting them, baiting them. It really, really doesn’t feel like it to us, because how can we be in so much trouble if we’re in the wrong? But we are.”

“We should give them that.” Tanaka says.

“An apology?”

“I don’t think an apology would cut it. Not at this juncture. I don’t think I would accept an apology either if they had one to give.” 

“We’re all too stubborn,” Sakakibara laughs a little cynically. “Kunugigaoka kids are too stubborn. The moment you step into this school, you learn that you’re kicked when you’re done. We fight too much to stay upright.. We’re too stubborn.”

“3-E aren’t so different after all,” Toro jokes. 

“A fair fight,” Koyama says. “That’s what we should give them. I think we owe them that much, at least - and they owe us that, too.”

Silence. Breathe in, breathe out.

“Can someone help me go through section 5.3 again?”

“Yeah, I think I got that.”

“Oh, I need help with 2.5.”

“Oh, me too.”

“I can do 2.5, but I need 9.1 later.”

“I can do 9.1.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Notes:  
> Let's address the canon issues: I didn't. My wifi is bad today and the pages wouldn't load so I didn't bother direct lifting from canon content, although I think I do have the gist (?) of the flow of conversation. The part I was planning to copy would be the Principal's first scene teaching 3-A (ergo the dialogue he exchanges with his son when he tells Gakushuu to fuck off, and him taunting 3-A into doing better). I probably won't go back to update it unless there's a pressing key dialogue or something. I'm getting a bit lazy with adhering to canon, oops.   
> The rest of the fic mostly describes the aftermath of canon incidences (the "talk" with the Virtuosos, Asano's assassination request) so I didn't require lifting. 
> 
> Tsubara's monologue about abused kids is... well, it's there. Sorry if anyone felt uncomfortable, if you need to raise anything in the comments please do (or if you need to pm me, feel free).   
> Haha I guess I'm in a somber mood today? I have a terrible flinch reflex, if you didn't know that about me. Someone could hold something up literally 2 feet away from my face but if they did it quickly enough/in my periphery, my hands would be up. You know, because I play sports. ;) nah I'm joking, I've never played a single sport in my life. My parents' favorite past time when I was ages 4 and up was to smack me around. Aww, I think that's why I like Gakushuu so much. 
> 
> Yeah, the whole conversation between the 3-A kids! There's supposed to be like 40 people a class but I have like what, 12 speaking characters? And that's already a lot. Once again, there's no need to keep track of whos who, really. 
> 
> But if you're interested, some tidbits:  
> Anaya kicks a chair one other time (Seo's chair) in chapter 15.  
> I do reference Okano and Yuna's past friendship once in chapter 24, which is the pole-toppling tournament.   
> Yuna is mostly flighty, but she can be perceptive. I placed her at 30 during the pre-Okinawa midterms (and that's with 3-E's win).  
> Tsubara and Sato are a little couple I've been teasing bits in since chapter 11, and they finally get together in chapter 26.  
> There is a tie system going on. Nakamura and Asano tied for first in the pre-Okinawa midterms.   
> Chika and Saito may have a little something going on. I think the only time I bring it up is in chapter 16 and never again.  
> "He teaches four times faster but it’s like ten times clearer to understand" is a line lifted from the anime to describe Gakuhou's teaching, but I don't remember if those were the actual values.  
> Takebayashi and Watanabe? maybe a teeny bit. I couldn't resist, okay?? I had her going from calling him glasses and trying to kill him with a stapler, to them hanging out and her addressing him by name. I have too many things happening in the very vague background of my fic (but that's the plan!)


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's me, ya boi
> 
> Okay! I think everyone has pretty much guessed what this chapter is about - the one we've all been waiting for. Or at least I have. Hope you guys enjoyed the previous chapter ;) Isn't it just a nice, refreshing dose of angst? 
> 
> BTW this is a really really Asano centered chapter. I absolutely hate this boy. <3
> 
> This chapter is written differently from the others. I don't know, I just got "inspired" by a different vibe. It's one of my more experimental non-sequential writing styles, and I LOVE out-of-sequence fics. If yall have read some of my previous "edgier" works you can probably tell how this would flow (hehe flow).
> 
> Do let me know what you think about it! My non-sequential writing is generally "messier" (as it should be) but it just hits different, you know?

There’s a pinned post on the Board. It’s a multimedia file - a video attachment. It’s as short as a vine, and doesn’t have a caption. Mercifully, it’s not set to autoplay.

\--

“You realize none of my classmates are going to cut you all any slack,” Takebayashi warns. “Not after a direct challenge from Asano.”

“That’s good,” Chika says, turning her head. “We weren’t planning on letting you guys win easy, either.”

\--

Two weeks prior, during the first period of class - a day after the school festival, Principal Asano sends his son home. He hasn't been seen on school grounds since.

Afternoon that same day Asano stands and waits for 3-E to descend their mountain and he ambushes them. Throws his pride to the dust and  _ bows _ to them, asking 3-E to assassinate his father's ideals and take top spots in the finals. (He deliberately avoids looking at Takebayashi. Takebayashi tells everyone on Main.) 

Asano goes home, showers, eats an early dinner, then goes back to his room. Pulls out his phone and scrolls through his many notifications, and almost replies to some of them. The only person he texts back is Sakakibara. "I'm fine." He feels like a fraud when he hits the send button even though he shouldn't, because he's fine,  _ he's fine. _

Then he turns off his lights and morning alarms for tomorrow, draws the blinds, and sleeps for 13 hours straight.

\--

The pinned Board video is 7.5 seconds long. It's grainy footage of the 3-A classroom from the back, showing rows of students at their respective desks. They are bowing foward. 

There's no sound to accompany the video, but much later one of the 3-A students clarify what has been said. "If you’re dissatisfied, then please put us to class E!" 

It's a declaration of war. No, it's a surrender. 

Both, perhaps. 

The accompanying shot of Principal Asano's face is a mix of shock, confusion and anger. 

In front of him stands his son, who's staring wide-eyed at his classmates. He pans through many different expressions in two seconds (impressive, considering he's always kept a poker face,) that goes from surprise to terror to realization, and then to vindictive pride. His face quickly switches back to almost his usual flat expression - except now, there's a fire in his eyes. 

He spins around and faces the Principal. There has always been a height difference between them, and here it's a marked power imbalance. Some of the students have fallen out of their rigid bows, some looking up and around, shaking a leg, pulling out their phone, fidgeting. 

Asano turns back to him. 

And then without warning, the Principal backhands Asano across the face. 

\--

It's been ten minutes and Asano still  _ hasn't stopped laughing _ . 

"Asano," Anaya tries, her hand gripping onto his forearm, "please." 

Asano  _ giggles _ . He's bleeding. "D-did you see the look on his face?" He gasps like he's breathless for air, "did you see?! -"

\--

"So," Tsubara says. "Who's going to do it?" 

\--

Sakakibara hesitates, and turns around. Behind him stand the other three Virtuosos, looking between each other with nervous determination. Araki grips his shoulder, a spurring look in his eyes, and pushes Sakakibara a little. 

"You do it, then," Sakakibara mouths, scowling. Araki immediately takes a step back, holding both his arms out in surrender. 

Sakakibara turns back to the task at hand. The Principal's office door is foreboding. He does not have good memories of being in that office. He raises his hand again, poised to knock… and his nerves don't let him. 

There is a menagerie down the hallway. Their fellow schoolmates, watching with avid anxiousness, some with their phones out. 

There's no way the Principal would not have heard the commotion going outside his door. Sakakibara feels a sudden chill and eyes the doorway suspiciously, eyes raking the texture for any surveillance devices. 

"Fuck it," Seo says loudly, bodily shoving Sakakibara aside. Before anyone stops him (to be fair, no one was quite jumping to restrain Seo from running headfirst into the lion's den,) he lifts a leg and drives it into the wood. The door unceremoniously bursts open. 

On the other side of the door there is an unobstructed view of the Principal at his desk, midway through his work. He looks impassioned, like this was a normal day of the week, and he has no fucking right to be. 

"Seo," Principal Asano says, "that entrance is hardly respectable behaviour-" 

"You know," Araki says loudly, cutting him off. It's something he never would have done even a day ago, and for that bold uncharacteristic interruption Araki earns a second of perplexed silence from not just the Principal but also from the peanut gallery. He would have been terrified, Araki thinks, if someone had told him yesterday that he would have to talk back to the Principal and say something blatantly rude to his face. 

Who is he kidding? He still is.

(Television and radio news hosts are held to impossibly high standards. They're never to deviate from the script, never to speak out of turn; look professional, sound professional, and deliver information that best caters to the audience - and more often than not it meant kissing ass.

But the thing is, as Broadcasting President, it is his responsibility to talk about school matters. Speak out about issues that deserved to be spoken out about. Sometimes it was a leaky tap in the fourth floor males bathroom, sometimes it was class ranking or event emceeing. And sometimes, it was this.) 

"You know he's not going back with you tonight." 

Principal Asano is chilling. "I beg your pardon." 

\--

The finals results are out.

As the acting homeroom teacher, the Principal walks into the 3-A classroom with the result slips in his hands, a terrifyingly unreadable expression on his face. Asano is in his usual seat, looking placid. If he knows anything about the results, he doesn’t give it away.

One by one the students - called out by alphabetical order - go up to receive their transcripts. They are handed their papers face-down and they hold them there, (even though in normal circumstances most people would flip them over immediately. Maybe it’s the Principal’s presence that required an unnatural air of propriety and professionalism, maybe it was the nervous buzzing of what the results might mean to this class - and possibly the entire school - as a whole, the uncertainty and weight of the situation requiring mutual reassurance, and hence it being an unspoken act of support to wait until everyone got their test results before the reveal.)

The very last student, Zenin Akita, his result slip crumpled in his hands, sits back in his chair. The Principal stares wordlessly. Asano glances to his left, right, and knocks his desk once.

Everybody flips over their papers. 

3-A spectacularly falls out of the top spots. 

There’s a palpable silence that stretches so long, you could hear a pin drop. The Principal is waiting for a reaction, for any one of them to say something, for  _ something _ -

Asano gets to his feet. Nobody else moves.

“Let me guess,” Asano says, voice curling. “Karma Akabane came in first place?”

Oh.  _ Oh. _

There’s no “too”, “as well”, no pleased satisfied look on Asano’s face - just a cold, slightly disappointed quirk in his eyebrow. It says a lot, and it means one thing only:  Asano had come in second.

The Principal twitches, just a little bit. Everyone in class notices.

“Even I couldn’t get the kind of grades to brag about,” Asano continues. He cocks his head. “I’ll definitely make use of this  _ frustration  _ for the future.” There’s something smug in his tone, like he’s trying to prove a point.

He turns back to class A, then, and a spark in his eyes jumps to life in him. “Even in high school, I’ll win, and keep showing you guys how to do it. So please, keep supporting  _ me _ , I’ll lead the way!”

Before anybody responds to that, the Principal steps forward. His voice is cold and harsh, and  _ bitter _ . ”Can you say the same thing after you  _ lost _ a battle to the death?”

“Principal!” Someone yells.

“Life is always hard to understand,” he says, a hand placed delicately on Asano’s shoulder. “You never know if your life is at stake in a battle until it’s all over. That’s why you need to keep winning to survive.  And,” he sighs, like this is all too hard for him, “I’m obligated to teach you that. Until you graduate, I’ll be sure to  _ thoroughly  _ work on your minds.”

“Principal,” Araki says, catching his attention. He and the three other Virtuosos step forth, behind Asano, between him and the rest of their classmates. “You’re right.”

“We get it now,” Sakakibara continues, knowing very well that this lesson was not the one they were supposed to get. “We’ll never be able to beat class E with your methods.”

“They and Gakushuu all got stronger from their losses,” Koyama says.

“We could never hold a candle to their strength,” Seo says.

“We apologize for being weak.” Sakakibara bows, and everyone else follows suit.

They all tried their best this time - no tricks, no cutting corners, and suffered a true defeat. It burns within them. Failure in that battle, but also so close to a victory in what really matters. "If you’re dissatisfied, then please put us to class E!" 

\--

“Oh my god.” 3-A is all out in the courtyard. Sprawled on the floor, leaning against the pillars, crouched by the benches, huddled in a circle. “Oh my god.”

"Why am I crying? I wasn’t even the one who - why am I crying?”

Half of them are. Sniffling, laughing, giggling, sobbing.

Asano is there, braced against a wall, but he slowly sinks down to his knees. There are tears silently streaming down his face, and he has a hand covering his right cheek, but he’s grinning.

“This,” he says, pressing his free hand to his chest, “is called relief.” 

\--

Koyama used to be a coward. Plain as day, he used to be unsure of himself and his abilities - until one day Asano came up to him and said, “for someone of your caliber, you can afford to look down on others more.”

That was in first year. For what Asano says, he’s a little bit of a hypocrite. It’s no question that Asano is not soft-spoken about his ideals. Being confident, arrogant and proud are three different things, and Asano is all of them. And yet somehow, even though he never says it, Koyama can’t help but think that Asano looks down on himself more than he looks down on anyone else.

The advice is not good. Asano, similarly, is not a good person - he’s spiteful, cunning, he looks down on others. That is evident enough in what he tells Koyama, and under his gaze Koyama can’t help but feel judged. That is also evident in the way he treats people. For a very long time, nobody really liked him. The fact that he was the son of the Principal was already a deterrent - that just wasn’t the kind of company anyone wanted to get mixed up with (but in the complete opposite way of getting mixed up with someone like Karma Akabane). 

Asano was also undoubtedly, unapologetically mean (and honestly, he still is, but he’s gotten better at not showing it). If he so much as stared at you, you felt so scrutinized and vulnerable you were filled with the overwhelming need to run. If he spoke to you, he gave off the impression that you should have felt ashamed for wasting his time - for not immediately taking a look at him and knowing what message he wanted to convey. (And he was good at that too, telling people what he wanted them to do in as little words as possible.)

He was not a nice person. He came in top for everything and there was a brief month of speculation about rigging the results. The teachers seemed to dote on him, although that might have been their fear for incurring the Principal’s wrath. He was an intimidating boy for more reasons than one, and despite his grades nobody approached him for help or asked him for tuition or anything of the sorts.

And then one fine morning in the 1-A classroom, the day of their first term finals results release, the students are seated and staring at their laps and Asano is not there. Instead his father is, the Principal berating them with a disappointed tone in him that felt like Asano threefold, the results slips in his hands. Everyone is a little bitter, a little jealous, that the golden child is given a pass for the lecture. 

”I have handpicked all of you for the top class because I believed in your aptitude,” Principal Asano says, “but I will not hesitate to move any of you out if you do not prove yourselves. The results of your papers have been disappointing,-”

The door bursts open. It’s Asano, looking mildly inconvenienced. “Have you considered,” he drawls, ”that perhaps it is not the students who lack aptitude, but it is you, your incompetent teaching staff and your inadequate curriculum that have failed?”

1-A gapes. Someone sucks in a breath.

The Principal looks unfazed. “You have a lot of nerve, arriving late and speaking like that, given that you yourself have failed to reach expectations.”

“Apologies that I'm falling short of my goal with a 496,” Asano says, obnoxious and patronizing and bold. "I'll remember your valued criticism the next time I'm reviewing test questions such as question 21 of your Mathematics Paper covering supplementary topic Algebra 2.1 that, according to the Japanese National Education standard curriculum released in March earlier this academic year, is classified under a middle school second year topic,” and for the first time class 1-A thinks they’ve gone straight from contempt to a little bit in love.

So a little bit later that week Asano says to Koyama, “for someone of your caliber, you can afford to look down on others more.” That sentence was telling about his character, but for all that it sounded condescending and spiteful, the intention was there. Be more confident about your abilities. 

Koyama will, he thinks. He’s never really got the chance to do so before, not in a way that matters to him.

\--

“Fuck it,” Seo had said, and kicked the Principal’s door down. The Principal is on the other side in the far end of his office, in the middle of his work.

"Seo," Principal Asano says, "that entrance is hardly respectable behaviour-" 

"You know," Araki says loudly, cutting him off. "He's not going back with you tonight." 

The temperature in the room - and the Virtuosos aren’t technically even in the room - drops several degrees. The Principal’s eyes harden. "I beg your pardon." 

Koyama clears his throat, and stands up straighter. “He’s not going back with you tonight,” he repeats. Pauses. Corrects himself, “ _ we’re _ not letting him go back with you tonight.” 

Principal Asano gets up to his feet, but they stay planted. If they run, they’ll just keep running, but there’s no where else to go. 

“You know, I’ve seen him cry,” Sakakibara says loudly, and the Principal actually stops in his tracks.

“First year, as he’s coming out of your office. He was trying to hide it.” Sakakibara takes a breath. “He’s gotten better at it.”

It’s quiet, even in the hallway, as everyone holds bated breaths. Sakakibara turns his head and makes it obvious that there are more people beyond the four of them waiting out there, but there’s no point in hiding it - besides, the Principal probably already knows. 

“We were there, you know,” Sakakibara continues, holding his head high. “We cleaned up blood after the pole-toppling tournament. We called the ambulance. You told us to poison the 3-E kids. I’m going to say right now that we’re scared. We’re scared of you, and you already know that, but we’re also scared for him.”

Araki places a hand on Sakakibara’s shoulder. “You don’t like what we’re saying," Araki says. "We aren’t trying to pass judgement here, we don’t know what it’s like to be an educator or a parent and we respect your capabilities. We appreciate the work you have done for us, and we’ve improved greatly under your management since we’ve first enrolled here... It is probably unbecoming of us to admit weakness, as you've taught us countless times, but sometimes you have to acknowledge them.”

“We’re going to my house,” Sakakibara says. “You know the address. We’re telling you this because otherwise it’d actually be kidnapping. You can come pick him up if you want, and we will respect that decision. But we hope you’ll respect ours, too, and don’t.”

Before they get any reaction, Seo steps in front of them again, takes the door handle, quickly pulls it back and shuts it with a soft click. There's no immediate outburst from behind the door, it doesn't suddenly fling open, and they don't get thrown out on their asses. The four exchange mortified looks, take a step back in unison, and release a breath they were collectively holding. 

_ Then  _ they run.

\--

("We don't like Asano because we think he's a saint who descended from the lands of sugar and spice,” Rukiyo explains, (a whole year later when she and Karma Akabane had somehow become friends in Kunugigaoka High as she tries to stop him from stabbing his strawberry milk box with a pen to vent his frustrations.) “We stood behind him even though he's a mean bitch, _because_ he's our mean bitch and we trust him as our leader, to keep us safe and headed in the right direction."

"We don't trust him because we think he's too good to betray us," Kabaya translates. "We trust him because he's selfish and we're his."

"I know you think all of us 'Main Campus' people are idiots with blind faith," Rukiyo says, tone light but eyes hard, "we're not stupid, Karma, we're in Kunugigaoka after all; we don't choose our president just because he has a pretty face."

"Of course not," Karma says weakly.

“Besides,” Rukiyo says, leaning forward. “You forget who our old principal was. Of course we would pick the one and only person who stands a chance against him.”)

\--

Rarely, (save for when half the sports team gets sprains,) are there so many people filtering in and out of the nurse’s office. Even rarer are times when the visitors look even more distressed than the patients - patient, singular.

But never once has domestic violence occurred so blatantly in the walls of this school, so nurse Chiyo lets it slide. 

When she thinks she’s seen the last of them the door bursts open again, and she sighs. It’s the top five-minus-one of the year 3 students, trying - despite their supposed shared intellect - to clamber through the narrow doorway all at once.

“Asano! Asano!” One of them is yelling. “You’ll never guess what we did!”

“Shh,” Chiyo says. “No loud noises. The patient has a headache.”

“Ohhh,” another one says. “Shhh!”

“Shhh,” the other three echo.

Chiyo sighs. 

Asano steps out from the adjoined room, wincing a little. Despite that, he looks happy, more relaxed than Chiyo has ever seen him. She already knows what happened, because the students that have visited so far are boisterous gossipers. There’s apparently a video, too, which they showed her. It’s not her place to say anything, but she’s secretly relieved that it was filmed.

The kid really knows how to break his fall. He doesn’t even have a broken bone - which she wouldn’t be surprised if he did, considering how he crashed into those tables. He’s not even going to be walking away with a sprain - just some bruises. 

“Hi,” Asano says. He looks amused, holding the ice pack up to his face. 

“We  _ defied death _ ,” one of the kids whispers, his eyes glittering with exhilaration. Children were so dramatic, honestly-

“We told the Principal he was  _ wrong _ !”

Chiyo stands corrected. Defying death was certainly an apt description.

\--

Takebayashi comes to visit the nurse’s office late afternoon - something about Asano? Seeing the aftermath of the sports festival, he hopes he's okay, but he's heard from 3-B that there's no immediate danger. He arrives in to see his schoolmates already in the hallway, in not a way he expects.

Tsubara has Asano in a grappling hold as Asano screams bloody murder underneath him, Koyama is over to the side holding everyone’s bags, Sakakibara and Araki with in front of Asano’s face with a laptop open to what looks to be a powerpoint slide covered in bullet points, and Seo trying to tie Asano’s legs together only to be almost kicked in the face.

“You,” Tsubara hisses. “You know martial arts, right? Help me!”

“This is a kidnapping!” Asano shrieks. 

“This is  _ not _ a kidnapping!” Sakakibara hollers over him. “We made that clear! Slides 5 to 7!”

Araki sifts through the slides. "Reasons why you should come willingly," is the title of the powerpoint. Slide 5: "This is not a kidnapping."

“Kidnapping,” Koyama rattles off nervously, as Takebayashi has learnt he is prone to doing, “Is the unlawful transportation, asportation and confinement of a person against their will. We have not transported you anywhere. You came to school of your own accord. As you are still a minor, you are under your father’s legal guardianship. We have informed him of the arrangement and let him know he is within his rights to stop us, so it is not unlawful asportation-”

“I’m being confined!” Asano says a little hysterically. He kicks again, narrowly missing Seo, who grabs onto one of Asano’s shoes and tugs hard on his shoelace until it comes untied.

“Well, yes,” Koyama says. “But this is not breaking the law. And because it does not fulfil the two requirements prior, this can be called an unwilling confinement but not a kidnapping.” 

Asano stills, which allows Seo to quickly tie both of Asano’s shoes together. Takebayashi doesn’t think he notices.

“Once I get out of here,” Asano hisses, “ _ you _ will be unwillingly confined.” Then he throws his head back and glares at Tsubara. “Have you been training without me?”

“I’ve been preparing for this moment,” Tsubara tells him solemnly. But he finally lets Asano go, because there was no way to  ~~ kidnap  ~~ unlawfully transport him while he’s in a hold, and Asano huffs and tries to stand up,

and falls flat on his face,

which allows Tsubara to immediately scoop him up in a fireman’s carry. 

“You  _ bitch! _ ” Asano screams. 

“My driver’s here let’s go,” Sakakibara says in a quick breath. “Come on guys thanks Takebayashi tell Watanabe what you need to tell us have fun update the Board see you!”

“What,” Takebayashi says, “the fuck?”

“Oh boy,” Watanabe says, linking an arm in his. “You have so much to catch up on.”

“It’s been one school day.”

“ _ You have so much to catch up on _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are.  
> This was certainly not how I expected this chapter to turned out. I was already thinking about it since the start of the fic and when I actually came down to writing it... this happened. I do favor non-sequential stuff when I'm in a melancholy mood, do let me know what you think!   
> The rest of the chapters aren't going to be like this, don't worry. 
> 
> **Chapter notes:**
> 
> lkjhgjk I think you guys find this annoying to read but... it's here.  
> Obligatory Is-This-Canon? The scene in the classroom after they get their results (the Slap basically), has canon dialogue. It starts from Asano's "even I couldn't get the kind of grades to brag about" as he addresses the class, and everything said is canon up until, well, the slap. Rather obviously, nothing else about this chapter is canon at all. 
> 
> I mentioned a random student "Zenin Akita" in 3-A, as the last person to collect his result slip because I made them go by alphabetical order and I won't even explain why Z comes last. He has never been brought up before. I don't even know if that's a real name. Zen'in apparently means "everybody" in Japanese which is funny and fits.
> 
> That scene with Rukiyo and Karma is actually an excerpt from a fic idea I will probably never finish (Karushuu High School AU, Again). Easter egg! In my first ever fic I wrote for this damn site, Rukiyo and Kabaya were OCs - Karma's friends in high school. Rukiyo moved up from Kunugigaoka Middle but Kabaya joined in high school. I was going to edit this dialogue in this fic's context, but I decided that my dead fic idea shall have a mini memorial here. RIP 
> 
> To whoever who @s me for taking names from BnHA, yeah YEAH we have a nurse name Chiyo now. Whatcha gonna do about it? Huh? HUH? 
> 
> Also I'll just like to say I absolutely had fun massacring my dear Gakushuu Asano here. Love him, he's a little bitch. Everybody is an asshole in this fic - no one gets off unslandered, not on my watch. Equal treatment, or whatever. Love you 3-E


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. What's going to happen? I don't know. Heheh.
> 
> Yeah, I skipped over the "play" that is supposed to happen. I don't care too much about it, and I don't think anything of note happens there... does it?

Takebayashi slides a piece of paper - blank, except with an odd squiggle on it - across the table. Watanabe takes one glance at it before her eyes go huge, and the next moment she has lunged over the desk and tackled Takebayashi to the ground.

Asano picks the paper up. He rotates it all around and still doesn’t see the appeal. “What is this?”

“Oh,” Sato says. “It’s Haruna Mase’s autograph.”

Asano squints at it. He thinks he may be able to make out the kanji, almost. “Ah,” he says, obviously not comprehending anything.

“Cool,” Sakakibara says, reaching over to pat Asano on the head. He enjoys seeing his friend out of his depth - confused is a very good look on Asano - and he enjoys casual affection even more. (There still runs the risk of getting his hand bitten off, of course, but it’s a risk he’s willing to take.)

“If you have this,” Araki says. “That means Yukimura’s secret about being Haruna Mase has come to light. Right?”

There’s still the sounds of a scuffle happening under the table. Everybody politely avoids looking down. Finally Takebayashi pops back out from under the table again, owlishly blinking at the onlookers. He’d lost his glasses.

“Um,” he says, “yeah. She told us and tried to kill Koro-sensei.”

“God,” Watanabe’s voice says. “Kotarou, you’re so fucking  _ blind _ .”

“Give those back,” Takebayashi says.

“I don’t like your glasses, they’re so tacky,” Watanabe sighs, as she hands them over. “You should wear contacts.”

“So Yukimura told you?” Asano prompts politely.

“Ah, right. Yes. There was a dramatic tell-all speech. The Board’s previous theories were right - although a bit could be expanded on. Firstly, we were right in assuming that Koro-sensei was a previous human assassin turned laboratory experiment turned octopus creature. Although as it turns out, Koro-sensei used to be the world’s best assassin, the God of Death. The previous God of Death was his old apprentice that betrayed him and sold him out to be a human experiment.”

“Oh,” Sato winces. “Ah. Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Takebayashi says, and adjusts his glasses. “The experiment in question was how the human body would react with antimatter. Koro-sensei didn’t blow up the moon, actually. The scientists pumped a mouse full of antimatter and put it up on the moon, and it blew up because of an overload of antimatter. By that time they were already saturating Koro-sensei with antimatter, which they couldn’t reverse. After the mouse took half the moon with it, the scientists calculated that Koro-sensei would blow up as well and take the whole Earth with him with that explosion. They decided to terminate him.”

“But he escaped,” Asano says.

“Yes,” Takebayashi says. “With the help of the old 3-E teacher and Kayano’s sister, Yukimura-sensei. Um, the way he described it, I’m pretty sure they had some weird love story going on-”

“I knew it!” Watanabe interrupts triumphantly.

“-but you had it right. Yukimura-sensei used to be the fiance of Yanagisawa, who was the head scientist of the antimatter research - oh, by the way, Yanagisawa and Shiro are the same person. Koro-sensei’s escape set off a lot of traps in the lab that were built to prevent his escape, and a lot of people died because of the traps. Yukimura-sensei was one of them.”

“Oh,” Araki says.

“This is where Kayano comes in. She was apparently at the lab that day, and she saw Koro-sensei over her dead sister’s body. She came to the conclusion that Koro-sensei had killed her, and vowed to take revenge. She figured out Koro-sensei was coming to be her old class’s teacher because he, uh, wrote a note.”

“A note,” Asano says flatly.

“A note,” Takebayashi shrugs. “Saying essentially 'I'll be the new teacher for Kunugigaoka Class 3-E. Left it next to Yukimura-sensei’s dead body.”

“So he’s been terrible at being subtle all the way from the beginning,” Asano surmises, which makes everyone laugh. “How did he even become the world’s best assassin?”

“He didn’t notice his apprentice betraying him either so I don’t know,” Takebayashi says.

“What happens next?” Watanabe says.

“She came to Kunugigaoka and demanded to be put in 3-E. She had to smash one of the Principal’s things before that, apparently.” Takebayashi risks a glance at Asano, but the boy is grinning. 

“Nice,” Yuna says.

“Oh!” Before that, she took some of the tentacles. Um, remember Itona? Koro-sensei was a special case where they pumped the antimatter directly to his human body. There’s a separate version where the antimatter can be implanted as an external appendage which are the tentacles. Like how Itona had them at the top of his head but kept his, ah, human form. Kayano did the same thing actually, where she had the implanted tentacles at the back of her neck. She staged an assassination on Koro-sensei and she came the closest to it, too. But the full story came out, she calmed down, and she forgave Koro-sensei.”

There’s a silence.

“That’s stupid,” Sakakibara concludes. 

Takebayashi startles. “Is it?”

“Obviously,” Watanabe says, sniffing. “Sentimentality should only justify actions so far. She should have killed him.”

A wave of irritation flicks over Takebayashi. “He’s our teacher.”

“And there are seven billion people in this world that would all die when your teacher explodes,” Araki says.

“Although, I don’t get it,” Asano muses. “What good will killing him do?”

Takabayashi blinks. “He doesn’t blow up?”

“But he already doesn’t want to blow up,” Asano says. “It’s not a conscious effort on his part. You said the mouse blew up because of an overload of antimatter, well, that’s not something that can be controlled, can it? He and the earth blow up because he is unable to hold all that antimatter in. That’s going to happen when he dies, if you all manage to kill him.”

“I…” Takebayashi looks confused. “I guess?”

“It’s like a balloon,” Yuna says. “You blow into it until it’s almost going to pop, right? That’s what happened to the mouse - the balloon popped on its own. And what you guys are trying to do, is to stop the balloon from popping by itself - except the way you guys are doing that is to pop the balloon yourselves. Either way, it’s still. Going to.  _ Pop. _ ”

“I… guess so?” Takabayashi holds his head. “I don’t know! I just accepted it as a fact, I don’t know!”

“Hm…” Asano muses. “The science behind this is actually worth expanding on.”

\--

“So…”

“Yes, Watanabe?” Asano says. 

Asano’s been in a better mood recently, despite the bandage on the cheek. Maybe because of it? He seems to have been delighted that the Principal has shown human emotion, regardless of what said human emotion is. Watanabe doesn’t really understand, but he’s apparently not living at home anymore (for the time being). It makes her feel much more optimistic in approaching him with a, uh, ridiculous idea.

“I was thinking…” She drums her fingers against the tabletop. “Can we… tell Akari Yukimura about us?”

Asano blinks at her. “What?”

“I was bouncing the idea around with Kotarou…” she says, twiddling her fingers together. “She’s been feeling bad, and the class is awkward around her. And she’s dealing with a big loss now… her parents are not there and her sister’s been her primary caretaker, essentially. I guess…” she fiddles with a strand of her, knowing that Asano is normally unmoving against cuteness and trying anyways, “we were thinking of showing her that she’s not alone. That even if 3-E doesn’t understand, we do.”

Asano looks conflicted. “We can’t afford to have more people knowing.”

“Whole of Main already knows.”

“...”

“...”

“...” 

“Ugh, okay-”

“Yay! Love you!”

“-we are going to  _ discuss _ this first,” Asano says, holding a finger up warningly. “With the rest of the main Board group. I’m not the only stakeholder in this situation.”

“Yes sir,” Watanabe beams at him. She’d already okay-ed the idea with everyone else, anyways. Asano was the last one of the bunch to convince, mainly because he’s usually the hardest person to talk over. He must  _ really _ be in a good mood then.

Asano narrows his eyes at her.

\--

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Asano mumbles. 

“I think you’re more open to the found family trope now that you’ve experienced it in real life,” Sato says wisely.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“What I can’t believe,” Sato says,”‘is Watanabe spending so much on flowers.”

At that, the girl tries to stuff the bouquet behind her back. Her face is red. “Shut up. People being sick people flowers, right? That’s a thing.”

“Uh huh,” Asano says.

Takebayashi is waiting at the entrance of the hospital. “She’s getting discharged in a bit, we’ll wait here and then we can go somewhere more comfortable. She’s a little weirded out because we aren’t exactly, ah, the best of friends.” He stares at the flowers behind Watanabe’s back. “Are those for me?”

“In your dreams,” she says, still blushing. 

“How’s your dad?” Takebayashi says to Asano, attempting conversation. He’d told them earlier about Principal Asano coming up to their 3-E classroom and attempting to demolish it, and then him bringing live grenades into their proximity. Asano hadn’t seemed surprised, and everyone else was ready to call the police. 

Grenades? Really?

“He’s okay,” Asano shrugs. “He’s been really weird. He gave me cookies.”

"They were poison," Watanabe says dramatically.

“What?!”

“They weren’t poison,” Asano rolls his eyes. “I ate one, and I’m fine. I didn't eat the rest, because I don't like cookies.”

“They could have been poison,” Watanabe says. “We know he’s not above poisoning people.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you eat a sweet in my life,” Sato says.

“A well meaning but terrible gift for his paranoid, sweet hating son,” Watanabe says. “Although I say the paranoia is not unfounded. And it's his fault that he doesn't know you well enough to know you don't eat cookies."

Asano shrugs, again. 

"Um," someone says, and suddenly Haruna Mase or Akari Yukimura or Kayano Kaede is there, holding a bag and looking extremely confused. "...Takebayashi?" 

Watanabe screams. Sato slaps a hand over her mouth. 

"Kayano, this is Asano - you know him. These two are Sato and Watanabe from 3-B. Guys, Kayano." 

"...Hi," Kayano says. 

"Hello," Asano says pleasantly, smiling a little. "I asked Takebayashi to arrange for us to meet you. I know you don't have the best impression of me and I understand, but we have something to share with you and I'm hoping you'll hear us out." 

Watanabe has gotten out of Sato's grip. From the way Sato is shaking his hand with a disgusted look on his face, it looks like Watanabe had just licked it. "That sounds like an MLM pitch," she says. 

Kayano giggles a little at that. "It does." 

"Is Kunugigaoka an MLM?" Sato muses out loud. "Actually-" 

"Let's walk," Asano interrupts. "There's a nice cafe down the block, if you don't mind? My treat." 

Kayano opens her mouth to reply but Watanabe beats her to it. "Really??? Thank you, Asano!" 

"I wasn't talking to y-" 

"I want the biggest frappe they got," Watanabe proclaims. "Let's go!" 

Asano rolls his eyes and sighs as she drags him along with her. Kayano falls into step with Takebayashi. “They’re… unexpected,” she says. 

“Yeah?” Takabayashi has to agree. “Don’t worry. Things are about to get weirder.”

\--

Five overpriced drinks later, Asano is grumbling as he stuffs his noticeably thinner wallet back into his pocket and everyone has a snack. Kayano settles into her chair, unsure what to expect, when Watanabe hands her the bouquet, “It’s for you,” she says, blushing, “Um. Hospital. Sick. Flowers.”

“Oh, thank you,” Kayano says. She doesn’t know this girl?

“I think we shall start,” Asano says. “Kayano. This may be odd but-”

“We know you’re Haruna Mase,” Watanabe blurts. Claps her hand over her mouth. Immediately Kayano swings over and clocks Takebayashi in the face. She’s furious. “You told them!-”

“No!” Takebayashi says, holding his hands up in defense.

Watanabe jumps to it. ”We figured it out at the start of the year! I’m your biggest fan, um, sorry this is so weird. I run a twitter stan account for you. I’d recognize you anywhere! I’m so sorry.”

Kayano looks like she’s stuck on a blue error screen. Her hands are still fisted in Takebayashi’s collar, but Takebayashi slowly extricates them from her grip. 

Asano coughs. He slides his phone over which she snatches up with a fury. It’s open to a page in the Board - the first ever post, dated at the start of the year. She silently scrolls, but her eyes grow wider with every second. 

“Yeah,” Takebayashi says. “Let it sink in. I was like that too.”

“How the fuck did you-”

“Remember when I joined Main campus for like, three days?”

“Then?!”

“Yeah.”

Kayano is silent for a bit. Then she looks up, eyes wide and soft, and smiles at Asano. “You went to my sister’s funeral,” she says in a soft voice.

Asano blinks at her, then turns a little pink. “Uh.”

“Thank you.”

Asano scratches the back of his neck. “Thanks for breaking my dad’s laptop.”

“You- what- oh?” Kayano laughs. “I enjoy breaking the Principal’s stuff.” 

Sato, Watanabe, and Takebayashi look between them, quickly.

Kayano looks back down at the phone, furrows her brow, then clicks. Sato’s tinny voice comes out from the speaker. “Updates from Okinawa,” he’s saying, “hello Kunugigaoka! As we can see here-”

“Okinawa, too,” Kayano gasps. She scrolls down and sees a selfie between Saito and Bitch-sensei, then raises an eyebrow. Takebayashi puts his hands up in a what-can-you-do? gesture.

“Oh, huh,” she’s laughing a little, and turns the phone over to see the baseball game with Koro-sensei’s face poking out of the grass, his huge head poorly disguised as a giant baseball with a wide smile. “I guess I never thought about how obvious that was.”

She scrolls a little more, then stares again at a series of pictures taken in the immediate aftermath of the pole toppling Principal’s office incident, with the exchange students holding up bloody peace signs and smiling extremely exhaustedly into the camera. 

“Ah, yeah, that was a big mess,” Takebayashi mumbles.

“What’s this?” Kayano says, and clicks on a video. She watches seven seconds of Asano being slapped play in a loop three times. She lifts a finger, points it at her cheek in the mirror position of where Asano wears his bandage, and raises an eyebrow.

Asano sighs and nods.

“Hm,” she says, then perks up brightly. “I can break more of his stuff for you!”

“That’s not necessary,” Asano mumbles.

“You told them about the grenades, right?” She says to Takebayashi.

“Yes, of course.”

“Are you still staying at home?” Kayano says abruptly. “You can come to mine! I live alone since my sister is dead.”

Asano is full on red-faced now. “I’m at Ren’s,” he says quickly. “Sakakibara.” 

Watanabe bursts into laughter.

“You know, I hate people like that,” Kayano continues. “Yanagisawa - my sister’s ex fiance but you all already knew that - used to hit her. She came home with bruises all the time. I hate him, but at that time I hated Koro-sensei more. I would have killed him, if I got the chance… or at least ruin him forever. I’m not sure I’m cut out for murder after all.”

“We can do something to ruin him,” Asano blurts. Then abruptly falls silent.

“But you’ve already done so much…” Kayano’s still scrolling. “Takaoka? You guys helped get the Principal too? Come to think of it, it makes sense he’d be ambivalent, he doesn’t seem like a person particularly against child abuse…” she glances quickly up at Asano and winks. “Aww. You’re a bit of an asshole, Asano, but i kinda like you now.”

“You’re so mean!” Watanabe cackles, and pats Asano’s head. It’s awkward with the height difference. 

Kayano shrugs, but she’s smiling. “I’m supposed to meet Karma and Nagisa soon, actually. They know I’m getting discharged today. I need to go home and drop everything off.” She taps on the phone, then hands it back. “I put my number in your phone, okay? I expect regular updates on whatever you guys do.”

“Of course,” Asano says. Pauses. “I meant it. About Yanagisawa. We can figure something out.”

“Trash his life forever!” Watanabe throws her hands in the air. “Oohh, I love it when Asano does things like that! It’s hot. It’s hot, isn’t it?”

“Hot,” Takebayashi and Sato agree, nodding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is all for today. Did you expect this? Yes? No? Heheh.  
> Stay tuned for more... theorizing, ruining Yanagisawa's lifeing, and Kayano Kaede.
> 
> Chapter Notes:  
> Fun note: Takebayashi and Yanagisawa have the same first name: Kotaro/Kotarou. The kanji is different or something, I think. Neat.  
> Asano won't end up in any ships this fic, but ahh I couldn't resist, okay? Kayano/Gakushuu is one of my beloved rarepairs (although I think i have yet to write a fic about them? I want to.)  
> I think I generally write Akari Yukimura... way different. Kayano Kaede is a nice cheery girl, but Akari to me is the most street-type and determined person, possibly more so than Karma. She went undercover and acted flawlessly for almost a year just to enact revenge. She's also in the movie industry, and you know how someone has to be to survive there - I bet you she's as "eye-for-an-eye" as they come. She lies and breaks things to get her way, she's not afraid of death. Love her.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit I'm not a fan of regular pre-reveal Kayano Kaede. She's plain, unassuming, and doesn't seem to have adopted much personality - which is actually great, because she's supposed to be undercover. That's the perfect forgettable persona.  
> But the problem is of course that by the time Kayano reaches her main plot point that actually makes her an interesting character, it's already the later half of season two and everybody has their own favorites by now. That, and the reveal was so poorly set up! (Let's face it, almost seeing the silhouette of what could be maybe tentacles in the background of 3 different manga panels throughout like 100 chapters does NOT constitute a great setup for a plot twist.)   
> Also, they made her post-reveal personality the exact COPY of her pre-reveal personality. Which was like, what?? I remember the narration vaguely explaining it like "Kayano discovered love and friendship, and truly became the nice girl like she pretended to be." No oh my god change it back, pre-canon Akari was the coolest. BOO 
> 
> Post-reveal Kayano is PERFECT. I headcanon aggressive spitfire Akari Yukimura. Sis really knows how to hold a grudge, and she's not above breaking some stuff to get what she wants.

"Our hypothesis is that regardless of whether or not 3-E manages to 'assassinate' Koro-sensei, he'll blow up regardless," Asano says.  So the antimatter in Koro-sensei’s body builds up over time, and when it reaches a certain threshold, he would blow up.  Every time one of your classmates successfully launches an attack at him, one of his tentacles explode.The explosion size is proportional to the amount of antimatter released at the point of impact,” he pauses, “and we can deduce that his body will react the same way. When it explodes, because of the immense density of his antimatter mass, he might take out the planet.” 

“That’s right,” Kayano says.

"The concern is that even if you manage to kill him - ergo by stabbing his heart - before the antimatter level surpasses the threshold on it's own, the current level of antimatter mass in his body would be enough to cause an explosion big enough to take out the earth. After all, a mouse can only hold so much mass, and it took out more than half the moon."

“Every time your class takes out a tentacle, he loses some antimatter in the explosion, which might be contributing to the lower rate of antimatter buildup. There’s a possibility that if you simply keep removing tentacles from him to get rid of the excess antimatter, it will never reach the threshold to induce an explosion.”

“That’s interesting,” Araki muses. “A bunch of small explosions over time instead of a mega one.”

“But… when your tentacles and Itona’s tentacles run their course… they don’t explode. They simply shrivel out and waste away. So there’s a possibility that if Koro-sensei simply burns more energy faster than he can create antimatter...”

“He’ll just have a net loss of antimatter and not be at danger of blowing up,” Sakakibara says.

“He travels really quickly, and a lot,” Kayano says. “Perhaps it contributes, too, because he’s burning tons of energy each time.”

“His two main weaknesses are this anti-sensei material,” Asano touches the rubbery knife with an odd look on his face, “and water. The anti-sensei material is the only thing that can cut the antimatter, and water makes the tentacles, ah, swell up.”

“Antimatter is…” Seo drums his hands on the table. “A sponge.”

“This material is the more interesting one,” Koyama says, picking the knife up. “What the hell is it?”

“I have no clue,” Kayano admits. “It’s probably manufactured by Yanagisawa, although I don’t think there’s a way for me to get the plans for that.”

“Speaking of Yanagisawa,” Asano says. “You have another meeting to attend, Kayano.”

“So many?” Kayano sags. “I’m tired. Is that what you Main Campus kids do all day?”

“Among other things,” Asano shrugs.

\--

They move to another classroom, where Operation Blacklist is written on the chalkboard in large font. 

“Hey, it’s the star of the show,” Watanabe says, arms wide. “We have plans! To ruin a life!”

Anaya barely glances up from her phone. “Sup.”

A junior, Kotya, skips up.”Hi, Kayano-senpai,” he says. “I’m Ishubya Kotya. My uncle used to work at Yanagisawa’s lab, and he quit a few months before the incident because he didn’t feel like it aligned with his ethical morals.”

“Your uncle is a smart man,” Kayano says.

Kotya beams at her.

“Three things,” Anaya says, holding three fingers up. “Reputation, credibility, and financially. It’s not enough to slander someone on social media. He has to be discredited in the scientific community, and we have to pull the rug from under him and drive him to bankruptcy.”

“So this is what we have so far,” Chika says, flipping her laptop screen to show off a bullet list. “Ludicrous tabloid-style articles first - drum up the hype, you know? Dig up investigations. Bring a new lead. Spread it all so everyone is taking about it - like a meme - but make the claims so absurd and obviously a troll that Yanagisawa and the other stakeholders have no real incentive to cover it up.”

"Then, we release the truth bombs,” Watanabe says, clapping her hands. “Once everyone is talking about it… we bring in the receipts. Evidence to show the world what a slimeball he is!”

“Scientific credibility,” Saito says. “Now this is a little harder, because according to you his research is technically approved by the governments. Luckily for us, the government is known to do shady things that even the scientific community doubts sometimes.”

“This is where my uncle comes in!” Kotya perks up. “He still has his own contacts. He’s not the only one who walked out of the lab when the human experimentation began, and they kept a few bits of their research because they thought they would need it.”

“Of course to be much safer we need legal expertise,” Asano says. “I can take care of that, get into contact with someone.”

“I can see if my sister has her old work saved,” Kayano gasps. “I still have her stuff!”

“Human experimentation is a big no-no!” Saito sings.

“Financial!” Anaya claps her hands. “This would be harder because he already has his own assets. Hopefully after his ethics come to light he starts losing sponsors and stakeholders, but we need to think even before that. We need to invest so much money into him that he cuts off all his other less profitable investors, so that he’ll have nothing to fall back on when we inevitably drop him!”

“How the hell is this even going to work?” Kayano says, but her eyes are glittering. “Oh gosh…”

“Please,” Anaya rolls her eyes. 

“We’re the queens - plus Saito - of social media,” Watanabe says. “Do you know how many people see a single one of my tweets? How many people do you think see a single one of  _ Asano _ ’s tweets? He posts in like, 10 languages.”

“It doesn’t matter, there’s a translate option.”

“I only know five.”

“ _ Only _ .”

“Besides, this school is made up of children from the most influential families in Japan,” Anaya says. She smiles at Kayano. “I’m including you in the mix, little miss actress. Do you know how much interest you can drum up if you go back online at this juncture? Half the world will be talking about this the very moment we start, and the only reason the other half won’t be is because they’re still asleep in their timezone.”

“This…” Kayano bites her lip. “A release of international secrets. It’s not worth the risk.”

“Why’d you say that after we’ve started planning?” Anaya rolls her eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Kotya speaks up, and he hops over. “The information dump doesn’t have to involve anything about Octopus-sensei, if we don’t want it to. Just expose Yanagisawa’s misdeeds, his terrible treatment towards his fiance and his colleagues. Human experimentation in itself is already pretty bad, and we can tweak things around and say that the test subject died during the explosion.”

“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” Kayano presses her hands to her heart. Her eyes are suspiciously wet. “You guys…”

“Aww,” Watanabe flings an arm around her. “Us Kunugigaoka kids gotta stick together, right? International secrets and life endangerment notwithstanding.”

Anaya leans forward. “We’ll talk about a sponsorship though, right?”

Kayano laughs. “Of course! Whatever you want!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you all know by now that I would be on the Red/KIll team in the 3-E civil war. It's not just because I don't like Koro-sensei, okay. I enjoy the poetry of it (of something coming full circle) and personally I would be kinda pissed if I worked a whole year to do something and ended up, well, not getting to do it. And I'm not just in the middle/borderline Kill/on the fence about it. I'm like 98% for killing Koro-sensei.
> 
> I admit me being on the Kill team does affect me when I'm writing for the Save team... but I'm happy (?) to report that the Main Campus kids are on the Save team, if you guys couldn't tell yet.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Kayano/Gakushuu fic I wrote yesterday:[The Natural Progression of Things](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24373048). You should read it because I wrote it and I love it. (Haha i'm joking, i won't love yall any less if you don't.) Also they have like 4 fics under the ship name, damn. (Don't worry, this fic is still not a ship fic. I just can't resist them interacting even though it never happens in canon.) I'm a little obsessed, I think.
> 
> Oh, yay! A surprising lot of people who commented are on team Kill (yay! Me too!) Don't worry, this fic is all about flipped perspective! Team Save or Team Kill, we're all going to have our thoughts challenged, that's my job!

“And phase one is underway,” Anaya says, watching as numbers jump on the screen.

“Koro-sensei fanart,” Kayano wrinkles her nose. “That is disturbing.”

“Whatever gets clicks,” Chika shrugs. 

“Yeah,” Kayano says. She seems to be deep in thought, gaze jumping between everyone, before she says, “Everyone in my class hates you all.“

Yuna rests her head on her knees. “Yeah, we know.”

“You’re not bothered by it?” Kayano presses.

“Course we are,” Yuu says. “But what can we do about it? We live and let live.”

“You were an exchange student, so you’re newly put into this system,” Watanabe says. “It’s not new. We come in here in first year, we’re told again and again that any mistakes will ship us off to 3-E. You either laugh at 3-E, or  _ be _ 3-E.” 

“They were our friends once, sure,” Yuna says. “I think both parties have given up on reconciling the friendships. They never tried to change the system before they were disadvantaged by it, and now they hate us because we don’t too.”

“Not saying you guys are in the wrong,” Watanabe shrugs. “It’s not like it’s all 3-E’s fault they’re all in 3-E, anyhow. Sometimes it is, but most of the time it isn’t. I think.”

Kayano frowns. “I thought Kunugigaoka kids have to stick together,” she says, parroting their words. “We can work towards one goal to take down someone that doesn’t matter, but not help our own?

“‘S not that easy,” Rukiyo mumbles.

“Not that easy?” Kayano crosses her arms. “For children of the most influential families in Japan?”

Anaya snaps. “Listen, we get that you want to defend your 3-E friends, but we do that here for ours, too. This isn’t a one way street, okay, and keep in mind that they turned away from us as much as we turned away from them. We help out as much as we’re able to or you’ll still be seeing Takaoka or be handling the Principal by yourselves, because guess who’s between the 3-E class up the hill and him? Who do you think that man takes out his frustrations on when you guys piss him off, hah?”

Kayano winces. “I-”

“I don’t want to make Asano an orphan,” Yuna says quietly. Kayano’s eyes snap up at that, burning intensely.

The door opens, and everyone looks up. It’s Asano, who stares at the group and does a double take. “I feel like I’m interrupting something,” he says. “Apologizes. I’m just here for my stuff.”

“Do you say that every time you walk into a room with a bunch of girls?” Rukiyo teases, but the tension is still in the air.

“Never hurts to be safe,” Asano says. He looks over them, frowning. “You girls okay?”

“Do you hate your dad?” Kayano asks, and she earns a sharp look from everyone, but Asano looks so aghast it’s almost like he’d never considered the question before.

When she receives no reply, Kayano repeats her question. “Do you hate your dad?”

“Of course not!” Asano says too quickly, defensively.

“You know, Koro-sensei used to be the world’s best assassin,” Kayano says. “He killed thousands.  _ Thousands _ . Do you hate him?’

“Hate Korosensei?”

“Yes,” Kayano says insistently. “Do you hate Koro-sensei enough to kill him?”

“I…” Asano frowns, conflicted. “I won’t say I harbor a particular hatred for Koro-sensei because I do not know him. Arguably it’s similar to my feelings towards other prolific killers in history. I dislike their actions and ideologies, but I won’t say I hate them. It’s too strong of a personal feeling to apply to someone I do not have an emotional vendetta against.”

“Will you kill him?”

Asano looks distinctly uncomfortable. “In the eyes of the law, he deserves a punishment fitting of his crimes, and I’d say for a thousand deaths, the capital punishment is, ah, fitting.” 

“How about your dad?” Kayano says again. insistently “You hate him, don’t you? After what he did to you.”

Asano recoils. “I do not,” he says.

“So you love him,” Kayano narrows his eyes.

“I…”

“Do you think he should die?!” Kayano stands up quickly, and Asano actually takes a small step back. “Your father killed people. You know he did! He brought fucking grenades to our classroom, all of us should have been in the blast range. He wanted to assassinate Koro-sensei and he didn’t care if some of us went with him-”

“Stop it!” Yuna yells.

“-His academic ideology,” Kayano continues, furious, quicker, “the class E system. How many people failed? How many do you think were bullied so much they were driven to suicide? You know he killed these students indirectly. If Koro-sensei deserves the capital punishment for his deaths-”

“KAYANO!” Anaya snaps.

Asano bolts out of class.

There’s a sharp silence, before Anaya gets up and wordlessly storms off. Everyone else follows, filing quickly out of the classroom and steadfastly ignoring Kayano, until she’s left with Watanabe.

Kayano glares sharply. “What.”

“This is about the civil war,” Watanabe says.

“You know about that?”

“Kotarou told me,” she says, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward. “You and he are both in the Save team.”

Kayano shifts, and crosses her arms again. “Yeah.”

“You won, though,” Watanabe says.

“It’s just…” Kayano looks off into the distance. “I don’t understand. What the Kill team is thinking, I don’t…” She shakes her head. “I don’t know why I even brought it up, Main would obviously be on the Kill side too, you guys are all-”

“Shut up,” Watanabe snaps, and Kayano whips around to glare, but she gets an equally acidic stare back. 

“Seriously, shut up, this isn’t just about you,” Watanabe says, pointing a finger. “You’re on thin ice here.”

“This is a fucking double standard,” Kayano hisses. “You can denounce Koro-sensei for the things he’s done but give the exact pass to others like the Principal-”

“Look deep into your heart and tell me that Principal Asano is as bad as someone who has killed a  _ thousand _ people.” 

“He had  _ circumstances- _ ”

“And a thousand lives didn’t have a thousand circumstances for him to play judge, jury and executioner to all of them? You can’t say someone’s past doesn't not define their actions, and ignore the consequences and repercussions of those actions in the first place. Maybe he truly changed in his heart, but how much will change mean to the hundreds of other little girls who will never ever see their siblings to come home?”

Kayano averts her eyes. “That’s a personal attack,” she mumbles.

“Yeah, because you’ll never personally attack someone,” Watanabe scolds.

Kayano sighs. She dips her head. “That was pretty mean of me, wasn’t it.”

“You asked him if you wanted to kill his dad.”

Kayano stares down at the floor. “Guess I should apologize.”

“Probably,” Watanabe agrees. 

“It’s just… I don’t understand. I spent the whole year hating him, wanting to kill him… each nice thing he did for us made me doubly hate the man because I knew he was a fraud. And in the end I still couldn’t bear to want to kill him, and everyone does.”

“Feelings aren’t always rational,” Watanabe says. ”Maybe you feel guilty for misjudging him. Maybe you think of your sister’s memory through him. Maybe you don’t have a parental figure in your life now, so you subconsciously attached to him anyways. Who knows?” There’s a buzz so Watanabe checks her phone, and sighs. “Dammit. They lost Asano again.”

“What do you mean lost?”

“Asano’s very good at hiding.”

“Ah.”

“They’ll find him - or he’ll have to appear. He’s going back to Sakakibara’s later today to pick up the rest of his stuff. I don’t think anyone of us really wants him to go back to his house, but the Principal is still his dad after all.” She turns to Kayano. “A few of us will be meeting up to study and hang out, you should come.”

Kayano shakes her head. “Doubt I’m still invited.”

“Nah, you are,” Watanabe says. “Takebayashi fought about 3-E with us tons of times before. We were  _ pissed _ at him when he went back to E-Class - he broke a plaque, you know, the Principal was not happy. We’re all stressed out. Fights like this happen all the time. Seo and Chika will  _ never _ get along, Kiyoko and Kaho absolutely hate each other… I don’t think Sakakibara fully forgave Juno for pouring glitter onto his hair. Besides, it’s kinda like 3-E, huh,” Watanabe nudges her. “You guys fight, but you’re still all in it together, right? Forgiven each other? No hard feelings, kill or save?”

Kayano sighs. “Yeah.”

\--

Asano startles when Kayano creeps into his hiding spot. “How-”

“I asked Ritsu,” Kayano says, and settles into a comfortable position. “Yeah, she knows. She tracked you here through the CCTV.”

At the look he gives her, she shrugs. “She’s a supercomputer - whatever takes place on the internet, she sees it. Don’t worry, she hasn’t sold you out yet.”

“Why not?”

“She’s been monitoring your activity and came to the conclusion that you guys aren’t jeopardizing 3-E’s mission or revealing any international secrets to the public. Since it’s harming no one, she made the executive decision to just keep it to herself. She checks in on the Board periodically, she thinks it’s funny.” 

Asano frowns. “Is she allowed to keep secrets from the government like that?”

“Her entire existence is a secret,” Kayano snorts. Asano stares blankly, so she elaborates, “she was originally programmed to be a mindless killing machine. Koro-sensei coded her to have human emotions, where she developed empathy and started becoming akin to an actual human classmate. The government didn’t like that and tried to reset her, but she kept her emotional programming a secret. She’s got a surprisingly large amount of agency and free will for an AI.”

“Huh,” Asano says. “Oh. Thank her for me, I guess.”

Kayano pulls out her cell phone. “Do it yourself.”

Ritsu pops up on screen. Asano looks surprised, but interested. He scoots closer to Kayano. 

“Hi, Asano,” Ritsu says. “Autonomously Intelligent Fixed Artillery, or Ritsu, at your service! I have access to the internet and the school’s server systems, so nothing is really kept a secret from me, but not to worry! I will exercise discretion when protecting the integrity of the governments’ interests and my fellow schoolmates! That extends to the Main Campus, of course, given that I am still a Kunugigaoka Student.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Asano says. 

“I notice you all are interested in investigating the workings behind Koro-sensei’s antimatter properties, and dismantling Yanagisawa’s work. I find both to be noble endeavors and directly benefit 3-E’s current cause, so I’ve taken the liberty of installing myself on your phone as an app right… now!” As if on cue, Asano’s phone lets out a soft ‘ding!’ “You can contact me with more comprehensive notes for any of your causes, and whenever Kayano and Takebayashi are not available. I see you both should have stuff to discuss, so I’ll make myself scarce. Bye bye!”

With that, Ritsu blinks off screen.

“She’s… a character,” Asano says.

“That’s putting it mildly,” Kayano rolls her eyes.

They sit in silence for a bit.

“I want to apologize,” Kayano speaks up. “My words were uncalled for.”

Asano looks at her for a bit, then sighs. “It’s not the first time someone’s asked me about that.”

“Oh?”

Asano stares consideringly, like he’s debating on whether to unlock one page of his backstory or whatever, then shrugs. “I let the teachers know they can ask me anything they can’t ask the Principal about. The new hires usually don’t, because they think I’ll report back to him. The older teachers know we hate each other, so they’re more comfortable with it, and sometimes they talk to me just to hear me diss the Principal’s plans.”

At that, Kayano laughs a little. The sides of Asano’s lips briefly quirk up.

“Your sister was different. She just went up to me after her first week. I was in student council then - not the President, just the secretary. She asked me what the school does to handle the repercussions of the 3-E system on the students’ mental health. I told her that there’s nothing.”

Kayano huffs. “I don’t think she would have liked that answer.”

“She didn’t. She asked if I - or the student representative body, I presume - would feel any responsibility knowing that we drove our classmates to suicide. Then I think she realized she shouldn’t have been asking a 13 year old that question, and she turned around and left.”

“It’s a conversation that should happen.”

“Maybe, but it’s also a flaw of the system,” Asano shrugs. “The youngest kids are 11 when they enroll here. It’s ingrained into their minds. Worse still is that it makes sense.”

“They still have to know it’s wrong, though.” Kayano stares at him critically. “You know this is wrong, right?”

“I thought you came here to apologize, not to question my belief systems,” Asano points out, but it’s not heated. “Yes, of course I do. Whatever the Principal spouts is bullshit. Still, I was born into this ideology and it’s my instinctive response for any situation. Realistically, it’d be a while before I unlearn it. And sure, I can understand that grades aren’t the deciding factor in success and it won’t literally kill me to always lose, but I’m still going to want to come out on top.”

“Fair,” Kayano shrugs. “Better than nothing.”

Asano gives her a dirty look. “I’m not in the mood. I’m sure Anaya, Saito or Yuu would gladly debate your politics if you ask.”

“Oh, no, you’re right,” Kayano sags. “I came to apologize. And I’m sorry.”

Another pause.

“Well?” Kayano crosses her arms. “Are you going to say anything?”

“Nope,” Asano says. 

“You’re an asshole.”

“This is the worst apology I’ve ever received.”

“I’m starting to think you don’t deserve one in the first place.”

“Cold, Yukimura. Cold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the plot grows ever so convoluted, and this fic grows ever longer. When will it end, and how? WIsh I knew.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW you guys, it has been, what, 12 days? (And it sure has been 12 days.) I took a much longer than usual break in between the chapters again, sorry about that. I've been having Feelings. 
> 
> If you guys have been following me for long enough now, you'd know about the demon Gakushuu fic I had a while back. I left it incomplete because I was dissatisfied with it and I honestly thought I'd leave it for, well, forever. Funnily enough I recently reconciled my thoughts about it and finished it off with a last installment. It's done for, and I feel fulfilled, but damn if it didn't take a lot out of me emotionally.
> 
> I'm working from home now, which is great, because that's college tuition and BLM money (I'm on the other side of the world from that, thankfully. Reading about it already stresses me out.) My grandmother got hospitalized again but luckily it's because she's old, and not because of covid. We're not allowed to visit because like, hospitals, but she's doing alright. I'm trying to exercise, which is great, but failing, which is not so great, but one sit-up a day is better than no sit-ups a day, you know?
> 
> Haha I'm rambling. You're not here to hear about my life. Let's go on with this fic! I've had tons of fun writing this chapter (even though it took me a while haha). I'm throwing in some save/kill debates which I thought of with my own brain, okay, appreciate them.

“You  _ egged the Principal’s car. _ ”

Kayano looks up from her book, batting her lashes innocently. (she’s hanging with Takebayashi in Main today, after class in 3-E. There’s supposed to be another meeting, but co-curricular activities go on for a little bit more.) ‘Oh? Was that me?”

“You did!” Watanabe screams, delighted. “Oh my god!”

Anaya sticks her head into the classroom. She surveys Kayano with a judgmental look, narrows her eyes, then says, “you’re whatever.”

Kayano’s almost tempted to say she doesn’t live off her approval. She doesn’t, and instead says, “it was the least I could do.”

“Hmm,” Anaya says. She disappears again.

“-but she’s so your type!” Tanaka is saying, as he walks into the classroom, Sakakibara on his heel and looking extremely disgruntled.

“I am not having this conversation!” Sakakibara throws his hands in the air. “She’s an AI! I don’t care how cute she is!”

“You’re going to hurt her feelings!” Tanaka pouts, and he holds his phone out. 

Ritsu is on screen. She’s pouting. “You hurt my feelings!” 

“Oh my god,” Sakakibara says.

Behind them, a completely different discussion - still surrounding the topic of Ritsu - is happening. “-Sure, her emotion may run on lines of code, but our human feelings are also determined by molecular biology. Broken down into their base components, neither of anything should develop sentient thought. Whatever basic unit that makes up our brains are the exact ingredients that make up your lunch. Who’s to say what’s within the realm of possibility?”

“That’s also the issue, though, because humans engineered Ritsu. She can never be fully sentient because in the very end, her thoughts and emotions will never be independent of us. She can never develop capabilities outside of what we engineer because her capabilities are limited to what we can subjectively perceive. A truly sentient species like, say, a dog, will have functions that can evolve without our influence. She can only go as far as we go, because as much as she’s capable of autonomy, that autonomy is restricted by-”

“What the fuck,” Kayano says, “is going on?”

“They do this all the time,” Takebayashi says boredly, paying nobody any mind as he flips a page. “This is what happens when you throw existential questions at the face of a group of few of Japan’s smartest fourteen-year-olds.

“Huh,” Kayano says. 

“-we are  _ not _ bananas-”

“-WALL-E is a _kid’s_ _movie_ , not a documentary or a prediction of the future-”

“-3-E had a whole supercomputer the entire time and they just didn’t bother asking her about anything-”

“-Cheese is NOT A BEVERAGE-”

At the doorway, clutching a bunch of papers, Asano looks over the scene wearily and sighs. 

\--

“You guys  _ went to outer space _ ?!”

“Not all of us,” Takebayashi says. “Just Karma and Nagisa actually.”

“To retrieve information from a space station that couldn’t have been gotten from, I don’t know, hacking a satellite or a laboratory with the supercomputer you have, instead of sending two  _ children without any training _ to  _ fucking outer space _ ?” Asano rubs his temples. “How are none of you dead. How are  _ those two _ not dead. How are  _ none of you dead _ .”

Sato lifts his head, from where he had it planted against the desk. “This whole year,” he says, “has been running on video game logic.”

“They remember me when it’s convenient,” Ritsu chirps happily from Kayano’s phone.

“I’m throwing in the towel,” Asano says, his hands in the air. “I can’t do this. Carry on without me. I’m skipping town. I’m going home.”

Sakakibara, who’s spent the past week weaseling his way into Asano’s physical space to smother him with affection he desperately needs, weasels his way onto Asano’s lap and pins him to the chair. 

“Besides, we can’t hack Yanagisawa’s lab,” Kayano says, “even though he probably has all the information we need, because he’s the head scientist and still currently working on a way to kill Koro-sensei once and for all, now spurred by revenge to work doubly harder.”

“Why not?!”

Kayano shrugs. “It’s unethical.”

“Ren, let me go. I’m going to jump off the school roof. Don’t give me that look - that was a joke.”

“I mean, nobody suggested it,” Takebayashi said.

“Why didn’t  _ either of you suggest it _ ?”

“Seemed too easy,” Kayano says. “Hacking into a space station seemed more fun.”

Chika drags a hand over her face. “They  _ could have died. _ ”

“I don’t like this. Honestly, they should have died.” Seo says. “Not to, like, curse their deaths or anything. But seriously. No negative repercussions? They didn’t like, I don’t know, throw up or gotten migraines from the sudden introduction of 0 gravity in space or the immense G-Force they must have faced when they left and entered the atmosphere?”

“Dunno,” Kayano says. “Don’t think so. They would have said if they felt sick afterwards.”

“Actually, now that you’ve brought it up,” Takebayashi muses, “Koro-sensei took us flying sometimes when he needed to bring all of us somewhere. One time he put us all in a giant bag. He flew at Mach 20 then. I felt really nauseous afterwards.”

“Mach 20- what the fu- you should be glad that all you got out of that was nausea.”

“A giant bag?”

“A handbag,” Kayano clarifies. “Comedic effect.”

“I hate your class so goddamn much.”

\--

“Sorry we’re late,” Tsubara says, coming round in with Anaya. The both of them are carrying bags of drinks. “The line took  _ forever _ . I mean, we also ordered enough for like, thirty people, so.”

“Why did you get thirty? There’s like twelve of us.”

“What’s happening?” Anaya says.

“3-E went to space.”

“What the fuck. Don’t tell me. No, tell me.”

“Now we can finally begin,” Asano says, once the dramatic retelling by Kayano (truly displaying her actress roots) of 3-E’s marvelous space adventure is over. He glares at Tsubara, who’s now helping Sakakibara cut off the circulation to his arms. At his looks, the two of them smile faux-innocently and lay their heads on his shoulders.

Click, goes Araki’s camera.

“Right,” Asano says, rolling his eyes. “Ritsu, would you mind sharing about the information you’ve gathered from the space station?” (“Which,” he mutters under his breath, “I swear to god better be  _ worth it _ , goddamn  _ space travel _ -”)

“No problem!” Ritsu says. “After running the calculations, I’ve found that there actually  _ is _ a possibility of finding a cure for Koro-sensei! There’s a chemical that can be engineered that can induce rapid decay of his antimatter cells. It will not be enough to turn him back into a human - I’m afraid we’ve far surpassed that. If correctly manufactured, the rate of decay may be able to counter the rate of antimatter growth, so he’ll never reach the threshold and be at danger of blowing up!”

“Seriously?” Koyama says. “I don’t want to be a downer, but doesn’t that just sound too good to be true?”

“It does,” Watanbe frowns. “What’s the catch?”

“Well…” Ritsu coughs. “It’s not a foolproof cure, of course. There’s actually a 1% chance of failure.”

3-E had cheered with amazement and hope at a 99% success rate. Contrary to that, Kayano and Takebayashi watch in surprise as Main Campus reacts with dismay. 

“All  _ that _ ,” Anaya says, slamming her hands on the table, “for  _ one percent _ of failure?!”

“One percent is terrible odds,” Chika says. “One percent of Japan is a million people.”

“That’s huge. Even 0.1% is a big deal in most statistical calculations.”

“So we can’t do it,” Watanabe says. “That’s too much on the plate. We can’t rely this cure when there’s such a huge opportunity for failure.”

“What else is there?” Koyama says. “They have to kill him by March. That’s a month away. There’s no time.”

“You know,” Kayano says. “A 99% success rate is incredible.”

“That’s like having 9 out of 10 dentists recommend toothpaste,” Anaya says, crossing her arms. “It’s bullshit.”

“Wouldn’t you want to take that chance?” 

“I mean, no! I don’t know Koro-sensei at all, and this is like, the fate of the whole world!”

“Okay, okay,” Kayano says standing up. She holds her hands out until conversation ceases and everybody turns to stare at her. “I get it. One percent is a huge deal. But I do want to ask everyone this. Even if there was a hundred percent chance of saving Koro-sensei… would you choose to?”

“Yes,” Watanabe says immediately. “The world won’t blow up then!”

“What if the other option was to kill him?” Kayano says. “Say if we kill him, or we save him. The world doesn’t blow up either way. Which would you pick?”

“This is the civil war debate again,” Anaya crosses her arms. “Does it matter?”

“It’s just a question,” Kayano says, shrugging. “I wanted to know what everyone thinks. You all know mine and Takebayashi’s stances.”

There’s a silence.

“Well…” Sakakibara is the first to speak up. “Save, I guess. I’m not, well… really into the whole killing someone thing.”

“But isn’t the octopus a serial killer?” Chika says. “We already know that he’s like, an assassin with thousands of kills. Do we want to save someone like that?”

“Even if it’s not, that’s not really our call to make, is it?” Tanaka says. “We save him, and then we pass him over to the criminal justice system. Like, he confessed, didn’t he? Air-force Sensei was there.”

“Yeah,” Anaya says, “because the justice system is great with matters like this. They handled Takaoka with such efficiency, didn’t they? And recruited multiple assassins to work along side a class of middle school kids and opened them up to danger.”

“Fair point,” Koyama says, “but it’s not something we can decide. I would say that personally, I’m all for killing Koro-sensei. It’s a suitable sentence for his crimes. However, it’s not our job to play judge, jury and executioner.”

“Why shouldn’t it be?” Tsubara says. “I’m assuming we’re speaking in perspective for 3-E here- “ he looks at Kayano for confirmation, who exchanges an amused look with Takebayashi and then nods. “Alright. So we’re 3-E. We’re the ones that truly know who Koro-sensei is, and we can pass the best judgement on whether or not he deserves to live. We’ll see what the courts and the public eye can never see. I’m not saying that decision is going to be easy. It’s not, and it’s a huge burden - we’re debating on whether or not to save a life, and Koro-sensei should have been influential enough such that even someone hell bent on revenge from the start-” he motions to Kayano “-has changed her opinion.”

“That is true,” Rukiyo says. “But I mean, we would - as 3-E - know Koro-sensei as he is now, better than anyone else. But it’s not just about what  _ we _ feel, right? Famous prolific killers in the past had friends and family that loved them. It’s not about whether his friends and family want him to die, it’s about justice for the victims.”

“3-E has lost the objective edge that would help them make an unbiased decision,” Yuu says. “But this is someone’s life we’re talking about. We’re not dealing with numbers here - ignoring the whole statistical one percent and just focusing on the morality of the issue. If we consider all cases like this objectively, there’s going to be so many cases that slip past us. Sometimes pure objectivity isn’t the best case scenario.” 

“I get that, but we’re not talking about manslaughter or self-defense here, are we?” Anaya says. “We’re talking about someone who killed a thousand people.” She turns to Kayano and Takebayashi. “I remember you two talking about Koro-sensei having a hard childhood. He was pushed from unfavorable circumstances towards a career path consisting of murder. You guys have to know that there’s a certain point it becomes irredeemable. Sure, his past may be able to explain his actions, but it’s gone far too far to be able to justify them.”

“The thing is, though,” Araki says, “the idea of justice to the victims and all is great. The problem is, they’re not going to be able to know. In normal circumstances, the verdict gives the victims’ families closure and lets people move on with their lives, knowing that justice has been served in due. In this case, there’s no way to contact them or let anyone know - over a thousand people, killed by an unknown assassin the public believes never at all existed. Your teacher probably doesn’t even know who his victims are. There’s no justice to be served for anyone, and all it will do is take him away from people who already care about him. Does he deserve it? Sure, maybe he does. But if a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? There’s nothing truly to be gained from his death, other than the knowledge that you took someone’s life.”

“You say that,” Yuna says, “but the thing is, it’s still going to make a sound. No one will be there to say that it does, but it’s not going to be silent. That’s how integrity works, right? You have to do the right thing even if no one sees it. That’s the fundamental principle of which society is built on, that we do what is right even if we do not see the immediate consequences. Perhaps nobody who deserves to know will know, but it’s what’s right. We don’t acquit a murderer of, say, a homeless man if he doesn’t have family, because he’s still a murderer. And I don’t know about you guys, maybe 3-E is desentized to it all, but I’m personally not comfortable knowing that a man who took a thousand lives is left to wander the streets without any repercussions - and honestly, worst still if he’s practically indestructible.”

Sakakibara says. “Don’t get me wrong, we should still hold people accountable for what they’ve done. But does that still stay the same when there’s no value in that accountability - or even for cases where that accountability will cause more people to suffer?” He waves a hand. “I watched a movie once, where one kingdom caused the genocide of another. It was a fantasy movie - there’s magic and whatnot, and at the end that magic from the second kingdom, the one that was destroyed, almost caused the destruction of the first. But the heroine stopped it in time and saved the first kingdom from ruin. And I’m not going to lie, at first I had been pissed about it, because I thought along the lines of how there was justice that needed to be served. But the thing is, there’s no value in the destruction of the first kingdom. It won’t bring anyone from the second kingdom back, but what it will do is bring pain and suffering to the lives of everyone in the first, even people who weren’t involved in the geocide. The same with Koro-sensei. You do uphold your principles, and you do get a sense of justice, but in the end everyone suffers. There’s no point. Sometimes what’s important is preserving the now instead of being fixated over the past.”

"Fair point,” Tsubara says, “but it’s one that can be made only when we sufficiently address the mistakes of the past and ensure there are no repercussions in the present. Otherwise we would sweep history under the rug. Koro-sensei is not something that happened in the distant past. Considering that his apprentice is a young adult, and that he had been an active serial killer for up to, well, last year before he became a giant yellow octopus, many wounds are still fresh. It’s not fair to anyone to dismiss it. Some of these cases might not even have closed - it’s just a year. There are missing persons cases that last up till decades. There might still be people looking for their friends and family, news reports of distraught wondering where their daughters or sons or brothers or sisters have gone. Maybe a kill from 10 years ago might be impossible to remember, but something fresh and recent might still be in his memory. These people need a confirmation so they can get closure, stop looking, learn to heal. We can’t do it for all thousand, but however many people it helps is already better than none - and who are we to say anything if they themselves want justice for the victim? We - no, not we, but Koro-sensei, if he truly cares and has changed, owes it to them to try.”

\--

“I don’t think we’re going to reach a definite conclusion today,” Asano says - the first thing he’s said, after an hour. 

“That’s fine,” Kayano says. “I just wanted to know what everyone thought."

"To be fair," Takebayashi says, "our class never reached a morally agreeable consensus. We just fought it out."

Kayano snickers. "3-E has already made a decision, anyways.”

“You couldn’t have told us earlier?!” Watanabe stretches, groaning. “Morality debates are exhausting.” 

“It was a nice listen,” Takebayashi says, and Watanabe elbows him. 

“You should have bought forty,” Yuna says to Tsubara, on her third drink. “I’m getting so fat. Debating about existential issues is really thirsty work.”

“Don’t keep us in suspense!” Sakakibara says. “What decision did you guys make?”

“Well,” Kayano says, “you all know Save won the civil war and we found a cure whiCH- don’t look at me like that, I know the one percent is dangerous, but here’s the thing, we decided to go forth and try our best to kill Koro-sensei anyways.”

“Not because of the potential cure risks, actually,” Takebayashi says. “But because Karasuma-sensei has informed us that the government was never going to let Koro-sensei live anyways. They’ve developed a foolproof weapon against him which they’ve prepared for if we don’t make it and kill him ourselves by the deadline.”

“Oh,” Asano says. “Huh.”

“So we won’t be dealing with the one percent at all,” Kayano says. 

“Thank god,” Araki says. “I was going to break confidentiality and go teach 3-E math.” 

Takebayashi rolls his eyes. “You realize we’re better at math than Main now, right?”

“But you all still make some dumbass decisions.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m beat,” Rukiyo says. “I’m going to go home and take the world’s longest nap. Don’t ask me about Yanagisawa’s social media or whatever today. I can’t think anymore.”

“Oh yeah,” Kayano muses, “that was supposed to also be on our agenda.”

Asano looks over the group, his cheek resting on his hand. “Looks like we can’t cover it today.”

“It’s okay,” Kayano shrugs. “The memes are popular. 3-E finds them funny. There’s a steady influx of them coming into our chat now. I think some of my classmates are making some. Karasuma-sensei yelled at us for breaching confidentiality but I saw him laughing at some of them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for today. I actually made some memes HAHA but... I'm too lazy to navigate this interface to post them this time. I'll do it next chapter... or next next chapter... you'll see them eventually. They're bad memes, but I liked them. Hehehe.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted in forever, you guys. I'm so sorry. HAHA
> 
> this chapter took a long time to come together. I had 0 clue how it was going to all fit and I'm still honestly not the most sure of whether I like it, but if I don't post it I never will, so... here it is. Tada!
> 
> (By the way, there are pictures through the chapter. I hope they load. Yes, the pictures are important and contribute to your understanding of this fic, so lmk if you can't see them.)

"Hi guys, welcome to my youtube channel-"

"It's me, your girl-"

"Welcome back to my channel-"

"And thank you for joining us today on our podcast-"

"He-llo everybody!-"

"-just under a year ago, the world was shocked with-"

"-a giant yellow octopus!-"

"-blew up half the fucking moon-"

"-threatened to blow up the _rest of the world_ -"

"-within one year should his terms not be met-"

"-and as of today-"

"-as of yesterday-"

"-I hope this video isn't going to come out late-"

"-we have officially reached the one month countdown-"

"-lack of _any_ response from the UN-"

"-whose responsibility?-"

"-we have yet to receive an official statement from-"

"-widespread panic-"

"-people everywhere are starting their doomsday preparations-"

"-although conspiracy theorists are stepping forth-"

"-internet users are speculating-"

"-so I've been seeing a lot of memes recently about-"

"-is the octopus really going to go through with its threat?-"

"-over the past year there has been discussion on the octopus-"

"-its clearly a sentient, logical being-"

"-why did it choose to destroy this planet? why did it blow up the moon in the first place?-"

"-any underlying reasons-"

"-honestly, I don't blame it, humanity kinda sucks-"

"-this is some hitchhiker's guide bullshit-"

"-of course, conspiracy theorists everywhere-"

"-i mean, come on guys-"

"-actually I saw this meme once which got me thinking-"

"-you know, they're not exactly _wrong_ -"

"-lmao they might be on to something, the first known sighting of the creature was in Japan-"

"-what if it was cosplay all along and we've just been duped-"

"-the octopus, capable of travelling 20 times the speed of sound-"

"-has been spotted all over the world-"

"-but one country in particular-"

"-I've complied just some of the most popular pictures circulating around the internet-"

"-maybe it's coincidence-"

"-we've gotten some data analysts to look at all known sightings of the creature-"

"-and like, out of 56 of these pictures, 30 of them are from Japan-"

"-a high percentage of these sightings were from Japan, Tokyo specifically-"

"-why Tokyo Japan is such a location of interest-"

"-of course, this could be mere coincidence-"

"-Tokyo Japan is a densely populated city area that has people from many walks of life, perhaps the alien found it suitable to-"

"-perhaps it watched too many hollywood movies and decided to avoid America for a bit-"

"-actually-"

"-there was this picture posted on 4chan that caught my attention-"

"-I did a bit of digging-"

"-whoever posted this image _clearly_ has something to say-"

"-but there was this image that's been circulating around, I'm sure you all have seen it-"

"-there was a deadly lab explosion in Tokyo Japan that killed _dozens_ -"

"-it received practically no media coverage at all, I wonder if someone has something to hide-"

"-Yanagisawa labs - sorry if I'm not pronouncing that right - is a biological research lab-"

"-the date of the accident is just two days prior to the first official sighting of the octopus supercreature-"

"-of course, most of the information on the lab is classified-"

"-from what I am able to gather from their, ah, website, they are a pharmaceutical research company-"

"-they are, however, approved for live animal testing-"

"-a coincidence-"

"-or not?-"

"Hi guys, welcome back again to my youtube channel! As you can see from the title of this video it's going to be slightly different from my regular content. So you guys know I'm not really a conspiracy theory blog, and I've been mostly silent on the various speculations that circulate around the octopus supercreature which you have no doubt already heard of, so I won't go into detail about that. What I do want to talk about today is an incident, the Yanagisawa Lab explosion if you've heard of it, that has been brought to light because people have been speculating that it is closely related to and have somehow _caused_ the octopus supercreature. Now this is a very big claim to make and there is no official confirmation yet, this is just an internet theory, so I won't actually be talking about that. What I will instead be talking about is-"

"-it's not uncommon for pharmaceutical labs to be approved for live animal testing. A lot of research involves live animal testing - yes, it's not ethical, you've probably seen the tons and tons of movements for cruelty free lifestyle products because a lot of the everyday things we use like soap or shampoo or makeup are often tested on animals instead of on humans. Medicinal research runs a far higher risk during testing than like makeup or your vaseline so it's still more common and not really suspicious for labs like Yana labs to test on animals-"

"-but why would pharmaceutical research result in such a large explosion that ended dozens of lives? Was it really just an unlucky accident with say malfunctioning lab equipment or something that went wrong with a large batch of chemical? Guys, you know I'm not a scientist or whatever but I really doubt that chemical explosions can be that drastic - remember, they're a research lab, not a manufacturing lab, so it's unlikely they'll be handling immense quantities of any chemical at one time. And what's more suspicious is of course the lack of media coverage surrounding the incident-"

"-now this is the sort of thing that makes you wonder if it was some kind of cover up-"

"-talk about the internet theories that have taken the world by storm-"

"-guys, you will not _believe-"_

"-there has been a leaked report stating that Yanagisawa Labs have been involved in human experimentation-"

"-as of yet there has been no official confirmation that these reports are true-"

"-we shouldn't take things out of context. Remember that they're a pharmaceutical research laboratory and after a certain point human trials for the medication would begin-"

"-I want to reiterate that before any major speculations start, it is not illegal or unethical - and it is in fact expected to have human participants for clinical trials when developing new medication-"

**Ask Me Anything**

**r/AMA**

I used to work at Yanagisawa Labs. I resigned a few months before the explosion incident. AMA

"-guys what? Was that AMA real?-"

"-OP wanted to stay anonymous-"

"-@FBI-" 

"-two days ago an anonymous reddit user claiming to have once worked for Yanagisawa Labs-"

"-released some information-"

"-confirming that human experimentation did happen within the Lab vicinity-"

"-FAKE-"

"-if it was real OP would have the Lab after him-"

"-not within the ethical boundaries of clinical trials-"

"-mediocre working conditions-"

"-he claimed that he and several other coworkers had walked out because of ethical concerns-"

"-had someone strapped down to a table and sent electricity through him? What kind of medicine-"

"-medieval torture, more likely-"

"-did that guy survive?-"

"-F-"

"-his superior abused his fiance, who also worked at the lab-"

"-is this real?-"

"-wtf we are living in a dystopia-"

"-the explosion was DEF a cover up-"

"-more documents surrounding the lab explosion have been leaked-"

"-detailing just some of the trials that the humans participants were subjected to-"

"-guys, this is just gross-"

"-I don't even want to read it, I'll attach the link down there for those who are interested-"

"-heed the trigger warnings-"

"-no official confirmation as of yet as to whether these reports are real-"

"-no statement from Yanagisawa Labs-"

"-as a fellow scientist working with human volunteers, I do not condone-"

"-if these are real, they are serious allegations-"

\--

"I mean," Maehara mumbles, "they are kind of funny."

"Funny? _Funny_?" Karasuma-sensei slams a hand onto the teacher's desk, and then rubs his temples. Next to him, Koro-sensei and Bitch-sensei are giggling to themselves as they look over Yada's shoulder, as she happily scrolls through her twitter feed for them. Karasuma-sensei glowers at them, to no avail.

"This is an international security breach!"

"Well, it _is_ the one month countdown to when Koro-sensei is supposed to blow up the Earth," Kataoka says. "The internet hype that generated from that expected."

"I think it's nice that there are some people defending Koro-sensei!" Kurahashi chirps. 

"They're right, he hasn't done anything dangerous!" Sugino says. "Okay, yeah, he's a bit of a public nuisance, but other than that."

"Hey!" Koro-sensei says.

Karma is quiet for a moment, and then he says, "it's suspicious how it's been narrowed down to Yanagisawa Labs though, isn't it?" 

"Oh!" Isogai says, "yeah."

"The Japan thing isn't hard to figure out," Nakamura says, "Koro-sensei does have many public appearances in Japan, although I'm surprised someone managed to pick it out, considering Koro-sensei travels all over the world. Maybe it was really just a coincidence. But specifically pointing it down to Yanagisawa labs?"

"Someone has an agenda to push," Karma muses. "Someone on the inside, who knows about the shady things that Shiro has done... an old enemy, maybe?"

"There was a person claiming to be an ex-employee at the lab on reddit the other day," Fuwa says, holding up her phone. "It stirred a lot of buzz, and they had tons to say! Maybe they're the one!"

"I saw that post," Yoshida says.

"Me too," Nakamura says. "That person didn't reveal that Koro-sensei was the human Shiro experimented on, though."

"They're just airing out Shiro's dirty laundry."

"And using the current buzz about Koro-sensei as a starting point, how smart!"

"Whatever their agenda is," Karasuma-sensei says, "this person is in danger of releasing international secrets and we'll be working towards finding them."

"Well, I for one am actually glad about it," Kayano stretches. "I hate Shiro."

"Yeah!" Koro-sensei cheers, and he reaches over to give her a tentacle fist bump. Karasuma-sensei sighs.

\--

"I am a supercomputer after all," Ritsu says, looking appropriately smug. 

"We'd be up in our asses with lawsuits if it weren't for you," Chika coos, and raises a pinky finger to hi-five Ritsu's avatar on Asano's phone screen.

Asano looks uneasy. "You sure nobody can trace us?"

"Positive," Ritsu says. "Besides, I'm the best!"

"Really," Asano says, unconvinced. "Weren't you hacked by that Reaper character?"

"W-well!" Ritsu flips her pixellated hair. "That's _unlikely_ \- no, i'd say, _impossible_ for it to happen again! Really! The government doesn't even know!-"

"Relax," Kayano says, leaning over her seat. and patting him on the shoulder. "We have all our bases covered."

"Besides," Watanabe hums, "a surprising percentage of the content isn't even ours. We posted like a couple of pictures, leaked two reports, and had a fake AMA. The internet community is doing the rest of the work." 

"Whose company was it again that bought out Yanagisawa?" Takebayashi asks.

"Me! Ooh, how fun," Anaya giggles, mostly to herself. "The downfall of a corporation!"

"Isn't it weird that a food and beverage chain is dabbling into medicine? How did you guys explain that?"

"No corporation stays at the top with only one field of expertise. We have shares in real estate, entertainment, and a quarter of the Miyazaki hotels chain."

"Sakakibara also had a hand in the dealings."

"Oh, yeah. I never asked, Sakakibara, but what does your family do?"

"Oh, a couple of things, really. My sister wants to open her own confectionery line, my mother has a shoe luxury brand, and my father has another quarter of the Miyazaki hotels chain."

"Oh, so you're all rich kids here. Got it."

\--

("I trust you've heard the news."

"Of course I've heard the news. It's everywhere."

Karasuma-sensei clears his throat. "Well, we'll have to be upping security around school grounds. Of course, as usual, we'll take upmost precaution in keeping out of the Main Campus students' way..." Karasuma-sensei trails off, looking off to stare out the window overlooking the school courtyard.

Principal Asano follows his gaze with a thoughtful hum. "I've wondered..." he pauses, "has your team made progress with tracing the leaks?"

"One source was traced to an radio signal shelter in the middle of Siberia that has abandoned since World War 2," Karasuma-sensei drawls drearily. "Another line has been followed all the way to an internet cafe in Minot, Dakota."

"How curious," Principal Asano says.

They both look out to the courtyard.

"You know," Principal Asano says, "two of your students have been hanging round here rather frequently, as of late."

"Takebayashi and Kaede," Karasuma-sensei says, faltering a little at Kayano's not-name. "I've noticed. You wouldn't happen to know what they've been doing, do you? Should it be a matter of international security, of course."

"I doubt I'd go that far insinuating that," Principal Asano says first, but then stops. "On second thought... the students have been more, ah, cunning, than I'd have originally given them credit for. "

Karasuma-sensei can't help but smirk a little at that. "Ah. When they not-kidnapped your son."

Principal Asano sighs. "Why are you keeping tabs on my family life and not the safety of the world? The government's priorities are rather skewed, don't you think so?"

The smirk doesn't fade. "I'm afraid that's a more personal endeavor of interest. It seems that Irina isn't as diligent as I am in separating work from her own entertainment, and the Kunugigaoka Staff gossip pool have been rather enlightening."

"And I don't suppose you'd like to chip in your two cents?"

"Well, I don't have children of my own, so I'm certainly no more qualified to offer any advice..." Pause. "You could begin by being nicer to him. And calling him by his first name."

" _Gakushuu_ ," Principal Asano says, "hardly needs coddling."

"He'd certainly been a formidable opponent against my class for the past year. I'd say that for all intents and purposes, you've raised him to do well. Personally I'd rather he smile a little more like he doesn't wish to punch Akabane in the face, but I'm positive Akabane would punch back."

"I don't suppose _doing well_ would mean... well I know my son. He's hardly a computer genius. The only type of hacking he's done is lock my computer with too many failed password attempts... although that could have been on purpose, come to think of it."

"Siberia is very far," Karasuma-sensei agrees. "This is certainly the type of feat that couldn't be achieved without some sort of supercomputer."

"..."

"..."

"I'm fairly certain that Takebayashi has some sort of weird hero worship complex for your son. That would explain his frequent visits."

"I would guess so, yes. Miss Kaede-"

"A recent turn of events has made it such that she's, ah, not quite the most popular amongst her classmates. They're still friends, but I'd wager that they would have felt betrayed by her, ah, actions. Perhaps she has gone to... seek social interaction elsewhere."

"Plausible."

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"Be nicer to your son."

"Tell Koro-sensei to stop flying over the school. How no one has noticed him yet is beyond me."

"..."

"..."

"...would they have noticed?"

"...if they did, we'd surely have heard about it by now."

"..."

"..."

"I'll have the revised security measurements on your desk by tomorrow morning for your input.")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is it for now! Sorry it has been a bit of a wait. I hope to have the coming chapters out quicker but I've been swamped with work recently and I don't have them pre-written at this point in time. The end is coming soon! Bet yall can't wait to see me stop posting this stupid shit, HAHA)


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah. The plot... thickens. Does it? We're nearing the end of the fic. There's no time for more plot.
> 
> Hi again, how is everyone doing? I'm all fine and dandy. Not really. Not sure how many people are actually interested in my life but here are your what-am-i-doing updates anyways. Been working a lot, sighs - why is work from home somehow worse than leaving the house to physically do things? I'm exhausted. My grandma is still in the hospital! She actually got out, and then went back in literally a day later. This is not good for my nerves.
> 
> On the bright side (?) fic is helping me destress a bit. I finally thought of what to write for this chapter literally just now and I had to finish it immediately. HAHA.

“It’s technically not our secret to keep,” Kayano points out.

“Kayano,” Takebayashi stresses.

“I’ve expected Kayano to be in on it,” Karma muses, rubbing his chin. “You, Takebayashi? How unexpected. I’ve always pegged you for a shitty liar.”

Takebayashi scoffs, and pushes his glasses further up his nose. “Cut the crap. You’re singling out Kayano only because of her going undercover. You wouldn’t have suspected anything otherwise. Not from me, despite how shitty of a liar you claim to think I am.”

Karma bristles, flustered. “Yeah, well-”

“We have to give you credit for at least being  _ aware _ that something is up,” Kayano inclines her head. “You’re doing better than the others already, in that aspect.”

Karma crosses his arms. “Fine, yeah, whatever. Tell me what’s going on in Main Campus already.”

“Before that,” Kayano says, leaning forward. “How long have you been suspicious?”

“Well…” Karma thinks. “Pretty early in the year, actually. I think… during the exhibition match baseball game against the club. Kunugigaoka isn’t the sportiest school, and it struck me as odd that such a large number of people went to watch the game. Their… reactions were odd too, I suppose. And let’s face it, I’d be lying if I said Koro-sensei was the most inconspicuously hidden-” Kayano snorts at that “-but I suppose what made me the most suspicious was Asano’s word choice when he asked us for help during finals. If you remember? He asked us to help him with an  _ assassination _ attempt.” Karma leans forward. “That’s a little too coincidental, don’t you think?”

Kayano grins. “So what do you think they know?”

Karma falters at that. “Well… I’m not sure. I’m certain Asano knows something, because the assassination reference is simply too obvious. He could have used kill or defeat or any other more suitable word - although he might be just a pretentious speaker, come to think of it… no, he definitely knows.” 

He hums thoughtfully. “Whether Asano would have discussed this with the rest of that little gang of his - the Virtuosos or whatever - is the point of contention. He would probably find it incredibly useful to have them do his bidding and spy on us on his behalf instead… but the other four - and I’m not complimenting him here, don’t get me wrong - aren’t  _ competent _ , you feel me? And Asano is. Surely he wouldn’t trust someone like  _ Koyama _ or  _ Seo _ with this sort of thing.”

Kayano and Takebayashi exchange amused looks.

Karma frowns at the both of them. “What?”

\--

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“Oooh, president said a bad word,” Toro says, barely looking up from his phone.

Karma glares, arms crossed, standing in the 3-A classroom where the students are milling about. Him being down at Main is apparently an event for the masses because they’re all watching him eagerly.

“There’s surely a better place to have this conversation,” Karma says, feeling as disconcerted as Asano looks.

“Have what conversation?” Kayano says cheerily, a hand curled tightly around Karma’s arm to prevent escape. 

“Kayano…” Karma hisses.

Asano sighs, the very picture of boredom. “Have  _ what _ conversation, Akabane?” He drawls. “Whatever  _ secrets _ are you hiding that can’t be discussed out in the open?”

Karma scowls harder. “Listen, Asano, I really need to speak to you in private. I’d go as far to say that it’s a matter of national emergency. Now-”

“National emergency?” Asano muses. “How shocking! Surely all the more should we need to include others in our conversation, since it is in everyone’s interest!”

“Okay, now you’re just being difficult-”

The door bursts open. “Gakushuu!” It’s Sakakibara. “YOUR DAD WANTS US IN HIS OFFICE TO TALK ABOUT KOROSENSEI- OOOoohhhh heyyyy Akabane-”

“WHAT?!” Karma shrieks.

Asano sighs. “How many people does the principal require in his attendance?”

“The virtuosos, Kaede and Takebayashi,” Sakakibara says.

“What? Is going on?!”

“Shut up, Akabane. Can you text the others to meet us there?”

“Asano, don’t ignore me!”

“Watanabe, Sato, give Akabane a crash course.”

“On everything?”

“Yes. At Ritsu’s discretion.”

“YOU GUYS KNOW RITSU-”

“Bye Akabane,” Asano says, and he sweeps out of the classroom. 

Karma turns to Kayano and Takebayashi with aghast faces. “Guys?!”

“Sorry Karma, you heard Sakakibara,” Kayano says, patting his shoulder. “We’re being summoned to the Principal’s office. See you on the other side!”

“Wait-”

\--

“So what you’re saying is,” Asano says, “you think I’m hiding something from you.”

Behind him, the virtuosos, Takebayashi and Kayano are standing in a straight row, hands behind their back. Asano is in front of them, pose relaxed, head cocked to the side. They can’t see his expressions from where they’re standing behind him, but the Virtuosos would bet that Asano has that stupid smirk on his face.

(He does.) 

Principal Asano mirrors his son at his desk. Standing next to him (painting a rather odd picture) is Karasuma-sensei.

“I don’t  _ think _ you’re hiding something from me,” Principal Asano says slowly. “I know you are.”

“That suspicion is mutual, then,” Asano says. “I know you’ve been keeping something from me since the beginning of the year, as well.”

“And what, Asano,” the Principal says, “do you think that is? Because you clearly seem to think you’ve figured it out, haven’t you? Wouldn’t you mind enlightening me on what your little…  _ investigations _ have uncovered?”

Quick. Evasive maneuvers. “You seem to be implying that the secret you harbor and the one you think I’m keeping surround the same subject matter. Maybe you could begin by telling me your secret and I would let you know if I’m on the same thread.”

The Principal looks so offended at the stupidity of that statement, like he can’t believe his own flesh and blood would attempt to negotiate like this. He stares deadpan at Asano, not bothering to grace him with a reply.

Eh. It was worth a shot. “Fine,” Asano says. “Although I don’t see the purpose of an entourage for such a small matter.”

Asano knows that the Virtuosos (and Kayano, and Takebayashi) are only there to give the secret away. He alone wouldn’t crack under his father’s pressure, but if the Principal stared at Seo or Koyama or Araki or Sakakibara or Takebayashi hard enough, they would. In fact, he can feel them fidgeting nervously behind him now. 

He’s not too worried about Kayano, thank god. She’s a professional actress.

“Oh?” The Principal says, smiling ominously. “Well of course they had to be invited! They’re as involved in this situation as you are.”

Asano’s eyebrow twitches. “Oh? Do mind sharing what you think is going on.”

The Principal sighs. “Very well. You seem to think I’ve not been privy to the regular… meetings that you’ve been holding with the two 3-E students here. Do be reminded that there’s no reason for you to fraternize…” He seems to recall that he’s in the presence of Karasuma-sensei at the last moment, and clears his throat. “I’m disappointed, Asano. I really am. I thought I taught you better than this. Surely you could have done with a bit more subtlety.”

Asano’s eyes widen. “I suppose nothing escapes your notice after all.”

The Principal looks pleased at himself. “Of course not.”

Asano frowns, and turns away. “Alright. I admit that I have been… keeping a secret. But that is not something I’d rather discuss today.”

Karasuma-sensei speaks up for the first time he’s been standing here. “Asano, I understand that the matter at hand may be unsettling, but we have to hear it from you. We will settle the details later and reassure you and your friends of any doubts.”

“That’s right,” Principal Asano says smugly. “Don’t waste any more of our time, now.” He takes a satisfied sip of his tea.

Asano’s composure wavers a little. He turns around to stare at his schoolmates, who are all giving him wide-eyed and panicked looks. Kayano is mouthing “run” like it would do any good.

But it’s too late. They cannot escape a direct confrontation.

Asano steels his shoulders and straightens up. “Alright. I’ll tell you my secret. It sounds extremely ridiculous even to me, and I am unable to fully comprehend the situation at hand but-”

\--

"-you're right! I have a crush on Karma Akabane!" 

Principal Asano promptly spits out his tea. 

Karasuma-sensei looks like his brain has screeched to a halt. "What?!" 

"God! That's embarrassing to admit!" Asano gasps, uncharacteristically expressive, and he covers his mouth with his hands. "It sounds ridiculous when I say it, doesn't it! Unbelievable! I don't even know myself!" 

Principal Asano stands up so fast his chair almost tips over. "What in the world are you going on about?!" 

"I didn't even know I liked boys before I started liking him!" Asano exclaims. When he turns his head to the side in an act of bashfulness, Kayano is impressed to see that he's willed a blush on his face. Or maybe that's a genuine blush for the embarrassing ordeal he's embarking on?

Karasuma-sensei looks flustered. "That's not-"

"My friends are helping me come to terms with my feelings!" Asano says. "Kaede and Takebayashi are helping me with…" His voice drops low and shy. "...confessing…" 

"Asano!" The Principal says. "Honestly! This is supposed to be an important discussion, we have no time for whatever this scheme is-" 

"Oh, so you don't think my feelings are important?" Asano says. "You're so dismissive of me all the time! Kaede is right, you hate me and you you'll disown me for liking boys!" 

Kayano snaps into action immediately. "I knew it!" She cries, pointing an accusing finger. "You're a monster!" 

"Asano!" Karasuma-sensei scolds, pissed and disappointed as he turns towards the Principal. 

"You," the Principal snarls at his son, "are a conniving cruel child and a terrible terrible liar. You do not like Karma Akabane, I will not disown you for being gay, and this is by far one of your worst topic diversions to date. Now-" 

"I'm bisexual," Asano says quickly. 

The Principal pauses, and stares at Asano with narrowed eyes for a beat. Then falters a little. "Oh. We'll talk about that." 

Asano scuffs his shoe against the linoleum. "Okay." 

There's a pause.

Karasuma-sensei clears his throat. 

The principal sits back down. "Asano. The matter at hand?" 

Asano is suddenly back to his blank impasisve state. "That was the matter."

"It was  _ not _ ." 

"It was." 

"I am not playing an is-is not game with you. You know the severity of this-" 

"I do not," Asano says. "Because I don't know what it is." 

Karasuma-sensei frowns. He turns to address Takebayashi and Kayano. "The both of you here hold a responsibility, and you've signed an NDA-" 

"I didn't break my NDA,* Kayano says smoothly. She didn't, because the NDA forbade her from speaking about the assassination project to the unaware public, but gave her full reign to discuss the matters with people who already do know. Of course that blanket statement had only meant to refer to the other 3-E students and professionals that were brought on board, but anyone who knew of the situation outside of these categories was a loophole. 

"Neither have I," Takebayashi says. 

Karasuma-sensei crosses his arms. "I will need to speak with both of you privately." 

"Asano," The principal says. "Your unruly behaviour today and your non-compliance is unacceptable. Let's not beat around the bush here. You know the secret of class 3-E."

Ah. Asano lets a slow grin spread on his face. "Assuming I know this secret you speak of… to confirm that I do know this secret, both of us would have to show our hands and reveal our information. But the moment you do, well, assuming if I'm genuinely clueless, then I no longer will be. And assuming I'm not clueless and I'm just being dishonest, that means I know the secret already anyways. Either ways…" he cocks his head, "I find out, don't I? So why don't we simply cut this waiting game short and you just tell me?" 

The principal scowls. "I suppose you think you're very clever." 

"Well, a stalemate is better than a loss." Principal Asano leans back on his chair and inclines his head in Karasuma-sensei's direction, who looks thoughtful. "This is not purely my decision to make," he says finally. "I'll have to revert back to you." 

Asano smiles. "I would have said the same thing." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karma's and Gakuhou's bullshit detectors are on high alert.
> 
> This chapter is OOC (I won't even bother pointing out the OOC part) but??? I like it. I'm keeping it in now. It's canon. It happened.
> 
> Also in case anyone is wondering, nope this is still not a ship fic for Gakushuu! Any ships I may or may not bring him up in is for purely comedic purposes.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you, probably: I miss when Gwen updated daily

“So it’s time for all of us to come clean?”

“That would entirely depend,” Asano says, “on the consequences of knowing the secret. I’d imagine that signing an NDA would be one of them, but if there are other repercussions…” Asano frowns. “Well, until I know it’s not going to be a catastrophic event in revealing that pretty much all of Kunugigaoka knows, i’ll selectively pick a supporting cast for now.”

“Does that mean we can’t show the Board?” Chika says. “Given that it involves, well, everyone.”

“That’s right,” Asano says. “As for who will meet Karasuma-sensei with me…” 

“Watanabe. You’re a key player in how you first recognized Kayano as Haruna Mase, which kickstarted our awareness of the situation.”

“Sir yes sir!”

“Sato. You too, because Watanabe drags you everywhere.”

“I can’t believe I’m involved by proxy,” Sato says.

“Saito - you, obviously. And Chika, because you mentioned her by name… and that she made the Board. We can just say that the Board is just a shared google doc for now. “

“Do you think Miss Jelavic would rat us out?”

“Well, she knows that everyone knows. Either way, she either goes along with it or we’re immediately exposed."

“Kotya, from 2-E. His uncle from Yanagisawa Labs shed a little bit more insight onto us. Sakakibara text him, and Mako too, because he recognized Takaoka. It may not have contributed directly to the information on Koro-sensei but it did reinforce our belief that the 3-E’s situation was military enforced.”

“Tsubara, you too. You were directly involved when my dad beat those kids up.”

“How is that related to Koro-sensei?”

“It’s not. I just think he could use the reminder.”

“Fair enough.”

“Anaya, you as well. It’s hard to deny your involvement in our meddling with Yanagisawa Labs… Well, I think that’s all the loose ends tied up,” Asano says. “We should be able to cover all our bases in this group. We’ll divulge more key players if it’s safe to do so.”

\--

“Asano!”

“Ah, Akabane. How are you doing?”

“Y-you, the Board, Koro-sensei, 3-E-!”

“Dammit,” Asano mutters. “Listen, Akabane-”

Rounding a corner of the hallway, Karasuma-sensei emerges with a stack of papers, and he looks up to stare at the two of them.

Asano makes a split second decision. He latches onto Akabane and quickly pulls him closer. Karasuma-sensei does an abrupt 180 and makes a tactical retreat in the direction from which he came.

Akabane squawks and flails. “What the hell?!” He screeches. “Dude!”

“Sorry,” Asano says. “Come on. Let’s talk somewhere else.” 

Asano drags them to the student council room, where the “game team” have already gathered to get their facts and storyline in order before they were due to meet Karasuma-sensei and the Principal.

“Hey Karma,” Kayano greets, as she snacks on a bagel. 

“I’m so confused,” Karma mumbles.

“Alright, great, Asano’s here;” Sakakibara says, “let’s take it from the top!”

“Oh, my queen! My idol, Haruna Mase!” Watanabe dramatically swoons, “I’d recognize you anywhere, my darling! Asano, why is Haruna Mase in Kunugigaoka?”

“Haruna Mase? The actress? Why, that’s our new student Kayano Kaede,” Asano says tonelessly.

Watanabe dramatically drapes herself over the table. “Kayano Kaede! That’s the name of a character Haruna Mase played once! I would know, because I’m Haruna’s number one superfan! I know that her birthday is November 9, that she has natural black hair, and that her real name is Akari Yukimura!”

Then Asano lets out a fake dramatic gasp. “Did you say Akari Yukimura? Isn’t that the name of the old 3-E teacher who died? I attended her funeral! Her fiance, Yanagisawa, was there.”

“Oh boy, Yanagisawa!” Kotya exclaims. “I know him! My uncle used to work for his lab. There was a  _ massive _ explosion that killed dozens the other day, you know! I don’t know why the news didn’t report it!”

“Say, I was just so curious I googled the new 3-E teacher and what do you know! There are results of him! He’s apparently an air-force instructor in the military? How curious!” Anaya says.

“Speaking of the military!” Mako says. “Oh man, my older brother is in the air force! He used to have a terrible instructor named Takaoka - oh what? Is that him? Oh boy, what a coincidence! Why is the military so involved in 3-E?”

“This is so surreal,” Karma says slowly. Takebayashi pats him on the shoulder.

The dramatics continue. 

“As a photographer and an announcer I’m present at all the school events and I take tons of pictures,” Araki says. “My god! These pictures look strange, don’t they? If I didn’t know any better I’d think that there was a giant face in the grass!”

“Wow, is it time for exams already?” Seo says. “Ah, look, it’s 3-E at the library! Surely they wouldn’t mind if we made a little  _ bet _ , wouldn’t they?”

And then the room choruses in unison, “I’d be more careful about betting my life if I were you!”

The kids dissolve into giggles. 

“We lost the bet!” Koyama wails. “How awful! Now 3-E gets to go to Okinawa instead of us!”

“Well, fortunately for me, my father’s taking me on a business trip there!” Saito says. “Strangely our original bookings at the Okinawa resort were cancelled, but luckily we found a room in this resort up on a cliff, that is overlooking the beach! Oh, hey, is that 3-E down there?”

“Wow, Miss Irina Jelavic’s information is shocking! Is it even true?” Sakakibara says. “Oh, what a coincidence! Takebayashi, you’re trying to transfer? Mind if we ask you, a few questions?”

“Oh dear,” Takebayashi sighs. “I have an NDA that forbids me from discussing certain matters with people who don’t know about - oh, you already do know about it? What a surprise! I guess the NDA doesn’t count then!”

“Oh, it’s time for the sports festival!” Tsubara says. “For a class of just normal average middle school students, 3-E really seem to be a strong and sporty bunch, don’t they? How strange! They even managed to beat international school athletes! But maybe it's not _that_ impressive because 3-E weren’t the only ones who managed to  _ beat _ them, huh?”

There’s a pause. For dramatic effect.

“A school festival? 3-E sure does seem to have a lot of resources,” Chika muses. “But that’s alright, because 3-A still won… or not?”

“My baby!” Sakakibara cries, and he wrestles Asano into an awkward hug. “You didn’t deserve the injustice!”

“3-E!” Asano says, placing a hand over his chest. “I implore of you!  _ Assassinate _ my father! ‘s teaching ideals!”

Kayano pumps her fist. “Oh boy Asano, we sure will! Isn’t that right, Karma?”

Karma blinks. “Right,” he says faintly.

“3-A lost!” Tsubara claps a hand loudly. “Bam!”

“Ow,” Asano says.

There’s a second pause. For more dramatic effect.

“What’s this?” Takebayashi says. “Kayano Kaede is secretly Akari Yukimura? Here to take revenge on Koro-sensei for her sister, Aguri’s death? We didn’t see that coming at all!”

“It’s so sad!” Watanabe sobs. “Haruna Mase! You didn’t deserve this! Oh please, please Asano can we tell her? I think she's in need of some support now, and I would love to meet her, my idol! Pl-ease!”

“Aw, you guys!” Kayano coos. “This is so sweet! I was feeling so lonely after 3-E found out I betrayed them, but I certainly feel like I’ve found friendships in you guys! Oh, you’ll take down Yanagisawa for me?? Really??”

“Of course!” Anaya says. “We hate the guy! He’s done so many horrible things! What’s a little bit of corporate takeover in Kunugigaoka, anyways?”

“Oh, Ritsu? You’ve known all along? What a surprise,” Takebayashi says. “Although since you’re a literal supercomputer, it’d be impossible to keep secrets from you!”

“Well, with my social media expertise and Ritsu’s help, and the coinciding timings of Koro-sensei’s last month, this is sure to drum up tons of hype!” Chika says. “Oh! Looks like the internet has its own theories! We hardly needed to do anything by ourselves after all!”

Kayano starts clapping. “Brilliant! End scene!”

“What,” Karma says, “the fuck?”

"You can't come with us, by the way," Takebayashi tells him. "Karasuma-sensei doesn't know you're part of this yet."

\--

“That,” the Principal snaps, “is not how it happened!”

“How would you know what happened?” Asano says, miffed. “If you don’t believe my versions of events-”

The Principal scowls. “I’ve known you for fifteen goddamn years. I know when you’re lying to me.”

“That’s not going to fly in court,” Asano says. He clears his throat and then speaks in a frankly terrifyingly accurate imitation of the Principal's voice. “Your honor, I’ve seen him when he’s asleep. I know he’s full of shit.”

Karasuma-sensei coughs. “While I can’t comment on any… personal anecdotes, I can say I don’t quite believe you’re giving us the full story here, Asano. A lot of things seem too convenient.”

“Not to be presumptuous, but this narrative ties in the backstory of a world-renowned assassin and his apprentice, the love between two sisters, a mad scientist and his charge, my father’s self-imposed sadsack backstory that draws an eerily similar parallel to Koro-sensei’s past and the fact that this school system exists for the sake of everyone’s character development. In the span of the past year 3-E survived murder plots, revenge arcs, and went to space. If you think my version of events is the one riddled with unbelievable coincidences, perhaps you need to take an outsider’s perspective to re-evaluate your own experiences.”

Karasuma-sensei and Sonokawa, his colleague whom he’d brought with him because he doesn’t think he can handle two Asano’s at once (and he’s right) blink in shock. 

The Principal leans a hand under his chin. “You’re snippy today.”

Asano gives him an aggrieved stare. “I’m snippy every day.”

“Assuming that series of events is true,” Sonokawa says. “This is very serious. If you kids know of this, then who else does? I can’t imagine that you would be the utmost secretive about it, especially not if these matters are being discussed in school. Do you think any of your other classmates have suspicions?”

“I’m fairly confident that I am aware of any of my schoolmates who know about the situation,” Asano says. 

Seo snickers a little. Sakakibara kicks him.

The Principal narrows his eyes at that.

Asano clears his throat. “Now that this matter is laid out in the open, how do we move forward?”

“Well all of you will have to sign non-disclosure agreements,” Sonokawa says, “although admittedly I didn’t bring that many forms…” 

“I wasn’t expecting such a large group,” Karasuma-sensei coughs. “And we’ll have to conduct a briefing. You all have a fairly… detailed picture of the events but we need to ensure we are all on the same page. I trust that none of your family members are aware?”

“Of course not, they’d go ballistic,” Watanabe says.

“There won’t be any legal repercussions, will there?” Asano says, frowning. “While no contracts of any sort were breached, technically we’re members of the public encroaching on private military activity.”

“Well…” Karasuma-sensei stares at him for a moment. “Technically, no. I reviewed the photographs and videos you all have captured. All of them were taken in public property or on school grounds. The fact that you’re aware of this at all is an oversight on our part. This is not a punishment.”

Asano looks back at his schoolmates, who are all no doubt considering the validity of that statement.

“Well?” Asano says cryptically. “What do you think?”

“As student councilors and representatives of the school population…” Araki says, “I’d say the truth has to come out one way or another-”

“Oh  _ fucking hell, Gakushuu _ ,” the Principal says suddenly. “Everyone knows. Kunugigaoka knows.”

\--

Karasuma-sensei must have gotten whiplash for how quickly he turns to face Principal Asano. “What do you mean?” He screeches.

“They’re all from different classes,” the Principal hisses. “Ishubya Kotya is a junior. This isn’t an isolated case. Gakushuu cherry-picked essential players to sell his story, but they all know, don’t they?”

Sonokawa grips her clipboard so hard her knuckles turn white. “Is this true?” She squeaks.

Asano seems greatly pleased. Perhaps it was the loss of the Principal’s composure such that he even managed to slip up and call him Gakushuu. “Well, I guess I really can’t keep anything from you after all, father.”

“You-”

“Everything we just said was true. It was simply the abridged version of it. I suppose the entire scope of Kunugigaoka’s involvement can be best summarized with…”

Ritsu pings up on Karasuma-sensei’s phone. “Sensei, I’ve opened a new tab on your browser!”

It’s a link to the Board.

The adults’ eyes widen comically.

“This-!”

Sonokawa screams. 

“Kayano, Takebayashi-” Karasuma stammers.

“Gakushuu Asano!” The Principal practically shrieks. 

“The first post here…” Sonokawa is practically pale, “is all the way from… the start of the school year… Boss… there’s a picture of you here…”

Ah. The snapshot of Karasuma-sensei heading up the mountain, and his companion with a machine gun strapped to his back. A classic.

“As long as we’re in agreement that it’s a government oversight and not any fault of the students that we all know,” Asano says, leaning back on his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "She's dragging the story out. That's what she's doing, she's just dragging the story out!"  
> Was I dragging the story out? All evidence points to one answer, and yet...


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! It's beginning to seem like a random toss up as to when I'll post something new. The next day? Two days after? A week or two? 
> 
> I'm tired, yall. Life is tiring. I wish I had the ability to better regulate my emotions but oh well.
> 
> I was occupied with... well, a couple of things. My brain. My work. A short little Asano-family centred fic called Discography I wrote over the past week. It has soft angst fluff vibes and I kinda love it.

"You're in so much trouble. Do you know how much trouble you're in? So much." 

Asano looks over at Karasuma-sensei who's in the middle of a tirade, and then back at the Principal, who's staring at Asano with narrowed eyes. The Principal might not be speaking right now, but whatever Karasuma-sensei is saying to a bored looking Miss Jelavic seems to be narrating the Principal’s inner thoughts rather well. 

"Sorry,  _ daddy _ ," Miss Jelavic says saccharinely, and Karasuma-sensei chokes on his next sentence. 

Asano turns back to the Principal. "What she said."

\--

"Um, Koro-sensei," Nagisa asks worriedly, flanked by his entourage of equally concerned friends, "are you okay?" 

Koro-sensei, who'd been curled up in a trembling yellow ball of tentacles and sadness in the corner of the classroom in lieu of imparting knowledge into their brains, seems to shake harder. Then he bursts out of his ball and pulls his students into a hug all whilst sobbing. 

"S-S-Sensei has failed you all!!!" He blubbers. "Sensei is so very sorry! He has failed in teaching you anything! I'm a failure! A loser!" 

"Sensei!" Isogai gaps. He wriggles until he manages to get a hand free which he just uses to pat a tentacle lightly. "That's not true, you're a great teacher." 

"That  _ is _ true!!!" He cries dramatically. What is he going on about now? 

“I’m so sorry! Sensei has been so  _ blind _ !”

“Koro-sensei,” Kataoka says, “I don’t know what is going on but maybe you would like to talk about it?”

Koro-sensei sniffles. “T-thank you, my dear class.... You all are wonderful students, willing to help Sensei like that...-”

Everyone waits in anticipation.

“-BUT I JUST DON’T DESERVE IT! YOU SHOULD LEAVE ME, LEAVE ME! How can I, the formerly best assassin in the world, claim to be even deserving of the title!-”

Karma, Kayano and Takebayashi step back into class. They’ve been hanging out a lot recently. Karma and Kayano were friends, so that made sense, but when did Takebayashi infiltrate their ranks? Kayano said it was nothing personal, but Nagisa used to be the third member of their trio! They went for lunch together and everything! He can’t help but feel a little put out, and even the rest of the class seemed to agree that there was something odd.

Ahem. 

“What’s Sensei going on about?” Karma asks.

Koro-sensei’s head shoots up at his voice. “KARMAAAAA,” he wails.

Karma squawks as he, Takebayashi and Kayano are all dragged into the messy tentacle hug. 

“My dear dear Aguri, I’m sorry I’ve failed you and your baby sister!!!”

“Kayano,” Nakamura says a little helplessly, “what is Koro-sensei saying?!”

“Oh, I get it,” Kayano says. “He’s sad that I managed to keep  _ such a large secret _ from him!”

Karma shoots Kayano a dirty look. 

“What? Is that seriously it, Koro-sensei?” Sugino says. “Well, she’s an actress, it’s her job!”

“I think you were a plenty good secret-keeper, Koro-sensei,” Okuda says loyally. “You managed to hide your entire past from us, there was no way we could have figured it out!”

“Well that’s because,” Bitch-sensei says from the doorway, “you all are dumbasses.”

“Hey!” 

“You’re the one to talk, Bitch-sensei!”

“Please, brats,” Bitch-sensei says, rolling her eyes. “I’ve had the Octopus figured out months ago!”

“Oh my god,” Karma says miserably.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Yada asks.

“Because it wasn’t in my best interest to,” Bitch-sensei says flippantly. 

“Of course you can just claim that now,” Terasaka says. “You don’t even have proof!”

Takebayashi snickers.

“Oh?” Bitch-sensei smirks wickedly, and then Karasuma-sensei comes up behind her and smacks her over the head with a rolled up piece of paper. 

“ _ You’re in so much trouble _ ,” he says, like he’s been repeating it dozens of times. Koro-sensei bawls harder.

\--

“Young Asano,” Koro-sensei sobs.

“Full offence, please let go of me,” Asano grunts.

“This,” the Principal is saying to Karasuma-sensei, “is hardly necessary.”

“Maybe,” Karasuma-sensei says. “It’s not government enforced, of course - just for personal use. I highly recommend that you should sign it anyways.”

“This is Koro-sensei’s contract with every line deleted except for the clause where he’s not allowed to harm his students.”

“Yeah, and?”

\--

“A student council meeting? This is out of the blue,” Isogai says. “It’s not like we have any more school events lined up.”

“True” Kataoka muses. “I wonder what Asano wants to discuss.”

All the students they pass on the way to the meeting room are giving them odd looks, which, to be fair, there’s no real reason for them to be down here. 

“Maybe it’s about graduation,” Isogai says. “Adjustments that need to be made since we placed among the top fifty?”

“Perhaps,” Kataoka says, but she sounds unconvinced.

They reach the student council room, but to both their surprises, there’s no one there.

“He did say now?” Isogai says, furrowing his brow. “Oh! I just got a text from him. He’s held up with something, but Sakakibara should be taking over...”

“Is  _ everyone _ held up with something?” Kataoka frowns. “It’s a full council meeting, right? It’s just us here.”

“Maybe Main had an assembly or something,” Isogai shrugs. He pushes the door in, turns on the lights, and-

“-what the fuck?”

The whiteboard directly facing the door has a giant signed poster of Haruna Mase on it.

“Haruna Mase in short film Black and Gold,” Kataoka reads, “playing as…  _ Kayano Kaede _ .”

“Is…” Isogai, squeaks, “is this some kind of a prank?!”

Kataoka whips out her phone. “I got a text! It’s from… I don’t recognize this number. Do you?”

“No, neither do I. It’s a local number, though.”

“It’s just a link. To a… twitter,” Kataoka frowns. “Should I… click on it?”

Isogai looks around. “This is… I guess you should.”

Ritsu appears at a corner of Kataoka’s screen. “I took the liberty of checking, and it’s not a virus! Don’t worry, Megu!”

“Thanks,” Kataoka says. She clicks it, and blinks in astonishment. “It’s… a Haruna Mase fanpage?”

“Oh my god” Isogai says. “Do you think someone recognized Kayano as Haruna Mase?”

“That seems possible… But Asano called us here… it’s so unlike him to play this sort of prank… wait, do we know a Watanabe Ai? That name sounds familiar.”

“There’s a Watanabe Ai in 3-B,” Isogai says. “Why?”

“She runs this fanpage. It’s in the bio description.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“So she found out, told Asano… then he did this?”

“This is getting weird,” Isogai says. “I tried texted Asano, but he hasn’t replied me yet.”

“This isn’t a meeting, there’s no one else here,” Kataoka says suddenly, miffed. “They’re just making fun of us. Let’s go. If it’s something important, he can yell at us for not showing up later.”

“Wait, Megu-”

She pivots on her heel and kicks the door open, and immediately stops short. “Was that picture there just now when we got here?”

“No.”

On the hallway across the student council room, is the official school portrait shot of Aguri Yukimura, 3-E’s old school teacher and Akari Yukimura/Haruna Mase/Kayano Kaede’s sister. From behind the picture snakes out a string of cotton twine, which stretches all the way to the end of the corridor and then disappears round the corner.

“What the-”

“Another link,” Kataoka says. “A twitter post from the same account. True facts about Haruna Mase, her real name is Akari Yukimura- oh son of a bitch! Come on!”

“Wait, what!-”

“Scavenger hunt, follow the string! Let’s go!”

They both take off running, tracing the string. It brings them up one floor, and the second hallway is full of photographs. They’re clearly taken from Kunugigaoka Main Campus grounds, but the photographs are all of 3-E, Karasuma-sensei, and Koro-sensei himself.

“That’s Karasuma-sensei with a gun!”

“A screenshot of a google search - oh fucking hell, Karasuma Tadaomi appears in its results!”

“This just says if Ritsu is a norwegian transfer student why does she have a Japanese name and no last name- oh no”

“This is from the baseball tournament at the start of the year! Is that Koro-sensei’s head sticking out of the- oh Main Campus, those little shits-”

“IS THAT US AT OKINAWA!”

“THEY WERE PLAYING US!”

They round the corner to reach the end of that stupidly long piece of string, that concludes spectacularly with Karma Akabane.

Not a picture of him. Just Karma himself, leaning against the wall. He’s playing a phone game, and tiny little ‘pews’ can be heard when he taps his screen.

“Hey guys,” he says, barely looking up. “I found out yesterday.”

They’re both winded from the sprint. 

“Found,” pant, “out,” pant, “what?”

“That everyone in Main Campus knew about Koro-sensei from the start,” Karma says. A loud crashing noise comes from his phone, he scowls, and then pockets it. “Yeah, I’m pretty pissed too. Come on.”

"Is this your idea, Karma?" Kataoka asks. "Asano wouldn't do this sort of strange thing."

"Please, you don't know what sort of little shit he actually is," Karma grumbles. "Dating my ass-" 

"Karma?" 

"Yeah, it's my idea. Mine and Kayano's. Figured if I had to run around to figure this out, you guys do too. Hah!" 

"Oh  _ Kayano _ knows too?" 

"You wouldn't guess who else knows." 

\--

“-so we figured we’d break the news to you two first,” Sakakibara is saying. “Since you’re the class representatives and all, you can give us more insight on how to let the rest of your class know. That we know.”

“Ah, well…” Isogai hums uncomfortably. “Not everyone is going to… take the news well.”

“That’s an understatement,” Kataoka mutters.

“We get it,” Koyama says, fidgeting a little. “We haven’t been the nicest. That’s probably an understatement as well… us all at Main Campus were terrible to your class. We had our own circumstances, but that doesn’t negate what we put you through. When we get to telling your class… all of us would like to apologize.”

Isogai and Kataoka, understandably, look shocked. “Ah, uh,” Kataoka gets out, “well-”

“He’s right,” Anaya says, from across the room. “The school populace as a whole ridiculed your class during assemblies. Knowing that we did those things whilst in awareness of your situation with the octopus would not be taken well with other members of your class. We would like to extend a formal apology, once we get the situation laid out.” She cocks her head. “Although I do hope that hearing our side of how things went down might change some minds.”

“We tried very much to help!” Yuna says earnestly. “As much as we could. We still had to look after ourselves, too, because we weren’t allowed to know. We didn’t know how much trouble we’d get into, especially when we found out it was regarding international safety.”

“We made a report!” Sakakibara says. “Karasuma-sensei told us to make it. It’s our account of how we worked everything out, and any of the steps we took to influence what happens in 3-E.” He hands the class reps a binder. “You can read this. We have to go through several more revisions before we pass it up, but this is pretty accurate as it is.”

“This is… comprehensive,” Isogai says.

“Whatever,” Karma says. “You’re not going to read that all in one sitting. Trust me, I tried - Asano’s writing is super dry. I’ll give you a rundown.”

“Speaking of Asano,” Kataoka says. “Where is he?”

“He’s having a principal’s meeting,” Seo says.

“Don’t say that,” Sakakibara scolds. He turns back to Kataoka. “He’s having lunch with his father.”

“I’m not the one who called it a Principal’s meeting, he did,” Seo reminds him. 

“They’re having a nice family meal to practice healthy communication,” Sakakibara says. “He would have liked to be here otherwise. Well, actually, he should have been here. It’s 4pm. No one has lunch that long.”

“Maybe the Principal murdered his son and he’s skipping town.”

“No!”

“Well maybe Asano’s the one who murdered his dad and he’s skipping town.”

“Shut up, Seo. Anyways, he’s busy right now.”

“He wouldn’t have made you all run around,” Karma snickers. “We were supposed to meet you in the council room… but this was more fun, was’t it?”

“Sure,” Isogai humors. 

“Alright, the run down,” Karma says. “I’m being totally unbiased here, you can take my word for it. As you’ve figured from the pictures, Kunugigaoka’s very own Haruna Mase number one stan figured out who Kayano was. With knowledge of Aguri Yukimura, they connected the dots. That, and all the photographs showing how un-subtle we actually were. The first time that Main actively took steps to interact with our class because of Koro-sensei was actually with Takaoka. Now I don’t know much about him because I skipped all his lessons, but from how you all described him then he was a little bitch. Main actually recognized him for the piece of shit he is and they managed to guilt-trip the Principal into firing him.”

“Seriously?” Kataoka leans forward. “How did they recognize him? And how did they, uh, guilt-trip the Principal?”

“One of the students here had a brother in the air force who had the misfortune of getting Takaoka as an instructor. And the guilt-tripping one is pretty funny - in hindsight, that is. It probably wasn’t very funny then. So there was no way the Principal didn’t know what was going on. He definitely did, right? But he approved it because he made the 3-E system and he’s a psycho.”

“Yes!” Everyone in the room agrees.

“Yes, right. So he definitely knew Takaoka was a child abuser. But he’s technically one too. So they had a couple of guys just stand in front of him and talk really loudly about child abuse. And maybe insinuate that Asano - the small one - was a victim. So of course he had to prove that he’s not one, and fire Takaoka.”

“I thought it was strangely convenient that the Principal appeared when he did,” Isogai says. “I figured he just got bored, and we got lucky.”

“So Main was pulling the strings, or whatever,” Karma shrugs. “Sure. Let’s move on. Nothing much actually happens after that. They continue to spy on us and be mean to us - don’t give me those looks, you guys were assholes. Made that stupid bet so we got to go to Okinawa, somehow managed to spy on us there too. Then when that traitor Takebayashi joined their ranks for like 3 days they managed to turn him on us and made him some kind of shitty double agent.”

“I can hear you,” Takebayashi says. 

“I know,” Karma says.

“Technically, Bitch-sensei was the original double-agent,” Takebayashi defends. “The student who managed to take a video of us during our Okinawa assassination attempt actually ran into her when you guys went up to the other resort. You can watch the video later, she told him everything-”

“Okay, I’m telling the story, shush. Sports festival, we beat them, but then 3-E had to do the whole community service thing for two weeks so they beat us during midterms. Then-”

“You’re not telling the full story,” Kayano says, from where she’s lounging next to Takebayashi.

“Ugh,” Karma says. “This is what-happened-to-3-E time, not feel-sad-for-Asano time. It’s not even in the binder.”

“That’s okay, you can just tell us,” Isogai says. “If Kayano thinks it’s important.”

“Ugh,” Karma says, again. “Sure, whatever. You remember those four exchange students Asano brought to beat us in the pole-toppling tournament? Yeah so to punish them after they lost against us, the Principal beat them up until they had to be hospitalized. And he did it in front of Asano, so the poor kid - hey, this isn’t sarcasm! I actually feel sorry for him in this scenario! - had to watch his dad beat up four of his friends and clean up blood afterwards. Yeah.”

“Seriously?!” Isogai looks around. “Is that true?!”

“I mean, yeah,” Sakakibara says. 

“Come on, we haven’t even gotten to the bad parts yet-”

“There are worse parts?!”

“-so chill. Oh, yeah, sure. He actually ends up beating Asano himself, even I think that was pretty bad, like he’s the one who sent me to 3-E because I hit someone, and didn’t he tell Takaoka that a good teacher shouldn’t have to use violence. What a hypocrite. We haven’t gotten there yet. Before that we end up with Reaper, do the whole school festival thing, sell food and come in third place. 3-A came in first, right? Well it wasn’t good enough for dear old Principal Asano, and he wanted Asano junior to poison our food. Yeah, I know, that was my reaction too. Okinawa memories, right? Well anyways, Asano says - or I’m assuming he says “wtf no dad are you out of your mind” and he  _ doesn’t _ poison us, what the fuck, because he’s actually a normal human being. No, that’s not where Principal Asano beats him up… you know, I was going to say that the Principal was smart enough to not do that sort of thing where there are witnesses and the Virtuosos were there then, but I just remembered he actually ended up slapping Asano in front of the whole of class 3-A, so, yeah. There’s a video recording of it. You know, you guys should really unpin that. It’s jarring that the first thing I see when I open the page is just a seven second loop of Asano getting his ass kicked.”

“We would, but the Principal has access to the Board now, so we want it to be the first thing  _ he _ sees when he opens the page.”

“Okay, I accept that. So anyways, we had the school festival, yadda yadda, we did finals and we actually do super well this time. Oh, remember the assination request Asano issued to us? That we would destroy Kunugigaoka’s education ideology? Yes, this is where the slap comes in. So 3-A failed - haha - okay sheesh not fail, just did worse than us - stop throwing things at me! - so  _ anyways _ 3-A ‘fell short of expectations’ (Karma says this with air quotes and an eye roll), Asano told his dad to eat shit in more words than that probably, and daddy dearest is so mad he just - pow! Bitchslaps Asano across the classroom. That’s about that.”

“You know,” Sakakibara says, “hearing that story all over again... maybe it  _ is _ too early for bonding lunch.”

“Yeah, let’s move on. So after that Kayano tells us she’s Akari Yukimura, and we find out about Koro-sensei’s past. And later on, this traitor Takebayashi decides to tell Kayano that Main knows, so they make friends or whatever.”

“It wasn’t my idea,” Takebayashi says.

“It might as well have been,” Karma shoots back. “Oh my god. You know what the most unbelievable part of finding out about this was? Is finding out that Takebayashi has a  _ girlfriend _ . What the fuck.”

“Shut the fuck up, Karma.”

“Watanabe, I don’t know what you see in him.”

“The fact that he can’t see.”

“Hey!”

“Haha, that’s funny. Isogai, Kataoka, Haruna Mase’s number one fan is Watanabe Ai, Takebayashi’s… whatever.”

“O-oh! Congratulations,” Kataoka says.

“Wow, so turns out those valentine’s chocolates were real after all,” Isogai rubs his head sheepishly. “Not that I doubted you or anything!”

“Whatever,” Takebayashi sulks. 

“I found out, because I confronted Kayano and Takebayashi. They’ve been sneaking off a lot to come to Main, you know. Well, I guess you guys wouldn’t know, because everyone pretty much goes home after school. Yeah, I lurk around, it’s not like I have homework to do.”

“You should do your homework,” Isogai admonishes. 

Karma grins at him. “No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm including a little more 3-E perspective here! I thought it'd be fun. I'm really just "anything goes" with this fic, huh. 
> 
> Will Koro-sensei get over his existential crisis (and yes, he was immediately alerted by Karasuma who told him to tone it the fuck down)? Is either Asano alive? How will they tell 3-E? (I have an idea, and yall can probably already guess it.)


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the past few chapters were me trying to figure out how to rehash the abridged version of events in a different way. Will this chapter be any different? Who knows?
> 
> Hey guys, I'm back! This is either the longest or second longest hiatus I've taken for this fic. I briefly participated in Karushuu Week and I did... a couple of other stuff. Real life stuff. I want to wrap this fic up but I still have more? To type? It won't exceed 50 chapters but the rate this is going I might hit 45... but I;m hoping to end it around 43 or so. (Notice that my chapters are now longer.)
> 
> I haven't gotten round to looking through and replying comments for the past chapter yet. I will! Within the next... 24 hours, I think. I'm about to get "it's 1am why aren't you asleep" messages from people who know my timezone. Love you guys too <3 I've been inactive as of late :( I haven't abandoned this fic (or any of my other incomplete ones)! I'm still alive and they Will get an update even if it takes me Years. KK will not take years to finish.

“A school assembly?” Nakamura says. “What else does 3-A want with us?” 

“Whatever it is,” Terasaka says, “I hope they won’t be sore losers about it!”

“If it’s a schoolwide assembly, maybe it’s not 3-A’s doing this time,” Kanzaki says. 

“Unless Asano’s behind it,” Sugino points out.

Isogai looks pained. Kataoka clears her throat. “Well,” she says, “Whatever their motivations are, it is a school assembly and we have to be there soon, so we should get going.”

“Shouldn't we wait for Karasuma-sensei?” Nagisa asks. 

“He, um,” Isogai coughs. “He had things to take care of. He’ll meet us in the main campus.”

“Where’s Koro-sensei?” Okuda says. “He’s usually here in the morning.”

Isogai and Kataoka exchange nervous looks, but Muramatsu unknowingly rescues them. “Nah, he probably heard there was an assembly and decided to fly somewhere for a fancy sit-down breakfast.”

3-E titters. “That sure sounds like Koro-sensei, alright!”

“Sure,” Isogai says faintly. From the back of class Karma winces, and places a hand on his head. Nearer in the front seats, Kayano laughs out loud. 

\--

“You tried to _kill me!_ ”

The Principal, for what he’s worth, looks more scandalized than anyone has ever seen him. The fact that Gakushuu is still alive and the somehow kicked-puppy look the Principal is donning, is what makes the student body not jump to Gakushuu’s defence immediately. (Araki discreetly snaps a picture for good measure because this may very well be the only time anyone sees the Principal wearing that face.)

That, and everyone knows how dramatic their student body council president can be. It’s a tossup between an actual threat on Gakushuu’s life, versus the actual hour-long tirade he subjected 3-A to because the Principal came home one day with the world’s ugliest rug that threw off the color of the curtains. 

“I was _trying_ to do something _nice_ _for us_ ,” the Principal says, sounding frustrated and exasperated and hurt at the same time.

“Never,” Gakushuu says, one acidic stare and an accusing finger in the Principal’s face, (and Araki snaps another picture), “cook again, _I swear to god_ -”

\--

“Is everything ready for 3-E?”

“It’s as ready as it could ever be,” Chika says, as she scrolls through her laptop. 

Next to her, Saito hums. “Hopefully they won’t be pissed enough to try and murder us.”

“They can’t do that,” Sakakibara says. “That’s illegal.”

“I don’t know about you guys,” Watanabe says, “but honestly, if I spent an entire year in a life or death scenario and found out that you guys knew this entire while and continued to be assholes to me, I’d be pissed.”

“Yeah!” Koyama says. “Um. I don’t know how to get around that.”

“The ones who know were okay with it.”

“Karma, Isogai and Kataoka? Sure, they may have been seemingly more accepting of it, but you have to admit in those circumstances it was one or two of them against all of us. They’re not going to come jumping to our defence when the rest of 3-E comes down our throats.”

“Don’t look at me,” Watanabe says. “I fully accept that Takebayashi isn’t going to stand between them and us. I don’t think it’s fair to make him choose a side.”

“Don’t bother looking towards Kayano, either,” Asano says. “We’re friendly but we’re not _friends_. An allyship, if you will… but there’s nothing else to be gained beyond this stage.”

“3-E is fully entitled to be angry at us and they’re not in any way obligated to forgive us. I do hope it won’t end in bloodshed, though.”

\--

“Um,” Maehara says, as 3-E steps into the school hall. “Isn’t this supposed to be a school assembly?”

It’s just them. The rest of the hall is empty.

“Maybe they’re not here yet,” Sugino says, unconvinced.

“We-ell!” Nakamura huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “Asano better not be just messing with us!”

“I can’t blame you all for thinking that of me.”

3-E whirls around. It’s Asano, stepping into the hall and shutting the door behind him. “Nice to see you again, 3-E.” 

It’s both amusing and sad to watch how immediately 3-E jumps to the defensive. It makes Asano wonder about the other opponents they’ve faced. Do they reach for a gun that’s not there when a balloon pops? Do they get a case of food poisoning and immediately jump to the worst possible scenario? Can they look at their teacher and see anything but blood on his hands?

“Hello, Asano,” Isogai says pleasantly. Kataoka nods in greeting. Ever so tactful, Akabane crosses his arms and says, “why’dya drag us here, Second Place? Cut to the chase.”

A wonderful bridge to their topic of discussion. The moniker “Second Place” makes 3-E relax - a reminder of their victory. They’re no longer doormats or laughing stocks, and Main Campus is not their firing squad. 

“I shall,” Asano says. “This is a school assembly - the other students will be here soon, but I’ve requested a meeting with you all before that to extend my formal apologies,” he says, and to the stunned twenty seven faces of the 3-E students, he inclines his head in a small bow.

“I may not have been the main instigator for some of the academic hurdles you have faced, but I cannot deny my participation in them, and in instilling the spirit of Kunugigaoka Middle School that has no doubt impacted your class negatively. I do not apologize for me and the other students for attaining better scores than you - I believe that’s something everyone should strive for regardless - but I will acquiesce that our attitudes stemming from that were unsatisfactory.”

There’s a pause.

Akabane says, “that’s a shitty apology.”

Asano’s eye twitches. “Be grateful you got one at all.”

“Um, thank you, Asano,” Kataoka manages. 

“I’d like to disrespectfully point out that grades should not be an indicator of one’s achievements,” Akabane says. 

Asano sneers at him. “And yet what fills you with more personal failure than an unsatisfactory grade? You cannot wage a war with academics and turn around to say that it’s not what you were fighting for.”

Akabane narrows his eyes and opens his mouth, but Asano cuts him off. “This is not what we’re here to discuss. Come on.” He swivels on his heel and stalks to the front of the hall, and 3-E trail like awkward ducklings behind him.

He gestures vaguely to the front of the hall as he walks up onto the stage. “Settle down wherever, make yourselves comfortable. This entire space is yours.”

“I thought you said the other students are coming,” Terasaka says.

“They are,” Asano says cryptically. He disappears behind a curtain.

“Anyone else feel like this is really weird,” Yoshida says, “or is it just me?”

“It’s not just you,” Koro-sensei giggles, perched behind the kids. He’d somehow procured a bag of popcorn.

“Yeah, right, it’s really- KOROSENSEI WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

“LEAVE BEFORE ASANO AND THE OTHER STUDENTS COME BACK!”

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!”

“KORO-SENSEI, YOU’LL GET FOUND OUT!”

(“How they thought they were ever subtle,” Anaya says, peeking out from behind a curtain wing, “is beyond me.”)

“It’s okay, students!” Koro-sensei says, holding his tentacles up in the air for peace. “I’ve taken the necessary precautions to ensure that no one who does not know my existence already will see me!”

The class narrows their eyes. “Wait.”

(“Come on, come on,” Karma mutters.)

“That’s right!” Koro-sensei proclaims, in the same booming volume. The type of volume that if you were, say, Asano, who was backstage, would be able to hear. “No one in this building who has not signed an NDA will be able to see me!”

“Is this…” Fuwa scrunches up her face. “Some kind of magical spell?”

“Come on, _come on_ ,” Karma hisses, and Kayano smacks him.

“New technology?” Nagisa wonders aloud.

“A better disguise?”

“A cloaking device?”

(Karma bangs his head on the floor. Kayano pats his back. Takebayashi snickers.)

“You tell them you’re in a costume?”

“You pretend you’re in cosplay?”

“You say you have an, um, rare medical disease?”

(“We are so stupid,” Karma sobs into Nagisa’s lap. Nagisa, not quite sure why Karma’s pulling out all the stops with his dramatism, cautiously pats Karma’s hair. Kayano and Takebayashi have their hands over their mouths to stop themselves from laughing too loudly.)

“Not quite!” Koro-sensei says. “Remember kids, context clues are important!”

“Wait,” Kanzaki pipes up. “You said that everyone who is allowed to see you already knows you…” She turns towards the stage with narrowed eyes, and then gasps. “Asano knows?!”

“WHAT?!”

“You’re not serious?”

“He’s backstage right now!”

“Is he listening in?”

“KORO-SENSEI!”

“Ding ding!” Koro-sensei’s face lights up, the same way he would when they’re having a pop quiz in class and someone gets a right answer. Which, yeah. 

“Are you serious?!”

Nagisa gapes down at Karma. “Wait-”

“Holy shit!” Terasaka jumps up, and points an accusing finger at Koro-sensei. “This is supposed to be a whole student assembly! Does that mean-”

“Fucking finally!” Karma jumps to his feet and throws his hands in the air. 

3-E whirls on him. “You?!”

Karma takes several quick steps back, holding his palms out. “Woah, hey.”

Nakamura cracks her knuckles. “Explain yourself.”

Nagisa looks up with wide eyes. “You _told him_ , Karma?!”

Karma shakes his head frantically. “Don’t give me that look, Nagisa! All of you! I wasn’t the one who-” he glares at Kayano and Takebayashi, both losing their shit. “Shut up! Be helpful!”

“Wait, them too?”

  
“I knew it was weird when you three started hanging out!”

“Why, guys?”

“Isn’t that illegal?!”

\--

  
“Settle down,” Karasuma-sensei says, stepping out from… wherever the fuck he was. No one was paying attention, they were too busy freaking out.

Next to him is the Principal, looking incredibly disgruntled as he pulls a wad of cash out from his wallet and slaps it into Karasuma-sensei’s palm.

(The Principal has once again incurred a loss for underestimating 3-E. Karasuma-sensei wasn’t exactly going to bet _against_ his class, and luckily they figured it out before the Main Campus students started their ‘presentation’.)

“Did you know about this, Karasuma-sensei?!”

Karasuma-sensei sighs. “Unfortunately, I did.”

“The whole school? Seriously?”

“Necessary precautions have been taken,” Karasuma-sensei says through gritted teeth. “This was not a… _scenario_ we foresaw.”

“Wait!” Yada says, startled. “Did Bitch-sensei have anything to do with this? You were talking to her about breach of security!”

Karasuma-sensei sighs, again. “She did.”

“So she’s a traitor two times over!”

  
“What the hell!”

“Wait, didn’t she say she figured out Koro-sensei from the beginning?!”

“There’s no proof!”

They turn towards Bitch-sensei and she shrieks at them, “Shut up, little brats!”

“What does Asano have anything to do with this?!”

“Are we talking about 3-A, the whole third year, or-”

“ASANO!” The Principal yells towards the stage, shocking everyone into silence. “STOP STALLING!”

A few beats pass, and then Asano pokes his head out. “Of course, sir,” he says faux-pleasantly. Then his gaze snaps to 3-E, and he surveys them with such an impressive unimpressed expression that Karasuma-sensei checks his students over for damage.

Then he says, “everyone, take a seat.” And disappears backstage again.

\--

“It’s an incredibly complicated story,” Karma says, trying to use Karasuma-sensei as a human shield as his classmates scrabble after him, “really, I shouldn’t even be on your hit list. I wasn’t even the one who found out first! Why don’t you interrogate Takebayashi, huh? Or Kayano?”

Kayano blinks, large innocent eyes. “Huh? What?”

“Let’s all sit down!” Takebayashi says quickly, and then Terasaka slaps him upside the head. 

\--

The person that walks out on stage is not Asano. It’s the computing club president Chika, holding a laptop.

“She knows too?”

“Well, apparently everyone does…”

She waves to 3-E, and plugs her device into the podium. The projector screen in front of the hall lights up and

“RITSU?!”

“Hi classmates!” Ritsu says, her hands behind her back. “As a supercomputer, I have access to the internet and the school’s server systems, so nothing is really kept a secret from me! To give you guys a confirmation, yes, the students in Kunugigaoka Middle School Main Campus are aware of Koro-sensei’s existence and the assassination deal! I had been monitoring the situation this entire while to ensure that Main is not jeopardizing 3-E’s mission or revealing any international secrets to the public.”

Maehara looks confused. “So you told Karasuma-sensei!”

“No.” Karasuma-sensei crosses his arms. He looks ticked off.

“Ah, yeah, haha!” Ritsu giggles. “I made the executive decision to keep it to myself! It was kind of funny, and I figured they weren’t doing any harm, so.”

“Funny? How was it funny?!”

“Not doing any harm? Don’t you remember what 3-A did to us-”

“And what, pray tell,” Asano snaps, suddenly on stage again, anger bristling, “did we do to you?!”

“W-well, you guys were assholes!”

“Yeah! You all kept bullying us!”

  
“You made that bet with us for midterms!”

“You tried to crush us during the baseball tournament and the sports festival!”

  
“Oh, yeah! You wanted to get Isogai fired! What did he ever do to you?!”

“You-”

“HEy!” Another girl appears, swinging a microphone. The feedback screeches through the speaker system, making everybody wince. “Alright, no fighting. We’re all civil today.”

“Watanabe,” Asano starts. 

“Tsk tsk. Go cool off,” Watanabe says, and shoos Asano offstage. Then she turns towards 3-E again. “Hey guys! Nice to see you. We haven’t been on all the best terms through the year, but we’re supposed to come clean and tell you all about what’s been happening behind the scenes down here at Main. We understand that you’re not happy with us, but we’d appreciate if we keep all the fighting to a minimum, at least until the end of our presentation. It’d never end if we have debates every few minutes!”

Miruma says, “you guys have a presentation!”

“Oh, yeah! We have a powerpoint!”

Ritsu winks out of the screen, and in her place pops up a powerpoint. THE BOARD is in big bold font, and below it there is a sketch of a miniature Koro-sensei hand-in-hand with a tiny Kunudon.

“The board is short for the conspiracy board, which was the name of a schoolwide forum we had to keep our discoveries in order! None of the teachers, not even Principal Asano, was aware of this.”

\--

“And here I thought you knew everything,” Koro-sensei teases, and then dodges a knife sailing his way.

“Shut up,” Principal Asano grumbles. “ _You’re_ the supercreature with super speed and supposedly master assassin level observation skills, and you didn’t know.”

“Touche.”

\--

“We’ll do this in chronological order.” Watanabe motions to the powerpoint, and the slide changes to a screenshot of a news article. “Everyone knew when the moon blew up. That happened weeks before Koro-sensei even came to Kunugigaoka. That’s old news.”

“What you guys probably didn’t know,” the slide changes again, “was that our school president Asano was at Yukimura-sensei’s funeral. That’s where he met Yanagisawa from Yanagisawa Labs, or the person you guys will come to be familiar with as Shiro!”

“I wasn’t at the funeral,” Kayano pipes up. “I was too busy planning my revenge plot.”

“Did you guys know that Koro-sensei and Shiro were even related in the beginning?!”

“Well, not yet. We’ll get there!”

The next slide is a blurry shot of Karasuma-sensei, his two colleagues from the Department of Defense (one of whom carrying a gun) and the Principal walking up the hill to the 3-E classroom. 3-E gapes at the picture and Watanabe stares at it for a few moments. “We were understandably concerned,” Watanabe says. “The principal was there, so we didn’t immediately report it. Things became more sketchy when the school website updated to put Tadaomi Karasuma-sensei as the new homeroom teacher for 3-E but a google search shows that he’d been in the military.”

Karasuma-sensei clears his throat.

“Then!” The slide changes again and this time it’s a screenshot of Watanabe’s Haruna Mase stan twitter page. 

“Kayano Kaede was the name of one of actress Haruna Mase’s roles in a short film,” Watanabe explains, “And Haruna Mase was a stage name. Her real name was Akari Yukimura. This is my twitter page,” and Watanabe winks at Kayano with a peace sign up, “so imagine my surprise when I saw Haruna standing with 3-E during one of the morning assemblies!”

“You guys figured everything out _backwards_ ?!” Okajima says. “We knew about Kayano and Shiro last, but you guys somehow found out right at the beginning?!”

  
“Right!” Watanabe says. “Of course we knew they were related, not just how they connected. We had a lot of theories, actually, hence the conspiracy board! Although on hindsight they’re kind of silly.”

“And!” The next slide is an embedded video of Koro-sensei’s first meeting with Bitch-sensei, in which she tries very hard to flirt with him in front of the Kunugigaoka school gates entrance.

Watanabe giggles. “Listening into the conversation, both her and Koro-sensei state that they work at Kunugigaoka. Which we know for certain to be not true, so we figured it was linked to you. And afterwards we saw that Irina-sensei’s information had been updated on the school’d database, but not Koro-sensei’s! We didn’t know his name then.”

3-E, despite themselves, snicker at the video. Ritsu replays it three times.

“Then came the new exchange students, Ritsu and Horibe! They were updated in the student attendance - which the council has access to, of course, but they don’t turn up for assemblies. I wish that was the rationale for us to dig deeper with our investigations, but our motivations were… er…”

Yuna skips out. “That was me! Hi 3-E! Me and Sakakibara really really _really_ wanted to meet Ritsu, so we decided to go up to your classroom!” Then she shrugs. “Not the best idea, because we could only go after your class has left, so we wouldn’t have seen Ritsu anyways, if she was a real person. But we got like, tons of pictures of the 3-E building. Which are weird.”

“You guys had target boards outside your classroom.”

“And you can’t accuse us of trespassing! Your classroom is on campus grounds and this is our school too!”

“And then we had an interesting discovery! The total number of students in your class was supposed to be 28, but there are only 27 seats in your classroom! In place of the 28th seat, there was this mysterious black box!”

\--

“I admit that is a logistical oversight,” Karasuma-sensei coughs.

Principal Asano shakes his head. “If you were keeping international secrets, you should have consulted an espionage department on this.”

“Like your students?”

“Well… I admit they were, er, more conscientious than I anticipated-”

\--

“Then we had our school baseball tournament,” Watanabe says, and the next picture is simply of Koro-sensei’s head sticking out of the grass, painted white like a baseball, speaking as the 3-E boys huddle around it. 

“I don’t think we need to elaborate,” she says, and Yuna snickers.

“After that, you guys went to Okinawa Islands,” Watanabe says, “and, well, just watch these.”

The two video streams of Saito’s excited chattering on the Okinawa Resort play. 

\--

Karasuma-sensei’s hand clamps down on Bitch-sensei’s forearm as she tries to sneak away.

\--

“Miss Jelavic confirmed who Itona and Ritsu were,” Yuna says.

“What, can you blame me?!” Bitch-sensei says. “Listen, they already knew! What was the point of me keeping it a secret?! Like they’d believe me if I denied any of it?!”

“We would have known you were lying, if you did,” Chika offers.

“Yeah, see! Ow, how do you have such sharp fingernails! Karasuma, let go of me!”

“Moving on!” Watanabe claps her hand. “Then Kotarou transferred from 3-E to 3-A, everyone knew that-”

“Kotarou?” Terasaka interrupts. “You mean Takebayashi?”

Watanabe blinks. “Uh.”

“Wait, Takebayashi got on a first name basis with a girl before me?!”

“Shut up, Okajima.”

“No, seriously!”

“Wait, does that mean?-”

“Excuse me!” Watanabe says, hiding her mouth behind her hand. “This is not the topic of discussion!”

  
“Wait, are _you_ the fake girlfriend?!”

“I TOLD YOU GUYS SHE WAS REAL!”

“WHO THE HELL WANTS TO DATE YOU?!”

“Ugh!” Watanabe buries her face in her hands. “This is so embarrassing.”

“There, there,” Yuna pats her on the back. “It’s your fault for having a plot-integral romantic arc.”

“Well, Akabane and Asano are also a plot-integral romantic arc,” Watanabe hisses to her.

3-E, mid commotion, does not pick up on that. Koro-sensei, on the other hand, does. He materializes between the two girls, causing them to jump in shock. “DID YOU SAY KARMA AND ASANO ARE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP!”

“Wait what?”

“Damn, come to think of it-”

“-Enemies to lovers!”

“The arch rivals tension is-”

Karma leaps to his feet. “No! We are not! We never have and never will! That is a terrible terrible lie!”

“Aww,” Kayano says. “But we were so happy for-”

Karma shoots her an acidic glare. “Shut up. Just. Shut up.”

Watanabe, just happy that the attention has shifted, says, “it’s not real. Asano made it up on the spot for shock factor. Karasuma-sensei and the Principal was interrogating him because they knew he was keeping a secret, and _that_ was the fake secret he came up with.”

By which time more of the Main Campus students were out on stage, sitting around and laughing along. It wasn’t the whole student body, obviously, just the dubbed “rehearsal party” sans Kotya (who was disappointed he couldn’t skip his year 2 classes to join them). 

\--

“But…” Karasuma-sensei frowns. “I saw them in the hallway…”

“Asano can be a very devious child,” Principal Asano nods solemnly.

Karasuma-sensei scowls, digs through his wallet and slaps a few bills into the Principal’s hand. The Principal pockets it, smugly.

\--

“So, we made Ko- Takebayashi spill the beans. Nicely.”

“You were going to put staples in my forehead if I didn’t tell you anything.”

“Shut up. We made him tell us everything, but by this point we already got most of what we know from Irina-sensei. We had more he didn’t at the time, like how Horibe was from Horibe Electronics - we googled it - and the potential link from Kayano to Yanagisawa.”

“I wasn’t trying to betray you guys or anything,” Takebayashi says. “I couldn’t tell Karasuma-sensei about it. Well, I mean I was supposed to, but it seemed… too much.” He sags. “You guys know I left Main Campus in a very, ah, dramatic way. They were out for my blood for weeks.”

“Oh yeah! That was kinda cool!" Kurahashi chirps. "Uh… no offence.”

“Well, we were very offended, I assure you,” Anaya huffs. 

Watanabe coughs. “After that disaster, we had the Botashi tournament. I’m not going to go into the inciting incident or whatever happened surrounding it because it’s not our main conversation. We took some pictures of Koro-sensei and that was it.”

“Oh, wait, you got those exchange kids? Did they know about Koro-sensei?”

“No.”

“So they just thought we were really athletic for no reason?”

“Yes.”

“Did Asano seriously call international students for the sole purpose of making Isogai lose his-”

“We are moving on,” Yuna says.

\--

“Can we not discuss this?” The Principal says, arms crossed.

“I won’t comment on it,” Karasuma-sensei says. “But you should continue to think about it.”

\--

“After that, you guys got into your altercation with Reaper,” Watanabe says, and at his name 3-E looks uncomfortable. 

“Yes, Takebayashi told us about that too.”

“We felt bad for you guys,” Saito says. “But we couldn’t, well, do much. But shortly after that was the School Cultural Festival, and we remember how that went down. You guys had your cafe and came in third place. Then we had exams. Nothing else of note happened until Kayano revealed who she was surrounding the whole Koro-sensei debacle and we got a clearer backstory. That’s when-”

+  
Yuna wrenches the microphone from her. “Takebayashi asked her out with signed Haruna Mase merch!”

“Yuna!” Watanabe shrieks.

“Wow, who knew Takebayashi could be such a charmer?”

“Aww, that’s kind of cute.”

“Happy to be of service,” Kayano says.

“That is not the point!” Watanabe wrestles the microphone back, face burning. “That’s when we decided to tell Kayano about us, because…”

“Because Watanabe really wanted to meet her idol.”

“Oh my god! Shut up!”

\--

“Yeah, so, I found out the latest,” Karma says. “But I was the one who approached Main personally because of my suspicions.”

“And then they told me and Kataoka,” Isogai says. “Because we were the class representatives.”

Fuwa squeals. “The uncanny coincidences, the convoluted plot all clicking into place… this is exactly like a manga!”

“It really was much harder to keep secrets then,” Watanabe nods. “The Principal and Karasuma-sensei caught on really quickly after that and we had to come clean.”

“This is honestly all still too surreal…” Sugino slides flat on his back, and blinks up at the ceiling. “I don’t even know what to believe anymore.”

“We tried so hard to keep it a secret for nothing?”

“So the whole of Main was playing us this entire while?!”

“We weren’t playing you,” Watanabe says, crossing her arms. “Don’t make it sound like we had malicious intentions.”

“But you guys knew we were in all this danger and had to much to deal with! And you continued to pick on us?”

“We weren’t supposed to know! If we gave you guys special treatment our cover would have been blown before then. We tried to be less hard on you but we couldn’t-”

“You guys tried to make us fail!”

“It’s an _exam_! And it was our finals! What were you expecting us to do, flunk our own exams so you can easily attain top 50?”

“That’s what you guys ended up doing anyways!”

“You went through so much lengths to get Isogai fired!”

“Guys, I’m over that, really-”

“You shouldn’t have to forgive them! It’s even more despicable since they knew what we were all going through-”

\--

“This is a trainwreck.”

“Let them get it out of their system,” Bitch-sensei tells the three of them.

\--

“It’s not like we rigged your exams to make them harder! We’re doing the same things too!”

“-We treated you guys the same way we always did-”

“-Have you considered that maybe _that’s_ the terrible part?-”

“-you were all just laughing at us, weren’t you-”

Then Asano stalks onto the stage, his heels clicking on the floor. “Be. Quiet.” He does not have a microphone but his voice is loud all the same. 

He stands center-stage, hands behind his back. “3-E, I understand that this is all a lot to take in. I mentioned earlier that our actions towards you as fellow schoolmates were unsatisfactory. I won’t redirect the conversation about the systemic discrimination set in place by the existing flawed administration (the Principal narrows his eyes) or our justifications. Main Campus had our own obstacles to deal with but despite that, we have still treated you unfairly. For that, we will formally apologize.

But like I also addressed, we will not apologize for a certain number of things we have done that might have been considered ‘against you’, or so you put it. Trying to prevent your class from attaining the top 50 spots in examinations or trying to win at fair-playing competitions are _not_ malicious attempts at ensuring your class fails. I hope you do remember that this is still a school where academic and extracurricular achievements are important. We may have been the antagonists to your narrative achievements but we are not competing against your self-imposed expectations. You would hardly go for a track meet and vilify the champion if you came in second place, would you?”

Everyone stays silent.

Then it’s Kayano who speaks up. “As a transfer student to 3-E,” she says, “I was appalled by the reception I received and I’ll say this right now that regardless of whatever justification you and your fellow classmates have, it does not negate the hurt we 3-E have felt as a direct result of your actions. You’re a very tricky one with your words, Asano… and you’re a bully. Sad life, your dad hits you, get As or no dinner blah blah, still a bully. You still hurt us with your words and actions and made us feel terrible about ourselves. I think we can both agree that there needs to be some form of accountability for this. (Asano shrugs as if to say, “that’s fair.”)

As a creative professional who’s well educated on the difference between an antagonist and a villain - as well as being more adjusted to the situation - I believe my classmates would have to ruminate on the situation. Furthermore, I believe this is only the abridged version of events. Isn’t that right, Principal? (The Principal narrows his eyes, again.) We can make a better judgement as we look through the details."

“This has been a productive meeting,” Asano nods. “I think we all need a bit of time to think about this. You’ll have full access to the Board and you can direct any of your questions to Ritsu or one of us.”

\--

“Oh my god!” Yuna leaps into Yuu, who barely manages to dodge before yuna latches onto her arm. “Okano just texted me! She wants to go out for lunch!”

“She probably just wants to ask questions about Main Campus.”

“I mean, yeah! But it’s still going to be nice to talk to her! We haven’t really spoken since last year, you know.”

“That’s nice.”

“You should come too!”

“Oh, I don’t think I should intrude-”

“It’s not just going to be us. Some of the other 3-E girls are coming as well. I need some backup on my side, okay! Come, come, come!”

\--

“You’re stealing my boyfriend.”

Asano’s half-wrapped around Tsubara. “Shut up,” he mumbles.

Sato sits down on Asano’s other side. “Do you want me to hug you too?”

There’s a pause, then, “mhm.”

“Aww. Come here.”

\--

“Are they _really_ helping you take down Shiro’s company?” Nakamura leans forward, eyes narrowed in skepticism.

“So all that weird sudden publicity about Koro-sensei and Shiro was… them?”

“Yeah!” Kayano says. “Well, he’s not bankrupt. His shares are lower than ever, though, which is a good step.”

\--

“This place is honestly really cool,” Kotya says. “Is it weird if I say I actually wouldn’t mind if I’m still in 3-E next year?”

“Probably, yeah.”

“It’s so nice to meet all of you! You’re really cool seniors. I’m from 2-E, you know, you’ve really given us a whole motivational boost with everything you guys have managed to do! Wow, Ishikawa and Miyaza are going to _kill_ me if they find out I’ve come to the 3-E classroom before they did. We’ve been dying to see what this place is like, you know-”

\--

“Hey, so, you guys know that we know already, right?”

“Uh,” Kataoka and Yada exchange looks. “Yes?”

The main campus girls who’ve accosted them on their way up to their classroom exchanges excited looks. 

“That’s awesome!’ Wasai says. “We have a whole list of things we wanted to ask about! Asano says not to bombard you all at once but, you know. First of, your outfits are super cute-”

\--

“Oh, yeah, no, we were absolutely terrified of you all.”

Sugino frowns at Shindo. “Really?”

“Definitely. Especially during the baseball game.” Shindo shivers. “We didn’t know what we were up against. Your teacher is a giant octopus with super speed.”

“We weren’t going to use him to cheat.”

“Of course not! It was just. Jarring. We didn’t know what kind of training you all received or if you would have any different tricks hidden up your sleeves. You know, when you play against a normal team, you know that they’re just normal human students who spend time training and running drills the same way you do. But not for you guys.”

“I... think I get that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought that Gakushuu's apologies were shitty and within the bounds of very-bad-youtube-apology types, you're right. Gakushuu Asano is not a very good person and it already pained him to make those half-ass apologies. I've been rather nice to Main this entire fic, but they still bullied 3-E and made them feel like shit, you know? 3-E gets to be mad.
> 
> Also I wish 3-E got to make more friends.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha did I say I'll reply the comments soon? I lied. Oops. I had plans today that involved real life things, like work and complaining and the supermarket and something about trying to make tea and somehow failing. Safe distancing is important, please wear a mask (in this house we are pro-mask and anti-covid) and have this tiny chapter!

“What the hell is this?!”

Everyone stares curiously into the miscellaneous pile of papers, spilling over the teacher’s desk and onto the floor. Nagisa picks one up and squints at it. “Hey, it has our names on it.”

“Really?” Sugino picks up a folded letter by his feet and glances it through. “Hey, Kurahashi, this one is addressed to you.”

“I believe there’s some addressed to all of us?”

Eagerly they dig through the papers for their names. There are some letters with a collective “to 3-E” as opposed to an individual recipient, which they delicately set aside. 

“Even Ritsu has some.”

“Dear Nakamura,” Nakamura reads out loud, “you don’t know me, but I’m a junior from 1-C. I saw you at the sports festival where you… wait, is this  _ fan mail _ ?”

“Dear Karma-senpai,” Karma reads, deadpan. “You are very scary and also very cute. If you want to-” he pauses, and wrinkles his nose. “Did I just get asked out over letter?”

“Um,” Muramatsu says, looking incredibly perplexed at the pile of letters he’d managed to gather on top of his desk. “Why did we get fan mail?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kayano says. “They like us.”

“There’s one from Asano,” Isogai says. “To 3-E. I’ve taken the liberty of collating the student body’s messages to all of you for your convenience. I don’t suppose you would appreciate interruptions due to the sheer volume of responses should the students deliver their notes in person. Expect more in the coming days. Similarly, any replies you wish to return can be disseminated through me. Your privacy will be respected.”

“Why does he always talk like he eats a thesaurus for breakfast?”

“Knowing Asano, he probably reads encyclopedias as bedtime stories.” 

“This is so surreal,” Maehara says. “I’m not used to-  _ is this an apology letter from Seo?! _ ”

“Oh my god, let me see.”

“Pfttt he sounds like he was being held at gunpoint to write this.”

“Oh my,” Yada says, pursuing her letters. “Did I get invited to a house party?!”

“Oh, Anaya’s, right? I got that invitation too! She goes all out for her birthday bash every year, I went last year and it was insane.”

“Won’t it be weird if we show up?”

“Honestly, I think she was going to invite us anyways. The Kunugigaoka janitors went last year, and there are even people from other schools.”

“This is all so weird,” Okuda says. “I mean, this is really nice! But…”

“They spent all that time laughing at us. It’s so hard to believe they like us? It’s a whole 180.”

“Honestly…” Kanzaki frowns. “I’m not going to lie, this feels like an elaborate prank.”

“They spent a whole year mocking us and now they’re trying to convince us they didn’t mean any of it.”

“It’s  _ wrong. _ I feel like I’m waiting for the punchline to drop.”

“Is this another letter from Asano? Why does he keep writing us these?” 

“What does it say?”

“To 3-E. I believe that you would be second-guessing the intentions of your schoolmates and doubting the sincerity of this whole endeavor right about now-”

“How pretentious.”

“-and I want to assure you that is not the case. Perhaps I should have made it clearer prior but we do not expect ‘forgiveness’ should you feel obligated but unwilling to do so. Main Campus of Kunugigaoka Middle School collectively acknowledges the hurt we have caused you over the past year. Consider this an olive branch and we do hope we can amicably graduate as students of Kunugigaoka.”

“I bet he’d be a terror to play scrabble with.”

“That’s… actually nice of him to say.”

“I mean, he still sucks at apologies, but it’s nice that we don’t immediately have to forgive then.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I can, at least not right now.” Pause. “I would like to go to that bookclub meet they’re having though. They’re going to talk about The Woman in White.”

“They’re asking if I want to come for an art jam session later next week… oh gosh, I haven’t been down to the art club in a while...:”

“Yeah? Some juniors are asking us for recipe recommendations! They said they really liked our cultural festival booth!”

\--

“Ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten ten clubs.”

“Jack of spades.”

“Queen of hearts,” Sato says, and then leans over to give Tsubara a peck on the lips.

Takebayashi stares at his hand. “What the fuck are we playing?” 

\--

“I can assure you that this is as mortifying of an experience for me than it is for you.”

“We-el,” Principal Asano coughs.

Karasuma-sensei places a hand over his mouth, and mumbles something like “I should have just googled it.”

Behind them, Koro-sensei laughs. “You know,” he says, darting between them back and forth and each time materializing with various romance-oriented paraphernalia. “Dear old Koro-sensei could give some advice-”

“Stop talking to us like we’re your students,” the Principal growls, the same time Karasuma-sensei says “you didn’t even manage to get within first base of your only girlfriend,” and Koro-sensei makes an offended noise.

“You know,” the littlest Asano says, (popping out from under the Principal’s desk with a huge stack of papers and a screwdriver,  _ whatever _ he was under there for,) rolling his eyes. “My father is hardly the best person to go to for romantic advice. The last time someone else was in his bed was me, aged 7, after I got a particularly terrifying nightmare about the dead fish I saw at the market.”

The Principal whirls on him. “Okay,  _ listen-” _

“He’s still the only person I know who has been in a relationship,” Karasuma-sensei says awkwardly, and he waves a hand at Koro-sensei to tell him to shut up. Koro-sensei pouts, or at least he pouts as much as an octopus supercreature can pout.

Asano junior wriggles and settles in the Principal’s overly cushy office hair. “Well, you could ask Takebayashi.”

Karasuma-sensei stares at him.

“Okay, I have no experience,” Asano says, (ignoring the Principal’s “you better not have!” and leaning forward on his chair), “but word of advice? Asking someone to move in with you when you’ve barely known them at all is bad. I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“I have to agree,” Principal Asano says. “That’s rather… forward.”

Asano’s flicking through his phone. “You’ll be unknowingly taking advantage of her emotional inexperience and vulnerability in the real world because of her warped past as a child assassin - and a child  _ honeypot _ , which is the fucked up thing. You’ll impose your expectations on her and she’ll readily accept it because of her desperate need for validation and attachment before she even knows what she herself wants,” Asano pauses, and looks up to Karasuma-sensei’s horrified face. 

“According to Watanabe and Kayano, of course. They’re very comprehensive with their notes.” Asano waves a hand. “You’ve probably gone through your fair share of relationships, right? A sort-of girlfriend in high school, a girl from your course in college, someone you met at work. You have normal people experience. Miss Jelavic has been a honeypot since she was a child. She is most likely clueless about healthy relationship expectations or boundaries because the only interaction with men she’s had thus far is predatory men preying on a minor and then her killing them in bed. But I’m not saying that you have those intentions, and she’s a perfectly consenting adult now. But I’d ask you to consider if that’s what you want, because you may be ready for a committed relationship, but is she?”

The three adults stare at him.

“I’m paraphrasing,” Asano says, waving his phone in their faces. It’s open to a chat with Kayano, who’s written about an essay and a half and is still typing.

“She feels very strongly about existential crises and loss of identity because of trauma.”

\--

“Yanagisawa’s shares are dangerously low,” Ritsu says gleefully. “He just sold a car.”

“Has there been an official statement yet?”

“No, unfortunately. No confirmation, and since his human experiments were technically government approved, it’s all being covered up.” Ritsu sighs. “The hype is dying down. Nobody is making any more new content about it, and existing media is getting less views.”

Kayano pouts. “Is there anything we can do?”

Ritsu shakes her head. “Not unless you want to get in trouble with Karasuma-sensei. I can’t claim plausible deniability anymore.” She raises a hand, where there’s a comically large ball and chain tied to it.

“I think we did pretty good, all things considered,” Anaya says.

“Yeah!” Watanabe claps. “Sad we couldn’t drive him to  _ total _ bankruptcy.”

“Yeah. Yeah! This is already amazing,” Kayano says. “Thank you guys. This means a lot to me. My parents’ company was originally going to have a merger - that’s why Aguri was supposed to marry him. Old fashioned, I know. But they’re going to cut all ties with him because of all the drama. I can’t wait to never see him again.”

“Yeah, I’m so sick of problematic adults,” Watanbe sighs. “You guys have met so many.”

“Some of them weren’t so bad,” Kayano says. “Bitch-sensei turned out to be okay - after a few hiccups. And we met Koro-sensei and Karasuma-sensei, too, and they’re great.

I’ll be happy to never see anyone else again, though.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since we are doing callouts this entire fic @Karasuma for being a rock the entire series and dropping the bomb with 0 lead up. Not cool. As a female I rate it only 1/10. Would Not Move In With.   
> Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Karairi. I don't write a lot about them but they're THE ship. They just appear as the background canon Yes This Exists Of Course It Does Because I Love Them ship in most of my fics. (Except for The One, you know what The One is. ;) 
> 
> I know I said my chapters would be long (haha oops) and this one was comparatively, not. The last few updates were in the 5k word range and this is 1.5, I think.   
> But! That's because I actually have a plan for the next chapter and I don't want to fit it with this one. Wow look at me, planning. A plot! Kudos if you can guess what it is. I think I made the tiniest possible hint about it in chapter 35. And maybe a little more in this chapter. You know. Just a bit.  
> You guys can do it! You know what it is. You know what will happen. I know you do.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "when will this fic end" it will, it will. Soon, I promise. Here is a tiny change of pace!

“You know, on hindsight, we should have probably seen this coming.”

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?”

“No. Fuck you.”

\--

“What do you mean my son is missing?”

Sakakibara shifts uncomfortably. “Uhh… he didn’t come in today? We thought he was sick or-”

“He’s not,” Principal Asano frowns. “He left the house on time today.”

“Oh.” 

There’s a pause between them.

“Asano would never skip school,” Sakakibara says. 

“Of course he wouldn’t,” The Principal says, frowning. He pivots on his heel and pulls out his phone, most likely to call Asano, and a very confused Sakakibara runs back to 3-A.

\--

“You look different in person.”

“Watanabe.”

“What? He looks different in person. You’re nothing like how Kotarou described. Wait, are you in a different disguise? Is that it?”

The man staring at them raises a hand, and Watanbe squeaks before burying her face deeper into Asano’s shoulder. On his other side is Anaya, her nails digging into Asano’s biceps. 

The three of them are backed against the far end of the wall in a large cage.

The rest of the room is… strange. Unorthodox. Instead of a large empty warehouse (as one would expect activities of this kind to take place in), it looks to be an office space of some sort. Many many desks with dividers, office chairs, empty desktops.

“Ah, Takebayashi,” says Reaper 2.0, smiling at them. “The one with glasses. You’re his girlfriend.”

“Have you been spying on us?”

Reaper hums. “You’re all smart students from Main Campus, aren’t you? You’ve figured out so much.”

Asano’s eyes widen. “You hacked into Ritsu once.”

“Bingo!” Reaper laughs, and leans against the cage. “I like you, kid.”

“Why did you kidnap us?!” Anaya says. “We haven’t done anything to you! We’re just kids!”

“Is it a money thing? Do you want money?” Watanabe says warily. “My family doesn’t have any money. I’m not a rich kid.”

“My family has money!” Anaya says. “Do you want ransom? Is that it? A million? Two?”

Reaper rolls his eyes lazily, looking amused. “I’m just a hand for hire. I don’t question my employer’s motivations.”

Asano narrows his eyes. “Who-”

The door at the far end of the room bursts open. 

“Yanagisawa?!”

\--

“Anaya’s not here today, too.”

“There’s no way they skipped school together, right?”

“Definitely not.”

“I don’t get it. What’s wrong?”

“Normally nothing would be, but see, Asano’s not here. And his dad says he’s supposed to be.”

“Now that’s a little weird.”

“Maybe Anaya’s just absent today because of a coincidence.”

“She’s not picking up her phone, though.”

“Neither is Asano.”

“Uh, okay, guys? The office called Anaya’s place to confirm her absence, but she definitely left for school this morning. This might be serious.”

“Are we just being paranoid because of the whole assassin thing? We are, right? There’s no way something bad happened to them.”

\--

“You three,” he says. Yanagisawa is in a lab coat, he looks greasier than ever, and he has a robotic eye for some reason. The bag he is carrying clinks ominously, and he tosses it over onto a chair. “Ruined. My. Work!”

“Doctor Yanagisawa, you have us mistaken,” Asano tries, (and Reaper laughs, looking incredibly entertained.) 

“Silence!” Yanagisawa slams the bars. The three startle, but there’s no space to run to. 

“W-what are you going to do to us?”

“Well,” Yanagisawa sneers, “since you all have so much to say about my  _ human experimentation _ …”

Asano quickly steps forward and pushes the girls behind him. “Doctor, maybe-”

“I said SILENCE!” He unzips the bag he’s brought and pulls out a long scalpel like device, and the three startle. 

“You are all terrible insufferable children and you will  _ regret _ everything you’ve done,” he hisses, but then tosses the scalpel aside. “I wouldn’t bother trying to call for help. The little AI friend of yours is compromised, and this entire room has a signal jam.”

Reaper blinks, resting a hand on his cheek. “Are you going to torture them now?”

“Not yet,” Yanagisawa sniffs. “I have preparations to make.”

“Hm,” Reaper says. “That’s boring. Call me when you start, then.” With that he stretches and ambles out, humming.

“That guy’s so creepy,” Anaya whispers.

“Creepy?” Yanagisawa scoffs. “He’s my prized creation!”

“...Creation?” Asano mutters to himself.

“Not to worry,” Yanagisawa says. “You three will be, too.” And with that terrifying statement he slinks out of the room, most likely to carry out his aforementioned ‘preparations’. 

\--

“Okay, Watanabe’s missing too, and her parents said she left for school today. This is getting worrying.”

“Apparently Ritsu can’t find them either. That’s bad.”

“Can’t she GPS track them using their phones or whatever?”

“That’s the thing, they’re not showing up. Wherever they are, there isn’t a signal.”

\--

“And I thought we got off lucky because our phones are still on us,” Anaya whimpers.

“Wait, phones,” Asano says. He pats his pockets, then frowns. “Who has the smallest sized phone here?”

“Uh,” Watanabe pulls hers out. “Me, I guess? But why-”

Asano swipes it from her and quickly taps on it. Then he goes to the front of the cage, aims, and tosses the phone into Yanagisawa’s bag.

“Hey!”

“Shh!” Asano goes back to them. “Sorry, I had to do it quick.”

“My phone!”

“I know, but if things go to plan, you should get it back.”

“What?”

Asano’s voice drops to a whisper. “I typed out a lot of messages on as many of your apps as possible and readied them to send.”

“They won’t send, though.”

“Not in this room. But if Yanagisawa comes back to the bag, he might bring it outside where your phone gets a signal and everything sends out.”

“That’s brilliant!”

\--

“I see why someone might kidnap Asano. He has money.”

“Anaya, too. But Watanabe?”

“Is this the time to be discussing about this?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know!”

“What motives could someone have for getting all three of them?”

“Kunugigaoka students. A vendetta against the Principal?”

“Kidnapping Asano would be enough, then…”

“A vendetta against the school name in general?”

“Wait, do you guys think it’s about,” (whisper), “the Koro-sensei thing?”

“But… not saying i want it to happen! But wouldn’t the more obvious choice be… the 3-E kids?”

“Yeah, but they’re trained, right? And they carry guns and knives everywhere.”

“But who would find out?”

“If the whole school managed to find out… who else do you think knows?”

\--

_ “What the hell are you doing?!” _

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know! Why the fuck are you stripping?!”

“Come on, you’ve seen boobs before,” Anaya snorts. She finally unbuttons her uniform shirt and tosses it behind her. She keeps her bra on.

Asano’s crouched over and tactfully looking out into the office, resolutely not turning around. “No, I have not. Is there a reason for this?”

“Yeah. I’m a minor, so if either Reaper or Yanagisawa comes in, they’re looking at child porn. Which is illegal. So they’ll leave to avoid being implicated.”

“Nothing about this is legal!” Asano hisses. “Reaper is a serial killer! Yanagisawa kidnapped us! I doubt they won’t murder you because you don’t have a shirt on!”

“Wait,” Watanabe says. “Have you never seen boobs before? Even Kotarou has-”

“I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“What, you don’t watch porn?” Anaya teases. “You must have gotten a bit curious at least once, right? You’re a teenage boy.”

“I’m not searching for porn in my father’s house,” Asano hisses. He may not be facing them, but the back of his neck is red. 

“Aw, come on,” Watanabe says. “I mean, he’s an adult man, and he’s single! I’m sure he-”

“Please do not finish that sentence.” Asano claps his hands over his ears. “I had to search up birth control once for an assignment and he sat me down to give me the  _ talk _ .”

Anaya giggles. “Who knew Asano senior is such a concerned parent? You know, he’s actually kind of a dilf-”

\--

“I did a cursory search of the entire neighborhood and I didn’t find a single trace of them.”

“None of the CCTVs on their normal school routes are showing up anything either!” Ritsu says.

“This is ridiculous,” The Principal says, pacing. “They couldn’t have just vanished into thin air. They couldn’t.”

“Of course not,” Karasuma-sensei says. “Do you make any enemies that might want to hurt your son?”

“What the fu- what kind of question is that?!”

“Have you gotten any ransom notifications?”

“No.”

Bitch-sensei strolls in. “According to my contacts, no one has put out any requests or quotes for the three of them.”

Karasuma-sensei frowns. “Do you know anyone who might want to hurt them?”

“Other than the usual suspects, no.”

“What? Who are the usual suspects?” The Principal demands.

“Oh, you know,” she waves a hand. “We made tons of enemies through the year. That creepy PE teacher from Okinawa Islands. Shiro himself, obviously, and the octopus’ little apprentice. You know, the usual.”

\--

“I never want to speak to the both of you again.”

“-But like objectively,” Watanabe says, “like  _ objectively _ , you have to agree he’s hot-”

The door opens. It’s Yanagisawa, grumbling to himself, and he stops short at the sight of the three of them. “...Where is your shirt?”

And then Anaya lets out an unnecessary, ear piercing screech. If Asano’s hands weren’t already covering his ears, they would be. 

“EW! GROSS! YOU’RE A PERVERT! LOOKING AT A MINOR!”

“What the- you’re the one who-”

“AHHH! YOU’RE STILL LOOKING! YOU’RE DISGUSTING!”

Watanabe joins in. “OH GOD! EW! PEDOPHILE!”

“I’m NOT- WHAT ARE YOU THREE PLAYING AT-”

Asano weighs his options and jumps to his feet. “YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! HOW DARE YOU!”

“ALL THREE OF YOU ARE INSANE!” Yanagisawa shrieks. He swipes his scalpel off the floor and tosses it into his bag, quickly zips it up, and rushes off.

There’s a pause.

“He didn’t even check his bag,” Watanabe says. 

“Did…” Anaya gasps, “did that actually work?”

“Looks like it did,” Asano coughs. “Can you  _ please _ put a shirt on now?”

\--

“Hold on.”

“What?” Principal Asano scowls as he looks over Koro-sensei’s shoulder. 

“I was the one that reviewed Ritsu’s programming,” he says. “There’s a few lines of code that aren’t supposed to be here. It was hidden so carefully I almost missed it.”

“What do they do?” The Principal says. Both he and Koro-sensei scrutinize the code.

“It directs Ritsu’s data to an external server,” Koro-sensei says.

“And then forces her to omit that from her activity logs, so she essentially forgets it,” the Principal finishes.

Bitch-sensei looks up. “Didn’t your apprentice hack Ritsu? Isn’t he supposed to be in government custody?”

“He’s  _ supposed _ to be,” Karasuma-sensei shakes his head. “I handed him over, but I’m not updated on his whereabouts.”

“No,” Koro-sensei says. “I trained him personally. He’s too good. A normal cell would not hold him.”

“Karasuma, get the ministry of defense on the line and tell me where Reaper is, now!”

\--

“You’ve seriously never been on a rollercoaster before?”

“I’m afraid of heights, okay?”

“But how will you know if you don’t try?”

“I won’t punish myself for an experience I know I’ll dislike just for fear of missing out! Why won’t you try parasailing?”

“I- okay, fine. Fine. Fine! Let’s just-”

“You three seem cozy.”

“Holy shit!” Anaya startles, the back of her leg hitting the wall. “Did you just appear out of thin air?”

“Creepy!” Watanabe curses. 

“Oh, hey,” Asano says. “Are we going to get tortured yet?”

“Nah,” Reaper says, staring down at them. “That's not my job. You are looking relaxed.”

“There’s nothing else to do,” Asano shrugs. “It’s not like we can escape, or anything.”

Reaper claps his hands, grinning. “Smart! I’m pleasantly surprised!”

“We’re not assassin trainees,” Anaya says. “We know our strengths and weaknesses.”

“An important skill,” Reaper nods. “And I suppose you are just biding your time until your classmates realize you are missing and frantically try to find you.”

“Yep,” Watanabe says. “We’re playing ‘Never have I ever’. Do you want to play?”

Reaper sits cross-legged across them. “Why not.”

“We’ll restart. 10 points,” Anaya says. “Never have I ever held a gun.”

“Oh, so we’re playing it like that,” Reaper says. He, Asano, and Watanabe put down a finger.

“I go to shooting ranges sometimes,” Asano says.

“Kotarou let me hold his gun once,” Watanabe says. “That counts, right?”

“Yep,” Asano says. “Never have I ever… watched porn.”

“Oh, come on!” 

“Booo.” 

“Seriously?” From Reaper.

“Oh, you know my dad,” Asano says. He pauses, stares at Reaper. “You know my dad?”

“Yes,” Reaper says, smiling.

“Wow. That’s terrifying.”

Anaya, Watanabe and Reaper put a finger down.

“Your turn, assassin-man.”

“Never have I ever been a student at Kunugigaoka Middle School.”

“Aw, man! That’s no fair.”

Rolling her eyes, Watanabe puts a finger down, and kicks Asano in the thigh. “Never have I ever… dyed my hair.”

“Ugh,” Anaya says, and puts a finger down.

“Ugh,” Reaper says, and puts a finger down.

“Hah,” Asano says, and leans over to give Watanabe a hi-five.

\--

“I don’t understand,” Principal Asano is pacing. “How could he have gotten kidnapped? I taught him about stranger danger. Have I taught him about stranger danger? Oh, no, I haven’t. I should have. I-”

“Reaper has a special skillset,” Bitch-sensei says. “He could be a passer-by, a friendly shopkeeper, a lost tourist asking for directions. He could shoot you point blank and you’d wonder where the sniper was because he has such an unassuming demeanor.”

“She’s right,” Koro-sensei says. “My apprentice is particularly skilled in disguise. I hear from my students that they were unafraid of him even as he stood in front of their classroom describing all the ways he could kill Irina.”

“We’ll find the students,” Karasuma-sensei says. “My team is working right now to-”

“-is so grounded when he gets home. A curfew. I should give him a curfew-”

\--

“How could you never have watched a single Haruna Mase film! Not even one?!” Watanabe looks aghast. “Anaya, how could you?!”

“Her genre of films just isn’t my thing!” Anaya defends. 

“Whatever. You’re dead to me,” Watanabe says. “Asano! Which one was your favorite?”

“Um,” Asano shrugs. “I don’t know. I was curious, but I didn’t watch a lot of it. I had homework to do.”

“Ugh, okay. How come you’ve watched Haruna Mase?”

“I studied her filmography as research,” Reaper says. “You have to understand your targets regardless of who they are.”

“Oh, which one was your favorite?”

“I was particularly fond of her role as an aspiring pianist.”

“Her playing as Suzuki Hiramoto in Featherlight! I loved that! I begged my mom for piano lessons after I watched it!”

“Can you play the piano?” Asano asks, curious.

“Yes. Not wonderfully, I can.”

“Hmm, alright. Never have I ever kissed someone”.”

“Oh my god! You’re boring, we know! Stop that!”

Reaper hums. “Never have I ever had a pet.”

“That’s sad,” Watanabe says. “Never have I ever had a rich dad.”

“I feel oddly targeted for some reason,” Asano says.

“Excuse you,” Anaya says.

“She said dad, not parent,” Asano says.

“Oh, me too,” Reaper says. 

“I feel like we’re gradually unlocking your sad backstory,” Watanabe says to him.

“We’ve definitely gone over 10 points,” Anaya says. “Never have I ever been on a bike.”

“Are you being serious right now?”

\--

“I got a text!” Principal Asano says. “Whose number is this?”

“Where, let me see!” Koro-sensei says.

Bitch-sensei looks up from her phone. “Takebayashi said he’d just gotten a notification from Watanabe?”

“I traced the message!” RItsu says. “I’ve sent you the coordinates.”

Karasuma-sensei is already on his feet. “Irina, Octopus, let’s go.”

The Principal startles. “Wait-”

“You’re a civilian. Sit your ass back down.”

\--

“So what’s it like being a… you know.”

“A blonde?”

“Yeah. Do you actually use purple shampoo?”

Asano sighs. “I do.”

“Do you actually-”

Reaper abruptly stands up. He shoots a sharp glare at the three kids, who quickly shut up and brace themselves against the wall again. Then he smiles, all sharp teeth, and says, “I guess you three are really smarter than I gave you credit for,” and the door explodes inwards.

\--

And with a running leap Reaper launches himself straight through the wall into the open air outside the building, and he plummets several floors. Very quickly Koro-sensei rushes after him.

Bitch-sensei lowers her gun, looking slightly disappointed that there wasn’t a shootout, but Karasuma-sensei looks relieved. “Kids, you alright?”

“H-he just jumped  _ through _ the wall!”

Bitch-sensei busies herself with picking the lock. Then Koro-sensei slides back in through the hole in the wall, sans Reaper, looking almost sheepish. “I lost him.”

“You let him  _ escape _ ?”

“No!” Koro-sensei shakes his large yellow head. “He’s Mach 20. I would have caught him if he wasn’t, but he has the ability to move super speed. I-”

“Aha!” Bitch-sensei excricates the lock. The three immediately clamber out.

“It’s not just him, he’s working with Yanagisawa,” Anaya says. 

“Yanagisawa captured us because he’s a salty bitch that we trashed his company,” Watanabe quickly adds on. “But he said he was going to experiment on us!”

Asano’s eyes widen. “If they are in collaboration, that explains Reaper’s superspeed. Earlier today Yanagisawa referred to Reaper as his  _ creation _ .”

“It’s probably their last stand at taking me out,” Koro-sensei says. “My apprentice is going to become an antimatter creature.”

Karasuma-sensei frowns. “He looked human.”

“I looked human for the most part of the experiments until the very end.”

“How did you find us?” Asano asks.

“We traced a signal that was sent from Watanabe’s phone,” Karasuma-sensei says.

Watanabe gasps. “My phone! Where is it?”

“It was headed downtown but disappeared,” Bitch-sensei says. “Someone likely destroyed it.”

“Oh no,” Watanabe sags. 

Asano pats her shoulder. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

Karasuma-sensei frowns. “Your parents have been notified that you are safe and sound.”

Watanabe claps her hand over her mouth. “You called our parents?”

“Of course!” Koro-sensei says. “You got kidnapped!”

“Because of the situation, you have the option of full disclosure to your families… although they will be under the non-disclosure agreement that you all are under, too.”

Watanabe frowns. “That's a huge burden. What if we don’t?”

“Then we’ll reframe the kidnapping. Anaya and Asano are prominent targets for monetary gain. Watanabe just happened to be with them, so they took you too.”

Watanabe and Anaya stare at each other.

“You can think it over,” Karasuma-sensei says. “On the way to the hospital.”

“Hospital? Reaper and Yanagisawa didn’t actually do anything to us.”

“A consultation is still necessary.”

\--

“Kanako! My baby!”

“Mama!” Anaya leaps into her arms. 

“Papa is on his way back now, he’s catching the next flight-”

“There’s no need, I’m fine! He’s in the middle of his important deal-”

“Nonsense, you’re our baby girl! Nothing is more important.”

“Ai, oh darling, what did they do to you?” 

“Mom, Dad, I’m okay.”

“When the office called and said you were absent we got so worried!”

“We don’t know what we would have done if they didn’t find you!”

Sitting on the bed adjacent, the Asanos watch the reunions with matching impassive looks on their faces. The smaller one turns to the bigger one. “Why can’t you love me like that?”

Principal Asano cuffs his son on the head. “I was worried enough.”

“Can’t you say I’m the light of your life and that you’ll cry if something happened to me?”

“I’ll cry at your funeral.”

(Karasuma-sensei, standing next to Bitch-sensei, crosses his arms and sighs. 

“They talk so much shit for two people who are clinging to each other tighter than that octopus holds onto his food.”

Bitch-sensei rolls her eyes. “Let them have it.”) 

\--

“So Reaper and Shiro are back and out for vengeance,” Koro-sensei says. “And now we know that Reaper is enhanced. I’m guessing he escaped because he’s not far enough in his antimatter development to fully take me on. From his abilities, it seems like he has passed the point of needing maintenance to develop his tentacles.”

Nakamura frowns. “He’s not going to kidnap anyone again, right?”

“No, there’s no point in that,” Koro-sensei shakes his head. “He doesn’t have any incentive to. The first kidnapping was to lure me out and put me at a disadvantage, but we are on an equal playing field now. The kidnapping this time was because of Shiro.”

“Then what if Shiro contacts him again?!” 

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Karasuma-sensei says. “We already have him in custody. While his science was under the table, kidnapping is definitely illegal.”

“Yes, say thank you to your amazing teacher Irina Jelavic!” Bitch-sensei flounces, tossing her hair over her shoulder.. “Being cooped up in this dry classroom all day is just a waste of my assassin skills, you know! What will you all ever do without me?”

“Well, he was my sister’s fiance after all,” Kayano wonders. “And you and my sister have something in common.”

Bitch-sensei wrinkles her nose. “We’re your teacher?”

“Big boobs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot take: Reaper 2.0 and Gakushuu would get along. Their supposed main father figure/role model did not do them too well when they were children, both perfectionists and dramatic af to a tee, tried to murder aforementioned guardian at least once (ideological murder counts).
> 
> Consider this: Reaper 2.0, teen assassin, not quite unhinged enough to give it all up and cut off his face, probably in that nice prime vulnerable emotional state where he wants affection and validation. Comes to Japan for a job and picks up a tiny kid who, fresh off the memory of losing an older brother figure also with light hair, is incapable of shutting the fuck up, and ever more impressed by how Cool Stranger knows the curse words to so many languages.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire fic will end in the next chapter or so help me I will just lose my mind
> 
> Aww guys, thank you for checking up on me. I'm fine <3 I think. I have been less active recently because of work and school is starting soon so I was trying to figure out what was going on. You know, fun stuff. I'm so glad I didn't make the purchase of one of those 2020 planners at the beginning of the year. I wanted to desperately to unlock the hidden productive potential within my heart but I decided to save 20 bucks.
> 
> AND I do have some stuff lined up! I did sign up to participate in the assclass big bang and... well... let's just say we'll see that soon. I also got whacked over the head with the inspiration bat (unrelated idea) but I can't guarantee that anything would even make it out of the draft room. You know, when you get one of those Stupid Ideas and it goes from "kinda cool concept" to "I'm 5k words deep and I know I'm going to double it before it begins to make a semblance of sense". (omg gwen make up your mind) i Cannot.

**[T - five days]**

“We have only a bit of time left till you are supposed to kill your teacher.”

“Yeah.” Takebayashi sighs, looking out the window.

Watanabe rests her hand on her cheek. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if we’d be able to do it,” Takebayashi admits. “Koro-sensei was… to all of us, he was more than a teacher. We should kill him, because… well, of everything. But I don’t know if any of us would be able to do it.”

“And now we’ll have to worry about Reaper making his appearance before the week is up.”

“Speaking of…”

“I’m fine,” Watanabe says. “He wasn’t that scary.”

“Uh huh.”

“I mean, you were right. He was just… a dude. It was so hard to imagine that he’s a killer. I guess that’s the reason why he’s so good at what he does-”

“What the hell is that?!”

“What’s in the sky?!”

“Huh?” Around them, people are exploding out of their seats, running out of the cafe, pressing themselves up against the window. Watanabe and Takebayashi turn to look, and there is a large red dome stretching towards the sky, and it seems to be in the direction of-

“That’s where Kunugigaoka is,” Watanabe says. 

The mention of anything strange and their thoughts immediately default towards Koro-sensei and the happenings around Kunugigaoka Middle School. 

Takebayashi pulls out his phone. “Ritsu?” He hisses.

Ritsu appears. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I can’t tell you what it is now.”

“So you do know what it is,” Watanabe says. “The government’s doing?”

Ritsu’s avatar nods her head sadly. “I need to get the clear-all from Karasuma-sensei, and he’s waiting for direction from his superiors.”

\--

**[Immediately after]**

“-Tadaomi, I swear to god-”

The youngest Asano winces, from where he’s crouched behind a kitchen counter. 

“I didn’t know your dad was on a first name basis with Karasuma-sensei,” Sakakibara says, from where he’s crouched next to him.

“Neither did I.” Asano unties the apron, signals for Sakakibara to get to a crawl, and they go around the kitchen island and creep into the hallway, out of sight from the Principal. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Where are we going?”

“Down to Kunugigaoka, where else?”

“Wait!” Ritsu’s tinny voice sounds out from his phone. “You’re not allowed!”

“Well, if you’re not going to tell us anything, then we have to find out for ourselves.”

“You can’t go there!”

“You can’t stop me.”

“I’ll send the Principal a text!”

Asano glares at his phone screen, where Ritsu has her hand on her hips and is glaring back. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

Asano ignores Ritsu’s indignant “hey!” as he puts her back into his pocket, and turns to Sakakibara. “Come on. We can make a break for it before my father stops yelling at Karasuma-sensei long enough to check his phone.”

\--

**[Fifteen minutes later]**

“This is turning out to be an eventful reunion,” Akabane says, as he joins the class dragging Asano and Sakakibara behind him. “Look who I found making out behind the dumpster.”

“Could you be any less vulgar,” Asano sighs, the same time Sakakibara blushes and splutters and says something about tripping over a soda can in ridiculous positions, and Nakamura says with a faux-scandalized, “Is Asano cheating on you, Karma?” and Karma flips her the bird.

“What’s the plan?” Asano says.

“We’re going to look for Karasuma-sensei,” Isogai says. “From what we can gather, Koro-sensei is trapped in that force field right now. There’s a government base surrounding the base of the mountain, we think they will let us in-”

“THAT’S THEM! THAT’S THE KUNUGIGAOKA STUDENTS!”

Everyone whirls around. An entire mass of microphones and flashing cameras are currently rushing towards them.

Asano whips around. “Go, quickly.”

“Wh-”

“Please,” Asano says. “Handling the press is my part-time job.”

And then for no real reason other than the fact that he’s a drama queen, Asano flicks his wrist, takes a step forward, and screams “HEY!” in his loudest volume possible.

3-E jumps. The immediate front row of reporters stumble in their tracks, and behind them everyone trips and falls over.

“Isn’t a part-time job against the school rules?”

“Can you all leave already?”

\--

**[The same time, a Zoom call]**

“Everyone is saying Koro-sensei is a monster,” Sato says. “We know that’s not true. He was an amazing teacher, and for a lot of the 3-E students, he was one of the first adults they could trust.”

“Why would they say that?” Tanaka says. 

“Because they’re going to kill him,” Yuna says. 

“If it came out that Koro-sensei changed so many lives for the better, the public backlash for Koro-sensei’s execution would be unimaginable,” Yuu says. “It’s in the governments’ favors to portray him as a heartless monster than as a benevolent human.”

“He’s still a serial killer, isn’t he? He would have had to die regardless.”

“He’s a killer shaped by the circumstances, and his tragic backstory inspires sympathy.”

“Look at how many people want to fuck Ted Bundy.”

“Painting Koro-sensei as a two dimensional character, a villain, works the best with the narrative they are trying to push. Look at how 3-E empathizes with Koro-sensei. They won’t be able to kill him.”

“Besides, if truth comes out that he was originally a human, then more questions will be asked about how he got to this stage. And he’s a superpowered creature as well.”

“Who knows how many power-crazed nutjobs would attempt that.”

“Yanagisawa may be behind bars now, but there were dozens of scientists behind the research. Who knows what can be done to replicate it with the right price?”

“Speaking of criminal activity, he was a serial killer? Thousands of people  _ died _ . And the governments somehow let that sort of power fall into his hands!”

“Yeah! I think we underestimate how lucky we are everyday to have him be benevolent.”

“Imagine the kind of unrest it would cause when people realize that not only was he not imprisoned for life where he honestly should be - and even executed, honestly, they went and made him a lab rat!”

“I didn’t even think about that? I… suddenly trust the justice system even less than I did before.”

“It’d be public knowledge that the UN condones human experimentation.”

“Is it dramatic to say that society as a whole would collapse?”

“Hey guys?”

"I think that-”

“-guys?”

“What?”

“Asano and Sakakibara are on the news?”

“What?”

\--

**[Twenty minutes after that]**

“Hey- let go- where are you taking them- where are you taking me?!”

Watanabe is being forcibly escorted through a government base. 

“You’re not even part of the group, kid,” says Man in Black one.

“B-but!” Watanabe splutters. “I’m from Kunugigaoka too!”

“You’re not from that class,” Man in Black two says. 

“I’m the girlfriend of one of them!”

The Men in Black share an amused look. “This isn’t a conjugal visit, kid.”

They dumb her into a conference room with a clipped “wait here” and lock the door.

“Sheesh,” Watanabe says. “Manners!” She flops down on one of the chairs and stares at the wall. Then takes out her brand new phone and takes a selfie. “Stuck. In. A. Government. Base. Very. Boring… and… post.”

The door opens abruptly, and she fumbles with her phone in an attempt to hide it.

And then Asano and Sakakibara are shoved in.

“Oh hey, guys,” she says, waving. “Got stuck here too?”

“Oh, hi,” Sakakibara says. 

“They took 3-E elsewhere, wouldn’t let me follow. Wanna take a selfie?”

They take a selfie. 

“Stuck. Together. With. My. Friends. On. A. Government. Base. Less. Boring. I’ll tag you guys… and… post! Ooh, likes are coming in already.”

“Really?” Sakakibara sounds delighted. “Let’s take one for my account, too.”

And then the room door bursts open again. It’s Karasuma-sensei, a phone to his ear, looking incredibly irate. They catch the tail end of a sentence “-then you talk to him!” And the phone is shoved in Asano’s hands.

Asano gingerly raises it to his ear. “...Hi Principal.”

Watanabe and Sakakibara throw up twin peace signs, with Karasuma-sensei glaring and Asano mid-gesture in the background of their photo. 

“You’re not allowed to post that,” Karasuma-sensei says.

Sakakibara fiddles with his phone as he finishes typing the caption, loads it, posts, and then says, “oops.”

Karasuma-sensei sighs. “Give me my phone.”

Asano holds a finger up. “Your best friend wants to talk to you. Can I pass him the phone or are you going to keep- no, I- I’m not being-”

Karasuma-sensei swipes the phone from him. “ _ Shut up, Gakuhou _ ,” he says emphatically, and the three kids giggle. 

Karasuma-sensei shoots them a long-suffering look and shuts the door.

\--

**[One hour later]**

“-Irresponsible journalism,” the news playback of Asano’s pissed off face is playing. “The 3-E students in  _ middle school _ , I might add, are innocent minors in this situation. There has been no official statement and you’ve already doxxed them on national television-”

“This is my wallpaper,” Anaya says. “This face he’s making. It’s my wallpaper now.”

“I never noticed,” Yuna says. “Sakakibara is just that slightly taller than Asano. Have you noticed?”

“-and what do you think the public will say when they know their trusted news source is nothing more than conspiracy theories and speculations from anonymous users on the internet? Are you from gossip tabloids?-””

\--

**[Thirty seven and a half minutes later]**

“Gakushuu Asano,” the Principal says, “I am  _ furious _ .”

“With how much more often you’re full-naming me I have to say it’s steadily losing its dramatic edge,” Asano muses.

“Don’t start,” Karasuma-sensei says, exasperated. “All four of you need to leave.”

“Wait!” Watanabe says. “What about 3-E?”

“What about them?” Karasuma-sensei says. He turns on his heel and stalks off.

\--

**[Seventeen minutes after that]**

“Oh no, where’s Jin?” Asano says in dismay.

Watanabe leans towards Sakakibara. “Who’s Jin?”

Sakakibara leans back. “Their driver.”

“Oooh.”

“He’s busy,” Principal Asano says snippily.

“Why?” Principal Junior looks dismayed. “Call him back. Tell him to be less busy. I don’t want to ride with you. You drive like a crazy person.”

“What’s wrong with his driving?” Sakakibara asks.

“You know how he’s a perfectionist, hates it when things doesn’t go his way, and everyone else on the road are idiots,” Asano whines. “He gets such bad road rage. It’s not even funny, it’s just sad-”

“Just get in the car.”

\--

**[An undetermined amount of minutes]**

“First. Time. Hearing. Principal. Curse. Post.”

“Father, shut up. Kunugigaoka is practically a tourist attraction now. I don’t know why you drove here. 

“What is the point of buying this building if I can’t even get around in it!”

“Oh my god.”

\--

**[More minutes since the last time]**

“Talking. About. World. Domination… Gakushuu. Asano’s. Secret. Superpower. Is. Calming. His. Dad. Down… Kind. Of. Weird. But. Kind. Of. Cute. Family. Bonding….”

“Can we roll the window down for five seconds? We can’t get good picture lighting with the tint.”

\--

**[Even more undetermined amount of minutes (maybe hours)]**

“Is everyone going to be at Anaya’s house tomorrow?” They  _ finally _ make it down the street. 

“Yep,” Watanabe says. “We're going to watch the news together and maybe eat junk food. You sure you don’t want to come, Asano?”

“No,” Asano says. “I’ll stay and write press statements. Or something.”

Watanabe and Sakakibara hop out of the car and wave. Asano waves back, then settles in and turns to the Principal. “How are your publicity administrations going?”

Principal Asano hands a tablet over to him (he’d distracted himself with it whilst stuck in a traffic jam). “Read this over.”

Asano skims the page. “Are you going to wait for a statement from Karasuma-sensei?”

“He’ll take too long,” the Principal grumbles. “No. This email is going to just the staff and parents of your classmates. We’ll wait for the military sign-off before I address the press.”

“I’m adding a section as the student body representative.”

“Fine.”

\--

**[The next morning]**

“3-E is being detained?”

“Because they have a personal stake in this, I’m guessing.”

“That they don’t want 3-E to run amok and start yelling good things about Koro-sensei to contradict the claims of the press and thus undermining the media and the government’s stance on the situation?”

“Well… yeah.”

“That, and what if 3-E tries to break through the force field to save Koro-sensei? Because that’s like totally a thing they would do.”

“I mean, it’s just an antimatter force field. People can walk through it.”

“Can they?”

“I think so? I don’t know, I’m not an antimatter scientist.”

“You can probably walk past the antimatter field and survive, only to be killed by the many armed guards surrounding the place.”

“I hope 3-E doesn’t do anything stupid. Like, they’re not dumb… but they are, you know?”

“Hehe, imagine us saying these words a year ago.”

“Sacrilegious!”

\--

**[The same day, later]**

“So we’re not allowed to say anything about Koro-sensei, because that violates our NDA.”

“That leaves us out of a lot of options.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s funny. Why are we helping 3-E? Not that I don’t want to help them, but why?”

“Obligation?”

“I think it’s more of a see it to the end kind of thing for me. Like I’ve invested so much into this saga this whole while, I really do want to stick it all the way to the end.”

“Be on the right side of history.”

“There’s also this whole community aspect of it. Everyone is helping 3-E… I want to help 3-E. It feels… whole.”

“3-E is Kunugigaoka. They’re with us.”

“I mean… if we’re going to go down with the ship…”

“3-E are nice people. I guess I don’t have anything against Koro-sensei.”

“I mean, sure, he was a serial killer. And I want him to die! But he was, you know, a good teacher.”

“If the press is going to slander him, they should slander him for horrible things he has actually done, not stuff they made up.”

“Cheers to that.”

“And what Asano said is right. 3-E is being put on blast for no reason.”

“Well, they’re being painted as victims, not as the guilty party…”

“Still!”

“I guess the silver lining is the parts of the internet that are seeing Koro-sensei in a better light.”

“What do you mean?”

“The fact that 3-E is keeping mum about the whole situation - not their choice, but the point still stands. The fact that they’re still alive, even… and that Koro-sensei hasn’t done real harm (not that the public knows of) since he’s appeared.”

“Aw man, those weird memes we made are recirculating again. Not the Yanagisawa Labs one, the Koro-sensei ones.”

“The hashtags are kinda funny.”

“I can’t believe we actually started a rabbit hole just by making stupid memes and reddit posts.”

“Yeah, it was what everyone was talking about! You know, for like three days.”

“Yeah, my news feed was just drowned in-”

“I got it!”

“What?”

“We’re not allowed to talk about Koro-sensei, right? But what if we talk about the opposite of Koro-sensei?”

“I honestly doubt any minor scandal is going to overpower the situation now.”

“I mean, yeah, of course not. The supercreature octopus is too sensationalized. But we just make enough noise.”

“To…”

“To cover up all the mean things they’re saying about 3-E and Koro-sensei!” 

“That would take an insane amount of terrible memes.”

“Ritsu! Ritsu!”

“Uh-m… I’m not allowed to help you all post about Koro-sensei-”

“We’re doing the opposite, Ritsu! We’re  _ not _ posting about Koro-sensei. We’re posting so much about not Koro-sensei!”

“...Well… I guess… that’s not illegal?”

“Will that actually work?”

\--

**[Anaya's house, mid-afternoon]**

“Tentacle hentai. Send tweet. Hashtag… every possible hashtag.”

“Concept: Octopus supercreature, takoyaki, vore. Post that on tumblr.”

“Photoshop him into toothpaste commercials.”

“Just so you know,” Ritsu says, “I hate every single one of you.”

\--

**[That same afternoon, still Anaya's house, after Saito, Yuna and Rukiyo make an emergency snack run]**

“Hi, welcome to my livestream! I’m here with my friends and we’re all from Kunugigaoka Middle School, the very same school that is currently being put on lockdown due to the octopus supercreature. Wow, there are so many people on this livestream… yes, surprise, we speak english. Anyways, we’re not from the main classroom but we’re… involved. Today we are going to  _ not _ answer questions that people are asking! So we’re getting a comment here about… what is the octopus supercreature like? So instead of answering that question, here we have a masterlist of every single plant in our school. So by the main entrance gates there are some maple-”

\--

**[Twenty minutes into the livestream, at the Asano's, knee deep into administrative documents and pencil pushing]**

Sakakibara looks up from his phone. “I didn’t know we had orchids in our school. Why do we have orchids?”

Asano leans a hand on his cheek. “My mom liked them.”

“Awww.”

\--

**[Later that evening]**

“And we have a question from… well I’m not allowed to read usernames with bad words in them. They ask, “can you stop *bleep* ing around and just tell us about the octopus? Well, if you insist… Next up on our speakers panel we have our biology club vice president here to talk about marine life-”

\--

**[The next morning]**

“You’re making journalists write articles on how Koro-sensei is actually a good teacher.”

“Yeah?” The Principal sounds irritated. “And?”

Asano junior graces him with a flat stare. “That’s not going to work. It’s a futile measure to save his reputation.”

Asano senior scowls at him. “Your friends are posting pictures on the internet.”

“And they’re doing a better job at conflict de-escalation than you are.”

\--

**[T-1 day]**

“You guys did  _ what now _ ?!”

“We broke out of the base,” Takebayashi says. “We weren’t allowed to. Break out, I mean.”

Watanabe gapes at her phone, but then sets it down and puts it on speaker so she can grab her laptop. “How?”

“We, uh, blew a hole into the side of the room wall. Bitch-sensei helped us by smuggling materials to make a bomb with”

“And the military didn’t stop you after that?”

“I… guess not?”

“Wow, that’s insane. I guess they didn’t want a scandal - well, bigger than what they already have, that is. They told everyone that keeping you guys locked up was for your protection, you know? It wouldn’t look very good if they dragged you back kicking and screaming.”   
“Speaking of what the government is saying,” Takebayashi says. “We had to go no contact the past few days. We finally got internet access back and what exactly has Main been doing?”

“Haha,” Watanabe says. “About that.”

\--

**[The same time with the same people, but I have a section break because I'm extra and I think this block of text deserves it]**

“I mean, they do have us on an NDA, but that’s not the point. The point is Asano managed to find a catalogue of all the paint colours the school uses and we’ve created a moodboard. The point is that we’ve collated a recipe book based off the food you guys made for your 3-E mountain cafe during the school festival. The point is that there are already gifsets of us on the internet.  _ The point is,  _ we’re not terrified screaming children begging for the execution of a monster that was a teacher in our school, and now more people are judging why Principal Asano chose to paint four different shades of white on his walls instead of saying that Koro-sensei is a terrible terrible creature.”

\--

**[Back at it again with them]**

“You guys  _ busted out _ and now you’re going to go back in?!”

“Yes. We have to see Koro-sensei one last time… and we’re not going to let anyone else take this away from us. We’re going to have to be the ones to kill him.”

“...Well, good luck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to finish the fic in this whole chapter but I realize the tone shift would be... pretty abrupt. You know. Since the immediate aftermath is quite literally Koro-sensei dying.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh you guys it's here. The End. (Haven't I been saying that for the past few chapters? But this is really it, guys.) I'm overwhelmed.
> 
> At the start of my more recent chapters I say "omg sorry I haven't been updating" and... yes. Omg sorry I haven't been updating. It's been... about two weeks! Since my last update. College has started, which is one of the reasons. There's another reason... I'll mention it in the end notes. Anyways plug time:  
> If you don't keep up with my dashboard: I participated in AssClass BigBang 2020 and I wrote a fic for it! It's called [Canyon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750363), it's 17k words long, and that's also where a bulk of my time went. (It completely went in a different direction than I was expecting but I kinda like it. I mean I sure hope i liked it because I wrote it.) I also drew some art the fic for [The Final Assassination](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Ass_Class_Big_Bang_2020/works/25886398) which is also great (the fic not the art). Do check out some of the other works by the super talented contributors!! The fics are all slated to be slowly posted over the month, so more works will appear.

The sun dawns bright on Graduation Day. Birds are chirping, flowers are singing, the press is trying to break down the front gates and get into Kunugigaoka Middle School. You know, a nice summer day.

There’s a lot to get done in the next…

...fifteen minutes.

\--

"-and you guys just stay here for now,” Watanabe coos, patting the person next to her - Kurahashi - on the head. “We’ll take care of everything.”

\--

So 3-E has killed their teacher. That’s done and dusted. What’s next is, as far as everyone is concerned, the toughest task to follow: handling the press. 

There were a couple of expert press-handlers in the miscellaneous group of year 3 Middle School students. That’s what you get when you mixed in a giant pot of trust-fund rich kids and global conglomerate inheritance babies - a bunch of little shits that have been the faces of the public eye ever since their wealthy parents paraded them onto the streets to earn that “family friendly” stamp of approval next to their brand name.

(Say what you wanted about Gakuhou Asano, he was a smart man. And smart men knew that when they were getting into the childhood education business, having a bright-eyed giggling toddler on your hip was a better advertisement than a billboard could ever be.)

So Main has been dealing with them for the past week in the best way they knew how, subverting expectations. Hours upon hours of spontaneously generated clickbait content that would have been accused of impersonating a buzzfeed list had they already not been featured in some. 

“Dirty secrets of Kunugigaoka Middle School: what is in the janitor’s closet?” 

“The Octopus in Kunugigaoka: Students spill tell-all about the infamous Takoyaki Thursday”. 

“Monsters in Japan: a literature review about Godzilla”

This made a lot of people on the internet very upset, but it made a lot of the parents of the 3-E students very happy because the people on the internet were no longer talking about their children. There was a thing to be said about the media culture of the world where a bunch of families who sent their kids off to what is essentially a war to save the world couldn’t enjoy a little bit of privacy. (Luckily for them, “Keeping Secrets in Kunugigaoka Middle School: ranking the best hiding spots for your hide-and-seek adventures in the Main Campus” could help a little with that.)

That plan unfortunately had some drawbacks. After an agonizing week of being held at bay by a bunch of schoolchildren with a camera and a weaponized supercomputer killing machine, the press were out for blood. 

Especially since that the ball has dropped (the bomb has been defused, the laser has been fired, the world has not ended), and the 3-E students were now forced out of hiding by circumstances beyond their control.

And they couldn’t get a little time to grieve healthily before being bombarded by the reality that is the paparazzi? 

Boo.

\--

“We’re going to block off all the entrances and exits, so we can control the flow of people,” Asano says. “Gates D and E are reserved for the family members of our graduates and they will have an unrestricted path to the main hall. Gate A is the only gate we will allow the press to use - yes, as much as I dislike them, this entire incident is unfortunately too sensational to keep under wraps. 

There will be barricades and the military are present to enforce order, but I suspect a few stray daring journalists might manage to break past the preliminary defences… and something tells me the general public might overwhelm our military. They did, after all, get beaten out by our little class of misfits. 

Fortunately for us, I have received express permission to - within legal bounds, of course - to implement our very own Kunugigaoka student-enforced security to protect the integrity of our school. The clause is that whatever security measures we take has to be approved by the Principal.”

Asano pauses for dramatic effect.

“My father is beyond _pissed_ that the ever expanding crowd of people are trampling his thousand dollar landscaping efforts, so he has, and I quote, told me to _go fucking nuts_.”

Asano claps his hands once. “So here’s what we’re going to do.”

\--

It’s a final last ditch effort. 3-E has saved the world and it is now their turn to need a little bit of saving themselves. 3-E’s name has been the “#1 trending” topic on the headlines for the past week, and everybody is now fighting tooth and nail to get the biggest scoop of the century. 

The UN has officially announced as of midnight that the threat that was Koro-sensei is no more. Kunugigaoka Middle School’s graduation ceremony is slated to be the first public appearance for 3-E since this whole situation made breaking news, and since then it has been a stampede (in the most literal sense) to the gates of Kunugigaoka Middle School.

The Principal has, in a rather uncharacteristic and perhaps justified move, taken the school PA system and told the surrounding neighbourhood very menacingly that he was going to haul ass to court for trespassing if anyone so much took a step over the yellow tape before their doors were open. And then there was a feedback screech in the audio before it went dark, setting the mood rather nicely. (That is, if you weren’t present in the main Office as it went down, and did not witness the Principal’s teenage son wrestle him for the microphone because he wanted to say the word “Fuck”.) 

Kunugigaoka’s events have always been open to the public. Their track record was a very long list of achievements and it always made for good press… until today. (In fairness, saving the world was a pretty great achievement. It’s just not what’s on everybody’s mind now.)

\--

3-E is huddled up in one of the large cushy conference rooms that Principal Asano reserves for his most prestigious guests. They’re messing up the carpet with comfort breakfast foods and curled up in chairs with blankets. They’re given crisp new uniforms so they don’t need to go home to get theirs, a few more snacks, and “Spongebob Squarepants the Movie” was currently playing on the large projector screen. 

“G-graduation is a happy affair,” Isogai sobs. “We should be happy!”

“I am! I’m happy!” Kataoka blubbers, and then bursts into (sad) tears.

“Oh dear,” Anaya says, peering into the room, where all the other 3-E students simultaneously start wailing. “I don’t suppose coffee would fix this situation.”

\--

“What is going on?”

“Oh, hey Sakakibara,” Mako says. “We’re digging a hole.”

“I can see that,” Sakakibara says. He has a clipboard in his hands. “Should I be concerned?”

There’s a three feet deep trench in the middle of Kunugigaoka field. 3-D and their direct successors class 2-D are, for some reason, methodologically working at expanding it. It’s now stretching half the field wide.

(The junior students of Kunugigaoka High are pitching in to make this graduation an affair that the world will never forget. It’s a mixture between genuine empathy/sympathy/compassion for their 3-E seniors who have gone through life and death and hell and back, the fear of missing out, and general fidgetiness of needing to show participation in this world-changing phenomenon.

That, and the set-up for all of these “security measures” need to happen during the graduation ceremony itself while everyone is occupied by it. And the year 3 seniors would be too busy being the graduation ceremony to complete the proceedings.) 

The field is a key area to protect. There are easily-climbable barriers around it. Anyone who cuts across their school field can rush straight to the hall without going through the labyrinth of security checks set up ahead which, in the mess of the media (they’re already clambering outside the school gates), there will no doubt be people who manage to evade security.

How a three foot deep trench will stop them, Sakakibara doesn’t know. He could just step over it. Then again he had long legs, and he wouldn’t be carrying large heavy filming equipment, so perhaps the journalists might find this a genuinely impassable obstacle?

“You told us to cordon this place off,” Shun says. “We decided to dig a hole.”

Sakakibara opens his mouth. 

“It’d work,” Yuki says.

Sakakibara closes his mouth. “If you’re sure,” he says, hesitantly. 

“Of course,” Hosu says. “This place will be cordoned off in no time, not even Principal Asano would be able to get past it!”

\--

“This is the largest piece of cloth we have in the school?”

“I guess so,” Tsubara says. “I don’t see anything else.”

3-B and 2-B have dug through the various storerooms and janitors’ closets and have reunited with their spoils. They’ve been instructed rather aptly to just “get whatever is useful and do whatever is useful”, by a very perplexed Seo who seemed like he’d be supervising whatever else. 

The large group has split up and there are currently two teams slicking up the hallways with far too much bleach and soap. It’s as slippery as a slip-and-slide now, which was definitely the point, and on the bright side the hallways would be cleaner than they ever would be in decades. (And that’s really saying something, considering Kunugigaoka isn’t even a decade old yet.)

“Why is the biggest tarp we have here a giant school flag?” Asami pokes at it. “Like, seriously. What occasion would we actually need this?”

“It’d do its job,” Jiro says. “Anything else we can use?”

“We… found a bunch of water pistols?”

“Hmm.”

\--

“Is that a wall of Koro-sensei pictures?”

“Well, the main point of the journalists’ coming here is to get more information on Koro-sensei,” Rei says. “So we’ll give them what they want. A wall of exclusive pictures of Koro-sensei.”

It’s a little reminiscent of Karma Akabane’s first hand at messing with his class representatives by rather literally making a collage wall of, as mentioned, Koro-sensei pictures. It didn’t slow them down much at the time, but hopefully they’ll do the job this time. The classes C are sticking posters to movable whiteboards which they need to deploy at a moments’ notice.

“First they’ll see it and pay no mind because they think it’s a distraction effort,” Juno says. “But then one of them will notice that these pictures are exclusive from the public and yell it out in excitement, which will stop some journalists in this tracks. This causes a jam as everyone halts in their route, before word is passed down and they turn their attention to the pictures in excitement, hoping to take photographs of as many as possible. Then they’ll realize that the entire wall of pictures is simply the same set of collages repeated multiple times and go on their way.”

“It’d slow them down for an estimated 15.82 minutes,” Rukiyo says. 

“I like this idea,” Araki says.

“Yeah, so now we have to photocopy this giant poster another 32 times.”

\--

“Remind me again why we’re dismantling all the wifi routers?”

“So nobody can livestream,” Chika says.

“Like those do-not-record signs are going to do anything,” Toro snorts.

They weren’t. Ritsu has her own satellite hotspot, which is cool and all, and it is what the Kunugigaoka staff are using for the moment. Unfortunately the higher-end journalist companies would also arrive with their own wifi contingencies in place. Which is why in place of wifi-routers, they’re putting up except-for-Ritsu signal blockers. It won’t exactly prevent the eventual reporting of the incident (in a studio, with the editing team cursing everyone out), but it would prevent live broadcasting, at the very least. Which should be enough time for, in Asano junior’s concerning words, his father to step in if needed.

The faith he had in Asano Senior was equal parts sweet and terrifying. And they weren’t unfounded fears, either. 

(Tsubara has recently checked up on the exchange students, who he’d struck up a tenacious friendship with, and they’ve congratulated him on his relationship status, expressed sympathy for Asano’s kidnapping and parental lineage, and then proceeded to say “what the fuck” in their home languages for the next half an hour.

And then Asano junior had to step in and have four different conversations in four different languages at once. To summarize: all their broken bones have healed, there will be no further perusal of the case, and they were probably never going to come back to visit Kunugigaoka. Which, fair.)

\--

As expected, the signs are ignored and the crowds are intense. Cameras push up as far against the barriers as they would go, 3-E is nowhere to be seen (they’re still hiding in the conference room), which curbs the excitement in the room a little bit, at the very least. 

Principal Asano, with a seemingly bored demeanor, steps up onto the podium. Lights flash. He goes through the motions of a pleasant school address like the whole world isn’t watching. 

They are, and they’re definitely judging him. Most people think he’s incredibly shady, and they’re right. Some people (finding out he has a son) thinks he’s a dilf. Others (what are they on?) think that Nothing he has ever done is Wrong, and they’re wrong.

And then Karasuma-sensei is up, as the representative of the military. He takes the weight of the attention off the Principal, who he graciously spins to be just a pawn of the government, (even though Principal Asano had his knights on the chessboard the whole time.) It was part of the agreement to absolve Kunugigaoka and Principal Asano all legal and moral obligations of hosting Koro-sensei on campus… but everything else - the painfully biased system, the elitist dictatorship - had been all the Principal. Now that Kunugigaoka is in the spotlight, that responsibility was not something Principal Asano can brush away.

The younger Asano is up next, and he gives a rather cutting valedictorian speech. He calls 3-E a bunch of losers (in more words) and then calls them _his_ losers and says that anyone else who calls them losers are bigger losers (in not so many words), and then he says that he’s better than everyone and that the media should be focused on him instead of on 3-E’s mundane achievement of saving the world.

Well he actually says, “graduation should be a celebration of all the milestones that Kunugigaoka class of 2015 have reached. I would like to take the time to commemorate, on top of 3-E’s stellar performance this year, the other achievements that the student body have accomplished.” And the ones he proceeded to list out mostly coincidentally had him in them. 

\--

And then the ceremony starts proper. Everyone walks up to receive their transcripts, everyone is scared shitless of the man handing out their transcripts, the Principal grips Tsubara’s hand so hard when he shakes it, Tsubara thinks he heard a crack. (He did, but it was his knees from all the nerves. The Principal’s not allowed to intimidate kids on camera.)

\--

And then one by one 3-E steps out. They emerge from backstage and retreat backstage immediately after, so they’re time in the limelight is limited. Most of them have red eyes and sniffling faces and they grin so hard and at the camera (the one their parents are holding or from the school photographer at the side) because they can’t believe they’re here, for more reasons than one.

The two non-graduating years of Kunugigaoka Middle School have filed into the back of the hall and situated themselves in front of the journalists. When 3-E student number 1 Karma Akabane steps out with his head high, years 1 and 2 immediately jump to their feet. They cheer, for both the sake of making noise to drown out harassment calls, and to lift comically large signs to block out the hundreds of cameras behind them.

On stage, the Principal looks as amused as he can probably ever look. Karma Akabane cracks a grin. 

And then all 27 students sans Ritsu get their graduation certificates and retreat, the press say as many family-friendly words to the “if it weren’t for you little brats, we would have gotten great pictures” to the students, and the parents shoot them dirty looks.

Then it’s time for phase two. 

\--

Gate C is the gate where the bus for the 3-E students is waiting. They’re supposed to take that bus to be whisked off to a secure government facility. The 3-E kids are supposed to get to gate C, and no one has said that they are supposed to, which means none of the press know which route 3-E is going to take.

Unfortunately, the media have eyes. Too many of them. That means that although they do not know where 3-E is walking to, they can see that 3-E is walking.

So of course the chase starts. 

\--

Immediately on all four sides of 3-E, Kunugigaoka students surround them. Stupidly Large Kunugigaoka Flag is hoisted above their heads, and everyone thanks the Principal for making such a strange but ultimately useful purchase.

“This tarp is ruining the lighting of you all so they can’t get great pictures,” Sakakibara says proudly.

“I mean, the tarp is also covering them so they can’t take pictures in the first place,” Tanaka points out.

“Um, yeah, whatever,” Sakakibara says.

They make it out onto the open courtyard.

“Okay, honestly, you have a better chance of making it if you just run,” Koyama says.

So the 3-E kids take off.

\--

The press, determined, split up. (They’re not part of a cohesive working team, but they split up nonetheless.) The more forgetful ones run towards the same exit they entered from, where they would later be greeted with godawfully slippery floors and walls upon walls of Koro-sensei pictures. Students on the upper floors aim down with water pistols, and wet sound/camera equipment aren;t, well, the best. The slightly less forgetful ones remember a giant open field that can serve as a wonderful shortcut, only to arrive there and be greeted by strange bubbling liquid rising from and covering the entire span of the field.

“You wouldn’t want to step there,” Kai says. “A pipe running under the field has broken. It’s the pipe that leads to our chemistry labs, so whatever’s coming out here is full of chemicals that will melt your face off. We decided to stand guard here because a lot of people like you are walking past.”

(Well, really, it’s just plain water with dye and a bunch of bubblers from the biology lab fish tanks hidden in a large trench that are making all the fuss. The grass will be blue and extremely well watered for a little while, but that was it.)

“Um,” says one journalist.

From the other end of the field, Aoi dips a leg into the blue water, then pulls it out with the most unholy screech. “IT BURNS!”

So they have to all backtrack to join the hallway of perilous dangers, or something. All in all, it's a success.

\--

The 3-E kids make it to the bus. They clamber on, stare out into Kunugigaoka soulfully for a few moments, and the bus is gone. 

The Principal gazes over his school with a long-suffering gaze and retires to his office to contemplate his resignation letter. 

The students use the power of evaporation to save the field, they wash off floors (full of muddy footprints and slip-and-slide marks) with water, and they recover what is left of their Koro-sensei posters. (Apparently some people had the sense to simply rip off a poster and take it with them. Oh well.)

Asano Junior bitches a little about how his “big day” is overshadowed by a bunch of no-good troublemaker 3-E students who “saved the world” or whatever. Ugh.

Yuna asks Asano why their school didn’t have a prom.

“Isn’t this good enough for you?”

“Is being an internet sensation good enough for me?” Yuna gapes, like Asano is an idiot for asking this question. “No! I want to wear a pretty dress and eat fancy dinner.”

“I mean,” Asano shrugs, with a shoulder, “you can do that now.”

“It’s just not the same,” Yuna sags.

“Anaya’s year-end bash is essentially prom,” Asano points out.

So it is.

\--

It’s a grand celebration. The world didn’t explode, everyone graduated alive - what more could they ask for?

“Oh my god,” Irina Jelavic says, stars in her eyes, as she wanders the party grounds with a flute of non-alcoholic sparkling apple juice. “I’ve never been to a school party before.”

“Oh,” Karasuma says, a little awkward. (He’s at a middle school kids party, which he hasn’t been to since he was in, well, middle school. But the other staff are here, and the Principal is too, getting in a progressively more heated debate with his son in a corner, and there is Araki counting something with tally marks on a whiteboard; he doesn’t remember party games like this when he was a kid.)

“Just so you know,” Kayano says, sweeping past them entirely in her glamour lifestyle element. “Whatever you do, we will be judging you.” 

(Because Irina and Karasuma have moved in together anyways. But that’s because Irina’s government funded housing situation is no longer in place and she says she’d probably move back to Europe if she didn’t have anything to do, and Karasuma panicked and offered her a job, and then panicked again and offered her a room. With a strictly professional relationship, of course.

That’s a lie, because Irina’s puppy-crush on Karasuma is now sort of reciprocated, so how professional could it be? Which is cute, and makes for a great romcom roommate situation, but as Kayano said - a bunch of soon-to-be high schoolers are judging it.)

The highlight of the night has everyone crammed into the home theatre. The mood gets a little somber, and sad, and then Koro-sensei appears on the big screen. 

Ritsu has recorded a little something from him, for them.

\--

“All of you,” he says, (10 minutes into the video, by which time everyone is either in tears or trying to pretend like they weren't. Koro-sensei had a promising career in public speaking if he was, you know, alive.) “Has made this octopus’s last year of life a very wonderful and fulfilling one. Every one of you made this long journey an amazing one. 

Not all of us knew to make the right decisions at the beginning - even Sensei, you know, as hard as you find it to believe (3-E laughs a little), but we have all grown together as people. I believe we have all learnt how to love and accept and forgive, and we’ve all learnt to open our hearts. Remember that we can keep choosing to do better.

Main Campus… even if I hadn’t personally taught you, I just want you all to know that I am very proud! You all have promising careers as assassins! - although I’m not supposed to say that. I’m glad to have worked beside you, knowingly or unknowingly, through this year.

Thank you, everyone.” 

\--

“So this is really it,” Asano junior says, overlooking Kunugigaoka Middle School.

“Don’t act like most of us aren’t going back there for High School,” Sakakibara says.

“Well, it’d certainly be different,” Koyama says.

“Without the E Class system,” Seo agrees, “Or a giant yellow octopus that blew up the moon.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a moral in here somewhere,” Araki muses.

“Is there?”

“I don’t know. But there’s a moral in most things.”

“How about… be better at keeping secrets?”

“Yeah. Sounds about right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... cannot believe this. This fic... is complete. Oh my god.
> 
> Some notes (for the final time):
> 
> I feel like I say this with a lot of my fics. It did not go the way it expected me to go. This is my extremely experimental fic that I don't know what possessed me to write where I started off with an extreme ton of OCs I didn't know what to deal with and eventually fell in love with them. I feel like I just went WILD with the themes, the conversations this took, even some of the chapter formatting.  
> I really want to thank everyone for reading, commenting, making this fic alive! I love you all for your support. I don't think I would have written as much as I did without everyone! Even if you didn't like parts or all of this fic, that's okay! I would still love to hear everyone's thoughts if you would like to share them, good or bad.  
> I do have a [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/gwendeeagain) you can always ping me on! I may not always reply immediately but I will be there! 
> 
> Future plans:
> 
> This was one of my longest fics and I had mini projects going on between it, like Karushuu Week 2020 series of super short ficlets (AHHH I love them), my [AssClass 2020 BigBang fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25750363)... okay WOW honestly I think I wrote a lot in between this fic. It spanned 6 months! Can you believe it???  
> Anyways, what's new? What's kicking? Well... honestly I don't know.  
> The first mention of this fic was back in the end notes of my previous multichapter where I also entertained a Kayano/Gakushuu (it happened) and a multichapter KaraHou (pffttt). The latter might still happen, though not anytime soon. (It's a possibility.)  
> Another reason it took so long for this last chapter to come out is because I had an epiphany (aka a stupid idea) and had to write it down. And before I knew it it was a 15k word stupid idea. (Yeah, I wrote 15k words in between this chapter and the previous, and I'm not counting my BigBang entry in that.) I can confidently say that it will be the Worst Thing I have ever written and you all will Hate Me for it, and it is also no where near done, but I am super excited. I hate it so much already and I want to finish it.  
> ANYWAYS before that sees the light of day, remember how a few chapters ago I said it would be cool if Reaper 2.0 and small child Gakushuu were friends? Well I wrote that because I already wrote that. It was actually a super early idea that first came up when I bounced it around with Skye and according to the document timestamp I had it in, I wrote it about June. So I'll clean it up, get over the mortifying element of anxiety before I post something new, and you'll see it soon.  
> Also I'll wrap up Tidal Walk. I'm like, partway through the last chapter.
> 
> That's it from me!

**Author's Note:**

> Here we have it for now, thanks for reading! Feel free to leave a comment about anything at all!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Case SC3E](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26427154) by [ElvaDeath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvaDeath/pseuds/ElvaDeath)




End file.
